HOW is it selfish?
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I know a lot of people who seem to think of their children as insurance policies i.e people who will take care of them when they're old...so maybe whoever is telling you that thinks you are selfish for putting your elderly care onto people who are not your children? I don't know what else they could possibly mean.. People can be so strange.
I get EXACTLY what you are saying I have (almost) four boys, and have constantly heard, "Girls will leave their mother's but boys will take care of them forever and you have all boys, so you should be well taken care of"......kind of makes me feel bad for future daughter in law's if that should be the case...he has to love me, but he has to love his wife a little bit more!
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Also, I think many women - especially who got children too early - feel like they "sacrifised" their youth/party/career years and were stuck with babies at home clinging onto them, while others were out doing whatever they wanted.
So in their eyes because THEY made that sacrifice and you didn't: you look selfish. This is totally bad thinking but some people get some sort of pleasure out of it (like "you suck in a way too dude"). I am just sorry for people who think that way...
I had my children early, I feel it is was the best thing I ever did, my kids are now 16 and 18 and I am 40. I chose to have children because I wanted to and they are the best thing that every happened to me, that was my choice though!!!
Life begins at 40 so they say, well mine is, I am now going on the holidays I dreamt of and probably appreciate them more now than what I would have done 20 years ago.
All choices in life are personal, yes they are selfish but only because you chose them to be for you!!!0 -
I think what bother's me more, is not the fact that it might be seen as selfish but the fact that it stands as a reasonable topic of discussion, to me, it's none of my business, unless someone brings it up on their own.
I don't know, I think in this awesome world we live in, there should just be a list of questions you just don't ask people.0 -
If it makes me selfish for not having kids because I don't like kids, then hell yeah, I'm selfish and I love it!
Also, lulz to the people who have kids commenting on this thread like "it's not selfish but while i'm here, let me tell you all about my kids because i have kids, have i mentioned that i have kids?!"0 -
Are you familiar with the "child free by choice" group?
Yea. im part of it...thanks God. lol0 -
Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.
With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.
Having a child and raising one are two completely different things. It's very easy to become a parent, it's not so easy to be a good parent. The sacrifice you mention is not readily made by many people who fail to take the necessary precautions to NOT have children. That burden is then placed on society. That is incredibly selfish to society, and most of all to the child.0 -
Also, I think many women - especially who got children too early - feel like they "sacrifised" their youth/party/career years and were stuck with babies at home clinging onto them, while others were out doing whatever they wanted.
So in their eyes because THEY made that sacrifice and you didn't: you look selfish. This is totally bad thinking but some people get some sort of pleasure out of it (like "you suck in a way too dude"). I am just sorry for people who think that way...
I had my children early, I feel it is was the best thing I ever did, my kids are now 16 and 18 and I am 40. I chose to have children because I wanted to and they are the best thing that every happened to me, that was my choice though!!!
Life begins at 40 so they say, well mine is, I am now going on the holidays I dreamt of and probably appreciate them more now than what I would have done 20 years ago.
All choices in life are personal, yes they are selfish but only because you chose them to be for you!!!
THANK U...lol0 -
Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.
With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.
:laugh: Thats just silly.
LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ok0 -
my dogs are my kids!! they are better behaved the most peoples human kids :bigsmile:0
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Deleting my comment, because I really don't want a *kitten* storm.
I'll just say I don't want kids, I never will, and I fully admit to being a selfish b*tch.
i thought what you said was right on, but i get that it would have started a *kitten* storm.. too bad we're not more enlightened.
im mad i didnt see it =( lol0 -
WOW...guess SOMEONE will always have something to say. if u can care for the child, dont see how it is selfishI have been told that I am selfish for wanting another child. I have a beautiful little girl and two awesome step sons and I want another. People will say I am tempting fate by wanting to have another child because I already have three perfectly healthy children and if I have another they could have all sorts of birth defects or deformities. What kind of BS is that?? SMH some people are just judgmental, negative a&*holes.
To have children or not is a personal choice. I don't fault any of my friends for not having children and they don't fault me for having them and wanting to expand my family further. Live and let live.0 -
It is not, it is your chocie0
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I get this all the time from my grandma when I say I don't want kids. Granted I'm only going to be turning 20, but it looks the world is becoming more and more messed up as I become older...I don't want to bring a child into this if everything keeps going downhill.0
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Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.
