Why are so many women SCARED of weights? LMAO.

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  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
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    I'm not afraid of heavy weights at all. I want to do squats and deadlifts over 100 lbs, hip thrusts and glute bridges... I actually want to add mass and not lose weight since I already am small and a size 0. I want to work my *kitten* and add at least 1 inch (preferably more to my *kitten*). I am so into getting a bigger butt that I plan to work out my *kitten* and legs 3x a week!

    I like heavy weights. My problem is that I do not like being the only woman in the weight room! I am naturally a self conscious person so I ALWAYS feel like everything is about me and everyone is staring at me but it's 100x magnified in the gym. I hate being around a bunch of dudes; I don't feel intimidated at all since I am in great shape and strong for my size but I get ANNOYED being the only female and being surrounded by a bunch of guys. It irritates me.

    I also feel like they feel like its their territory and that they own it (even though they don't, we all pay the same membership fee). I am paranoid and do have anxiety so it's probably all in my own head; however I THINK that THEY Think that it is their "territory" and when they see me it's like "wtf is this woman doing here?" or "Did you wander in the wrong section" or "get back to cardio downstairs where you belong." Perhaps that's not what they are thinking at all but my anxiety gives the impression that they may think that.

    My plan is to just keep ear pods on, look super mean/angry, get into beast mode and never make eye contact or talk to anyone (I don't talk to people in general anyways since I'm not a social person). If someone dares to stare at me I won't back down and stare back until they look away first. I may be small in size but I won't let anyone think they can dominate me.

    It would be so much better if there were MORE WOMEN in the weight room.

    So the point is that I am not afraid of weights! I just don't want to be around SO MANY dudes. It's not that I'm intimidated; it just annoys me!

    This. Completely.
  • AKosky585
    AKosky585 Posts: 607 Member
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    For me, it is honestly intimidation. I would love to go to the gym and lift, but I am in a sense clueless, cannot afford a trainer, and don't want to get in peoples way who know what they are doing and are waiting for a weight machine or set of free weights. The only time I can go is after work, peak time, when it is busy.
  • brunetteavoxgirl
    brunetteavoxgirl Posts: 88 Member
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    I do weights, but I just started, so I'm the little weakling right now.
    I'm not scared. I'm just a weak baby duck.

    But I can kick some *kitten* at Zumba.
  • bmstee03
    bmstee03 Posts: 119 Member
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    At my particular gym the weight room is seperate and overflowing with puffed up men. It is scary to walk into a room full of men as the only female and try to figure out the machine, weights, etc. when you have no prior experience. I have braved it a few times, but feel really stupid because I think I'm doing it wrong.
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
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    Don't forget to blame the men. Especially when they're more interested in the mirror than you for the most part. There's no rope keeping you out. Stop using it as an excuse, because that's all it is.
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    I get ANNOYED being the only female and being surrounded by a bunch of guys. It irritates me.

    I also feel like they feel like its their territory and that they own it (even though they don't, we all pay the same membership fee). I am paranoid and do have anxiety so it's probably all in my own head; however I THINK that THEY Think that it is their "territory" and when they see me it's like "wtf is this woman doing here?" or "Did you wander in the wrong section" or "get back to cardio downstairs where you belong." Perhaps that's not what they are thinking at all but my anxiety gives the impression that they may think that.


    Take it from a guy - unless the guys at your gym are complete POSes, yes, it is all in your head. In fact, most of us actually like women in the heavy lifting section of the gym. As long as you're serious about it - meaning not doing half-reps while looking around - "we" would love you have you there working with us.
  • altinker
    altinker Posts: 173
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    I love weights. I used to lift, and I wasn't bulky. I was strong and lean. Over the years, I've kind of half-assed it, and I work on a computer all day. I have so much occupational tension in my neck, shoulders, and upper back that when I lift, I get migraines and tension headaches that make me hate my life. It is really hard to get/find proper stretches for those areas. So, I've chosen to do strength training in more gentle ways that my body can handle. I don't get results as quickly as I would with weights though.

    So, I do barre for strength training instead. Many women I know just do cardio, and they are skinny fat.
  • I dont know what gym you go to but the gym I go to is full of women lifting weights, even the weight lifting classes are full of women.

    I did a 400lb leg press yesterday, bulding up to 800lbs
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
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    Over the years, I've kind of half-assed it, and I work on a computer all day. I have so much occupational tension in my neck, shoulders, and upper back that when I lift, I get migraines and tension headaches that make me hate my life.


    Huh... I have/had the exact opposite thing happen. I, too, work at a desk most of the day. I used to have a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders - not to mention some bad headaches, as a result - but found that - since I've been lifting heavy and routinely - that most of my issues have subsided. Probably just an individual thing.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    Several reasons. Self-conciousness. When I'm in a class I am one of the faceless masses. Also if I screw up a move, no biggie (plenty of people skip moves, are out of sync or don't go deeply into the moves). But on machines, it feels like being in a spotlight, with all my mistakes glaringly obvious to all. Not too mention, a mistake with weights seems more likely to injure me. With a class, the teacher is there to correct my form if I am constantly doing it wrong. With weights, my form may be off a bit, or a lot -- but I wouldn't know.

