Your support/relationship

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  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
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    He's my biggest support - or my biggest enabler... depending on the day.
    LOL
  • JinxRita
    JinxRita Posts: 191 Member
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    My boyfriend is very supportive, for which I'm very thankful! We're both trying to lose weight and get healthy, for ourselves, and for each other. He sets up work out plans for me, and I encourage him to exercise. When we're together (currently doing an LDR again) we try to eat healthy together. I couldn't imagine not having his support in this!
  • Mandybean88
    Mandybean88 Posts: 36
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    My boyfriend has been great... he is already is great shape, but doing all my workouts with me. When I lag he tells don't stop! keep going! but manages to do so without me wanting to punch him in the face ;) at first, he was a little judgy with my food choices ... but I've made it clear I want to eat healthily and get fit, not live off lettuce and water... yes I will occasionally say 'I'm hungry, I'm going to eat a <whatever>' He's being much more supportive now.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    My boyfriend doesn't respect my choices

    Just...break...up....

    Seriously.

    First - you can't change someone else. They have to want to change and they have to do it for them..not for you.

    Second - if you find yourself broadcasting your personal issues to a bunch of strangers on the internet instead of continuing to try to talk to him....then you might as well call it quits. Obviously, you can't make things work without public help and if he ever finds out, I bet he'll be super pissed and might just break up with you.

    Last - Unless your statement quoted is an exaggeration, if someone isn't respecting you - that's kind of a red flag.

    So...just break up and spend the next year or two single, focusing on your life, goals, and getting more secure and stable with yourself :smile:
  • CKJ118
    CKJ118 Posts: 54
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    My wife and I both are doing this. It's a "we're doing this for us because we're kinda awesome and wanna be around longer together" type thing.

    If your boyfriend isn't supporting you, then you don't have to worry about doing this for him... just do it for you. If he doesn't wanna stick around for the ride with a healthier, happier girlfriend, that's his loss.

    Besides, at the end of the day, it boils down to you making yourself more awesome... for YOU, not him.

    I totally agree with this because you have to do it for you and not anyone else. You are worth it!
  • bexxgirl
    bexxgirl Posts: 260 Member
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    My husband is nothing but pure awesomeness! He has been 110% supportive of everything I have wanted to do. He has spent hundreds of dollars buying me equipment, had tried every new food I have made, and is always cheering me on. I even got him to run with me :) I am a VERY lucky girl.

    ETA: He does not do it with me, but he eats what I make and loves it but he is also a big time junk food junkie.

    This is exactly the same as my fiance. Loves trying all the new foods that I cook - gets right into it. He does his own lunches at work, so those are the times he eats fast food or whatever. I still make and eat yum food - just try to make it fit my macros.

    He's amazing. If I seem to be falling off the wagon for a time, he says nothing, but when I'm on track, raring along and exercising and feeling good, he's always there with the positive affirmation.

    What a guy!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    His goals and my goals are totally different. He eats different and treats his body different. And to be honest since his priorities aren't quite aligned I've had to change my eating habits a bit to work around our dinners. But I'd not change that.

    As far as being "supportive" I really don't require that support. If he ever wanted to change his ways of eating and work out more, I'd be totally on board.

    What you need to realize is what you are doing is for YOU. Don't ever do it for anybody else.
  • DamnImASexyBitch
    DamnImASexyBitch Posts: 740 Member
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    My husband isn't unsupportive. He congratulations me on my hard work and determination. However sometimes I feel he is sabotaging by bringing in items to the home that test me. I have strong will though so I don't give in. I don't want to change him though. If he chose to eat better that would be ideal, but when he is ready he will. Just like when I was ready I did.
  • atrebor18
    atrebor18 Posts: 235 Member
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    I feel pretty blessed to have my bf! He'll go to the gym with me and even went to my yoga class! He isn't nearly as motivated as me to make major changes but he is supportive. He will eat the healthy food I make but if no one (i.e me or his mom) cooks anything then he'll just eat cereal all day long. One of our favorite activities is hiking and backpacking so he is more than happy to see me in shape for our next adventure and he always tells me I'm pretty. =D
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
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    My husband and I have been together for 14 years now and he has seen me go from 120 to 264... He has seen my health decline over the last 6 years and was really worried (me too!) about my health. When I first started he was resistant to change but I kept at it and he has come around after Ive dropped 65lbs :)

    It was not an over night thing for us, I have gone from fad diet to fad diet trying to figure out what to do. In the long run I have moved to a more whole foods lifestyle and eat better then I ever have! He wants kids and I have already told him that I want the weight under control for both of us before I bring kids into this world. I guess for us Its more of a goal to be healthy and happy together then spend our life together sick :)
  • Jongfaith
    Jongfaith Posts: 195
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    I'm going this alone although I try to encourage him to join me at the gym he declines every day. He has dropped some weight because I am cooking healthier but sometimes he makes himself a giant meal full of fat and white bread while I eat veggies and low fat protein. I always am entertained by the replies saying just break up as if a complex relationship can be summed up in a simple question of one issue.
    You will know when or if it is time to let the relationship go and it won't be just one issue that brings that about. Good luck!
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    Well, not in a relationship right now, but a year ago when I bought some little dumbbells and put on a Jillian dvd he wasn't exactly happy and asked me to stick with my yoga. Very sweetly he asked that I not get arms like hers, he loved my body as it was. And no, he was not threatened, he has a fantastic body, lots of luck, inherited as he doesn't do much more than skateboard and work on the house...it's just his preference.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    My husband is supportive of me doing what I want and what brings me happiness.

