Men! What motivated you? I need your help!

Back in 2007, I just got tired of being fat. I had to undo my pants in order to tie my shoes. My wife, at the time was severely obese, and sick all the time, so when she started dieting, I decided I should too. I read Body For Life, and followed that program with great results. It is pretty simple, and I didn't have to count calories. It is just restrictive on what you can eat.

I started MFP after my divorce. I saw the phone app, and decided to try counting calories instead. I had a hard time motivating myself, and it wasn't until my employer started a weight loss program giving us financial incentives, and money back on our insurance premiums that I got motivated, again. Money is a BIG motivator for me.

I joined so my hot MFP using wife wouldnt move outta my tax bracket if you get what im getting at..lolol

i don't know how much weight you think he has to lose, but if it's 50lbs or more... schedule him a doctors appointment.

for a lot of us, we feel invincible all of our lives. however, when you get that wake-up call from a doctor telling you that you're heading for serious health complications not too far down the road if you don't make some changes now, it has an impact.

I'm middle-aged and my annual Doctor's appointment was an eye-opener for me. My blood levels were bad for cholesterol, blood sugar, and triglycerides and my blood pressure was borderline. The doctor said I had a syndrome that would result in dire consequences if I didn't do something. He suggested bariatric surgery as an option. That did it for me. I stopped denying how fat I was and got to work. 80 pounds later, I look much better, feel much better and believe that I've extended my life. Absolutely no downside to losing weight.

For me it was more about wanting to change myself. A friend introduced me to MyFitnessPal and I decided I wanted to give it a go. After I started getting some results it motivated me to stick with it and now in well under a year I've lost 46lb! (A result of which I am so far very proud of.. Hopefully more to come though)

I think you've really got to be in the right mindset to want to stick with it and lose it, I know i wasn't for years of my life but I certainly am now.

I would however recommend showing him some before and after's because they still inspire me when I look at them

For me I was trying to deal with a number of mental and emotional issues, and the weight loss and fitness gave me something to focus on, now my mental and emotional side of things has improved I am determined to keep going with the other stuff so that I can be the person have always wanted to be.

For me it was a mixture of things. At first it was my desire to change, without which you won't get particularly far in my opinion. Then as I started seeing results, the praise I receive(d) just pushes you to carry on. Also, setting yourself mini-goals along the way also helps (NSVs as well as weight goals too). Sometimes I do feel as if MFP is more suited to women, but it's a great tool to use once you really get into it.

Ultimately it's impossible to motivate someone else. I was in your shoes when I first started here. I finally felt like I'd found something that would work and was sustainable and because I love her, I really wanted my wife to join too. She had all the typical reactions: it will be a pain to log my food, I don't think it will help, nothing's ever worked before, I don't want to give up the foods I love, etc.

What ultimately got her off the fence, I think, was not my nagging, but simply seeing the success I was having, and me making a conscious effort to sneak in hints about how little time it took to log. (Not like "see, honey, it only took 2 minutes", but more like "I'll be right back, I have to log my food", and then returning in 2 minutes.)

She decided to "try" it, but said if it was a pain, she wouldn't do it anymore. Now. she's just as hooked as I am.

The bottom line is that no one can motivate another to lose weight. You either want to do it or you don't and if you don't, no amount of nagging will change that. Give him time and perhaps him seeing your success and healthier behaviors will make him recognize that it might work for him too.

I wanted to save my own life, i wanted to be there for my wife and i when we have kids i want to be able to run around with them and play. I don't want to go to an early grave. So i fought tooth and nail to get where i am. In the end it was the love for my wife that motivated me to get in shape. It's been working great so far

for me it took a while, but I wanted to lose weight for years, then I tried to push my wife who wanted to until we eventually joined WW for a while, and that got us started.
Though to be honest I was still lacking motivation, not eating the right stuff, fitting in the points but that was about it.

No the real kicker was when I started doing sports with my daughter that was something like 6 years old back then. I could not keep up! I could run faster etc... but on the long run she was much better than I am.
So I understood that I was not a good father/example and would eventually live shorter than I should and in a shape that does not make life enjoyable.

SO I started training with the beachbody programs to get up to speed for a while. mostly P90X, but I also picked up activities I wanted to do as well. Martial arts and running, plus kitesurfing when I can.

That in turn got me to start thinking about what I was eating. Eating crap would leave me with less energy and all... and I also started MFP around that time and started reading more about food and everything related.
Basically I started to have a passion for everything related to being healthy because I could see how it translated into my own life.

Trying to push him wont work, he has to see the benefits and understand why he wants to do it and then understand the effects it has on him. (I've run half marathons since and aiming for a full one soon, when a year ago I hated running with a passion and had never run more than 15 minutes in a row without stopping in my entire life!)

