HOW is it selfish?

It's selfish for me to not have kids because I would be the greatest parent ever (I would even get a coffee mug which stated just that), and my children would be so wonderful and clever that looking at them with the naked eye would be dangerous, because of their brightness.

Oh well. Sorry, Earth.

I'm sending you a kid and a mug. Grats.

I have to MAKE the kid. I'll cheerfully accept the mug, though.

Just tell them I've had your share. I've got five lol

for someone to NOT have children....?

In my particular case, it seems more selfish for someone to have children knowing a) so many are without homes and families, b) i wouldn't be a very good parent, c) and the worst I've ever seen - "all my friends are having them, so I feel like it's time for me/us"

Lucky me, I found a man who feels the same way. Before we met, he'd had a vasectomy and I opted for elective sterilization. Every time we encounter "the question", we just look at each other and smile. It's an individual and very personal decision, and we have embraced the opportunity to decide for ourselves - regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I have been told that I am selfish for wanting another child. I have a beautiful little girl and two awesome step sons and I want another. People will say I am tempting fate by wanting to have another child because I already have three perfectly healthy children and if I have another they could have all sorts of birth defects or deformities. What kind of BS is that?? SMH some people are just judgmental, negative a&*holes.

To have children or not is a personal choice. I don't fault any of my friends for not having children and they don't fault me for having them and wanting to expand my family further. Live and let live.

I don't think selfish is the right word...I personally can't wrap my head around the lack of desire to have children. That being said, a friend of mine had a hysterectomy before having children. That having been said, it was HER choice...

First of all, as a early childhood teacher, trust me...NOT EVERYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE CHILDREN. Personally, I feel that not everyone has that urge to reproduce and that is fine. To each their own. If you do not feel like you want children, then that is that. People who have kids and say you are being selfish, are most likely wishing they had either waited longer to have theirs or just want/need a break from parenthood and are jelous of your freedom! I have a friend who is excellent with my children, but does not have any of her own. She loves kids, but does not feel she wants any of her own. I respect that, and love the fact that when we get together she will "mother" my kids and give me a break! Other friends who do not have kids and are not good with kids, I just do not bring my kids when we hang out, and they respect that I will call and check in on them at least once during the time we are out.
Some people are just soft in the head and do not realize that the choices they make differ from the choices that others desire to make.

It isn't. Being selfish is putting your own needs and desires above the needs and desires of someone else. There isn't anyone else for you to be putting your needs and desires above, so by definition it's not selfish to not have kids. End of story.

thats so annoying !!!! i hear that all the time!! glad I'm not the only one. i do not want to have kids... ever.... i think its exactly the opposite of being selfish!! the world sucks!! im not raising a kid in this F'd up place. I like my freedom, independance and money. Id rather travel the world with my partner and not be tied down. i guess that sounds selfish, but the alt ernative would be worse. i know i dont want to be a parent, so being forced into it just because, is stupid and selfish.

hahaha . ... since when does having children mean you can't travel and have money? I have been traveling since I was 1 month old. I've traveled the whole world and continue to do so. My son was very well behaved . never cried, was quiet every time we flew. People were stunned to find out a child was sitting behind them on the plane! He was not allowed to touch anything in front of him .. no seat. I handled the tray .. once down .. once up. that's it.

We travel at least 6 times a year internationally .. sitting in long haul flights up to 13-14 hours at a time. Yes .. he's 18 now and I don't have to worry.. but I will see and experience the world .. with my child. (Probably soon I won't be traveling as much with him as he's off to college now)

I've.. no .. we've traveled the world over .. and I had no qualms in making arrangements to go off and have my adult fun on those travels. There's always something to do and experience and the kids don't have to be in your charge 24/7! There are things you can do to have them with you in country .. but not glued to your side. But .. they can learn proper manners and behavior in public when exposed to various conditions frequently and are taught what is expected of them!

I think that's a bunch of hooey that you can't have fun and independence while having children .. I did everything with mine .. from climbing Mount Kilimanjaro to ice hiking in the Canadian Rockies.. to traveling the through the Amazon and ruins of Belize. He was wonderful .. what a fantastic experience he's had.

He was selected as a Student Ambassador at age 11 and got to travel to all kinds of places for 3-4 weeks at a time .. Japan, UK, Australia .. New Zealand and more.

Don't knock having kids .. but I don't think it means you are selfish for NOT having them. Better that you don't.. I'd suspect you'd never bond and enjoy the wonder of the world through a child's eyes.. the innocent and beautiful .. with no understanding of politics and hypocritical notions.

I don't think it's fair to bash either side .. having or not having children.. There are rotten kids in this world, some from rotten parents.. some just somehow born rotten. There are wonderful children as well .. no one is a cookie cutter example of what's right, wrong, selfish or unselfish

:drinker:

>people with opinions on your choice of childbearing should keep their mouths firmly shut.

Yes! Yes! Yes! We human beans have evolved so we have the choice now whether to become parents or not - you're free to live your life as you wish - enjoy it - be happy.

Well, people can be dumb, and irritating, and want to project THEIR wants on you.

I have two kids, boys. My oldest has a life threatening food allergy to dairy, he and I are both severely gluten intolerant, and he has Autism. Needless to say I have my hands full. But apparently I'm selfish because I won't have Another baby to try for a girl. Really?? You Can't make anyone happy but yourself.

i never wanted kids. i told the world i was going to be barren forever, so never even ask me about it. nobody ever said anything and just assumed that i wasn't having kids. i was never called selfish by anyone. but then low and behold we had an oops. now i have 3 of the little buggers, and me and my hubs do a damn good job in caring for them and raising them to be thoughtful and caring little humans.
on many levels it is probably more selfish to have kids than it is to not have them, especially for those people who want them for the welfare or who just weren't bright enough to not get pregnant (and can't look after themselves, let alone a dependent). but that's a political debate.
wanting kids is like having a sweet tooth- you either want pudding or you don't. you can't be called selfish for either perspective. it just is what it is.
tell whoever is calling you selfish to get effed- and plan your trouble free, exotic holiday to an adults only resort in front of them!

Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.

With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.

Its not. People are stupid.

nope..its not selfish at all..to each its own...i get called things like that all the time because i dont have children...all of my siblings do and im the oldest...but i dont care...ill do it when im ready to and right now i see their struggles...not for me at this point in my life

It ain't selfish to me.

I dislike those people judging childless couples.