a girl i know lost about 100lbs

13

Replies

  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
    Just wanted to add some people are all or nothing type of people & some people like a balance doesn't mean she is wrong that's just her personality so it seems :)
  • bpotts44
    bpotts44 Posts: 1,066 Member
    I would be quite hurt if I was that girl, and reading this post. Just saying...
    then you're too sensitive.

    I don't think that's too sensitive. I think you are too prone to make something public business that isn't. She isn't hurting anyone. She is making sacrifices to pursue a personal goal. I don't see the big deal. If that lifestyle isn't for you then fine, but why publicize her business and then say she (or anyone) would be too sensitive if they were upset to read about it? I all the time turn away meals out due to business interactions. The only ones I accept are when I'm making the pitch, but when someone is pitching me I turn down all the time. Its about pursuing the goal I want and I would be a little miffed if someone at work who observed posted on here that I was crazy for acting like that.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    One more thought, a lot of people say, "it's not worth it to go through that", and they always stay a little fat. It's ok. It's a choice. I don't think it's always either or, but usually, in my view. Sometimes, there is a happy medium though where you gain control of your eating, lose a little weight, maintain your social life and are happy with that choice. Others really want to go after it. They are different choices. It's her life.

    This is like people that make work their life. I work with people that are sending emails at midnight. To me, it's such a waste of your life. But, to them, they love it and thrive on it, and most are very successful because they live and breathe their work. I think it is so absurd that I want to punch them. But, it's their life, not mine. Their entire social life and all their friends are all work people. they do nothing outside of work. What you're saying is very similar.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    I agree with the OP. You have to balance. Congrats to your friend, 100lbs - WOW, but what happens when she's tired of living this way and wants to go back to her "old self"? She may be to the point where she's ok with this life, but there will come a time when she wants a change.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    I agree with the OP. You have to balance. Congrats to your friend, 100lbs - WOW, but what happens when she's tired of living this way and wants to go back to her "old self"? She may be to the point where she's ok with this life, but there will come a time when she wants a change.

    "What if" games are dangerous. It doesn't matter. If she wants to change later, she'll change. Sometimes, to achieve something, you have to sacrifice other things. "What if" she chooses to do this for the rest of her life and makes health and wellness her new career?
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    OP sounds a little jealous? I don't understand why you even care? I won't lie that it makes me mad that people have the assumption that they can lose "x" amount of weight and then go back to their old habits.

    Have you ever considered the fact that she is happy? Or That she is successful Because she makes those choices? You don't get that body for free. And I personally would give up that crap to have the body I want. ;)
  • LuckyStarrGal
    LuckyStarrGal Posts: 66 Member
    I would tell her that you can eat out, just moderation and be familiar with place before you go so you know exactly what to order. Most resturants will accomidate to your diet. You just have to ask, you are the customer and deserve to know what you are eating! Sounds like the needs someone to help her with this, be HER GUIDE!
  • sickabinfat
    sickabinfat Posts: 2
    ive been that girl, i lost alot of weight and got down to my goal but it was so so so difficult to maintain that weight i literally had to give up everything i enjoyed, alcahol, meals out etc and became so miserable with it, i dediced that i just wasnt meant to be that thin and set myself a target weight of about a stone more which was much more achievable and i could live my life aswell! she will realise that at some point and put the weight back on
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    I bet if you were to ask her if she's happy with the way she is living, she'd say yes.

    That's what matters. She looks great, feels great, and she's very likely happy or she wouldn't be working so hard to stay the way she is. If she wasn't happy, she'd cheat. Nobody would be that disciplined if she didn't have a sense of pride in her accomplishments. That pride in oneself is very much worth it.

    Now for you, I'm very glad that you're working on physical self-improvement. But with the joy part, do what makes you happy, and don't make assumptions that someone who lives differently isn't happy.
  • marycmeadows
    marycmeadows Posts: 1,691 Member
    I have lost over 100lbs through eating right and exercising. BUT I do not deprive myself. I cheat when I want to. I go to family functions and eat what I want. I work out but I found stuff I like doing and after working with a trainer for a short time i'm on my own. I run with a group right now because I like the long group runs. ((I don't work out 2 hours a day either)). If i want to go out I do and I eat what I want (80/20 rule). however, if that's what it takes for her to maintain, then she has to do it. though I think it sounds like a pretty boring life.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    wow i wake up to 3 pages of bashing.
    let me set some things straight.
    i cut out my social life for 2 weeks to get started. but guess what? i went to a friends last night and we had a healthy snack!
    i just needed to get in the zone for the beginning.

