i feel stupid

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  • coolraul07
    coolraul07 Posts: 1,606 Member
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    Take this advice as you will (or don't), but perhaps less emphasis on the scale and more emphasis on measurements and other non-scale victories (NSVs) and goals are in order. For example, lose 2 inches in 2 months, increase specific strength metric by 10 lbs in 1 month, lose 1 jean size in 6 weeks, etc.? Don't take the goals I listed above as gospel, just as examples of what I meant.

    P.S. I read most, but not all, prior posts and didn't disagree with any of them. Good luck!
  • frando
    frando Posts: 583 Member
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    hey :3

    First off, eat what your husband makes but weigh it out, I'm due to face the same thing when I move in with my partner later this year.

    Second, stop comparing yourself to celebrities- what is the point? Do they have to juggle a full time job, family life and getting fit? Hellz no! Please be realistic in this. Also, you're not gross! Stand in front of the mirror and find something good about yourself- I know there's something there- then do it again next week and I'm sure you can find another good thing too :3

    Third, recheck your specs- I've been using the MFP given goals but been plateauing for nearly three months. Now I've recalculated I've broken through it :3

    Fourth, last but not least- the last few lbs etc. are generally the hardest to loose
  • Lalouse
    Lalouse Posts: 221 Member
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    Have you thought about seeing a nutritionist?

    My nutritionist told me that the weight gain was from getting married (which I already knew), but she explained that couples have a tendency to start eating the same amounts without realizing it. When you have dinner, the only comparison plate is probably your husband's plate, so you think, "Oh my plate looks better than that", but it's really not what you should be eating. It's like a psychological thing so you have to pay more attention.

    I think focus on the KINDS of food you are eating too.

    And don't be such a downer on yourself! You're a beautiful super healthy woman who works out (and enjoys it!). Take it easy! The last 15 are always the toughest :)
  • HotCuppaJo
    HotCuppaJo Posts: 477 Member
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    I read your profile and looked at your pics.... I'm not sure how to say this. Others are better at putting things more eloquently, but I will try. Please don't be offended. I have to say, the way you referenced your body and from the pictures I saw, you do not look to be overweight at all. Could it be, perhaps, that your body doesn't need to lose any weight and that's why you're struggling? In reference to what you posted on your profile about not wanting fat rolls...I see absolutely NONE on your body.

    I'm thinking your perception of your body is what is making this whole process difficult. Have you ever had issues with eating disorders?
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
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    Find your TDEE. Eat at a deficit. Win.

    This*******

    Use your TDEE as your diary goal and create a deficit from there. A calorie is never just a calorie but it takes -3500 calories to lose a pound of fat. It is MUCH easier to see how "In the green" you are at the end of the week and how much you should have lost.

    It is very possible your not calculating your calories right if your husband is preparing your food. Did he weigh the meat? Did he measure the pasta, veggies, butter, etc? Did he add a couple tablespoons of oil you didn't account for? Are you drinking your calories (especially alcohol)? Are you calculating your calories burned from your exercise? MFP and machines generally overestimate by 20-50% depending which one you use. Getting an HRM is the best bet for that.

    You need to dissect your food and exercise routine with a fine tooth comb to try to figure it out.
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
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    you workouts look pretty good...you look good...just keep at it and don't give up...if this is stressing that could be a cause as well...those foods that husband is getting you could always choose something different that fits what you need better...get that heart rate up during the workouts and yes..eat at that deficit
  • dedarlin
    dedarlin Posts: 41 Member
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    sounds like your activity level is good, maybe you need to take some time to weigh/measure and precook your meals so you get a better idea of portion sizes. when i feel like i'm getting off track i will weigh and measure every single thing i eat for a couple of weeks, time consuming, but worth it to me. i am also having a hard time dropping the last 10 or so pounds that make me feel icky, i have personally found that Intermittent Fasting may be the answer. i eat the same amount of food, just within an 8 hour 'feeding' window. i have found that my body seems to respond better to this, i think for me the constant eating (6-8 meals in the 16 hours i am awake) was keeping my body from really processing the nutrients. my digestive system is much happier now, not sure about the weight (i dont weigh myself but once per month) but i definitely feel better (less bloated, and 'regular')
    i hope you find what works for you!
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    This happens to a lot of people! Get a scale and weigh your food so that you can enter it accurately. The closer you are to goal weight, the more each calorie matters.

