Guys that are a 3 trying to be with girls that are an 8...
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Yeah I know I'm just not their cup of tea for some people, regardless of looks... I get that... I'm just frustrated with the prevelance of guys that are a 3 expecting to only date girls who are an 8,9, or 10.
Yeahhhhh because women don't do that? I'd say women are a billion times worse about it in fact since generally speaking men are competing for women. Since women know this even the most "average" girl tends to be insanely picky because she knows she can date up. Also, consider yourself lucky if you think weight is the single biggest factor men look at. It doesn't just stop with weight when it comes to how women judge us guys. We get judged on EVERYTHING. Once, I hit on a girl who told me I had too much chest hair to talk to. Then there's the women who don't mind if you shave your head but don't like it if you're balding. Like that makes sense. That's just the tip of the nonsense criteria iceburg.0 -
Yep. Men are weird in this respect...where they seem to have this sense of entitlement to date whichever woman they want regardless of how much more attractive she is. And the superiority over women. Ugh.
Women are not nearly as shallow regarding the whole looks:personality thing as men are. There are women out there that are 100x better looking than me but will still date me and fall in love with me despite my appearance.
Not that I am saying I look bad or anything, but definitely not a model...0 -
Woah! What's with all the men bashing? I know I came into the thread where the title was clearly stated, but I cannot believe what I am reading in most cases.
You mean to tell me the roll is not, or even never, reversed? C'mon...women do the same...all of the time!
As for me - I wanted and waited for the 8,9,10. I was never a "ladies man" but never had a problem getting a date, and did not discriminate against anyone. I had fun, I think they did too as they told me so and moved on if/when necessary.
As for my SO, she is a great mother, a semi-professional athlete, has a home-based business and keeps my home in order for me and our 4 boys. Yes, she drives me nuts, and I may be the 3 you are talking about, but we are the fit for each other. But I waited, think I did the right thing and have been married to this "8,9,10" for 17 years.
I am convinced that to ***** about something you have all control, or no control over (yes, it is either all or nothing), some serious self reflection needs to take place. Everyone has this inherent right to do so.
And this is the path my son's are taking. They like to have fun, and want to find and be with someone who is the same. They will stay away from the complainers, the self inflicted pity victims and the drama queens. They want a great woman. If that woman is an 8,9,10, so be it. My wife is...and no I am not going to pimp out her picture.0 -
To everyone who's saying they never 'rank' people to see if they fit in their league or not in the dating world... Whether on a looks only basis, combination of looks, personality, finances, etc... even on a pass/fail basis...
Here you go... this is a special gift just for you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9lkxq7tGuY 0 -
Man...I'm going to be burning a lot of calories today...by constantly slamming my head into a wall!0
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In my opinion it comes when you least expect it to. Just let go and have fun. When you stop looking for it, it just might find you.0
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This thread is very very sad.
People need to not take themselves so seriously and to get over themselves.0 -
Do you girls know what I'm talking about or is this just me?
I hope the girls do because I have no clue.
Ranking human beings like that by number is degrading in my opinion. There are no leagues. There is no objective standard of beauty where some people are 3s or 6s or 10s or whatever. That is just advertisers trying to brainwash you.
There are only adults, attraction and differing levels of maturity.
I thought the 'rating' thing went by the wayside after that old Bo Derek Movie, "10." Who DOES that anymore? Or is it that "everything old comes back new again?"
Sorry, but I don't rate guys or gals on their physical appeal. A gal can be a striking beauty on the outside and a total beeyotch on the inside and a guy can be world class gorgeous but one who likes to physically abuse women in his spare time. IMO, these asshats don't even 'rate.'
Doesn't everyone know that the gift inside the package is far more valuable than the pretty gift wrapping?
That said, I have a great looking husband, but what attracted me to him was his kindness, his sense of humor, and his great attitude for life. We've been together for almost 40 years and he is just as 'hot' as he was when we first met, because he still has that kindness, sense of humor, and great attitude.
Look past the physical attributes and see the true person underneath.
Yeah, I know, I know, there are people who still set their standards on the prettiest, the sexiest, the arm candy and that's pretty sad.
