Probably going to get slammed for this, but...

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Replies

  • bsix3
    bsix3 Posts: 291
    sounds like she struck a guilty nerve there as well. don't feel bad about it, do something about it!! #ImJustSaying
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    I'm going to venture a guess that she's probably just as self conscious about herself as you are about yourself ... and even though she probably feels good about her progress, I'm sure, as your friend, she always thinks you look great. I mean, if she hasn't seen you in a while, she may not have noticed your gain at all, and is more focused on the fact that it was nice to see an old friend.



    But, I also get the feeling that women would have a lot less trouble with 'vindictive' 'backstabbing' behavior if they stopped assuming everything another woman said and did was out of nastiness and spite.
    ^This. All of this.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    So do you want to get slammed or not?
  • PatrickSwayzesGhost
    PatrickSwayzesGhost Posts: 300 Member
    LOLZ CHIX LOLZ
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    understanding-women.jpeg
  • DamnImASexyBitch
    DamnImASexyBitch Posts: 740 Member
    You're upset she was pleasant to you? *Gasp* that *****. Seriously your bitter and need to get over it.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    Factor in hair, makeup, and clothing, and you may, in fact, have looked great. Gaining (or losing) weight is not the be-all/end-all of your appearance.
  • jenniferrusso7393
    jenniferrusso7393 Posts: 189 Member
    Yeah-- my ex mother in law used to like it when I carrieda little extra weight too... especially in my hips... go figure?
  • clhous03
    clhous03 Posts: 73
    "Guys NEVER have this problem...we just don't care."

    I'm calling BS on that.

    When my husband and I first got married, he put on about 30 pounds. He was extremely thin to start with, 5'10" and 130 pounds, so 30 extra pounds looked GOOD on him, but he was self-conscious about it. I was shocked by how often his male friends would comment, "Wow, you've really put on some weight." It bothered him, and I mean REALLY bothered him. He's back down to 155 now and has told me several times how he hates that he'll never have a 27-inch waist again.

    Don't project, dude. Men get harrassed about their weight, too, just not as often as women. And they are equally concerned about their appearance.
  • Dani76babi
    Dani76babi Posts: 82 Member
    I could tell by the way she said it and how she spent the next few minutes describing how she got in shape that what she said was just a back-handed compliment.

    Or, you could be more self-conscious of your weight, and be negatively projecting your insecurities of your weight onto her happiness in getting fit?

    FYI: There's been quite a few psychological studies on the attractiveness of friends to other friends. You guys said you used to be close friends. She hadn't seen you in awhile. She was probably feeling good and more positive with her own success.

    She probably did think you looked good.


    ^^^^^ Totally this.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    This thread makes me embarrassed that I'm a female.
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
    Tada! SLAM!

    UFC-144-Jackson-vs-Bader.gif
  • Belenwright23
    Belenwright23 Posts: 33
    I could tell by the way she said it and how she spent the next few minutes describing how she got in shape that what she said was just a back-handed compliment.

    Or, you could be more self-conscious of your weight, and be negatively projecting your insecurities of your weight onto her happiness in getting fit?

    FYI: There's been quite a few psychological studies on the attractiveness of friends to other friends. You guys said you used to be close friends. She hadn't seen you in awhile. She was probably feeling good and more positive with her own success.

    She probably did think you looked good.

    I AGREE 100% she probably did think u looked good Jeez i hope i dont come off like this to people when i tell them they look good and they ask me how i loose the weight! You should stop thinking into it too much and be thankful to her for her compliment if you dont think u look good maybe you should focus on working on you ! Not being mean just honest here.
  • Bumdrahp
    Bumdrahp Posts: 1,314 Member
    Damn girl, you have gotten fatter - you should really get to a gym.


    You're welcome.

    omg, i almost tinkled!
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    "You look great" could have meant you have a happy sparkle in your eye. Or your skin looks good. Or your outfit rocks. Or your hair came out perfect today.

    You can be overweight and look great.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    giiiirl, stop being a fu*king fatty and get your *kitten* the the gym!! And eat right!! It aint that hard!! You can do it if you put your mind to it!
  • _Witsy_
    _Witsy_ Posts: 609 Member
    I'd be willing to bet your feelings would be equally hurt if she had said "wow you look like you got fatter. Join a gym, yo!"..especially from the stand point of someone who has lost weight themselves.

    Seems like you aren't happy with your weight...sure you feel like she gave you a backhanded compliment but that's your problem, not hers...
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Maybe, kust maybe you look healthy and carry your weight well...size or weight does not have anything with how you look....just my opinion....
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I agree with those that say you are projecting your issues.
  • stephanieb72
    stephanieb72 Posts: 390 Member
    so being heavy = looking bad? She didn't say hey girl you look so skinny, did she? Why does her compliment, in your mind, have to do only with your size?
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Factor in hair, makeup, and clothing, and you may, in fact, have looked great. Gaining (or losing) weight is not the be-all/end-all of your appearance.

    One of the best answers in the thread.
  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
    If anybody said to me I had put on weight and should get to the gym I would punch them in the face :angry:. Call me old fashioned lol
  • Belenwright23
    Belenwright23 Posts: 33
    So do you want to get slammed or not?


    HAHAHAHAH THIS^^^^^^^
  • Poods71
    Poods71 Posts: 502 Member
    How dare she compliment you.....She's a total hag. :huh:


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,322 Member
    Lose-Lose Situation.

    My thoughts exactly.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I could tell by the way she said it and how she spent the next few minutes describing how she got in shape that what she said was just a back-handed compliment.

    Or, you could be more self-conscious of your weight, and be negatively projecting your insecurities of your weight onto her happiness in getting fit?

    FYI: There's been quite a few psychological studies on the attractiveness of friends to other friends. You guys said you used to be close friends. She hadn't seen you in awhile. She was probably feeling good and more positive with her own success.

    She probably did think you looked good.

    I agree with the above.

    And friends generally see us totally differently to how we see ourselves.
  • desiv2
    desiv2 Posts: 651 Member
    I feel like your being too sensitive. So what, she didn't feel comfortable telling you that you gained weight, but even them, what makes you think she didn't think you looked good? Also, if she had lost weight she should be able to brag a little to her friends without them getting upset... Idk I'm too laid back for this crap.
  • tweetz78
    tweetz78 Posts: 7
    dont worry about what others say or do you do what you feel is right for you. there is a guy at work that constantly makes comments about my weight and saying things like "wow im surprised at your size that you can out pick all of us guys" fyi im the only female picker in the entire warehouse for all 3 shifts. my answer to him " yeah its because im not in the bathroom admiring my muscles every 5 minutes" just let it roll off.
  • meaningful99
    meaningful99 Posts: 174
    Every person is entitled to her own feelings, but a world where people tell each other they look terrible and give unsolicited exercise advice is not a world I want to live in. Good manners are one of the things that separate us from the rest of the animals.
  • Siege_Tank
    Siege_Tank Posts: 781 Member
    Seems like your friend had 3 choices...

    1. Cut the red wire
    2. Cut the blue wire
    3. Tell the bomb it was pretty

    "oh hey! I haven't seen you in so long! you look like you ate a house!"

    OR

    "hey! How have you been I've missed you!"

    OR

    "You're so pretty!"

    I know which one I'd Choose:

    "Cake is delicious."

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