RANT: Careless Weightloss Goals!

124

Replies

  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Yeah, I feel real stupid. I made a deal with a friend that if we got to 135 pounds on the scale we would go for a girls weekend retreat. We weigh the same right now, but both are very different. I have lost over 60 pounds and have built a lot of muscle. She on the other hand is a lot of flab and is probably at her max weight. She will probably drop, just watching what she eats. For one, she hasn't already lost any weight, two, she is not building any muscle, etc.... Plus she is like 3 inches short than me.

    I am gonna work really hard to achieve this goal. Knowing everything I know, doing what I know works.

    Stupid for me to put myself under that presure. I would much rather my body look good, than see a number on a scale.

    But we will see who wins in the end, me with my fantastic hard body or her, doing hers her way.

    Wow, you are a really sweet "friend."

    Does being a friend mean to not be honest or tell it like it is? So you think I should sugar coat it?!! I tell her the same thing I wrote here. Having a hard body is not what she wants but to each their own.

    She makes it a competition with me, I am just really competitive and will accept the challenge.

    ETA: I am guessing that your diet/fitness goals are similar to my friends and that is why you resorted to judgmental sarcasm against my comment.
    I don't sugar coat anything, I have been doing this to long. with countless fails
  • wahmx3
    wahmx3 Posts: 633 Member
    I totally agree with the OP! Figure out the math to help with weight loss, it isn't as simple as eating less.
  • mshopey
    mshopey Posts: 125 Member
    I still want to be soft when i lose weight.
    I want to be curvy, not muscley.
    I never knew people thought that was such a crime.
    Each to their own i guess.
    Bit of preaching going on in this board.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    I still want to be soft when i lose weight.
    I want to be curvy, not muscley.
    I never knew people thought that was such a crime.
    Each to their own i guess.
    Bit of preaching going on in this board.

    Nobody is talking about being muscley. My guess is you want to be toned... mostly because nobody ever says they want to be flabby when they lose weight, and preserving your Lean Body Mass is what makes you look toned.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


    Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

    if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

    Bravo! Totally agreed.

    Hmmm you have been here since December 2011 and your tickler shows absolutely no weightloss.

    Maybe, WE should listen to the people that have results!!!!
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Nobody is talking about being muscley. My guess is you want to be toned... mostly because nobody ever says they want to be flabby when they lose weight, and preserving your Lean Body Mass is what makes you look toned.

    Listen to little calves up there, she knows what she's talking about.
  • crazytreelady
    crazytreelady Posts: 752 Member
    well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


    Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

    if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

    THANK YOU
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


    Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

    if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

    THANK YOU

    Exactly what is MFP good for if you are not using it to count calories or track you exercise etc....?
    I don't understand!!
  • magdalen13
    magdalen13 Posts: 62 Member
    Isn't that what the "guided goals" are for on MFP?

    Give people a guide, set the goals for them, and let them get on with counting calories and earning some back via exercise?

    I've just spent an hour looking at changing my goals as I think they are now too low for my changing goals. I read through TDEE/BMR etc etc. Did all of the calculations. Then went to the MFP guided goals and guess what...the MFP goal came out within 80 calories of the TDEE -20% calculation.

    It doesn't have to be complicated. MFP does it for you. I don't think that MFP has got it wrong, its worked for many, many people on the site, me included. Set your loss at 1lb per week, choose an activity level that best describes you, and take it from there.

    Not saying that TDEE/BMR/BF% etc is wrong, but hasn't MFP done the hard work for most people?

    So those reading this wondering "what the hell??" don't rush off to change things. If the MFP goals are working for you then keep up the good work.

    Yeah -- OP sparked my curiosity as well (thanks for starting the discussion!) and I went and did the calculations, and came out within about 100 calories of my MFP guided goals... so, I guess well done MFP on that front. I think more of the trouble comes in when people don't understand how to set their MFP goals to what they are eating/exercising, or choose to not track accurately at all... Or have unrealistic goals to begin with.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Isn't that what the "guided goals" are for on MFP?

    Give people a guide, set the goals for them, and let them get on with counting calories and earning some back via exercise?

    I've just spent an hour looking at changing my goals as I think they are now too low for my changing goals. I read through TDEE/BMR etc etc. Did all of the calculations. Then went to the MFP guided goals and guess what...the MFP goal came out within 80 calories of the TDEE -20% calculation.

    It doesn't have to be complicated. MFP does it for you. I don't think that MFP has got it wrong, its worked for many, many people on the site, me included. Set your loss at 1lb per week, choose an activity level that best describes you, and take it from there.