    Second, if you want to look fit you actually have to be fit. Fitness requires proper nutrition and a well balanced exercise regimen. If you are only eating 1000 calories per day, your nutrition is probably lacking. Are you really getting all of the energy, vitamins, proteins, fats, etc. that an active body requires? If you are only eating 1000 calories per day, are you really fueling your body for a challenging workout? If a workout isn't challenging, its not going to change your body.

    I'm not saying you aren't fit - I obviously don't know this - just something to consider!
  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
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    Thank you, you guys are kind. I will look into the suggestions. I know a lot of this is in my head. I really appreciate your kindness to a stranger.
  • CHEMSKIM
    CHEMSKIM Posts: 2
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    First, you should never shoot for eating 1000 calorie a day. You are setting yourself up for failure right off the bat. There's a good chance your body thinks you're dieing and is attempting to hang on to every ounce of weight it can. Your body doesn't know if you're on a deserted island or if you're on a diet. You have to approach this from a life style, life changing experience. Not a diet. You have to think of it as your are changing your life. What are you going to do if or when you lose the 15#? Don't eat things you don't like. Find the foods you like and cut your portions. And move 80% food/20% exercise. And excercise comes in all forms. And once you get your head scrwed on correctly, you have to keep letting yourself know this does not happen over night. You only have 15# to lose but you should attempt to do that over a nice slow pace because if you lose it right away by eating a 1000 calorie/day menu, as soon as you have a piece of pizza and a beer, you'll put half of it back on.
  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
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    Your TDEE is your total daily expenditure, it's how many calories you burn throughout the entire day including exercise. It's probably more than 1600 a day. My suggestion to you would be to eat more and start lifting weights. I don't think you need to lose scale weight, just body fat. If you eat at a small deficit and lift weights you'll see your shape change.

    Do you have access to a gym?

    I do have access to a gym.
  • ambervaldez79
    ambervaldez79 Posts: 210 Member
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    Your body looks great!
  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
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    I read your profile and looked at your pics.... I'm not sure how to say this. Others are better at putting things more eloquently, but I will try. Please don't be offended. I have to say, the way you referenced your body and from the pictures I saw, you do not look to be overweight at all. Could it be, perhaps, that your body doesn't need to lose any weight and that's why you're struggling? In reference to what you posted on your profile about not wanting fat rolls...I see absolutely NONE on your body.

    I'm thinking your perception of your body is what is making this whole process difficult. Have you ever had issues with eating disorders?

    no and this is what I am afraid of...it's stupid! I am almost 34 yrs old and dont know what a normal body is! I never really had issues before, I was always realllly little, like a size 0, now I'm a size 4/5 and I'm beating myself up. I never dieted, I always exercised a lot, bc I like it, it makes me feel strong. It's so stupid and embarrassing and shallow and I am a feminist and should know better but I don't even want to be be skinny just free from fat and tone/muscular/strong. Sorry, I'm also hormonal. I just want to feel ok w myself, is the bigger issue I think.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    could be body dysmorphia. definitely not stupid. it's something many people struggle with
  • JayHesker
    JayHesker Posts: 12 Member
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    I would caution you against comparing yourself to others. This isn't their battle, it's yours. Most of those skinny famous women aren't cute-it's not reality. You can do this, but you need to be focused and eat enough calories to sustain at least your minimum bodily functions per day and in reality, 1000 calories aint it.

    If you calculate your TDEE and eat fewer calories than that, you should lose. Don't forget to EXERCISE too! If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you will lose, but not if you are eating too few calories.

