STOP IT WITH THE FOOD PUSHING!!!

but just dealing with the nuisance of a food pusher is enough to make me want to go down to the vending machine and go apesh*t on a pack of Reese's Cups!!

This made me laugh really hard. Just stay Strong and say NO! Keep going!

People at my job pretty much know that i eat somewhat healthy, and they'll offer me whatever junk food they tend to bring in on occasion. My reply is a simple "thank you".

I have a co-worker just like that (do we work at the same place :laugh: ). She's so skinny but is always eating things like double cheeseburger, donuts, steak and cheese subs, etc. And she always wants you to eat it (to the point where she'll ask you a dozen times). I tell her 'no thank you' and she then replies "oh yea, that's right you're on your diet" or "sorry, you can't eat that on your diet can you" :huh: . She's a sweethart but annoys the -ish out of me!

Just break up then

Why is the assumption that the skinny girl is trying to sabotage you? Even if she has motivations other than being generous (which, honestly, most people pushing food really just like to offer others food and see them get enjoyment out of it), it's probably more like "I really wish someone else would eat some of this so I wouldn't feel so bad about eating it" instead of "Gotta keep her fat so I'll look better by comparison!" Anyone can suffer from food guilt. Sharing can be a way to assuage that guilt. I get that saying no over and over can be frustrating, but instead of thinking mean things about the skinny girl, try to imagine what her issues and struggles may be, and maybe even talk to her about it.

I agree with this too. Now that I think about it, I'm a bit of a pusher, myself. I LOVE baking but I don't want to eat it all, so I'll bake amazing things and give them away. I want to bake all the things but I need other people to eat them. I'd back off if someone asked me too.

all of this^ I love baking too. My best friend is a lot bigger than me and she just started eating healthier 3-4 months ago and sometimes I just forget that shes "on a diet" or I don't even think about it. I just like to share stuff with people, especially stuff I bake myself.

Hah, I thought this was a post about all the folks on here who insist on telling others to eat their calories back. Not that it works:-)

I come from a long line of food pushers... my brother is the worst - he will hold something up and say "try this" and as you are forming the word "no" (picture it - mouth open in circular formation) he shoves the food in. Now THAT is food pushing

That's when instead of saying no, you kick him in the nuts. He'll stop pretty quick.

Ha! That or spit it on him.

Do people not understand what 'need to vent' means? It means at this stage of the game this is what OP is dealing with and she'd like to hear who else has this same problem and how did they dealt with it. "Just say no" is of course everyones goal so is not a helpful comment - if we could all just magically do that this website wouldn't even exist now would it?

(Sorry, I'm not usually so *****y but the stating the common sense answer as 'help' is getting to me today - 99% of people if asked if they should sit down and eat 2 bags of Doritos in one sitting or not would answer 'not' - that doesn't mean they could actually resist doing it. If they ask for help someone telling them they just shouldn't do that is not helpful. If you want to help people you have to listen to the real question and give them tangible tips for what they are struggling with right that moment, not broad stroke 'obvious' answers. If someone who is working out posts a complaint that when they run their thighs rub together and get chaffed and they ask for suggestions to prevent the chaffing everyones answer isn't "lose weight and they won't rub together anymore" is it? Why does "I have *insert struggle with food here* get answered with "stop having that issue with food"

No really... not this *****y usually. hehe

I appreciate all the feedback and suggestions. I am very glad that I have learned to overcome my weakness for junk food (especially at work!). My main point is that this person is close enough of a friend to know what a struggle it is for me with my weight and making good food choices (she comments on it all the time). And while I would like to think that her intentions are completely innocent and meant in friendship and generosity, I know there are some deep underlying issues that make her unable to stop this. It's not just a random comment here or there, either. It's more like this:

Her: Hey, I have a box of doughnuts over here. Hot 'n' Now light was on!!! You want one?
Me: No, thanks.

30 minutes later
Her: OMG these doughnuts are so good! Come get one!
Me: I just had a yummy bowl of oatmeal and I'm not very hungry. Thanks for offering, though!

30 minutes later
Her: Only a couple of doughnuts left--better come get one before they're gone! Great with a big glass of chocolate milk!
Me: Appreciate you thinking of me but I am really not a big doughnut eater.

I value her friendship but wish I could get her to stop this one thing. Just venting, really. Love all the great comments!!

She's offering them to you because she wants you to cosign her choice to eat 'junk' food, undoubtedly subconsciously. She feels worse about her own choice because you, who is choosing to eat healthy, is saying 'No'. It's pretty simple psychology, actually. Most people's motivations can be traced back to their own feelings about themselves for situations like this- it has nothing to do with you, really.

Yeah that and people tend to explain themselves or offer an excuse for saying no, because they're trying not to offend.

But if you said no for a reason, then they think if they can negate that reason, you'd say yes. So in effect you've invited the other person to negotiate/haggle with you about your decision.

Don't explain yourself. Say, "no thanks" and nothing more. If asked why, and you really feel the need to respond, only answer with a question!
-Want some?
No.
-Why?

Why what?
Z?
Why do you need to know why?
Why do you need me to eat it?
That's a good question, why do you think I don't?
Why does it matter?
How about that local sports team, eh?
Will you turn into a pumpkin if I don't eat it?
(etc)

Lol. Yes. I get offereed food a lot here. I've been in the same office for almost 7 years. I have had to learn how to leave and/or avoid the food conversations and how to turn down food.

Most of the time I just want to say "EWW that cake looks so nasty why are you eveing eating it!??!?!"

The people who have been here with me the whole time have seen me lose a lot of weight but I still don't get into those conversations. It's annoying and a waste of time.

It's super frustrating. my most effect response has been "Ohh noo... I'm so full already or I TOTALLY WOULD! Thanks for offering though!"

I look so nice.....

There are things that I just flat-out refuse to eat, regardless of diet. But I just keep on with the smile and the lie. They don't need to know that I think Italian cake is gross or that I'm allergic to shrimp. OR that I hate any dessert with nuts in it.

vent away missy. You're not alone It's just one of those things in life.

I experienced the same thing, with a coworker. I said "no, thank you." politely and that was not enough. Finally I said, "Sure! Thank you!" Took the ugly nasty pastry and threw it in the trash.

SOLVED.

Later she asked me how it tasted and I told her I threw it away. She couldn't believe it, but she's never offered me her nasty food again.

One of my very slim friends calls me her "eating pal" and says she loves when I'm home because she can binge eat because I'll do it with her...and for some reason I feel badly refusing, if I try to eat healthier she gets very judgmental/ upset. It's so bizarre. Luckily since I've permanently moved away its not too much of an issue now haha. Sorry about your work friend, would a calm but serious discussion where you ask her to just plain not offer you food be productive?

That didn't sound like a good friend to begin with...eek.
I think most of my good friends have caught on - and now it's more fun to swap healthy recipes than unhealthy snacks.

Just break up then

Kick her in the taco.

I tend to be a smartass, so my responses tend to be shocking but they reduce the pushing phenomenon ... the last time a co-worker asked me if I wanted a donut, I said "No, would you like to smoke some crack" ... it stunned her but she hasn't done it since.