    It was never about getting 'bulky' (a myth) -- it's about barriers to starting. I guess a good question is, what would make lifting a more popular/attractive workout for me? Duh as it sounds, if it was a class. If I didn't have to wait to use the equipment, if no one was waiting for me to finish so they could have a turn.
  • Controversial
    Controversial Posts: 157 Member
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    Maybe some women still believe this myth, but I know women (including myself) that wish a smaller physique for themselves. There is nothing wrong with that preference.

    Kudos to women who lift heavy. It's not for all though.

    Huh. That's funny, I could swear heavy lifting IS giving me a smaller physique.
  • LJGmom
    LJGmom Posts: 249 Member
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    I think a lot of women (myself included at one point) are unsure of where to start or how to use the equipment and worried that they'll look silly if they have to ask for help (I have to admit, this was a big stumbling block for me!).


    This is me...I don't have a clue, and can't afford a trainer....
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Because women have been told, from birth that they are weak.

    Aww :hugs: I don't know who told you that but it makes me sad.

    Society tells women that. Look at any "women's" magazine cover. It says tone and lose. It doesn't say get strong. Then open said magazine and there will be pictures of 2lb pink weights and trainers like tracy anderson who tell women not to lift heavier than 2lbs.She also says one can spot reduce. *sigh*

    Since when does losing weight and toning = weak??

    I have no idea who Tracy Anderson is. I'm not a huge magazine reader, but I've read more than a few in the past half century. I don't recall ever reading one that said don't use more than 2 lbs of weight, unless perhaps it was talking about during a specific exercise. But weights are not required to be strong.
  • Coffeeholic8
    Coffeeholic8 Posts: 270 Member
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    My lifting partner is a woman, we lift together 5 days a week, and she is the only woman you see in the free weights area at our gym. She lifts heavy, for example she is currently squatting163% of her bodyweight for 5 reps and that is increasing weekly. Does she have a large physic or big muscles? No she doesn't. She is 40 years old, 5' 6", weighs 122lbs and has low body fat. She looks incredibly toned, fit and healthy. Woman of all ages come up to her and compliment her on her physic, especially her arms - there is some serious arm envy going on, and ask how she did it and what they need to do to get the same. She tells them and to a woman they say they don't want to do that because they don't want to "End up looking like Schwarzenegger " or "Get bulky" despite the fact the evidence that won't happen is standing right in front of them.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    I'm not afraid of weights. I know that women don't bulk up easily and I know that lifting has benefits. That said, I'm just not interested. Lifting is painfully boring to me and just generally not worth it. I only exercise to cover my daily slice of cake with it, and weight training just doesn't do that. Besides, I couldn't care less about being strong or building muscle, I just want to be small.

    I find lifting to be somewhat boring. But ... weight lifting has made me significantly smaller, at the same weight. Lifting has made my *kitten* look 20 years younger. Lifting has made me stronger, so I don't injure myself in the course of my everyday life. I don't want osteoarthritis. I don't want to throw out my back cleaning up cat puke (again) or break a hip getting out of bed.

    And I like being able to carry in ALL the groceries in one trip. I like being able to effortlessly toss the jumbo box of cat litter from the shelf to the cart and from the cart to my car and from my car to my house. I like not having to depend on anyone to pick things up or move them for me.

    Boring? So what? Flossing my teeth is boring. Paying bills is boring. Laundry and dishes are boring. Not everything in life is a thrill a minute excitement. I'm not a child and have to take responsibility for my life, health and body. And lifting is part of that.

    You know what's REALLY boring? Being stuck on the couch or in the bed because you injured yourself doing a mundane task and can't stand up straight without excruciating pain. Been there. Done that. Don't ever want to do it again.

    Same weight, before and after strength training...

    135-front.jpg

    135-back-flex.jpg

    135-back.jpg

    135-side.jpg
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    not scared, not my thing.
  • McAlyna
    McAlyna Posts: 123 Member
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    I'm not afraid of weights. I know that women don't bulk up easily and I know that lifting has benefits. That said, I'm just not interested. Lifting is painfully boring to me and just generally not worth it. I only exercise to cover my daily slice of cake with it, and weight training just doesn't do that. Besides, I couldn't care less about being strong or building muscle, I just want to be small.

    I find lifting to be somewhat boring. But ... weight lifting has made me significantly smaller, at the same weight. Lifting has made my *kitten* look 20 years younger. Lifting has made me stronger, so I don't injure myself in the course of my everyday life. I don't want osteoarthritis. I don't want to throw out my back cleaning up cat puke (again) or break a hip getting out of bed.

    And I like being able to carry in ALL the groceries in one trip. I like being able to effortlessly toss the jumbo box of cat litter from the shelf to the cart and from the cart to my car and from my car to my house. I like not having to depend on anyone to pick things up or move them for me.

    Boring? So what? Flossing my teeth is boring. Paying bills is boring. Laundry and dishes are boring. Not everything in life is a thrill a minute excitement. I'm not a child and have to take responsibility for my life, health and body. And lifting is part of that.

