Goal weight? Starting to doubt

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  • denezy
    denezy Posts: 573 Member
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    My friend recently said I would look too skinny at my goal when I said I wanted to be a size 8. Like wtf... ???

    I started at 16 and am currently a 12.

    (she's a size 6 but about 5 inches shorter).
  • lfergurson1
    lfergurson1 Posts: 137 Member
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    Just tell them that its your preference to use the bmi scale to decide the healthiest weight for you! Good job you look great. Keep it up!
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    I dont have one.


    I am more concerned with the reflection n the mirror and how my clothes fit.
  • tenas
    tenas Posts: 121
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    I haven't set an ultimate goal weight because I've never been at a healthy weight and I don't know what weight I will be comfortable at. I've set myself mini-goals to work towards and when I reach one I change my goal weight to be the weight at my next mini-goal.
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    I started this to get my blood pressure down. It is not working like I had hoped. The bp is still considered high especially since I am on 2 different meds for it. I do feel better.

    Give yourself a little more time with this. It may yet come down. You still have a ways to go to get to a healthy BMI.

    Congrats on your progress!

    I agree with others that it's probably just because they aren't used to seeing you at your current size or smaller. Give it time and keep going. They will come around.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    Don't change your goals for other people. It is really easy to stop losing weight once you are happy with yourself.

    From a completely objective point of view, 135 for 5'5" is not too skinny. (Okay, not completely objective because I'm 5'5" and weight 4 pounds less than that.)
  • gentle511
    gentle511 Posts: 3
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    I too am the same height. my weight when starting was 181. i set my short goal for 170 from jan-march then another 10 from march until may just so i would not get frustrated. i did set a goal for eventually 150 but i too would love 135. when i was in my 20's 140 seemed 'fat' but of course i was only 120 lbs. i do not think 135 is unrealistic. as long as you feel good. most people when they r used to seeing u a particular size then you want to be a lower number they 'think' you will be too skinny. just don't tell them...
  • kbkeats
    kbkeats Posts: 103 Member
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    That's always a hard question to answer! I'm 5'6 and my goal weight would be 145, but I know my body and how my weight sits and I'd be happy any where between 145 and 150. For myself it's mostly a diet change - 20lbs to go!
    I think as long as you're proud of what you've accomplished and you feel healthy at your weight, it's a good thing. The BMI scale is pretty archaic and I think should be used as more of a rough guide than a defining tool.
  • darlilama
    darlilama Posts: 794 Member
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    I get the 'don't get too skinny' all the time. People aren't used to seeing a 'fit and smaller' you. If you are in the healthy range, ignore them! Just smile, say I won't and move on.

    ^^ This. They may honestly be concerned, or maybe a bit jealous. :)
  • corrinnebrown
    corrinnebrown Posts: 345 Member
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    Your goal weight may be too low but only you will know that. I always wanted to be 125-135 but then i got down to a size 8 (I am hippy so this is as small as I can go) but I was 145. I think we set a goal because that is the magical number in our head. The truth is you may look fabulous at 145 and too skinny at 135.

    I say go with how you feel. If you think you look good at 150 or 140 or even 130 then thats all that matters :D
  • bokodasu
    bokodasu Posts: 629 Member
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    Bodies are weird. They're all like, "I need energy, hey, here's a random fat cell, let's use it!" And so when you're losing weight, or have just finished losing, you get wacky-looking things like skinny earlobes. Then they settle down and go, "right, now let's reorganize and store all this stuff efficiently" and then you look normal again, just thinner.

    So yes, "don't get too thin!" comments are really common, because you've got one weirdly skinny (or just unbalanced) part that someone noticed. Don't let it get to you.

    I don't have a goal weight, personally, but I've got fitness goals that do require losing some weight, so I guess you could say I chose my goal weight based on where I need to be to do what I want to do.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    Firstly, don't get too discouraged because your weight doesn't hold up to the BMI standard. The BMI charts are based ONLY on height, age, and weight. It does not take into account body type, body fat percentage and/or muscle mass, and bone density. The BMI chart says I should weigh 135 just to be in the healthy range. However, I know from past experience (before I became obese) that I can wear a size 7/8 at 145-150 pounds. 7/8 is NOT an unhealthy size. If I tried to get under 135, I'd start to look like skin and bones. A 60lb weight loss is phenominal, and think how much better you feel now. People who tell you things like, "You're starting to get too skinny," or, "Don't lose too much weight," are only saying that because you are starting to look so different than you did before. Trust me, family members started saying the same thing to me and my mom when we lost 30-40lbs each while I was in high school. We did NOT look too skinny, we just didn't look the way people had always seen us before. They weren't used to it and it freaked them out. Don't take those comments too seriously. You know where you need to be to look and feel your best.
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    I'm 5'1 and currently at goal at 123 lb. This puts me on the middle/heavier end of normal weight range for my height. I'm trying ot focus more on my fat percentage now rather than weight. Unexpectedly, I'm starting to have a problem with clothes - meaning, I have to get the smallest sizes now (NL 34, UK 6, US 4) and those aren't always available... Bizarre upside down world...

    As for the naysaysers, if the numbers are good and objectively speaking your goal IS within the normal range, then don't pay any attention to them. Chances are thir body-image is so distorted they have no idea what normal is.
  • castadiva
    castadiva Posts: 2,016 Member
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    Concurring with those who have said not to get too hung up on what the BMI scale says you 'should' be. It's an imperfect system, designed for poulations rather than individuals. At the end of the day, you have to take any of these 'ideals' with a pinch of salt - they simply cannot account for the marvellous diversity within the human race. You mentioned that you have an athletic build - I think you used the word 'stocky'... chances are, a healthy weight for you may be a bit higher than BMI would suggest, particularly if you have a well-developed musculature.