With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.
If the human race depended on me reproducing, I would have a few. The way things are now, I just dont see the need and dont have a desire to.0 -
No idea how it could be selfish not having kids, it doesn't hurt anyone at all. Maybe if the human race were on the brink of extinction, lol.0
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If the only people who had kids were those who really wanted them, those who did would be able to have more kids without worrying about overpopulating, too.
If you see it as a sacrifice, you're doing it wrong.Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now.0 -
thats so annoying !!!! i hear that all the time!! glad I'm not the only one. i do not want to have kids... ever.... i think its exactly the opposite of being selfish!! the world sucks!! im not raising a kid in this F'd up place. I like my freedom, independance and money. Id rather travel the world with my partner and not be tied down. i guess that sounds selfish, but the alt ernative would be worse. i know i dont want to be a parent, so being forced into it just because, is stupid and selfish.
agreed, I feel the same way0 -
It isn't selfish for someone to not have children. And it isn't really selfish for someone to have children.
I don't get this logic.0 -
I and my 11 brothers and sisters (yes you read that correctly) were born by a woman who has kids but has never been a mother. I hate the woman with all my heart, for being so selfish to bring 12 children into this world and throw them to the winds. People like my biological mother are the selfish ones. I grew up without any idea of love and what a family was because of her. Because of that, I believe that people who choose not to have children have every right to make that decision. A child is another life that you are responsible for. Some people are not meant to be parents. I don't know why they should be judged for it.
That being said, I am 9 months pregnant with my first child, and I want to use this opportunity to be the mother I never had. I hated kids until I became pregnant(sorry parents) but I love mine with all my heart. Either way you choose is perfectly fine.0 -
No. I knew when I was in my mid twenties that I didn't want kids and twenty years later I still don't. I think the selfish people are the ones who have more than 2 kids, stretch their resources and the earth's resources as well. For all of you who disagree, glad you have your opinion and I'll keep mine!0
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I dont particularly like kids, i avoid interacting with them as best i can... Just dont have that instinct
my nephews and nieces know im uncomfortable around them but i do try my best with them and they love me anyway lol
i dont really want kids as i enjoy my life as it is.0 -
My husband and I are childless by choice, and I have been called selfish on a couple of occasions by acquaintances for it. I've been told that I'm denying our parents grandchildren.
Whatever.
It's no skin off my back, and I don't give any thought to the opinions of others in this matter.0 -
People say stupid things.... Having children or not is personal, It isn't anyones business. Do want you want to do with your life and be happy in whatever you choose.0
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i'm glad i'm not overpopulating the planet. yes, i have heard that before if i tell someone i don't want kids. fine, then let me have some, scream at them all the time because i can't stand babies or small children, and possibly struggle financially to raise them. that sounds better....oh, wait...0
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In my opinion, it's selfish for people to bring babies into this world and can't provide for them and/or terrible parents!0
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for someone to NOT have children....?
I have seen this on some message boards around the web. People will get torn into because they don't agree with somebody's stance on kids? Seriously? Who the hell are these people?
I don't believe I would ever want kids, and that's the way it is.0 -
and ****, there are a lot of unwanted older kids here in the us, not to mention all of the other babies/children that need to be adopted and get out of third world countries to survive. so if you have children of your own, you're just as selfish.
...is that uncalled for? whoops if it is0 -
My husband and I are childless by choice, and I have been called selfish on a couple of occasions by acquaintances for it. I've been told that I'm denying our parents grandchildren.
Whatever.
It's no skin off my back, and I don't give any thought to the opinions of others in this matter.
Wow, those people are idiotic with the power of a thousand suns.0 -
I haven't been called selfish, but I do get a lot of "Oh, sure, you don't want them NOW" in the most condescending tone imaginable from my extended family. I'm not sure why, since I consider family reunions to be a very effective form of birth control.
I get that I'm 24 and that some women change their minds, but I do have some health issues (shared by my family), and I would hate the person I would be if I chose to bring a child into that. Additionally, I'm "medically unlikely" to be able to conceive. It was the best news a doctor ever gave to me.0 -
"Do you have any kids?"
"No."
"I'm sorry."
I hate that. :grumble:
Then they suggest you adopt... :huh:0
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