    And I am supportive of him making his own choices.

    We do not make the same choices in terms of food and fitness. We make our own choices. I don't need him to do anything or to change in order for me to meet the goals that I want to in my health, nutrition, or fitness.

    He enjoys the rewards of my fit body as well, so he would have no reason to criticize my pursuit of fitness.
  • MetSox129
    MetSox129 Posts: 69 Member
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    i've been on MFP for a longgggg time, and my new gf has been on the site before. when she found out i was on, she decided to start up again, so i made a new account to start fresh with her so we can track progress together. i've been teaching her some things in the kitchen since i'm on my 2nd year of this and picked up a lot along the way (down 70 pounds so far). she's awesome when it comes to support
  • RobfromLakewood
    RobfromLakewood Posts: 684
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    I've worked out hard and varied, I'm cut down (but hardly eliminated) fast food and an overall increase in more nutritional food and keeping on target for the most part when it comes to calories. I've lost 50+ pounds and the number one factor is that my wife and I are in on this together. Look up support in the dictionary, there should be her picture. She's the BEST!
  • Keeshamedina96
    Keeshamedina96 Posts: 15 Member
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    My fiance is supportive, but not on board. We HAVE been sticking pretty closely to the "paleo" diet (lean meat, fish, nuts, fruits veggies) and cheat a little bit with rice, dairy (CHEESE mmm!), and cereal. We also have fast food maybe once a week. So I'll give him that at least, he is on board about the eating aspect. But there's no way I'm gettng him to the gym or to do a workout dvd with me. And I feel like that's okay, just because I decided to make a change doesn't mean he has to do the same. You can't expect somebody to be inspired/motivated just because you are, that comes from within. Think about it, you are going to have to be responsible for controlling your habits in a lot of situations, work, potlucks, happy hour, birthday dinners, holidays, AND in your relationship. If you feel the need to blame your SO for not succeeding, maybe you're not in the right headspace.
  • ylor89
    ylor89 Posts: 105 Member
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    My husband is very supportive, but he's not changing his habits at all. At first, it was really difficult having to cook two separate meals almost...and watching him eat Oreos and M&Ms... But willpower is so important! :wink:

    I love my husband, and I also recognize that I can't change him. The only person I can change is myself, and maybe he'll see how great I'm feeling and he'll join in! But that's his decision. I'm not going to "mother" him. We did have a conversation about his eating habits though and my concerns for his health. And we've successfully limited the amount of cookies we have in our house! Yay!!!

    He sees that getting to a healthy weight is important to me, and I see that right now in his life, it's not his top priority. And that's okay too. Now, if he were being negative and putting me down...that's another story.

    I do feel like I sometimes go at it alone, and that's tougher on some days. Especially when I see people out and about running on the trails or taking walks together. But having a good conversation with my husband helps me not feel so alone. He's going to get a bike since he loves biking, and I'll run next to him. I think if your relationship is really important to you, you'll find ways to compromise and make it work. My husband and I are opposites on so many levels, and I can't believe we've been together for this long... :tongue:

    Good luck! Wishing you the best!
  • Fittreelol
    Fittreelol Posts: 2,535 Member
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    My bf is incredibly supportive, but we are not losing weight together. He wants to lose weight, but just isn't to the point where it's a priority for him to actually do so yet. I'm the family cook, so he eats whatever I make (and tells me it's delicious.) He also tells me how incredibly buff I look after ever workout (just to joke around/ego boost.) He often mentions how proud he is of my dedication to eating healthfully, and lifting consistently. He would occasionally bring me a treat home after work, but since I decided to buckle down on food choices again I've asked him to stop and he's complied. Yes he is pretty much awesome. =)
  • mkcmurphy
    mkcmurphy Posts: 437 Member
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    DH more tolerant than supportive; MFP has become the place where I can get ideas or discuss for direct support.
  • PrinnyMartel
    PrinnyMartel Posts: 55 Member
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    My boyfriend is very supportive, but that might just be because he wants to be a fitness teacher and he's using me as his guinea pig. :laugh: He already eats pretty clean, and we don't really do things like work out together because he is training for a triathlon in March, and I can barely jog 1 mile without collapsing.

    He can be a little snooty about it, though. Coming home and talking about my 1 mile nonstop run just to hear "Psh, I did 4 this morning." can be pretty discouraging. He used to be just as out of shape as I was back in the day, and I guess he has a hard time remembering what it was like. :grumble: That being said, he does things like cooking, helping me make workout plans and trying to talk me out of going for that large pizza.

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