    I do empathise with the 'don't take it too far remarks', though. My face has slimmed down more than any other part of me, and while I still want to lose another 1.5-2 stone, those numbers sound huge to anyone who has never had more than 10-15lbs to lose themselves. I say that's my goal, and they envisage someone pretty gaunt, whereas I know that the next 21-28lbs should come off the bits I'm still concerned about, and keep fairly well-hidden, lower-abdomen, upper thighs and arms, hopefully leaving me toned, and attractively slender (for my frame), whilst still maintaining my feminine curvaceousness. When I'm happy with how those areas look, which I envisage I will be at that stage, that's my gauge of what a healthy weight for me is, which, by the way, the BMI charts place mid-overweight for my height. If I aimed for 'healthy' on that scale, I'd be setting myself up for trouble.
  • 19kat55
    19kat55 Posts: 336 Member
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    Though it's a crude measure, I used some online calculators to guess at my then current body fat percentage, and multiplied that by my weight to arrive at a lean body mass total. Then I used the body fat percentage I want to get to (8-10%) to back into what I would consider my ideal weight.
    For example, I was 200 when I started, and my body fat at that weight was somewhere around 20%- so my lean body mass was around 160 =(200*(1-.2)). So 10% body fat on top of that would be roughly 178 =(160/.9)
    So my goal weight is in the 175-180 range assuming I don't put on or lose muscle in the process. I was at 191 this morning, and it looks like there's enough fat for me to get down a good bit further.
    As a side note, if you want to use a similar approach, women naturally are going to have higher body fat percentages, so don't try to get too much below the 20% range.


    ^^^^This, body fat percentage is a lot more important than what you weigh. I currently am at a healthy weigh but my BF is still over 30%. I had it checked in a BodPod and the person who administered the test was able to give me a lot of really useful information. I told her I would like to get down to 22% BF which is considered "Fit" or "Lean" She was able to tell me if I can put on 5 pounds of muscle you need to weigh _____ to be at 22%. She gave me several scenarios. And I asked her if I do not put on any muscle what would I need to be at. She told me the number and then said "You will get a lot of people telling you that you are too skinny if you get down to that weight." So it really is about lean body mass vs. fat. Shared that information with my trainer and I now lift 3 days a week and do cardio four days a week. Bottom line, if your health is the main reason for your pursuit, focus on BF %
  • rnprincess
    rnprincess Posts: 103 Member
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    Hi there - I started my weight loss journey at 255 lbs. I am currently 241 pounds and 5'7. So BMI says I should be 159 lbs at most. I know my body MUCH better than a crude assessment tool, so I set my goal weight at 185 lbs. To a lot of people that will seem incredibly high, but I know I will look and feel my best at that weight, and it is a reasonable, realistic goal. I've been over 200 lbs since I graduated high school, and I remember what 200 lbs looked like - I was not fat. I think when making goals, you have to take so much more into consideration than BMI, or any other single factor for that matter. I know it sounds cliche but when you feel it, you will know it's the right weight.

    On another note, congratulations on your weight loss to date - and do whatever makes you feel the healthiest - don't worry about what other people say (or what BMI says).

    This is so true. The BMI charts are a great starting point but variables need to be factored in, muscle mass, health. My current goal will leave me in the overweight category. But at 5'6, and 49 I have not been under 200 pounds since I was 15 years old. So I based my goal on what I and my doctor feel are suitable for me. As I get closer to my goal I will re-evaluate.
    Best wishes on your success so far!
  • bumblebums
    bumblebums Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Thank you for the comments...

    I agree, I am not stuck on a number and I also agree with the comments that people aren't used to what I look like now. I definitely have an athletic build. I am more stocky than anything. So, I know I have quite a bit to lose.

    I started this to get my blood pressure down. It is not working like I had hoped. The bp is still considered high especially since I am on 2 different meds for it. I do feel better.

    People say stuff like "don't get too skinny" just to make conversation because they can't think of anything more intelligent to say. I wouldn't talk to people about weight goals, but instead mention that you are doing this for better health and that you are not quite where you would like to be. Which is both true--according to what you say above--and unassailable as far as goals go.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    my goal weight is liquid.

    i set myself an original goal weight that was at the top of the healthy BMI weight range.
    Then when I got there, I switched to focusing on my body fat - which meant my weight would still go down, but my size would change far more.
    Other people will always say these things. They are so used to people not following through on weight lsos and fitness, they just kinda dont know what to say.

    that should be the least of the things you worry about. Worrying isnt fun. Celebrating and discovering are.

    Tell them that youre excited they can see your progress and that from here on out its not about weighing less, but about being stronger.

    they should be able to appreciate that without being concerned.

    *im sorry if any of this message is offensive.
  • AngelaH10
    AngelaH10 Posts: 71 Member
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    You are getting healthy and there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to get down to 135 lbs! Keep at it girl!! :)
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
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    If someone asks my goal weight and I do tell them, they are saying I shouldn't go that low because I am going to be too skinny. I know this is not true. But I am definitely getting a lot of comments.

    My advice is not to worry about other people making these comments. Your goal weight is a healthy one.

    Once you approach your goal however, perhaps body fat % would be a better metric to track than BMI. Doing more strength exercise will help protect more of your muscle mass as you are losing weight.

    Congratulations on your great progress so far!

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