    You know what's REALLY boring? Being stuck on the couch or in the bed because you injured yourself doing a mundane task and can't stand up straight without excruciating pain. Been there. Done that. Don't ever want to do it again.

    Same weight, before and after strength training...

    135-front.jpg

    135-back-flex.jpg

    135-back.jpg

    135-side.jpg

    ^^This!

    I find cardio is boring to me. I only do it enough to help my calorie intake. I never lifted before but starting November 11, 2012, my first day I started and I fall in love. I have started a 12 weeks program and now having 2 more sessions to finish. I lift 3 days a week for this entire program. Love liftings and how I feel after each workout!
  • xXxHBICxXx
    xXxHBICxXx Posts: 370 Member
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    I do a little of both and I like them both. I enjoy lifting, I feel like its empowering and I like cardio because I know i'm doing it right. Some women prefer to be small in general, some women think that its more womanly to look tiny vs muscular everyone is different everyone likes different things.
  • jfang86
    jfang86 Posts: 19
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    There have been a lot of reasons folks have posted in this thread for why they don't use the weights at the gym. I'm a 5'2" woman. I lift heavy every day I'm at the gym. I am usually one of the only women in the free weight area. Most women stick to the machines, even if they venture outside of the cardio areas.

    My two cents (okay, more like 25 cents):

    1) Free weights do a completely different thing than zumba (or other classes). Free weights build muscle, which helps boost your metabolic rate, promote fat loss, and make you look leaner. They're also badass.

    2) Most men are not looking at you. Most men in the free weight area are just as insecure as the women are. They either are beginners who have no idea what they're doing, or they were beginners once and hung out in the free weight area long enough to have figured out a program they can do. I've seen men with great form, lifting a bunch of weight. And I've seen timid men on entirely biceps-focused programs and terrible lifting form wishing they could hide under a bench because they're so intimidated. In general, though, most people have their earbuds in and are ignoring everyone else around them. They don't really think of the free weights as "their territory", they think of the free weight area as the place that has the weights in it.

    3) Men, when they DO notice a woman in the free weight area, are totally impressed by us. It's true that, unlike my boyfriend, I typically wander into the free weight area and no one feels like they can approach me. My boyfriend has made quite a few friends that are all guys who just struck up conversations with him; nobody has felt like doing that with me. It *did* make me feel a little unwelcome... until my boyfriend told me how one guy he met at the gym randomly said to him in the middle of their conversation, "By the way, dude, your girlfriend is amazing. She lifts more weight than some men. That's just awesome."

    4) It's okay to not lift that much. Every guy started as a beginner with an empty bar. Every single one. So what if you can't lift 300 lbs or you're still learning or whatever? Every lifter was in that boat. People appreciate people who are trying, not people who are afraid to give it a shot.

    5) The internet is amazing. Free weights seem terrifying or dangerous or like you need some form of skill to do them. It does help to have someone show you the ropes. But we live in an internet age where there are youtube self-help videos for everything. There are exactly 4 basic moves you need to learn to start a strength training program, and ALL can be done safely without a spotter -- bench press, squat, deadlift, and row. The internet abounds with videos to show you how to do these exercises heavy and with good form. The squat rack will safely spot you in a barbell squat, and dumbbell versions of all four exercises are basically spotter proof, especially at the light weights that most beginners start at. If you still feel insecure, most gyms offer a free training session that you can use to check your form and learn these exercises, and in my experience, almost every person in the free weight session of a gym is willing and eager to give form tips and spot people if you ask. ESPECIALLY if you are a girl.

    6) Lifting weights may be boring. And, I definitely don't think you should do things in the gym that you think are dull. But, one could argue that 60 minutes on a treadmill staring at the paint chips on the wall is boring. I find that setting a lifting goal helps with the boredom, the constant stimulation of moving from free weight station to free weight station is mentally stimulating, and that it's hard to be bored when you're straining under a heavy weight close to failure. I find that free weights are boring when they aren't challenging enough; if you're bored, perhaps try adding more weight or building a structured program so that you have a defined goal?

    There's nothing about the Y chromosome that gives men an exclusive pass to free weights and strength training.

    If you're a woman who wants to 1) lose weight, 2) get healthier, and/or 3) want to look fabulous, you should be lifting heavy. We pay for the free weight section too, and we have just as much a right to be there as any guy. Also, we make that lifting stuff look good.
  • apriltrainer
    apriltrainer Posts: 732 Member
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    I think the turning point for me was when I was running marathons to lose the baby weight..and I did lose some weight but the final result? No definition whatsoever.I looked fragile. THe funny thing was..I used to be in the army. Mostly bodyweight strength though. That's what I continued while training for my runs but it wasn't enough. I knew to see the change I wanted I had to lift heavier than what I weighed. And frankly...the weight room scared me. The guys were always taking my bench without asking, even the other women saw a "potential" intruder and would roll their eyes at me.

    So I got a personal trainer so I'd be more comfortable. Best thing i ever did.

    Now I'm a personal trainer..and I will never forget how uncomfortable i felt the first time in the weight room and always make it a point to say hi to the women venturing inside. I want them to know...they are welcome.