    Not saying that TDEE/BMR/BF% etc is wrong, but hasn't MFP done the hard work for most people?

    So those reading this wondering "what the hell??" don't rush off to change things. If the MFP goals are working for you then keep up the good work.

    Yeah -- OP sparked my curiosity as well (thanks for starting the discussion!) and I went and did the calculations, and came out within about 100 calories of my MFP guided goals... so, I guess well done MFP on that front. I think more of the trouble comes in when people don't understand how to set their MFP goals to what they are eating/exercising, or choose to not track accurately at all... Or have unrealistic goals to begin with.

    This is very true. Also, a lot of people do little to no research before using this tool and they think 1,200 calories is a maintenance goal so they make all sorts of efforts to stay below it, not understanding that their is already a considerable (often too large) deficit in that goal. To the OPs point, not understanding BMR and TDEE exacerbates this problem because they continue to under nourish themselves thinking they're at maintenance (and should be)...but they have no idea what maintenance (i.e. TDEE) is.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Now I didn't read all the posts, but I caught a few of the responses that were opposing the OP's post (which I personally like very much btw).
    "What if I don't want to be ripped?"

    "Not everyone wants to be a body builder"

    Ok, now my goal isn't to look like a fitness model, however I do consistently incorporate strength training. I do this because increased muscle mass speeds up metabolism, you can't tone what you don't have and muscle looks better than fat, I have been 140lbs w/o strength training and I have been 140lbs with strength training and WITH makes my clothes fit better even if the same number is appearing on the scale.
    I'm also thinking of what I want as I get older. As we age, we naturally lose muscle loss, which can lead to some serious health problems. People with weak muscles are less able to maintain good posture, keep their balance, or live independently. As a result, diminished muscle mass makes you more prone to falls, breathing problems, and psychological problems such as depression.
    you don't have to count everything

    If you're not here to count calories, why are you here?

    If you follow the program for more than a week, you will see results. I know I do much better when I'm following the MFP program of logging calories, making food choices to meet my macros that they've set up, exercising and eating back my most my exercise calories than when I go rogue.
  • HIITMe
    HIITMe Posts: 921 Member


    If you're not here to count calories, why are you here?



    I use the MFP software to track my progress in weightloss and inches, not to track my calories, or any other unit of measure... I dont even use the food diary...oh and to pass the time while bored at work...
    I am doing quite well...

    I suspect I am not the only one...
  • AmberB519
    AmberB519 Posts: 336 Member
    Pinning so I can come back and read the whole thread when I have a free moment :)
  • lucypeaks
    lucypeaks Posts: 96 Member
    Actually i think it's really rude to tell people what they should and should not be doing-we're all here to lose weight and get a healthier body. Unless folk are seriously threatening their health then i think support is needed,not criticism
  • lissaloue
    lissaloue Posts: 34 Member
    That's why I'm doing it the right way, eating 400 below my TDEE. I have long term goals. I would love friends with the same outlook, add me!!!! :happy:
  • Valley83
    Valley83 Posts: 78 Member
    Isn't that what the "guided goals" are for on MFP?

    Give people a guide, set the goals for them, and let them get on with counting calories and earning some back via exercise?

    I've just spent an hour looking at changing my goals as I think they are now too low for my changing goals. I read through TDEE/BMR etc etc. Did all of the calculations. Then went to the MFP guided goals and guess what...the MFP goal came out within 80 calories of the TDEE -20% calculation.

    It doesn't have to be complicated. MFP does it for you. I don't think that MFP has got it wrong, its worked for many, many people on the site, me included. Set your loss at 1lb per week, choose an activity level that best describes you, and take it from there.

    Not saying that TDEE/BMR/BF% etc is wrong, but hasn't MFP done the hard work for most people?

    So those reading this wondering "what the hell??" don't rush off to change things. If the MFP goals are working for you then keep up the good work.

    I think a lot of people don't understand that MFP already incorporates a deficit, so when they add exercise to the mix they don't eat back their exercise calories which puts them at an extremely large deficit. When figuring out your TDEE it includes your exercise calories. So you are right MFP does do the work for you, as long as you understand that exercise calories are not included. Most people will automatically chose to lose 2 pounds a week. Which depending on how much they have to lose it can put them at too large of a deficit. If you use all the tools available to you, MFP's calculations, TDEE, BMR etc. you can figure out what the best plan for yourself is, rather than just using 2 pounds a week and 1200 calories a day.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


    Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

    if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

    ^On a calorie counting/exercise tracking site and tells people that calorie counting is "overcomplicating" things.
    Hmmm...

