Teddy Bear Types, Ladies and Dating?

I don't worry much about how people look, I found once you like someone's personality, you will be attracted to how they look as you associate their image with all the other good feelings. Think pavlov's dog type thing.

That said I generally don't like guys who are ripped, but the manikin feeling aside, it is more that if you are prepared to spend so many hours a day in a gym working on how you look because that is the most valuable use of your time, you are likely a fairly shallow person. The normal kind of fit look from people who do physical labour is fine I don't have the same association of attitude that the ripped guys seem to come with.

totally depends on the vibe and the guy. Not really a good person to give advice here, but desperate guys are such a darn turn off!!

Teddy Bear types don't ask me, so I couldn't say. No one asks me. Perhaps these Teddy Bear types don't want Teddy Bear women...seems kind of unfair.


Hmm.

That's what bothers me the most about this thread...

I love a teddy bear, as long as he has an attractive face and presents himself well.

I've been with men of every shape and size. I fall for brains and personality far more than anything physical. That said, I found all of them physically attractive in their own way. I have been with every kind of guy, from professional bodybuilder to buff rock star to "big" ex-football players to lean swordfighters, guys who did hard labor carrying 80 lb. bags of cement up a ladder every day to desk jockeys or even disc jockeys. I got interested based on who they were, and how they behaved toward me.

That said, I am also not a "small" girl. I was, at one time, but I haven't been for a long time. And I've never had a problem getting, or holding, a man's attention. There are plenty of men out there who appreciate a woman like me, and my loving husband is their King.

Personalities can make or break a person. You can have an extremely society attractive man/woman walk up to you, and then he/she opens his/her mouth and you are running the other way. And on the opposite spectrum you can have an average looking guy/gal, or even not so average looking, who can start a conversation with you and before you know it he/she starts to become more attractive the longer you talk to him/her.

It's not always a specific body type the opposite sex is looking at. Maybe from their first impression at a glance they are trying to picture your lifestyle and if they are attracted to your lifestyle, not necessarily what you look like specifically. If someone is huge into working out, being outdoors, rock climbing, cycling, volley ball etc... if you look strong enough and carry yourself as though you live an active lifestyle - regardless of your exact size - it may be lifestyle they are assessing, not your physical appearance. Maybe at a first glance they are just trying to decide if you may be interested in the same things so you could possibly enjoy doing them together?

Someone posted earlier, maybe some people look for people that are going to help them stick to the healthier lifestyle they have chosen to live the rest of their life. If they see someone eating crap food, smoking, - whatever non-healthy habits you are choosing not to have as a part of your lifestyle - maybe that's what they are seeing & are not interested in - not your physical appearance? maybe?? just thoughts...

Having similar interests, morals, values, goals are all things that are going to make or break a relationship. If you don't have interests that you share together, it's not going to matter what the person looks like. You have to have enough interest in the whole person to make it work. Physical attributes are a small piece of the relationship equation.

Everyone knows it's not all about looks, you can't date someone based on looks alone, YOU HAVE TO DATE THE WHOLE PERSON. We all have things about the opposite sex that catch our attention, but it is our full personality that either draws us in closer or pushes us away from a new person we are meeting/interacting with for the first time. Once you know why you are attracted to the person, they naturally become more and more physically attractive to you - the chemistry sparks - but it isn't necessarily because specific physical features. Yes, many people have their preferences, or what they lean towards, but bottom line, if you can't accept the WHOLE person - it doesn't matter what they look like.

No one is exempt from being an *kitten* - you can be a teddy bear, tall, short, lean, frumpy, buff, body builder, pear shaped, hour glass - bottom line, if people are not giving others the time of day it isn't necessarily about PHYSICAL APPEARANCE. Maybe it is because the person is carrying themselves in a certain way? Body language is huge. Body language is what also draws us in to talk to someone or not to talk to someone. If someone is opening a door of opportunity to speak to you, but their body language is screaming things that are red flags to you, it doesn't matter what they look like.

I met my husband online dating.

I dated / met many different body types of men.

Personally I'm not attracted to skinny men. I like either average to thicker with a bit of chub is okay. Im not attracted to obese men.

I think there is probably just as much bias towards women that are overweight, as there is to men.

On the online dating...you just got to take it with a grain of salt, roll with the good and the not so good....and you never know...you might just meet the one.

I think one of the biggest turnoffs was people that posted a picture and represented themselves..50 or 75 pounds and 15 years ago....

Lol Thank you Cheri! Amen to your post also! Very well written, props to you!!

My husband is about 6'2" and 250 lbs. I love everything about him. We met on match.com.

Handsome and confident work at any size. In fact, i'd pick a really big guy over a skinny hipster type any day.

I LOVE Men Period I don't Discriminate :-)

how do it delete this?

So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chissled athletic guys would get from you?

I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

DONT LET THE THREAD SIT, BE A VOICE BE ACTIVE, SHARE!!!!

I'm 28. I've dated 3 guys my entire life. 2 of those guys were teddy bears, and my husband has a berr gut (even tho he doesn't drink beer). I was with the other 2, because I liked their personality. Yes, I was in high school. I've never dated an actual "fit" guy, although my ex did go into the military at the end of our relationship. He broke up with me while we were both in boot camp. Yeah, *I* got the dreaded "Dear John" letter. We're also still friends. The other guy, I talk to his sister more than I do him. We've one separate ways. Neither of those guys have kids of their own, and I have 4. It's difficult now to really hold conversations with either, because I have a tendency to gravitate towards talking about kid stuff, and neither of them can relate.

I do have 1 friend, whom I probably would've dated in high school had I not been with the other 2 guys at some point. He is most definitely obese and always has been. His entire family is, actually. He's a great guy. Even after high school, we didn't end up dating because his parents wouldn't have approved of me. We don't share a religion, and he's honestly looking for someone whom he can take home to his parents. He has a girlfriend, and honestly, all of our friends have been waiting for 10+ years for these 2 to get together. I hope they end up happily married. He's a good guy, circumstances just didn't play the cards for us to be together.

My husband was skinny when we got together, but it wasn't from athletics. He is a former junkie, and still had the body of it. He's been clean since before we got together, and is much healthier now than he was then, even though he is overweight. And in high school, I didn't give him the time of day. Now, I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's a great father, and a great man. And I don't let his past taint what he is now.

You seem to have a hard time with the stereotype that all women go for fit, buff, skinny men. We don't all go for looks over personality.

Personalities can make or break a person. You can have an extremely society attractive man/woman walk up to you, and then he/she opens his/her mouth and you are running the other way. And on the opposite spectrum you can have an average looking guy/gal, or even not so average looking, who can start a conversation with you and before you know it he/she starts to become more attractive the longer you talk to him/her.


^ this a million times over xx

I married my teddy bear! At his heaviest he was about 280. We're both eating better these days. I was causally dating when I met him. We hung out and I can honestly say I'm not sure why we connected so well, but I can say I was massively attracted to him. I likened it to getting hit by a truck while walking along minding my own business! He's kind and funny under his gruff and scruffy exterior. I had dated thinner guys and it didn't ever go anywhere. I love my scruffy bear!