My doctor initially motivated in April 2012 when I was told I was overweight and pre-diabetic - when I got healthy and seeing a nutritionist regularly - the nutritionist told me to log my foods and I did so in excel spreadsheets for months... till she said that MFP would be much easier for her to look at and analyze my diet.

I am also having kids this year and I am 40 - I want to age as gracefully as possible and prevent injury.

When I started I just did cardio (eventually got into weights etc) but it was first with things I loved -- like riding my bike on a sunny day and playing tennis.

I would say instead of just looking for workouts, if he is not motivated ask him what sports if any look like fun. Even walking can be refreshing and good at clearing one's head.

Good luck to both of you!

Divorce him. He'll suddenly find motivation.

True story.

Or he will be happy because his wife is no longer nagging him!!!!

OP: Seriously, this is HIS journey, not your journey for him.

Your quiet example of fitness (and you look great!) is the best thing that you can do. Make the household condusive, but not overbearing, with regard to fitness.

our motivators are all very personal. Mine: family heart disease and i have kids... someone else wants to look better than his peer group, someone else is training for a marathon....

As they say, 'the teacher arrives when the student is ready'

Good luck and keep up on your journey!

Got to find something that's "real." This nebulous "I want to be more fit" didn't ever do anything for me. My list of motivators:

1. Being able to play with the kids in the back yard for more than 47 seconds without getting tired.
2. Being able to walk into *ANY* store in the mall and buy clothes (W31x32 pants are harder to find than you'd think...I've made my goal but missed it, too!)
3. I can now go sky diving if I really want to.
4. Find a non-food fitness goal - for me, it was running a long-distance race. Not a 5K, a *LONG* distance race. Think Half-Marathon. then PAY FOR THE ONE YOU WANT. Get money involved, it's the ultimate motivator.

And do what you feel is "OK." 80-90 percent of your work is going to be calories in. Not so much specific macros or how much exercise, but calories in. Keep eating things you like, things you want. Keep your calories in check. Pre-measure and put things away. Make it difficult to take a second helping and keep things under control.

That's it. My list of "**** I did to lose the weight."

On the issue of using MFP, my wife suggested it to me and I scoffed at her because it sounded like a huge pain in the butt. I thought I could exercise enough to eat what I wanted. It took me not getting the results I wanted to eventually turn back to it. So he may come around given some time.

On the issue of motivation, my wife was my motivation. She said she loved me and was attracted to me no matter what. I honestly wish she would have told me that I was getting fat and gross. That would have probably motivated me to get it in gear much sooner. Luckily I was smart enough to know the truth; a beer gut is not a turn on. I realized it was my obligation to work as hard as possible to be healthy and attractive for my wife and myself. Laziness is not an excuse.

It started with learning to love working out again. I used P90X at first and although it about killed me at first, I learned to love it. Now P90X and other videos are not at all the best way to improve your body composition (see heavy weight lifting for that) , but they can be helpful for people who need some motivation. My wife was very supportive and would make comments about me looking sexier; that was a huge motivation to keep going and not fail. Now I'm an avid runner and lift weights regularly. Watching what I eat and working out are just an easy normal part of my routine now.

Men are different than women. So what I'm about to say doesn't work at all for women. So your husband gets pissed off about having trouble losing weight? Good. Tell him to channel that anger into strength lifting heavy weights. Channel it into resolve to stay within a calorie goal. At first your mantra must be "I will not give up." And he must understand that results take time. Early results take months; transformations can take years. Don't let him be like some of the naive people on here who think that because they lost 10 lbs of water weight in the first few weeks, they should expect those results to extrapolate for the next 3 months. I didn't even look at a scale for 3 months and I'd suggest he do the same. When your pants start getting loose you'll know it's working.

I had my wife take a picture of me and used the picture as my phone wallpaper. That was enough for me. I joined MFP and started walking everyday on my breaks. I took up cycling on the weekends and haven't looked back.

Ultimately he is going to have to want it for himself.

Love the fact that you are trying to motivate him to better himself. But until he decides that he wants to do it, there is nothing that you can do. You have to be self motivated to lose weight as I have learned the last 2 years.

I agree with this. Trying to motivate someone else to lose weight can be a tricky thing, and it's very easy to overstep and cause resentment. If you're going to be successful, you really need to find your own motivation. For me it was when I realized that I was avoiding social situations with friends because I was embarrased about my weight, and that I couldn't walk around the block without getting winded.

I'm not sure how much weight that your husband needs to lose, but something as simple as going for a walk every day is a great way to start. My dad is diabetic, and is borderline obsessive about going for walks. As soon as he found out that I was walking, it became our daily routine. It's been a great bonding experience, and I find that I'm far less likely to skip the walk when I'm going with someone else.

If he's going to check out these forums, you might want to point him to this thread:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/760588-guys-only-show-me-your-before-and-afters

Simply amazing transformations. Hopefully when I've reached my goal I'll be able to add to that thread one day.