I can't help but think of Jodi Arias, who is currently on trial for a horrific murder in which she stabbed her 'boyfriend' 29 times, slit his throat, and then finished him off with a bullet to the head. Pretty packaging, to be sure, but there's ugly underneath. And of course, Ted Bundy...good looking, great future as an attorney. Too bad he viciously murdered countless young women and fried in the electric chair some years ago. Good looks can make for one hell of a facade.
To use an old cliche, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Just maybe those "guys that are a 3" have more kindness and confidence than the gorgeous guy on a magazine cover, and just maybe "girls that are an 8" are as dumb as a sack of hair.0 -
looks are only a very small part of finding a partner. if you are looking for something long term you should try to dig a little deeper. what i mean is, maybe you should date someone who you normally wouldn't get to know. people shouldn't be judged by their looks or place in life. it seems like you expect more from the guys you want to date than you expect from yourself. are you giving guys a chance who fall below a certain number in your book? the older you become the more you'll understand what's important. looks are so secondary. i wish you the best.
if you have already addressed anything i've said then i apologize. i don't feel like reading a bunch of pages right now.0 -
I would rather date a guy who is a '3' and has a great personality then a guy who is a '10' and is an idiot.. Personality should always come before looks!0
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Yea but would you even give a 3 the time of day to get to know his personality? Looks come first.0
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Some guys are dilholes.
LOL haven't heard that one in a while...0 -
I would consider me to be a 7-8 but my personality is a 10+! lol
Honestly, back when I was single, and 320lbs, I didn't have any issues with getting men (and not just DTF). I think that if you only rank yourself a 3 then you will only look like a 1 in some people's eyes. You have to have confidence and if you are dating then you should know the game. Don't just come out being a huge roaring b**ch and think he will truly like you for being "who you are".
As much as some say they don't wanna "play any games"...everyone is playing a game of some sort when they are single. Being it the "hard to get but when I give it I become a Code 9 Clinger", "slutty mistress that slowly becomes a nun when official", "just wanna be friends but I am secretly hoping you marry me -b.s.", etc. etc. etc..
Play the game, snag a good partner, and then become a "slutty huge roaring b**ch". lol. It worked well for me. j/k j/k j/k0 -
Do you girls know what I'm talking about or is this just me?
I hope the girls do because I have no clue.
Ranking human beings like that by number is degrading in my opinion. There are no leagues. There is no objective standard of beauty where some people are 3s or 6s or 10s or whatever. That is just advertisers trying to brainwash you.
There are only adults, attraction and differing levels of maturity.
I thought the 'rating' thing went by the wayside after that old Bo Derek Movie, "10." Who DOES that anymore? Or is it that "everything old comes back new again?"
are you new here?
have you not seen those hundreds of "rate/date/hump/dump me" threads that clutter up this forum constantly??0 -
"We accept the love we think we deserve".0
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<
3....and I'm dating an 8!!! I'm Loven it!!!!0 -
~opens mouth~.........~closes backs out~0
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To be fair-- guys have more ways of becoming "8's," all's it takes is money and confidence0
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I know where your coming from! I have been single for almost a year now and it seems like the guys that I liked whom I thought were on the same attractiveness level as myself always shot me down and went for the 9's or 10's.
Personally I consider myself to be on the higher end of an 8 or so and I know once I am at my goal weight I will be a definite 10...or maybe that is be being overly confident but oh well.0 -
I think my response is very unbiased and non-offensive. Don't attack me if you disagree with what I've posted, please.
Studies done on speed dating show that when asked to fill out a survey about what they want and how they rate themselves, both men and women have the same criteria for what they are looking for in a partner (e.g. kind, stable, attractive, smart…) and were "realistic" in how they rated themselves. HOWEVER, when it came time to choose out of the many people they went on a speed date with, the women only selected partners who were "within their league" and met their criteria list. The men completely disregarded the list and selected a partner that was above a certain "prettiness threshold" they had set in their head. Whether or not any other criteria was met, or if they were "out of their league".
What does it mean? Well, for the people in that particular study (and it was small scale), men will date anything they deem attractive enough to stick their ___ into, and women will go for what they think they deserve.
Being a woman myself and experiencing the dating world, my opinion is that it is a realistic interpretation.
