My wife is trying to kill me

135

Replies

  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    I'd be sleeping with one eye open tonight if I were you.
    And I bet she used to be soooo nice right?
  • Tapemymouthshutplease
    Tapemymouthshutplease Posts: 101
    Eat the burger, then make passionate love to your wife for a few hours, that should burn the extra calories! : )
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    Next thing you know she'll be serving you bacon for breakfast. The horror!

    Now I'm really worried. She gave me bacon a few times this week.

    Ohhh, so she's into slow torture. Verrrry clever.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    :noway: Maybe you could cook your own meals? :sad:

    If you don't agree with the OP you should just not post!1!! Jeez.


    LMAO. Seriously? :drinker:

    Seriously. She also just went the fridge and handed me a beer. This woman is going to be the death of me!

    If she walks towards you with a hot fudge sundae, scream like a little girl and run away.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    Drink 64 oz of green tea after dinner...you should be just fine.
  • Dlibo1013
    Dlibo1013 Posts: 883 Member
    leave the gun, take the Canolli "From The Godfather :-)"
  • grnqueen
    grnqueen Posts: 35 Member
    sign up for beyond diet, then hand her a list of what you can have (they have it available to print) I'm sure she's trying to be helpful...unless you missed a hint for a great Christmas present...then maybe it's payback :D
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
    Hide it and pretend you ate it. Here, it can go in my mouth >>>> :-O
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    Looking at that picture the only thing I can see missing is a second burger!! Those things need to be eaten in pairs... :drinker:
  • angel79202
    angel79202 Posts: 1,012 Member
    Thanks for the laugh!
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Leave her. Ain't no man gonna want a woman like that. Let her wallow in her loneliness. She deserves it.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Leave her. Ain't no man gonna want a woman like that. Let her wallow in her loneliness. She deserves it.

    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • LifeIsNotADressRehearsal
    LifeIsNotADressRehearsal Posts: 745 Member
    Contact your local police right now as well as friends and family. Tell them if you die they know who to look at.... Do it now....before it's too late!!!!!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Wait wait wait. We are taking his word on all this. For all we know..he actually made the burger and his wife tried to stop him! O.O
  • cfregon
    cfregon Posts: 147
    :glasses: Remember you have to follow a meal like that with a two day fast, then juice for a month! Only way to survive the horror!
  • gilberts3
    gilberts3 Posts: 37
    Hi my name is Kerri
    I just want to tell you all the food your wife giving you is good yes pickles have sodium but you need some sodium and fat besides protein and corn is good just don't add butter I don't know if this helps you but I been losing weight for a long time
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
    I see if just fine. If I were you I wouldn't eat the bun though. My husband is the same way. He tries to help me out, but so many times I have to cut off the portion in half in order to eat what he or his mother make with love for me.
  • angelcurry130
    angelcurry130 Posts: 265 Member
    wait wait wait! is the beef organic? it's not?!?! and the cheese is made from dairy instead of soy?!! omg...save yourself!

    ;)
  • harlanJEN
    harlanJEN Posts: 1,089 Member
    Coffee ..brewed with green coffee beans

    Enema

    STAT
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    lol!
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    Trash your buns. Eat the rest of it slowly since it'll probably be the only meal you can fit in your diary for the day.

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • MacInCali
    MacInCali Posts: 1,012 Member
    Carbs ... Corn ... Dairy ... Next thing you know, she'll be secretly sprinkling Splenda in your coffee!!

    Run away while you still have a chance!!!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Coffee ..brewed with green coffee beans

    Enema

    STAT


    Is a French press okay and how hot?
  • lumox1212
    lumox1212 Posts: 152
    just put it in the blender-then its healthy :drinker:
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    just put it in the blender-then its healthy :drinker:

    ^This. The burger looked juicy anyway.
  • deelutch
    deelutch Posts: 5 Member
    After she reads this post I would sure be fearful to eat any further meals, she may really poison ya! LOL
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Hope you have a comfy couch :laugh:
  • amberpitz
    amberpitz Posts: 103 Member
    just break up.

    take the hamburger with you.
    lmao
  • harlanJEN
    harlanJEN Posts: 1,089 Member
    Coffee ..brewed with green coffee beans

    Enema

    STAT


    Is a French press okay and how hot?

    French press is perfect!! Will be stronger

    And as hot as u can stand it. No pain, no gain
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    just break up.

    take the hamburger with you.
    lmao

    Pffft no. She made the hamburger so she should get to keep it..and the corn.

Categories