Husband unhappy with my weight :(

Why decide now when you are nowhere near goal?? Who knows how you will feel. If you have done this before, this time may be different. Your quest may evolve into fitness instead of a certain weight goal. A number on a scale cannot and should not define you. Like others have said, it is what you want that is most important but I say enjoy this journey instead of thinking so far down the line. Who knows, maybe you will become a fitness junkie and will want to focus on body fat numbers instead. No one can predict the future. Just take care of yourself now. And don't ask your hubby's opinion. Do what you need to do for you.

I'm glad some people have not given plain 'atta girls' to the original poster. While you may not be happy about your husband's feelings on your weight, you haven't shared the context of why he is saying he feels this should be your goal and we haven't heard anything from him. For the people supporting her to be 160 lbs at 5'2", shame on you. She shouldn't be shamed about her weight, but why encourage her to set an unhealthy goal?

I love the woman's suggestion to put a hold on your ultimate goal. For your husband, tell him you will be open to discussion when you hit 160, for yourself, be open to getting closer to your doctor's suggestion than 40+ pounds. But focus on reaching 160 with the possibility of more being within your abilities, because it is.

And how do YOU know that 160lbs for her is an unhealthy goal? You don't. So, don't go shaking your finger at us who are supporting her. SHE knows her body. SHE knows what is comfortable for her and what is a good weight for her (most all of us know what is a good weight for us to be at - regardless of what a doctor or charts or whatever say). I've had people try and tell me 150lbs is unhealthy for me. Pfft. Whatever. Starving myself, fighting my body and having to workout like crazy to meet someone else's "ideal" for me is far more harmful than the 150lbs I'm carrying. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm content. And if someone came along and tried to tell me "Shame on you for setting an unhealthy goal weight", well... I'd throat punch them. Worry about your own weight and your own goals. Let people make the choices that seem best for THEM.

I wouldn't be healthy at 120lbs. I would be too thin and I would look sickly. I look healthy with the extra 30lbs on my frame.

BECAUSE A 5'2 POUND 28 YEAR OLD FEMALE THAT WEIGHS 160 POUNDS IS UNHEALTHILY OVERWEIGHT AND ALMOST OBESE.

AND BECAUSE SHE EVEN TOLD US THAT HER DOCTOR SAID IT IS 35-40 POUNDS TOO MUCH FOR HER

It is not US saying its too big, ITS HER DOCTOR

WTH??? IGNORE HER DOCTOR AND JUST SUPPORT HER?

who are you? what if people told one of your elderly parents this - lol shut up and dont listen to the doctor, you just do what makes you really happy

I completely agree.

Oh good grief.

You do realize she can be 160lbs and be healthy, right? You do realize that not every single person's body HAS to be 120lbs to be healthy, right? *shakes head*

When I first hit my goal weight, my doctor said "Perhaps, we should try losing a little more?". I knew I didn't want to lose more. I asked for him to run blood tests, etc to see where I stood health-wise. You know what? He never said another word about my weight after we ran them all. Everything comes back perfect. There's no reason for me to force myself to an uncomfortable for my body weight of 120lbs just to fit into someone else's standards. If I'm healthy and happy at this weight - why on Earth would I need to force myself to lose more (and let me tell you -- to get to 120lbs, I would have to resort to some pretty unhealthy habits. My body does NOT want to be that small).

You clearly haven't comprehended anything else that was said. YES she can be healthy at 160 lbs. Not everybody HAS to be 120 lbs to be healthy. BUT she could be UNHEALTHY at 160 lbs and should GO TO THE DOCTOR to find out when she has REACHED that weight. To say she wants to be 160 lbs NO MATTER WHAT, is stupid.

And you clearly only comprehend what YOU want to believe.

And to tell her she can ONLY be healthy if she's lower than 160lbs is stupid.

When the Hell did I tell her she can only be healthy if she's lower than 160 lbs? Please quote me, I'd love to see that.

**Crickets**

.. yeah that's what I thought..

It's your body, so it's up to you. If you feel good in the 160s and you're healthy there, that's perfectly fine

Good for you!! This is about you and how you feel about yourself, if your husband really loves you he will accept you the way you are... Never do anything to please anyone if it includes hurting yourself.

I'm sorry, but I just don't understand everybody saying that you should be whatever weight you feel happy at, or you FEEL healthy at.
But what about ACTUAL health? Just because you might feel ok with being 30 lbs more than your ideal weight, doesn't mean that you are ACTUALLY healthy. What about going to the doctor for tests to make sure you are actually healthy?
Shouldn't this all be about being healthy, and not JUST about if we like the way we look? Otherwise, why not say "oh I feel comfortable 50 lbs over weight, so that's fine". No, its not fine - it is unhealthy.