    :huh:
  • drusilla126
    drusilla126 Posts: 478 Member
    Oh I'm there with ya. I preach this every day to at least 10 people.
  • LilMissDB
    LilMissDB Posts: 133
    but... there's that wedding coming up in a month! I just HAVE to get that last 75 lbs off.

    Bahaha well, of course :)
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


    Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

    if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

    Query: How does one know they are taking in less than they are putting out without calculating calories and TDEE/BMR?

    Good point. I think some people are able to eat a certain way without "counting" and without worrying about weight issues--I have a coworker who does not count calories or do strenuous exercise, but she eats appropriate portion sizes and maintains her weight without tracking her food. Me....I used to be able to do that and I hope to have that ability again someday, but for now, I track everything and look at numbers--that is helping me get healthy. I don't see it as cumbersome, keeping a "ledger" or as a "grad school project" (my grad school projects were MUCH more difficult lol).
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    Skinny Fat-

    To look slim, even with revealing clothes, but when touched, the touching hand sinks into fat before reaching muscle. Older people will 'show' "Skinny fat" visually, but young people have firm skin that hides it until they're touched.

    A person who is not overweight and have skinny look but still have a high fat percentage and low muscular mass. Usually those people have a low caloric diet, that's why they are skinny, but are not involved in any sports activities or trainings and that's why they don’t have any muscle. Since between the bone and the skin those people only have fat, the skin can be deformed easily because the skin layer is located on an unstable matter (fat).

    Skinny fat woman look sexy from a certain distance but they have soft jelly skin and still have some cellulite even if they are in there early 20s.

    this term "skinny fat" seems like an awesome way to shame women. i'd rather be "skinny fat" than fat fat any day. not everyone either wants to lift weights or can lift weights due to injury.

    i'll lose weight my own way and really do not need some know it all telling me that i'm doing it wrong repeatedly on this forum! if i really am doing it wrong, i'll find that out when and if i gain it all back. not planning to gain it back though.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Actually i think it's really rude to tell people what they should and should not be doing-we're all here to lose weight and get a healthier body. Unless folk are seriously threatening their health then i think support is needed,not criticism

    Instead of getting overly sensitive and defensive, realize that some of the people who have been on here a while and at this for much longer, have more experience and knowledge and are OFFERING help.

    Say you start a new job and you have to be trained. Are you going to tell the senior employee who has X amount of years experience on you that they don't know what they're talking about & go off and do it your way no matter what?

    Or when parents allow or don't allow their children to do something or act a certain way. Why? Because the parent has BEEN THERE, DONE THAT and KNOW from EXPERIENCE what would be the better path.

    Too many new people here act like rebellious teenagers pouting and stomping their feet.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    Skinny Fat-

    To look slim, even with revealing clothes, but when touched, the touching hand sinks into fat before reaching muscle. Older people will 'show' "Skinny fat" visually, but young people have firm skin that hides it until they're touched.

    A person who is not overweight and have skinny look but still have a high fat percentage and low muscular mass. Usually those people have a low caloric diet, that's why they are skinny, but are not involved in any sports activities or trainings and that's why they don’t have any muscle. Since between the bone and the skin those people only have fat, the skin can be deformed easily because the skin layer is located on an unstable matter (fat).

    Skinny fat woman look sexy from a certain distance but they have soft jelly skin and still have some cellulite even if they are in there early 20s.

    this term "skinny fat" seems like an awesome way to shame women. i'd rather be "skinny fat" than fat fat any day. not everyone either wants to lift weights or can lift weights due to injury.

    Visual appearance aside....I don't lift "heavy" simply b/c I don't have access to a gym, I work out at home and incorporate strength training that includes weights and body weight training. Do I want to look like a fitness model? No. I just want a lot less jiggle to my wiggle. I also am thinking of what kind of life I want for myself in 10, 20, 30, 60 years from now. Maintaining muscle mass as we age should be an important part of a healthy lifestyle as it contributes to skeletal strength and helps prevent injury. People with weak muscles are less able to maintain good posture, keep their balance, or live independently. As a result, diminished muscle mass makes you more prone to falls, breathing problems, and psychological problems such as depression.
  • I'm going to take a few minutes and rant a little. It's that time of year again where people are looking to better themselves and set goals for weight loss. I've seen the posts all over the place with challenges folks have set for themselves or competitions with others. While all these are great, the focus doesn't need to be just on weight. If you are doing these types of things and the only marker for success is what the scale reads, you're doing it wrong! If you are eating below BMR on daily basis, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what BMR means, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what your BMR or TDEE is, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't taken measurements, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't calculated your body fat percentage, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!!

