Teddy Bear Types, Ladies and Dating?

The inscription on my husband's ring reads 'to my TeddyBear", so clearly I have no problem with the Teddy Bear type and as far as I can recall there was only once in my life that I chose to date a man purely because of his looks. He, bless his soul, had absolutely no clue that he was as gorgeous as he was.

Anyway, I dated men on personality and sex appeal and both those things come in a wide variety of packages.

That's right! You tell those awful mean skinny people who's boss! You put them in their place! They're just so...skinny!!!

Personal opinion - I'm not a size 2, so why should I expect a guy to be skinny as hell either?

But in all seriousness - there's a difference between a bigger guy that's active and a bigger guy that sits on his *kitten* all day! You can see 2 people both weighing 300 pounds. One's lazy and the other is a NFL lineman. Big difference. I have no qualms about dating a bigger guy...but if he's lazy and can't keep up with me... well then that isn't about size, it's about the personal choices!

Yea what she said! If i am working on being a healthier person so should you! I'm not a fan of bumping bellies in the bed room! My tummy is enough and if i'm trying to get rid of it and you arent.....Not good.

I like thick built men not fat sloppy men.

So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chissled athletic guys would get from you?

I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

DONT LET THE THREAD SIT, BE A VOICE BE ACTIVE, SHARE!!!!

It's not prejudice to not be attracted to overweight people, it's preference, no one can help with what they find attractive or what turns them on, it's a natural thing you can't program it.

You seem to have divided slim people and overweight people, which is ridiculous, people personalites are what they are, your not one way or another according to your size!!

So, NO I don't see what you're getting at at all.

My fit guy is still with me 15 years on.

lol @ "teddy bear type"

I've dated teddy bear types and guys that can't put a pound on their stick thin bodies to save their life, and all shapes in between.

Their body type had nothing to do with why I was dating them... That being said- I would not date a man who was overweight because he chooses to be unhealthy- sitting on the couch all day eating junk food. That's not the kind of partner I'm interested in. There's a difference between lazy and big but active.

So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chisled athletic guys would get from you?

I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

DONT LET THE THREAD SIT, BE A VOICE BE ACTIVE, SHARE!!!!

Weight and looks didn't matter to me when I was dating. What mattered were the other things I was looking for -- high intelligence, self-sufficiency, sense of fun, sense of adventure -- you get the picture. I also don't watch sports, so anyone whose noted that as their sole hobby was not someone I chose to date.

In the beginning, I messaged everyone back who messaged me. However, the guys I said "no" to often then badgered me, trying to talk me into something I wasn't interested in. They often thought it was about their appearance (but that was not ever the case because if I like you, you will look good; it's the way my mind works). So...after the first month of trying online dating, if I wasn't interested, I didn't message back.

And I was older, overweight, somewhat self-assertive and middlingly attractive...the young ones have to deal with way more of this stuff.

As it is, if you are heavier, even if you meet other criteria, active people are afraid you won't be able to keep up.

Do you message the "teddy bear" type women (ie., are you guilty of the same thing you're worried about women assuming about you)?

There are also plenty of athletic guys who are adorably nice, so don't assume that a woman who dates someone like that is going to dumped because he looks good. The cheaters come from all ranks of men, not just the good-looking ones.

PS My preferred type is tall, blonde, Nordic, and muscled (did date a few men who looked that that, too). So of course the man I married is short, dark, Greek, and overweight...and I love the way he looks.

as far as I'm concerned it is far more about personality than looks for me. The guy I'm dating now is a heavier guy (photo in my album), but to me, he is great looking, because he's the whole package as far as being a gentleman, respectful, protective, sweet, loyal, caring, honest, sincere, genuine, etc. I'm a size 2 aspiring fitness model and he's my one-of-a-kind Cowboy.

I like a guy thats either bigger than me or the same size as me. I don't wanna feel more "manly" than him. That being said... I only like the dark haired, dark eyed teddy bears. Blonde hair, blue eyes has never been my thing.

Is it an American phrase? I understand what it means, but we don't really use that phrase in the UK. We would just say "overweight."

We like to BS ourselves over here across the pond.

I like my guys with a layer of fat. Super athletic types don't attract me sexually, but I admire them for all the hard work and dedication!
It's all about the face and personality for me.

You can't force attraction. Either people do it for you or they don't. I think a lot of whether a "teddy bear type" gets attention is how they are presented. A dating site, for example, may not be terribly friendly to heavier people because people tend to "shop" and they look for whoever they think is more of a physical ideal, discounting those guys who may be simply amazing on the basis of looks alone. It's completely unfair, but it's been happening to bigger women FOREVER. I've always been more of a personality girl myself and I ended up married to a big teddy bear, who is both attractive and a wonderful human being. That said, I met him in person & got to know him. I can't say for sure that I would have picked him out of a line up on a dating site. I'd like to think I would have, but one can never really know. Honestly, if you're being discounted on the basis of looks consider yourself lucky. You'll be free to find someone who truly appreciates you and all you have to offer, it may just take a little longer.

It's all about personal preference. Personally, I'm just attracted to men who are thinner but one of my closest friends is attracted to men who are the teddy bear type. And it's not that I wouldn't date a man just because of his weight (I mean, who I am I to talk. I'm definitely not a size 2) For me it's about personality, and my fiance has the personality and physical characteristics that I adore.

I love teddy bear types...as long as they don't sit on their @sses and play video games most of their waking hours! I actually don't like skinny guys, muscular or otherwise, because I feel like they'd break if I hugged them!

I am actually more attracted to the heavier weight teddy bear types. they tend to be the ones I graviate towards.

I think for most ladies they seem to be more attracted to the thinner types and forget that the beauty of a person is their personality and a kind heart and that it reflects their outer beauty also.

I think you're wrong. Most ladies go for men that they can laugh with and be themselves with, and they go for men that treat them with respect. I think you need to go out and meet more women.

ETA: My husband has been bald and chubby since we first started dating, and since then he's gotten balder and chubbier and I never think to myself that I wish he looked different. I started dating him because he made me laugh, not because of his looks.