Thoughts?0 -
Yep. Men are weird in this respect...where they seem to have this sense of entitlement to date whichever woman they want regardless of how much more attractive she is. And the superiority over women. Ugh.
I know, it's a huge problem, isn't it? Women feel all entitled to this "monogamy" and "relationship" and "talking" stuff after we have sex, regardless of how much objectively better I am then her -- better job, thinner, stronger, smarter... everything! It's disgusting, I tell you.0 -
Have confidence! You're a 10! Some guys date pretty girls to boost their self-esteem and show off to other people. Like somehow dating someone that others deem attractive makes you a better person? WRONG!
Girls do it too. We are a society based on appearance. I wonder how different dating would be if we were all blind?0 -
Looks are only skin deep and does not equate a healthy, loving relationship.
I am overweight, my husband is tall, skinny with curly hair and glasses. He thinks I am the most beautiful woman on earth and I think he is both handsome and adorable.
I fell in love with him because he is an amazingly kind, generous, sweet, loving person. He loves me for who I am and NOT what I look like. He supports me in everthing I do.
If you are looking for 'the one' and true love you have to stop trying to attract guys who are only looking at the physical and do the same yourself. Look for someone who makes you melt from the goodness that shines through their soul. The guy that will stop over after work with a Feel better soon card and chocolate when you text and say you're having a bad day, the one who will clean the dishes after you cook (or better still will cook for you!), the one who will buy you flowers...just beacuse.
These guys do exist. It took me a long time and dating the wrong type of guys for 8 years to find him, but he was sooo worth it!!0 -
I find when you're fat, it's really easy to blame relationship issues on your looks. It's easier to say "that dude was a douche" than to address the inside stuff. This is, at least, what I've found in the last two years. On-going battle.0
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How do you know the girls they are going for are out of their league? Because YOU rated them a 3 and YOU rated the girl an 8?
Stop rating people by their looks would be your first step.
THIS^^^^ - And is you thought of yourself as a ten as you ought, perhaps you'd attract partners that also felt that way about themselves inside and out and you'd have a blissful relationship. If you're rating based on exterior features you're missing sooooo very much and I urge you to look inside of yourself as well as others. Best of luck to you!0 -
Guilty! lol
i honestly think this works both ways though.
I guess the OP is really refering to her experiences with online dating? I'm pretty shy, but i can communicate pretty well through writting. I thought online dating would be a good way for me to go.
i could probably count on one had the number of connections i made on websites... and i was pretty much giving anyone a try0 -
Based on my past experience:
Girls walk all over nice guys and will leave them in a heart beat for a bad boy. Once they have the bad boy's baby then they look for the nice guy.Id like to know this but from a guys perspective. My best friend in the world is average looking, A drummer, 27 years old and most importantly the nicest man bar my hubby i know. If i were single id marry him. He doesnt seem to be able to get any girls and even when he does they cheat on him.
He recently dated a girl for over a year who to be honest was rough as but she still cheated on him, whats that all about? x0 -
Based on my past experience:
Girls walk all over nice guys and will leave them in a heart beat for a bad boy. Once they have the bad boy's baby then they look for the nice guy.Id like to know this but from a guys perspective. My best friend in the world is average looking, A drummer, 27 years old and most importantly the nicest man bar my hubby i know. If i were single id marry him. He doesnt seem to be able to get any girls and even when he does they cheat on him.
He recently dated a girl for over a year who to be honest was rough as but she still cheated on him, whats that all about? x
Agreed.
Which is why I won't date anyone who has kids. Not again.
I don't want the kids ahole father in my life until the end of time.
Especially as his kids may well grow up to be trouble (I'm a big believer in genetics).0 -
THIS!!! I went on a few dates with a single mom who was recently divorced. The subject of types came up at some point. Though I'm sure she didn't mean it as badly as it sounded, she mentioned how she likes chubby guys now that she was a little older and heavier. She said when she was "young and hotter" she dated mostly bad boys but looks at personality more now. Ladies, that attitude is a little insulting. Basically you'll date me now that you have a kid and you're heavy but when you were young, hot, and baggageless you wouldn't of? Sorry. I don't feel like being sloppy seconds.Based on my past experience:
Girls walk all over nice guys and will leave them in a heart beat for a bad boy. Once they have the bad boy's baby then they look for the nice guy.0
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