    Posts like this just make newbies (like me) feel further deflated, like we've no clue what we're doing and people like you are somehow better than us or above us.
    You're doing it wrong, you're doing it wrong...yeah well, we're trying and joining a site like this is a big step. We're learning. We'll get there. We can't know all the 'right' things to do automatically, if we came here with all the knowledge we probably wouldn't be overweight in the first place. I understand you want to offer advice to others but posts like this are just annoying.
    I hadn't even heard of things like TDEE before I joined this site and I'm slowly working it all out, whilst trying to make some major changes in my life which isn't easy. I'm asking others on here for advice when it's needed.
    I'm very sorry that us newbies are p*ssing you off because we're not as awesome as you are just yet but please just give us some time and the ones who are truely motivated and in it for the long haul will learn all the 'proper' things to do with time, we don't need your patronising posts screaming how crap we all are.

    YES!!!! You go, girl!! This is all very overwhelming and very confusing at times. PLEASE, all you weight loss/fitness gurus, give all of us newbies a break. There is a learning curve.
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
    For overly concerned newbies...I have been at this almost 2 years, after knowing nothing about nutrition to start. I just followed what MFP told me to do. I eventually learned about BMR and TDEE and guess what...MFP always had my calories at the right spot...numbers just varied usually less than 10. MFP takes most of the hard work out of it for you...Stay within your calories, eat back workout calories, eat healthy foods and dont feel scared to splurge and have cake or cookies from time to time. I do lots of cardio but I make sure to get at least one to two good days of strength training in as well. I have never looked or felt better and I am almost 40 pounds down. The OP really had all good things to say...the lingo just sounds scary at times. A better body is doable...but as I said...I have been working at it for 2 years!
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    For overly concerned newbies...I have been at this almost 2 years, after knowing nothing about nutrition to start. I just followed what MFP told me to do. I eventually learned about BMR and TDEE and guess what...MFP always had my calories at the right spot...numbers just varied usually less than 10. MFP takes most of the hard work out of it for you...Stay within your calories, eat back workout calories, eat healthy foods and dont feel scared to splurge and have cake or cookies from time to time. I do lots of cardio but I make sure to get at least one to two good days of strength training in as well. I have never looked or felt better and I am almost 40 pounds down. The OP really had all good things to say...the lingo just sounds scary at times. A better body is doable...but as I said...I have been working at it for 2 years!

    Only thing I can add to this is to not hate or be afraid of food. If you intend this to be a lifestyle change, you need to be able to go out to dinner and indulge yourself from time to time. Find what works for you.
  • wendybird5
    wendybird5 Posts: 577 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • nagniho
    nagniho Posts: 132 Member
    well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


    Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

    if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

    Query: How does one know they are taking in less than they are putting out without calculating calories and TDEE/BMR?

    This!!!:noway:
  • TerriAnne53
    TerriAnne53 Posts: 197 Member
    but... there's that wedding coming up in a month! I just HAVE to get that last 75 lbs off.

    TOO FUNNY...........................
  • LizL217
    LizL217 Posts: 217 Member
    this term "skinny fat" seems like an awesome way to shame women. i'd rather be "skinny fat" than fat fat any day. not everyone either wants to lift weights or can lift weights due to injury.

    i'll lose weight my own way and really do not need some know it all telling me that i'm doing it wrong repeatedly on this forum! if i really am doing it wrong, i'll find that out when and if i gain it all back. not planning to gain it back though.

    Guys get called "skinny fat", too, so it's an equal-opportunity term :)

    If what you're doing is working for you and getting you the results you want, I think that's great. Keep it up. If it's still working in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, 20 years, etc., then you get to be the know-it-all! Yay!

    I think the point of the OP was not "this is the only way to do it" (although several of you interpreted it that way), but was more about "this way is more likely to get you consistent, long-term healthy results". And that's the main criticism of becoming "skinny fat"... while you're young you look good because you're skinny. But when you get old and develop osteoperosis and saggy skin you're going to wish you had done a little strength training along the way. I was skinny fat once and because my core muscles weren't strong enough I injured my back and had 2 herniated discs at the age of 25. So strength training for me = injury prevention.

    Personally I like to be strong because I like to do as many things as possible by myself... move a bookshelf, carry many many bags of groceries from the store, pull myself up over a wall when rapists are chasing me, push myself up into standing position onto a surfboard... There's no downside to being strong. There are lots of downsides to being NOT strong. If the look you are after is "NOT strong", cool. Don't be strong. But you're missing out on some cool stuff.

    This was a very long-winded way of saying that the point of the original post was that there is a higher probability of achieving a healthy and happy body following the steps outlined, with which I agree.