    There is nothing wrong with you. We all have to hit bottom before we can get results. You can do this! You are stronger than you think.


    And seriously. All those photos? They're all PHOTOSHOPPED by their publicist to make them look fabulous. If you compare yourself to those clowns, you will first remain unhappy, and then you will fail based on deception perpetrated against you. Don't play the game. Good luck.
  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
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    I would caution you against comparing yourself to others. This isn't their battle, it's yours. Most of those skinny famous women aren't cute-it's not reality. You can do this, but you need to be focused and eat enough calories to sustain at least your minimum bodily functions per day and in reality, 1000 calories aint it.

    If you calculate your TDEE and eat fewer calories than that, you should lose. Don't forget to EXERCISE too! If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you will lose, but not if you are eating too few calories.

    There is nothing wrong with you. We all have to hit bottom before we can get results. You can do this! You are stronger than you think.


    And seriously. All those photos? They're all PHOTOSHOPPED by their publicist to make them look fabulous. If you compare yourself to those clowns, you will first remain unhappy, and then you will fail based on deception perpetrated against you. Don't play the game. Good luck.

    I know you are right, that's what is so stupid. I KNOW better, but its a stupid insecurity inside me. I don't even "intellectually" buy into it...but then there is this little voice that does that is like "you're gross."
  • mollylaremeter
    mollylaremeter Posts: 59 Member
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    Thank you. I am going to cook more at home, portion my own food, wear a heart monitor all day once just to see, limit my celebrity bikini body viewing time and lift weights a little more, as well as actively combat those mean little voices in my head.
  • groversa
    groversa Posts: 450 Member
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    I feel like when I compare myself to others in real life I look fine. When I compare myself to famous people I look gross. when I look in the mirror or at pics of myself I also think I look gross. I feel like my mind and perception are twisted and I dont know what is real, normal and healthy. Sorry, I know I am feeling sorry for myself. I also weighed myself yesterday, the first day of my period, which is probably a bad thing to do id one is trying to have a positive attitude. I just look on this board at a lot of you guys who have done it and think....what the heck is wrong with me?!


    First of all..this. Having stress can and will effect your health and body. (This is a hard one for me too, but working at positive thinking will help if you practice enough). You should never compare yourself to anyone BUT yourself.

    Do this. Start yourself on a clean slate. Instead of saying "i have been trying to a year to lose weight" Start saying. Starting Janurary 22, 2013, I am going to start becoming the person I want to be."

    Keep track of EVERYTHING if you want your calorie intake to be accurate on here, I even will log one hersheys kiss when I eat one! Everything, because the little things are what adds up. (Including drinks- log all drinks, but I encourage you to only drink water and some milk. You can add things like mio to your water for flavor- no calories)

    Make a habit of exercise. Unless you force yourself to when you don't want to, you'll never end up making a habit of it.

    Start a clean slate, today. Forget about the past year. You are here, starting now, and you will succeed. :)

    Smile, because you'e blessed!
  • WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr
    WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr Posts: 2,150 Member
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    I agree with what others have said here about TDEE-15%, weigh and measure food, get in the kitchen more, ect. I have one more suggestion to add on: get new plates. I know this sounds weird, but the visual perception is amazing on how much/little we eat. I have Corelle dinner plates, which I love, but when I started weighing and measuring my foods, once the food was on my plate, I saw all this plate and this skimpy little, teeny tiny meal (now this is a weighed and measured , you know what a real correctly portioned normal serving of food should be.) A few years ago, somebody gave me a set of sandwich plates they didn't want, so I thought I'd try to use them to see what happened, these are the only plates I eat off of now: that skimpy, little, teeny, tiny, weighed, and measured correctly portioned meal looks HUGE on my sandwich plates.
  • porkchop_13
    porkchop_13 Posts: 122
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    Please dont compare yourself to anyone in Hollyweird. You look 1000x better than any of them.:bigsmile:

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