    also this girl is an aquaitance. i've hungout with her numerous times and know all her best friends. her friends have been supportive. but yes, good for her if this is her lifestyle.

    third. in no way was i judging. i was sharing her journey with others and saying i feel like it wasn't living. i was looking to see if others agreed and or if maybe this is normal for mass amounts of weight loss. but i'm sure you can al agree, all the "HOW DARE YOU JUDGE HER" posts are not disagreements, YOU are now judging me.

    i'm extremely proud of her, i've just seen her go from social and enjoying being around her friends to barely talking to anyone. come one people, eating alone in your car is a little extreme.

    she looks amazing, and i'm jealous of her will power. she was talking to me about all this because I wanted to start MY weight loss journey. but to be honest, when she told me all this (and more) it put me OFF of wanting to lose weight. it made me feel like "if that would be my life, then i don't think i could do it"

    also, i'm completely anonymous on here. none of my friends or family know i post on here. so this is MY place to vent openly and secretively so i DON'T hurt anyone's feelings.
    if i can't talking about people i know in my life on an anonymous website, then where can i vent? if i did it to friends(which i don't) i'd be called a two-faced *****.


    anyway, forget about this thread. these were not my intentions. i'm not a judgemental person. i just wanted to share something with everyone to let people know that you don't have to completely shut yourself off from everyone to lose the weight. life is about having fun.

    and YES, there is different fun for everyone, but i personally feel like she isn't enjoying herself. and you guys haven't heard the whole conversation, so please don't assume you know how she feels or what she said.
  • LEC1978
    LEC1978 Posts: 7 Member
    i find it amazing how people are lecturing me when i've said YES it works for her and YES she looks amazing, but her weightloss path wouldnt be my choice.

    If living that way woudln't be your choice then don't make those choices for yourself. To each their own.
  • McChubbyruewho
    McChubbyruewho Posts: 194
    Seems to me like she has chosen this life, if it makes her unhappy she would probably go back to her old life, I on the other hand live kinda a hermits life so all she does or rather doesnt do doesnt seem odd to me, I like time to myself
  • EstiloPanama
    EstiloPanama Posts: 245
    It does sound sad. It doesn't sound like she's losing weight for herself, but for another motive. You have to learn to be 'normal' when getting in shape, because if you act all reclusive and weird, you're focusing more on the negative aspects...on the 'dieting' aspects..it's more of a temporary thing than a lifestyle change. A lifestyle change involves integrating your life with food and exercise...not cutting out large portions of a healthy social life to get 'thin'. That's pretty ridiculous and never lasts long.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    I honestly never thought such a simple thread would be so controversial.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    I didn't have 100 pounds to lose, but I have lost 31 (pound a week). And I didn't cut out anything, and certainly didn't sulk in my car drinking protein shakes.

    I want to lose weight and keep it off the rest of my life.

    I'm not skipping desert.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Honestly, I'm with you, OP. Couldn't do it and don't understand why other people would do it. Can't do anything to change them, but it would still baffle me.

    (And this MFP. Most things wind up controversial. Go with the flow - it actually becomes pretty entertaining after a while.)
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    I didn't have 100 pounds to lose, but I have lost 31 (pound a week). And I didn't cut out anything, and certainly didn't sulk in my car drinking protein shakes.

    I want to lose weight and keep it off the rest of my life.

    I'm not skipping desert.
    hahahaha no kidding, if i want cake, i'll have my damn cake. (within reason...)
  • sjbuescher
    sjbuescher Posts: 45 Member
    It became controversial because you did word it in a pretty negative way. Saying something like,

    "A girl I know lost 100 lbs by focusing almost 100% of her time on exercise and eating, going so far as to drink her protein shakes in her car at work functions instead of eating the food there. I'm happy that she found something that worked for her - but it would personally be too extreme for me. Anyone else really alter their social lifestyle for diet and weight loss?"

    is very different than

    "She's missing out on life." It's pretty judgmental and petty to judge someone's richness of life on your own expectations. You didn't pose a question asking others how they changed their live for their diet and weight loss efforts - you just judged her quality of life based on your own preference.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    Honestly, I'm with you, OP. Couldn't do it and don't understand why other people would do it. Can't do anything to change them, but it would still baffle me.