Just cause you are at your ideal weight doesn't mean you are actually healthy. I know a lot of skinny unhealthy people. I also know a some overweight, but healthy people. I run six days a week, eat clean most of the time, and do strength training three days a week, but I am overweight. Doesn't mean I am not healthy, actually my doctor says I have one the healthiest hearts he has ever seen on a EKG.
Sure I want to be 135 not 160, but it doesn't mean I am unhealthy.

ETA: Also, my blood work come back looking great, as well.

first of all, you are absolutely beautiful! and I am sorry that your husband is trying to dictate what he feels like you should weigh. I know for my height i should probably weigh around 130 also. and i have also been around 160 and was also happy with that weight. I know in my heart I will never be a twiggy type girl, nor do i want to be. not saying there is anything wrong with that, but i embrace a little meat and my curves. and you have to be comfortable and confident in your own body, regardless of what anyone else tells you, even if it is your husband. I wish you all the luck in the world!

I'm sorry, but I just don't understand everybody saying that you should be whatever weight you feel happy at, or you FEEL healthy at.
But what about ACTUAL health? Just because you might feel ok with being 30 lbs more than your ideal weight, doesn't mean that you are ACTUALLY healthy. What about going to the doctor for tests to make sure you are actually healthy?
Shouldn't this all be about being healthy, and not JUST about if we like the way we look? Otherwise, why not say "oh I feel comfortable 50 lbs over weight, so that's fine". No, its not fine - it is unhealthy.

Just cause you are at your ideal weight doesn't mean you are actually healthy. I know a lot of skinny unhealthy people. I also know a some overweight, but healthy people. I run six days a week, eat clean most of the time, and do strength training three days a week, but I am overweight. Doesn't mean I am not healthy, actually my doctor says I have one the healthiest hearts he has ever seen on a EKG.
Sure I want to be 135 not 160, but it doesn't mean I am unhealthy.

ETA: Also, my blood work come back looking great, as well.

I agree, and just because someone might feel good 30 lbs "overweight" doesn't mean they are healthy either.

Step one, lose 50 lbs....

I see that everyone is jumping on the husband, but I would like to interject a bit.

I think that it is important to communicate, especially if you have a spouse. Even for uncomfortable issues such as weight gain, there are ways to broach the subject lovingly and tactfully. So if you find yourself a bit off put by your husbands or wifes weight gain I think that a conversation is needed to avoid any long term repercussions. Your husband/wife should still LOVE you regardless, but I believe that physical attraction is a key component for long term happiness.

Same here. I think it's worth talking to your hubby and figuring out why he feels this way; maybe, as another poster suggested, he's worried about your health as well as your comfort level and trying to find the mid-point between the 115 pounds that your doctor recommended and the 160 pounds where you feel comfortable. If he was attracted to you when you were bigger, I'm GUESSING - which is all I can do - that he isn't trying to control or force you to be something or someone you're not comfortable being, and certainly not for his personal preference. However, since you said that you argued about this, then it's also worth talking about because he should understand how YOU feel about this.

Some people also said that after you reach your goal and get used to seeing yourself thinner, you may decide that you want to keep going. If you think that's a possibility, you can share that with your husband; however, I'm not you, and he's not you, and I'm trying to tread carefully and respect you and your wishes. Similarly, so should your S.O.! Just like some people KNOW they won't want children, you may KNOW that you won't want to go any lower than 160 pounds. UNLIKE having children, how much you feel you should weigh is YOUR decision, not a joint decision, UNLESS you need to lose more for medical reasons. If your life is not in direct/immediate danger from being where you want to be, and you're already going to weigh less than when you guys started dating or got married, then he should accept your decision to be healthier and happier than you already are.

Lastly, some people said that once he sees you healthy, happy and confident at your goal weight, he may give up on suggesting a lower weight. That's still a while off, though, so for now try not to fight, and see what happens when you get there!

I'm more concerned that the OP seems to be basing whether or not she's happy on whether or not GUYS think she's hot.

Honestly, you SHOULD only go down to a weight that makes you happy (so long as you're healthy) but using whether or not you get hit on as a gauge for whether or not you're happy is NOT the right idea. You need to be happy in your own skin, with or without that feedback. Honestly, it sounds to me like there are deeper issues...

I picked up on this, too...

and too add to this, it is sad jumping right away to "there are other fish in the sea". I would never talk like that about my husband. He is the man for me, period!! No matter how mad I get at him sometimes, I never say that other guys find me hot. Why add instability to our relationship and play games??? Who cares, I am sure I can find men who find me hot but I am married and those days are long gone and I don't care what people think of me. I do care what I think of myself though and I want to live a long, and healthy life. Like I stated before, why worry about the exact number on the scale now?, you have a very long way to go and anything can happen between now and then. Put the scale away and work on yourself from the inside out.

I lost 180 lbs 4 years ago when I divorced by 180 lb husband - he was always on me about my weight. While I'm not yet at my goal weight somehow I feel so much lighter