Men! What motivated you? I need your help!

sorry dear, but the more you push him to join (and even though you may not feel like you're pushing or nagging, to him you are cause that's how the average guy thinks) the less he'll want to. he has to make the decision himself.

True. I know he views me as a total nag. Sniffle. Sniffle. It's not my intention but I know that is how he feels.

Then stop nagging. Regardless of whether or not you mean to, if he sees it that way you are probably hurting the chances he makes long term changes, not helping.

I don't feel like I am nagging as I only will bring up MFP when he opens up about being frustrated about his weight. I don't nag him about all that he eats or drinks or going to the gym or the way he looks. But when he complains about how terrible he feels b/c his pants aren't fitting then I usually tell him-- "why don't you check out the Pal. I have had great success using it. I will even log the food for you if you want me to"... The only reason I say anything is because he seems to want to lose weight so bad and can't seem to do it. If he were happy w/ the way he looks/feels I wouldn't even bring it up. I love him unconditionally- not saying that to be weird.... just want him to be happy.

You said "it's not my intention, but I know that's how he feels." If that's the case, then you're nagging. Period. Stop. I know your intentions are good, but if he sees you as nagging then you're likely doing more harm than good.

I don't know what will work exactly, for your husband. I'll tell you my story and perhaps there is something there that will make sense.

I met my wife when I was somewhat sedentary and a bit overweight, but nothing horrible. I was like 5'8" and 180 and did cardio 2x a week and was staying at that place. She was 5'6" and 155 and awesome to behold! For a variety of reasons I let the cardio drop and gained 20 lbs. At which point I decided I needed to do something about it. First go round, I started up cardio again and did Weight Watchers. By 8 weeks in the cravings for "forbidden stuff" were so bad, and my weight loss so minimal, that I quit. And gained more weight in the process of quitting, up to 210 lbs. About 6 months later, I tried again. This time I just cut back calories (ye old CICO approach) and added cardio again. And I lost 9 lbs, was so excited at 201 ... but again, cravings for crap I shouldn't eat, and not enjoying the cardio, caused me to fall off the bandwagon.

I ended up all the way up to 218 lbs. On someone who is 5'8 and not trying to create huge, bulky muscles, this is way obese. In Nov, 2011 I had a health screening and was 218, BP was pre hypertensive, chol/HDL ratio of 11.7, cholesterol almost 300, HDL only 22, glucose of 135 ... basically all the metabolic syndrome symptoms. Obese, high risk of heart disease, about to be put on BP meds, borderline type II diabetic. Shocked me. Scared me, too. Everyone in my family dies of heart disease. I'm only 45 and I don't want to have a heart attack when I'm 50. I have a high stress job with killer hours, lots of travel, etc. I was well on my way to a very bad outcome.

But I also knew I couldn't succeed at fixing this with calorie in/calorie out and cardio. I'd tried, no dice. ANd I was pretty sure that if I tried again, and failed, that was going to be the end of ever trying. Probably where your husband is at right now, I would guess.

I did a ton of research to try and find out what was going on with me and how to fix it in a way that would work and I could sustain over a long period of time. I happened to read a blog (not a health blog) where the writer every once in a while mentioned how much reading Gary Taubes books has helped him with staying healthy. I figured, at this point, it couldn't hurt. So, I bought Gary Taubes, "Why We Get Fat" and read it cover to cover.

Meanwhile, my wife, who has a much more standard "cut calories, walk some, don't drink beer" ability to lose weight had started dropping again, wanting to get down to somewhere between 140 and 145. Let me tell you, a 5'6" woman who weighs 145 or less is rocking hot and I figured I couldn't be an overweight exec and have a hot wife, that's just too damn cliche.

Well, Taubes' book was the deal ... it explains very clearly how the body's metabolism works with carbs, fat and proteins, how insulin works, what causes hunger and cravings, and much more. I spent a lot of time reading, talking to people and deciding what the right approach for me would be. Two things were clear to me. The first was that when I follow the CI/CO approach ONLY, without tuning macronutrients to make sense for my body, I would fail. I already had twice. I quit using tobacco cold turkey, just decided one day I was done, never smoked a cigarette or used smokeless tobacco again in my life. I had the willpower to do that. But CICO weight loss, I couldn't do it. That should tell you something about how insanely difficult it can be for some people to do the traditional approach to weight loss.

The problem is not motivation, or will power. It is finding what works for you as an individual. Your husband has to do that. I'm sure he wants to lose the weight and get fit. He doesn't want to be a slug, I promise. He can't figure out how to succeed. As I told someone the other day, not all bodies and metabolisms are the same. It's like a Toyota Camry and a Ford F150. Both are the same ... they have four wheels, a drive train, an internal combustion engine to produce power. Both use gas as fuel. But boy do they need different amounts of fuel to travel the same distance or go the same speed. Traditional CICO, calorie deficit and cardio works for a specific type of metabolism and body. But not all.

Since starting my own weight loss and fitness regimen I have successfully lost and kept off 22 lbs (not done yet) and reduced ALL of my numbers to much lower risk levels. As of Nov, 2012 my glucose is 107, my A1C is 5.6, cholesterol is 228, HDL is 41, chol/HDL ratio is 5.6, BP is 110/70. My doc thinks my diet is crazy but said to keep doing it, since it's working. I went from barely jogging a mile before I had to walk to being able to run 2 miles in about 17 minutes now (which exceeds the Army's minimum standard for physical fitness for my age). I found what works for me. And no crazy, unbeatable hunger and cravings that defeat me either. I am full and happy and content with my food, not "on a diet".

So, my advice? Buy your husband Gary Taubes' book, "Why We Get Fat" ... encourage him to read it cause some dude on MFP says "it's not like all the other ways to lose weight".