    (And this MFP. Most things wind up controversial. Go with the flow - it actually becomes pretty entertaining after a while.)
    LOL i've noticed.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    It became controversial because you did word it in a pretty negative way. Saying something like,

    "A girl I know lost 100 lbs by focusing almost 100% of her time on exercise and eating, going so far as to drink her protein shakes in her car at work functions instead of eating the food there. I'm happy that she found something that worked for her - but it would personally be too extreme for me. Anyone else really alter their social lifestyle for diet and weight loss?"

    is very different than

    "She's missing out on life." It's pretty judgmental and petty to judge someone's richness of life on your own expectations. You didn't pose a question asking others how they changed their live for their diet and weight loss efforts - you just judged her quality of life based on your own preference.

    i'm sorry you saw it that way, i personally didn't and still don't find what i said judgemental.
    that's just me though, and that's my opinion.
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
    Maybe she feels like her old friends have bad habits or are inadvertently sabotaging her. If so, it takes time to make new friends. Plus, as you get older, your goals and how you have fun sometimes changes. Maybe she's just in the middle of that. Unless she tells you she's unhappy, I wouldn't be sad for her if I were you.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    Maybe she feels like her old friends have bad habits or are inadvertently sabotaging her. If so, it takes time to make new friends. Plus, as you get older, your goals and how you have fun sometimes changes. Maybe she's just in the middle of that. Unless she tells you she's unhappy, I wouldn't be sad for her if I were you.
    i never once said i was sad for her, i found it sad that she has to eat alone in her car while others are enjoying dinner.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Maybe she'll get to where she's comfortable and start going out more, maybe at the moment she doesn't feel its worth it. Everyone does things others think is weird to have the body and life they want to achieve....I've been to conferences where lunch was provided and taken my own, I've blown off the pub to go to the gym many a time.

    Some people will ease in to something, and others will go all out at it. You might get slower or quicker results doing it one way or the other, its upto you. You have to do what works and what you find sustainable. She may feel its the first time she's NOT missing out on life because she's fitter and healthier and happier with herself.

    You (OP) don't need to worry about it and you shouldn't let it put you off becoming fitter yourself....do it your way. Different strokes and all that :)
  • jr1985
    jr1985 Posts: 1,033 Member
    I agree...I personally would rather always be 10lbs heavier than my ideal weight (Can't wait until I am only 10lbs from my goal weight!) then NEVER being able to enjoy myself, or the food I'm eating.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    Maybe she'll get to where she's comfortable and start going out more, maybe at the moment she doesn't feel its worth it. Everyone does things others think is weird to have the body and life they want to achieve....I've been to conferences where lunch was provided and taken my own, I've blown off the pub to go to the gym many a time.

    Some people will ease in to something, and others will go all out at it. You might get slower or quicker results doing it one way or the other, its upto you. You have to do what works and what you find sustainable. She may feel its the first time she's NOT missing out on life because she's fitter and healthier and happier with herself.

    You (OP) don't need to worry about it and you shouldn't let it put you off becoming fitter yourself....do it your way. Different strokes and all that :)

    thank you.
    like i said, when she told me her story, it scared me off of trying to lose my weight.
    but i decided i'm gonna do it the way i see will fit my lifestyle.

    i just hope she is truly happy. like i said, she looks great.
  • summer8it
    summer8it Posts: 433 Member
    The girl you've described is behaving like someone in recovery from an addiction, and yes, there are people who are food addicts.

    If she had been an alcoholic, and was now avoiding parties where people were drinking and spending her evenings going to AA meetings, would that seem so strange? Of course, you would want her to get to a point where she was confident enough in her recovery to start going to parties again, but would you be sad for her, or happy that she was overcoming her addiction?

    We all know that it's possible to lose weight while living a normal life and enjoying the occasional treat, but for someone with a food addiction or binge eating disorder, it's going to be a very different road than that walked by someone who just needs to eat more salads and fewer cheeseburgers.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    The girl you've described is behaving like someone in recovery from an addiction, and yes, there are people who are food addicts.

    If she had been an alcoholic, and was now avoiding parties where people were drinking and spending her evenings going to AA meetings, would that seem so strange? Of course, you would want her to get to a point where she was confident enough in her recovery to start going to parties again, but would you be sad for her, or happy that she was overcoming her addiction?

    We all know that it's possible to lose weight while living a normal life and enjoying the occasional treat, but for someone with a food addiction or binge eating disorder, it's going to be a very different road than that walked by someone who just needs to eat more salads and fewer cheeseburgers.
    yeah, i understand. that is a good point.
    if i ever lose my weight, first thing i'll be doing it showing myself off more. but that's just me.
    i hope she's happy though, and i've said this numerous times.
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
    Would I personally want to live that way? No. But you shouldn't let what she chooses to do bother you. Even though it sounds like a miserable existence, it's not your existence.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    Would I personally want to live that way? No. But you shouldn't let what she chooses to do bother you. Even though it sounds like a miserable existence, it's not your existence.
    i believe we've established this with the last 30-40 posts lol

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