RANT: Careless Weightloss Goals!

Yeah, I feel real stupid. I made a deal with a friend that if we got to 135 pounds on the scale we would go for a girls weekend retreat. We weigh the same right now, but both are very different. I have lost over 60 pounds and have built a lot of muscle. She on the other hand is a lot of flab and is probably at her max weight. She will probably drop, just watching what she eats. For one, she hasn't already lost any weight, two, she is not building any muscle, etc.... Plus she is like 3 inches short than me.

I am gonna work really hard to achieve this goal. Knowing everything I know, doing what I know works.

Stupid for me to put myself under that presure. I would much rather my body look good, than see a number on a scale.

But we will see who wins in the end, me with my fantastic hard body or her, doing hers her way.

I'm going to take a few minutes and rant a little. It's that time of year again where people are looking to better themselves and set goals for weight loss. I've seen the posts all over the place with challenges folks have set for themselves or competitions with others. While all these are great, the focus doesn't need to be just on weight. If you are doing these types of things and the only marker for success is what the scale reads, you're doing it wrong! If you are eating below BMR on daily basis, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what BMR means, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what your BMR or TDEE is, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't taken measurements, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't calculated your body fat percentage, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!!

Posts like this just make newbies (like me) feel further deflated, like we've no clue what we're doing and people like you are somehow better than us or above us.
You're doing it wrong, you're doing it wrong...yeah well, we're trying and joining a site like this is a big step. We're learning. We'll get there. We can't know all the 'right' things to do automatically, if we came here with all the knowledge we probably wouldn't be overweight in the first place. I understand you want to offer advice to others but posts like this are just annoying.
I hadn't even heard of things like TDEE before I joined this site and I'm slowly working it all out, whilst trying to make some major changes in my life which isn't easy. I'm asking others on here for advice when it's needed.
I'm very sorry that us newbies are p*ssing you off because we're not as awesome as you are just yet but please just give us some time and the ones who are truely motivated and in it for the long haul will learn all the 'proper' things to do with time, we don't need your patronising posts screaming how crap we all are.

You have to understand where the frustration comes from...it's not with newbies in general...it's newbies that ask for advice...they are given sound and solid advice from people who have learned all of this stuff...and just simply ignore it while they wait for a post that just happens to agree with their flawed "science."

When I first started here, I didn't know anything either...I didn't know BMR or TDEE....but you damn well better believe that it only took a couple of veteran MFPers telling me to find out to get me to do so. When I first started out, as a foodie, I thought my love of food would be forever over...that all I would have to look forward to in life were sticks of celery and carrots...then I started listening to a bunch of MFPers and looking at my macros as well as my calories and making better decisions, while at the same time realizing that I can eat actual food and still lose weight.

The frustrations comes from telling someone they are starving themselves netting 700 calories per day and they just shrug their shoulders and move on as if they know. They obviously don't know because they have no understanding that 1,200 calories includes a huge deficit from their TDEE already and is in many cases well below their BMR...they are starving themselves and they do not listen. Some of us actually do care about the well being of fellow members, whether noobs or not and are concerned for their health and safety...and it's very frustrating when they don't listen.

well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

Query: How does one know they are taking in less than they are putting out without calculating calories and TDEE/BMR?

Lastly, don't be in such a hurry to hit some goal. You want this transformation to last. Take is slow and learn how to eat, what workouts you enjoy and what eating pattern fits your schedule.

People don't realize that getting the body you want can take years.

Skinny Fat-

To look slim, even with revealing clothes, but when touched, the touching hand sinks into fat before reaching muscle. Older people will 'show' "Skinny fat" visually, but young people have firm skin that hides it until they're touched.

A person who is not overweight and have skinny look but still have a high fat percentage and low muscular mass. Usually those people have a low caloric diet, that's why they are skinny, but are not involved in any sports activities or trainings and that's why they don’t have any muscle. Since between the bone and the skin those people only have fat, the skin can be deformed easily because the skin layer is located on an unstable matter (fat).

Skinny fat woman look sexy from a certain distance but they have soft jelly skin and still have some cellulite even if they are in there early 20s.

Sorry, I'll take "skinny anything" over being fat.

I'm going to take a few minutes and rant a little. It's that time of year again where people are looking to better themselves and set goals for weight loss. I've seen the posts all over the place with challenges folks have set for themselves or competitions with others. While all these are great, the focus doesn't need to be just on weight. If you are doing these types of things and the only marker for success is what the scale reads, you're doing it wrong! If you are eating below BMR on daily basis, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what BMR means, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what your BMR or TDEE is, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't taken measurements, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't calculated your body fat percentage, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!!

This is what people tend to miss when trying to lose weight. If you are eating a very low calorie diet, you will lose weight, not only from fat, but from lean body mass, as well. The scale doesn't tell you which one the weight loss is coming from. This is why gauging your success by body fat percentage is a better way to go.

Calculate your BMR! Calculate your TDEE! Take 20% from TDEE and eat at that level! Lift weights and eat sufficient protein. Recommended at least .8 grams/lb of body weight. This will help preserve LBM. If you like cardio better, fine, but still find time to get in a couple strength training sessions per week.

Lastly, don't be in such a hurry to hit some goal. You want this transformation to last. Take is slow and learn how to eat, what workouts you enjoy and what eating pattern fits your schedule.

You absolutely CAN lose weight without counting calories, without working out, and without knowing a thing about TDEE or BMR. I've done it! At least 5 times! And I gained it back every time.

I'm so grateful for everything I learned that brought me to MFP in the first place and everything I've learned/still learning since I arrived. Otherwise, I'd have gone with the old standard 1200 cal target I've heard all my life for women when it turns out I can eat 1600-1800 a day plus exercise calories and lose steadily without feeling sick with hunger.