What does your spouse or significant other think?

2

Replies

  • mg720
    mg720 Posts: 212 Member
    First, i started this journey and continue this journey FOR ME and no one else. I met my husband when I was overweight and through out our relationship together I put on more and more weight and eventually reached me all time high (around 208-210 pounds) my husband (then boyfriend) still looked at me and told me he loved me and i was beautiful.

    He was very supportive through out the journey and he too lost weight (he was diagnosed with diabetes and that is one of the reasons we started the journey to begin with) as time passed i started to feel great and was so motivated by myself that i continued and continued and set goals, my husband slowed down and was not as "into it" as i was but he still supported me and loved seeing me reach my goals and feel great about myself.

    now that I have reached my goal (i have been able to maintain goal weight since this past summer) he sometimes will throw comments my way such as "come on Magen one bad meal wont kill you" or "you mean you really wont have a little piece of cake with me", it sometimes upsets me because i truthfully do not feel as though i am missing out and i feel like he does not understand that. he for the most part is used to my healthy lifestyle by now but i guess he cant always relate (he laughs a little when i use my food scale when packing my lunch for work).

    over all my weight loss has not really changed my relationship though. He was loved me then at over 200 pounds and loves me now at 123.
  • My boyfriend likes to exercise and eat healthy, so when he found out that I wanted to become healthier and shed off some weight, he was supportive all the way. He's basically my gym partner and he helps me be wise about what foods I'm consuming. I couldn't have asked for a better supporter, really. And he's one of the reasons why I want to exercise and improve my health, so he's also a motivator!
  • x_pix_x
    x_pix_x Posts: 21
    My husband is awesome, he's always been very loving whatever my size but be is happy I'm counting calories as I'm actually eating more haha! He doesn't have any weight to lose but he has downloaded the app and is doing tracking and counting with me but with his stats set at maintenance. He also helps me with any workouts I want to do and is going to show me how to lift properly etc as I've never really done weights before. I feel very lucky to be fair.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    I don't have one, woo hoo! My ex was a drag, though. Sometimes he was helpful but not in a constructive way. He would be like "you can't have that, you're trying to lose weight, remember?" but then other times he just wouldn't care and wouldn't say anything. Either way, it wasn't encouraging. I got tired of it. He also would just roll his eyes and complain if I said I didn't want to go out to eat because I didn't have many calories just because he didn't want to eat what I was going to cook or whatever. Got really annoying. But we broke up (for other reasons) and I don't have to deal with anyone anymore, haha! :happy:

    Ultimately I'd love to find a guy who's healthy, works out, and we can do it together... but hopefully by that point I will be maintaining and it will just be a healthy lifestyle and not so much "trying to lose weight". That's my dream man.
  • Alsison
    Alsison Posts: 651 Member
    He thinks it's funny to wave a chips ahoy cookie in front of my face while I'm in front of the computer on MFP trying to log in my calories. Jokes on him though, since chips ahoy is NOT on my cheat worthy list. He will never find out what is.


    It's like a spy movie, I have to be 2 steps ahead of each move he might make with snack and meal bars in my purse and coat, and stashed in secret spots in both cars. I have to time my shakes to drink them while I prepare meals to avoid temptation by smell, and sometimes have to supply an Oscar worthy performance at restaurants pretending to order a regular meal, but really calculating in my head the calories or just choosing my moment to order AFTER his menu's been taken away so he doesn't catch on I chose one of the easily identifiable "lite choices" that most restaurants have nowadays.

    It's not that he doesn't support my diet it's that he doesn't support THIS diet I chose this time because he saw another diet work for me and it allowed plenty of indulgent foods which meant we could eat out a lot and eat the same foods. Also he is such a suspicious person that he is wary of the shakes having some kind of weight loss drug in them, but I read the label and they don't, they are just an easy way to get a pre measured amount of calories and enough fiber to stay full for awhile. I chose this diet over the other one because this one only requires cooking maybe once per day maybe not at all on days we go out, and I need it to be THAT easy this time. Weekends are the only time his shenanigans become an issue because we are together all day then, and his way of loving is giving being generous and food is part of that. He can't eat something amazing without immediately wanting to share it with me, me too though, so I get it.

    I so get this!!
  • JessWolf1002
    JessWolf1002 Posts: 82 Member
    My husband is amazingly supportive! He's not over weight, but he does have a little fluffiness around the middle so he will work out with me any time I ask :-). He doesn't eat as restrictive as I do, which is hard, but he works really hard and deserves to reward himself. He's in the Army so he's at work 12+ hours a day so I try to make him his favorite meals when I can, even if that means I don't eat any of it because its high in fat, sugar or whatever. He has loved me when I was skinny, fat, and everywhere in between and has never once said anything negative to me or about me regarding my weight. He truly is an amazing husband and u could not do this without his support.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    With both of us working on it together, it has been one of the best things for us...
  • Amazigh926
    Amazigh926 Posts: 33 Member
    My husband met me when I was fatter (I've lost 70 lbs. so far) and doesn't care how fat or thin I am/get. He will eat what I cook but he is of no support. I'm on my own in this battle/journey and it is taxing, emotionally.
  • I am doing this for me...Not my husband.... I am pretty sure he will love it...
  • My fella knew me when I was a size 12 but started dating me when I was at my heaviest. He has been super supportive. I thought it was because he wanted me back to the size 12 he met me at, but when I finally aired my fears, he stated that it was supportive because weight loss would make ME happy and would help me gain some of the confidence I had lost over the years.

