Marriage values in our society....

Has there always been affairs? Yes there has, but people today just don't see marriage as sacred anymore. Most people nowadays get married for all the wrong reasons and then end up divorcing down the line. And celebrities, I am sorry to say it, have made marriage out to be a joke and so kids think of it as that, a joke.

Granted my husband and I have only been married for almost 2 years, but it wasn't a decision to jump into. We have been together for almost 5 years, and have an almost 1 year old, but we had been engaged for 2 years before we got married, and we went through the engaged couples stuff that the church makes you go through, but we look back on it and it makes us appreciate what we have and helped our lines of communication.

Hahahahaha this is just too much fun...

Especially this bit... "Most people nowadays get married for all the wrong reasons"... wow, you KNOW why MOST people get married?

facepalm. lots.

The person that has an affair eventually gets whats coming to them anyways...
Yes I believe in karma.


Really.... what if they found someone who loves them and didnt beat them down everyday.. you mean Karma will finally find them someone who loves them for who they are.... remember Karma got everyones back....

I see a lot of...almost hypocritical replies to this post, lol. People are criticizing your "judgmental" behavior but in doing so are being quite judgmental themselves, lol. Everyone has an opinion on something. Not all of us will agree on everything.

I respect your decision to post your feelings about this topic. I mean, this is a forum and I always figured that expression of individual opinion is welcomed. People come here to read interesting things, ideas, opinions. I think some people are particularly drawn to seemingly controversial topics such as this.

Anyway, backtracking to your original post--I tend to agree with you on the statement that affairs are not right. I mean..I look at it, like I do with most things (if not everything)-- with consideration of relativity. What is the couple's personal definition of affair? Are they in an open relationship? If not, then what are their agreed upon definitions of what is okay/not okay? I think it is wrong when someone expresses and agrees to a certain relationship rule and then betrays that (especially when they heavily expect it from their partner to obey that rule).

As much as it disappoints me to see relationships fall apart due to such acts/behaviors...the main thing that is important to me is my personal relationship and being sure that there are shared definitions, values, and understandings within that specific relationship.

I totally agree with savage22hp. It is so refreshing to read this type of response, especially when you said "being tolerant of these ideas excludes calling anyone sad for feeling the way they do." *thumbs up*

Oh, and why is marriage "sacred"? It is only a contract really, and contracts are broken or dissolved all the time. Of course, I'm an atheist and don't place the same importance on the word "marriage" many religious people might.

I'm going to jump in and add that no one is under any obligation to enter into a marriage contract or any other type of monogamous relationship in 2013.

If you make a promise, you will be shamed for breaking it. That's part of the glue that's held human society together for several thousand years. But no one is forcing kids to get married at age 12 to people they've never met to form important military alliances anymore- if you don't want to keep a promise, don't make it.

THIS!

There are culturally universal morals....there is human decency. Accountability is going down in our society. No one wants anyone to call them on their crap. This is not to say that the world hasn't come a long way as far as civil rights are concerned...although I'm not sure how floggings, witch hunts, and believing in Jesus and Dinosaurs got mixed up in a thread about somebody saying morality has gone down in a particular area...marriage. The OP was talking about a relationship that was supposed to be monogamous in the particular context. A lot of the more outlandish and psuedo-tough-guy type posters took the situation way out of context. Context is key. If you are in a relationship where you both promised to be with only one person...the other person...and one of you cheats. It's wrong. It's a foul and people have the right to call it what it is. Goodness, some of you guys are quick to pull out your particular soapboxes...hijacking threads to point the finger at people for "imposing" their opinion why you do your best to discredit them and inflict your own opinion. Socially, we've come light years with women's rights, religious persecution, and civil rights in general. Yay. That is wonderful., and I am hoping we will continue to move forward in a lot of aspects. Morally, however, it's the pits because we're adopting the thought that there is no "right" or "wrong". So "judging" is now the high sin...that everyone condemns (isn't that judging also).

SN: I find it funny that the people that are screaming that others are being "Judgy" would probably be the same to go IN (attack, degrade, speak ill of) on one of America's punching bags (i.e. The President, Corporations, NRA)...or for the Politically Incorrect, Colbert Report, The Soup fans sub-pop-culture drones someone who it's popular for the fringe social set to deem uncool/overexposed/awful or a trainwreck....say...Lindsay Lohan. Oh then it would be fine to judge. Just like it's fine to think Christians are ignorant and Atheists are deviants. *sigh*

PS....married for 23 years here

so, who's down for some sexting?

sorry, bad joke.

Oh goodness :laugh:

There are two sides to the story and everyone is entitled to have an opinion on the subject.
We all judge and will be judged.

I've been on the receiving end of people's opinions and judgements and it makes a tough time tougher. I didn't have an affair but I walked out on a man whose family (inc Cousins and their wives and so on) to this day think very badly of me, and feel that their own son did nothing to deserve being left.

My own family know the truth!

SO, when I hear a couple has separated now, I wouldn't want to PRESUME to feel disappointed. HOw dare I brand the end of a marriage I know nothing about 'a disappointment'?

I TRY to rein in any emotions, because when you're trying to hold your head up and piece your life back together again, the weight of everybody else's OPINIONS and judgement and even PITY can really weigh quite heavily.

I agree with posters who say that the old days were not all they were cracked up to be. It didn't matter how dysfunctional a family was in the old days so long as they conformed to the norms.

OP, I'm happy for you that you're so much better than everyone else. You should go buy yourself a little trophy.

Or a cookie.

Or a trophy MADE of cookies