Unsupportive spouse

From a mans point of view. If he's a few years older than you (39) he may be having feelings of inadequacy. If you are in shape, the younger guys still think you're hot. Not many young women think older, out of shape guys are hot. I have been there and still am, I guess. EX body-builder, kiteboarder, ANY adrenaline sport that attracts Younger women. Now, I'm 68, My wife is 64, still slim and attractive, 5'6", 127 lbs. I get jealous and wonder about where she goes and what she's doing. MY PROBLEM not hers. She and I have been married 45 years and I know , "she's a keeper". We do both workout but not together. ANYWAY, just to say, some men later in life "need to know they are still wanted".

Joyce I know what you are going through. My husband does and says the same exact things. I know it isn't easy but you just have to ignore him! Push all of your frustrations with him into your workouts! Men don't understand that when they say stuff like this it makes us women push harder because now we have something to prove!!!! Good Luck.

He's past that talking stage. A while ago, I caught him spying on me at the gym! He was parked outside just watching me from my car. I'm about 20 lbs from my GW and who know how he'll be if I become attractive to guys again!!

I apoloigize if I sound mean or rude... but why are you with him?

He speaks down to you, is controlling and he sat in the car and watched you at the gym? What did he say when you asked him why he was spying on you at the gym? Or did you even talk to him about it? His behaviour is terrible and goes way beyond an unsupportive spouse.

All red flags which should be screaming to you to get out now before things get worse. He is abusive... abusive doesn't always mean physically abusive.

If you become attracted to guys again there is no telling what stupid thing he may do.

If I were you I would get out now. If he is past talking to you about it and is now spying on you, there are bigger problems in your life than your weight. He clearly has trust issues as well which doesn't make for a good relationship.

If my husband made those comments to me, was spying on me while I was at the gym and wouldn't talk to me about it he would be gone... or I would be packing my bags and heading out the door. His behaviour is beyond unacceptable.

If you don't want to take control and either leave or get counselling for the both of you than you shouldn't be complaining that he isn't supportive. If he doesn't want to do counselling he won't change and will only get worse. If he does agree to counselling and nothing changes he will only get worse.

my husband is the same way especially because I give up so fast he's like oh your trying to eat healthy again how long is that going to last this time. the good thing is we have people on here to keep you motivated so when you are feeling down just get online! That's what I do anyway. Keep your head!

My husband is very insecure and unhappy of his shape although he looks great and I am 70 pounds overweight. He wants to look better but does not do anything about it (smokes, eats junk food and starves himself to lose weight). He is extremely vain and competitive with me. So he does not like if I succeed. I lost significant amount of weight three times during our marriage, however he only remembers the one for our wedding. I lost weight after having babies (twice) in Biggest Loser Challenge in our local gym. First time I lost 30 pounds, second time 40 pounds. He did not support me. He was talking negatively, bringing home booze and junk food. In the end he told me too bad I did not win the challenge as I was "only" the fifth place out of 50 people. He is a jerk and so is your husband. I learnt to ignore him and I focus on my goals. I talked to him about doing the same for himself and she why he is unhappy if I am successful in something.

I'm having this problem with some of the people in my life too. I don't know if they are jealous, competitive or worried because sometimes I can be obsessive about logging what I eat (which is good I think) I'm not really sure what to do or how to deal with it either =/

It's natural to wonder. Tell him it's for the two of you and that he should give it a shot too. Just be positive and if that doesn't work, hey at least you tried.

Comments like that are made from an insecure person who does not want you to improve yourself and get "too good" for him. If he can make you feel unattractive or guilty about improving yourself he thinks you will stay with him because "who else would want you?". It is a form of control.
As you improve yourself it may make him realize his own self doubts.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I've been there in a prevs relationship. i let it get to me and talked to him but it never changed. Finally I used it as fuel. I would let all the anger out at the gym. It would help me push through the thoughts of stopping early or not going as hard. I also put up a picture of what I looked like at the start, and added a new picture every time I lost 5 lbs, in my kitchen so I would see it whenever I would think about what to eat. great reminders for you and a reminder to him of why you are doing this.