    Honestly couldn't ask for a better cheerleader in my corner than my other half :)
  • triathlete5301
    triathlete5301 Posts: 182 Member
    My fiance has been the most supportive ever. He has always told me I am beautiful no matter what, but he supports me in the fact that I want to lose weight for me.
    I think the biggest thing is communication of why you are doing it and what you need.
  • Catman_Jellytot
    Catman_Jellytot Posts: 40 Member
    My boyfriend is one of those people who eats like a horse and still stays skinny, so he doesn't have to lose weight, but he has been supportive.

    We've been together for nearly 5 years, so he's seen my weight go up and down (and up again...) and he's said that he loves me and tells me that I am beautiflu no matter what, but he knows that I want to lose weight for myself and supports me, and tells me how well I am doing.

    It's been a lot about willpower with me, though. He eats a lot of sweet things and big meals, so I have to restrain myself to not eat the same thing he does.

    I know he'll love me whether I am 289,189 or 140 lbs, so I'm mostly doing this to feel better about myself.
  • very supportive :) I am losing weight and he is in the process of bulking so its and interesting balance- but he sees my discipline and tells me he can see the commitment when i am making myself meals separate from him to hit my macros. (he needs to eat ALOT more calories than I do so i have gotten pretty creative). Whenever I am feeling a little down he is there to remind me how well i have done. He helps me get excited about exercising again and was there the whole time when i was recovering from my surgery on my Achilles and through my rehab. I married an amazing man :)
  • Before, my unhealthy habits were effecting my relationship in a negative way.. I could feel that my SO wasn't as attracted to me because I let myself go.. And he's used to hearing me say "I'm going to stick with it this time".. Obviously, I would love to look great for him, but I feel that me reaching my goals is going to benefit everything in my life, including my relationship!
  • rainghirl
    rainghirl Posts: 203 Member
    I'm doing this for me, as I wasn't feeling very happy being heavier than usual. Oh and also, I'm cheap, I didn't want to have to buy new clothes in a bigger size :wink:

    My partner has been very supportive throughout, though sometimes his well intentioned advice has earned him a 2 finger salute when I've just been fed up with eating less than usual and fancied a chocolate, apart from that he's been good about what he cooks for me and has been very good at motivating me when I've felt down about it and reminding me that I have been losing weight and to keep at it. He's enjoyed that we go for lots of walks on the weekend, and has been pretty good really. Nothing has really changed in our relationship though. I'm on maintenance calories now, and that's loads better - I feel like I can eat normally again.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    He thinks I look pretty good naked.
  • VegKellyRN
    VegKellyRN Posts: 23 Member
    My boyfriend is the reason I got into fitness last year. I always hated the way I looked but never knew what to do to fix it. He gave me the tools and knowledge and now we've gotten closer because of it. I am the number one reason I'm doing this...for ME. But hearing him say he's proud of me is priceless :)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I don't have one, woo hoo! My ex was a drag, though. Sometimes he was helpful but not in a constructive way. He would be like "you can't have that, you're trying to lose weight, remember?" but then other times he just wouldn't care and wouldn't say anything. Either way, it wasn't encouraging. I got tired of it. He also would just roll his eyes and complain if I said I didn't want to go out to eat because I didn't have many calories just because he didn't want to eat what I was going to cook or whatever. Got really annoying. But we broke up (for other reasons) and I don't have to deal with anyone anymore, haha! :happy:

    Ultimately I'd love to find a guy who's healthy, works out, and we can do it together... but hopefully by that point I will be maintaining and it will just be a healthy lifestyle and not so much "trying to lose weight". That's my dream man.
    Ew I would hate it if someone told me I can't eat something because of my diet. I think you made the right choice he didn't sound silly or funny about it at all, just degrading and mean and kind of selfish. In the future though, you might not want to subject your new man to your eating style because each person learns on their own and for themselves what is good for them and decides in their own time when it's right to make changes. Also not the same things work the same for everyone so good luck with your weight loss and happy hunting or waiting for a new guy, he'll find you, just keep being yourself and only the good matches for you will come your way.
  • Seaglass1123
    Seaglass1123 Posts: 500 Member
    My husband is very supportive and is as excited about my reaching goal weight as I was. He has been there every step of the way and can't keep his hands off my much smaller butt!

    This. But at first I think it was annoying to him. I wasn't buying crap food any more & was always asking him to go for walks. But I remember a friend telling me once he saw results he would come around and sure enough he did and he has been amazing. For Christmas one of my gifts came with a trophy for being the weight loss champion lol and with that a weekend away in New Hampshire with a 1/2 day at the spa, sleigh ride, tubing, dinner at a fav place and much more. Oh and $200 for new clothes!!!!
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    My boyfriend won't even eat the healthy food I cook and makes no effort to support me directly.
    All he says is
    "Huh. Good for you."

    My wife is the same, except she's not as supportive.

    Yeah. I look really different and act different....no comment. Nothing. Yes it bothers me, because part of the reason I want to get healthy is so she will be proud of me. I know she has her own weight and health issues...I try not to dwell on it, and support her as best I can. Frustrated.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    My wife is incredibly supportive. She pushes at the times I need a little push and she backs off at times like now when I'm bulking. As for the benefits of doing this? Our relationship has never been better and the sex is awesome!
  • KimberlyDCZ
    KimberlyDCZ Posts: 525 Member
    My guy signed up here just 5 days after me. He has been very supportive and is harder on himself than I am. There are times when he says "we can't eat that" or "we need to workout" and if he has anything to say when I get off track, it's always in an encouraging manner. I'm doing this for me, but I do notice that he's more attracted to thinner women so that gives me a little motivation in a different way. We have splurge days occasionally where we eat something we normally wouldn't and although we naturally make healthier choices now, I tend to splurge on special occasions. Last night, we celebrated our 1 yr first date anniversary at a Japanese Steakhouse. Of course we burned some of that off later :blushing: but we're back on track today!
  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
    My husband is unsupportive in the extreme. He is morbidly obese (more than 100 lbs overweight), a workaholic, and does absolute zero things physically. i am not exaggerating. He works from home, and then spends the evening in an easy chair, browsing on the computer. He complains of backache et al, yet will not even take a walk. I am doing this for me. And it is an enormous struggle.
  • My husband likes my confidence, but he doesn't want me to lose too much weight, so it is hard
  • greenfalls107
    greenfalls107 Posts: 87 Member
    My husband is very supportive, even when life gets too stressful to follow my food plan as I should. When my daughter was in the hospital for a week, he completely understood and supported the fact my weight loss adventure had to go on pause. I have lost 17lbs on WW, and found it too expensive. So, I invested in a kitchen scale, and a fitbit zip, which is about 4 months of WW. But no more monthly fees. :)
  • NaeNaeJanae
    NaeNaeJanae Posts: 261 Member
    My guys is supportive, but has no desire to do it too. No problem, you can't force someone to do what they don't want. Since I cook, he gets to eat healthy too. It's hard sometimes, because he does want junk sometime, which makes it harder to resist. But it's all good. :)
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    My husband is very supportive and is as excited about my reaching goal weight as I was. He has been there every step of the way and can't keep his hands off my much smaller butt!

    This. But at first I think it was annoying to him. I wasn't buying crap food any more & was always asking him to go for walks. But I remember a friend telling me once he saw results he would come around and sure enough he did and he has been amazing. For Christmas one of my gifts came with a trophy for being the weight loss champion lol and with that a weekend away in New Hampshire with a 1/2 day at the spa, sleigh ride, tubing, dinner at a fav place and much more. Oh and $200 for new clothes!!!!

    WOW-zers! Trophy is the CUTEst idea I think i've ever heard. I don't even have any results yet but the hubby has been showing up with freeway flowers a lot lately. Can't wait to see what pay dirt brings! He knows I love spa days. So much that I scraped the side of my car getting to one on time. I was on time though!
  • kway610
    kway610 Posts: 162
    My husband is doing this with me. He's very supportive and positive about it all. I hope everyone who is in a relationship has a very supportive significant other!

    Same here! I introduced him to MFP and he was instantly addicted. We work out together, he trains me on the weights. He has his own goals and we are each other's biggest supporters!
  • darlilama
    darlilama Posts: 794 Member
    The first couple of weeks after I became dead serious on taking off the weight, he was actually sort of angry. Not at me, particularly, just in general. It was weird. It wasn't like it was a surprise to him… I'd made it clear what my intentions were. I told him that I wouldn't eat some of the things he cooked (the man loves to fry in oil and butter). But, I was doing most of the cooking at the time and he started complaining "just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean I am". Believe me, it wasn't going to hurt him to lose a few lbs or eat healthier, either. ;) I stood firm and told him he did not have to eat what I cooked, it would not bother me one bit. If he wanted to cook his own meals, that was fine with me. If he wanted to eat what I cooked, that was cool, too. But, he needed to LET IT GO.

    Well, he's sort of lazy that way, so he started eating what I was cooking, although he'd dress his up a bit with butter, etc. :) In not much time he had lost 10lbs, which started inspiring him to work out again. Also, once my weight started coming off, he did appreciate the improvement in my looks and my having more energy.

    He's still not full-on eating healthy and exercising, but I do NOT hear any complaints about what I'm doing. I get a lot more "you look really nice" comments, too. :happy:
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    I'm not doing this for my husband. But let's just say, he's not got any complaints with the results so far. :wink: