Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
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The reaction was a bit over the top but in most relationships there's always moments where you just lose it and your reaction is not proportionate to the problem lol.. Try to forgive and find a solution that works for the both of you. I'm vegetarian and my fiance is not, most meals I'll make the base of the meal and he'll add some meat if he feels like it that day. It's good to put your health first but keeping your relationships healthy should be a priority too
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go buy some wax fruit and a cheese burger. give them both to him and say, the both have the same nutritional value, and make yourself something awesome.
Cheese + Bread + Meat + Pickles = Wax fruit.
It's science, don't argue.
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I cook what mine wants but I eat what I danged well please. If I want to eat healthy I eat healthy. I don't force him to eat it. If he makes the mistake of complaining about his weight I just inform him, "Well, THAT is what YOU wanted to eat." Good luck. I think he's being insecure a bit. *HUGS*0
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Go buy another fridge and put it in the garage and put all his stuff in it. he can fill it with what ever he wants and you get the front fridge for ypu. feed him what ever hey wahts and tell him to make sure is life insurance is paid in full because when he crooks from pluged artieries your going to need o be takin care of. good luck!!0
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1. I think it's messed up he's not supportive of you. That's problem #1. I don't care what his issues are, if he feels lonely when you're not eating junk with him or something -- you need to sit down with him and tell him you're making a choice to change yourself for your happiness, and he needs to get over himself.
2. I honestly can't believe he just threw out a bunch of good food. How wasteful.
3. As a married couple, if you've combined your finances and you're in charge of the groceries, then I agree that you should buy a few of the foods he likes, if it will make him so happy. And if you can resist the temptation. (Honestly, I don't see why he's not being more supportive.) That doesn't mean you have to cook a healthy and an un-healthy alternative for every meal.
If he doesn't like your new healthy choices so much, and expects you to work around that; then tell him you don't like his unhealthy choices, and you expect him to work around that. If nothing else, he can prepare his own damn meals.
How insensitive. Not impressed.0 -
My guy is 6'4 n works walks miles a day at work... He can eat pretty much what ever he wants. N that's fine. I have "My" food that he doesn't eat. he has "his" food that I try to pretend don't exist at least 5 days a week(lol) I don't cook separate meals for him, he is not a child.
One thing though, if you don't work or work part time n thus do the household shopping, include some of his things too.. My guy is a total junk fooder... He might have the nerve to complain, but he wouldn't make it to the trash can, but I don't force my food on him either, nor do I nag him for eating as he wishes to. It's a mutual thing, he understands that I want to change my food and I understand that my change is not to be imposed on him. The way you presented it makes it sound like you're trying to make him change with you and restricting his food. If I were to try to force my guy to eat some of my healthier meals I could see a similar tantrum happening, minus the throwing away of food. If I misinterpreted the situation, please excuse me. And either way, if my guy did have the balls to throw my food away he would be the one restocking it!
Good luck n don't let it discourage you! 0 -
"great! im glad i could help! listen, ive got 5 kids under the age of 14, one with a serious medical condition that causes me alot of time at the dr and hospitals. im a full time college student, and active with my 4 daughters softball teams. i have no time for a whiney husband who wants to complain about the food i buy or cook. luckily, i dont have this problem, because in my house (and yes, this is my house, this is the house i grew up in, which is in mine and my mothers name ONLY) im in charge, i run it, i manage it, and he complies; he has found its easier that way."
I'm glad that having your husband's balls in a dixie cup works for you. However, some of us got married so that we could have a partner, not a submissive child to could bully around. Your approach isn't going to work for someone who wants their spouse to be actively involved in making decisions as a family.0 -
Divorce his *kitten*.0
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"great! im glad i could help! listen, ive got 5 kids under the age of 14, one with a serious medical condition that causes me alot of time at the dr and hospitals. im a full time college student, and active with my 4 daughters softball teams. i have no time for a whiney husband who wants to complain about the food i buy or cook. luckily, i dont have this problem, because in my house (and yes, this is my house, this is the house i grew up in, which is in mine and my mothers name ONLY) im in charge, i run it, i manage it, and he complies; he has found its easier that way. if it works for us, thats all that matters. he eats what i cook, and he doesnt complain. my response was in reaction to the op's husband acting like a *kitten*. so, you can thank your lucky stars that your not married to someone like me, but believe me, in my husbands eyes, with all i do, with all i have on my plate, and everything i go through with my children, he thanks his lucky stars that he has me i dont have time for any bull*** and he knws it, thats why i say, he wouldnt dare. its not about being self absorbed, its about appreciating that im doing whats best for this family (healthy food) with the time i have available.."
I'm glad that having your husband's balls in a dixie cup works for you. However, some of us got married so that we could have a partner, not a submissive child to could bully around. Your approach isn't going to work for someone who wants their spouse to be actively involved in making decisions as a family.
yeah, im good, not interested in him making any decisions about what i buy at the grocery store, especially when he could care less. 0 -
My wife and I pretty much have exact opposite nutritional needs. She's a natural runner who needs lots of carbs to remain alert while I'm diabetic and need lots of protein to feel even remotely human. She also has a wicked sweet tooth. SO I do all of the cooking and usually do the shopping. Rather than make separate meals though I usually just handle our portions differently she gets double the servings of starches and I get double the servings of proteins. If there is something specific she wants I'll fix it in the healthiest way I can otherwise I plan the meals. If she wants candy or sweets in the house I'll pick up exactly what she puts on the grocery list but won't stock up on anything extra.
In other words I encourage compromise but if you're doing the work of preparing the food then you deserve more input in what it is that's being made. Weight loss is hard enough without being a special order cook to boot.0 -
I love how everyone here is acting like they got the whole story. I've been married. Most of the women responding here are currently married. Why are you acting like this was the first time he said he wanted real food? I'm betting this is the 30th time. Maybe the 300th time. Since she either didn't hear before or didn't care, his temper tantrum was him turning up the volume.
She made a unilateral decision that directly affected the whole family. That's not how things are supposed to work. Marriage is either an equal partnership or it's bull$hit. Her deciding to change everything they eat without his consent is the same as him deciding to put a 3rd loan on the house without telling her.
I've lost all my weight eating McDonalds, Taco Bell, and pizza. Surely there's some middle ground that she can make that doesn't involve that Mrs Dash garbage. It's give and take or its gtfo.0 -
Wow, talk about a temper tantrum huh? He needs to work on conveying his needs in a calm way.
That being said, he's probably going to be unpleasant as long as he feels deprived. You have a few options: 1) Tell him to fend for himself. Just stop cooking for him. 2) Prepare two meals. 3) Find meals that can accommodate both of your needs.
My husband and I have very different food preferences, so I've done all of these at one time or another. I recommend that you do as much "3" as possible (with some effort you can develop a repertoire of recipes that work) with the occasional "1" and "2".
Also, he wants real salt? Only salt your plates. He doesn't want yogurt? He doesn't have to eat it.0 -
I love how everyone here is acting like they got the whole story. I've been married. Most of the women responding here are currently married. Why are you acting like this was the first time he said he wanted real food? I'm betting this is the 30th time. Maybe the 300th time. Since she either didn't hear before or didn't care, his temper tantrum was him turning up the volume.
She made a unilateral decision that directly affected the whole family. That's not how things are supposed to work. Marriage is either an equal partnership or it's bull$hit. Her deciding to change everything they eat without his consent is the same as him deciding to put a 3rd loan on the house without telling her.
I've lost all my weight eating McDonalds, Taco Bell, and pizza. Surely there's some middle ground that she can make that doesn't involve that Mrs Dash garbage. It's give and take or its gtfo.
wait a minute... are you saying that i shouldnt have taken out that 3rd on the house???0 -
If he doesn't give a crap about your health then he wants you to be unhealthy. Divorce his *kitten*.0
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I love how everyone here is acting like they got the whole story. I've been married. Most of the women responding here are currently married. Why are you acting like this was the first time he said he wanted real food? I'm betting this is the 30th time. Maybe the 300th time. Since she either didn't hear before or didn't care, his temper tantrum was him turning up the volume.
She made a unilateral decision that directly affected the whole family. That's not how things are supposed to work. Marriage is either an equal partnership or it's bull$hit. Her deciding to change everything they eat without his consent is the same as him deciding to put a 3rd loan on the house without telling her.
I've lost all my weight eating McDonalds, Taco Bell, and pizza. Surely there's some middle ground that she can make that doesn't involve that Mrs Dash garbage. It's give and take or its gtfo.
Definitely truth in this...My (soon to be) ex husband used to make decisions about what I should be eating to lose weight. And it drove me nuts! This is also a big part of why he's well on his way to being an "ex".
To the OP, Cooking healthy doesn't have to be bland or even taste "healthy". Hell, I go through bacon like it's going out of style :laugh: Try talking to him about what kind of meals/snacks he WOULD like to eat and go from there.0 -
Hi again, and WELCOME to MFP. :-) Your thread was fine - and you will always get lots of responses from readers. Don't sweat it. Take what's helpful and forget the rest. Hopefully you read at least one thing you use.
Best to you and your goals as well. Keep up YOUR commitment to your health.I would like to thank everyone for their support and constructive criticism. Like I said this was a vent, yes there are two sides to a story will I be broadcasting them here. Um I think not, if you read the title carefully it said my healthy food. Therefore it was mine. Unfortunately my husband is too lazy to fix or buy his own meals. I didn't put a gun to his head nor did I force to eat what I made. Some people hit it on the noise on why my husband act the way he did. Yes there should have been a comprise. I can admit to that. To address the person mention about me being unemployed yes I am no shame here life happens. But just because I'm unemployed doesn't entitles me to be a maid or personal chef and for the record I can afford my own food. Also I'm new here so I don't know much about what threads are trending here thanks for the heads up. All in all thanks for taking your time to comment and read my post. I hope everyone the best in reaching their goals!!0 -
My honey bear is a toothpic, 5'10 135 lbs, always has been always will. About three weeks into my lifestyle change, he got really grumpy and sou. We fought ( something we never do) i realized something was wrong and figured it was food related. The next morning, still mad i went to the store and bought him pot pies and hot pockets. When i got home, i asked him to give me a hand putting things away. When he got to hos bags, he grabbed me and gave me a huge kiss! He told me he had been craving thongs for weeks but was tring to be supportive and not bring crap food into the house. I keep his freezer drawer full and he keeps supporting me. We must remember this is a lifestyle change for our family to. We have moods and issues of our own amd are so into us right now that sometimes we forget the needs of our loved ones. Feed him some carbs and red meet or whatever his food needs are.0
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Just because i'm trying to lose weight it doesn't mean by partner has to as well. I do all the cooking, always have, and I don't see it as a major deal to cook us 2 separate meals. I wouldn't dream of giving him what I eat after he's been out working all day. Chicken, rice and veg just do not cut it with my OH after being out working for 12 hours. But maybe i'm a bit old fashioned and I enjoy looking after him and making him food he enjoys. I fully admit we're quite a traditional household, but we both like it that way. You cannot take all the food away that your OH enjoys just because you are dieting, thats just not fair. No wonder he feels a bit grumpy, I would too if my OH took away all my fave foods!! Admittedly his reaction was over the top, and I wouldn't of found that acceptable in any way. I think there was other issues going on there but thats just my opinion....0
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the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"
Baaaahhhhaaaaa.....Thank you! This made my day.0 -
All these 'oh i'm chuck him out' and other similar comments make me laugh, as I can bet in reality you wouldn't chuck your partner out if he had a one off tantrum. Who would really do that? If you could then your relationship sucks big time anyway.0
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he'd be wearing his whole milk and buffalo grande nachos.
why cant you just eat separate things? you're not conjoined at the digestive tract so it's OK if you eat different things0 -
You can't force someone to eat the way you do since it was your decision to make changes. He is your husband and was supportive of you. But you do have to compromise to his wants to. It can't be all about you and your change. He is in shape and likes certain foods. In a healthy marriage you compromise and please your partner. Your husband, I'm sure pleases you in some ways. And you should please him. Just because food that is not so good is in the house doesn't mean you have to eat it. This has prolly been stewing for awhile because the man is starving lol.
Agreed he shouldn't have exploded and tossed food out. But he may have been just really frustrated and exploded. Guess I was brought up old school. If my husband is doing for me, you can be damn sure I am going to be doing for him. All this bruhaha about kicking him out or smacking him is the most idiotic thing I have read all day.0 -
dayum. I'm a scared of you.
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Geesh I can't imagine living this way Holy mole.
Okay so to the OP. I think your husband was right to be mad, not right in the way he handled it. I don't really get why you'd put him on your diet when he's the one who is already slim? I think it's reasonable that WHILE you are losing weight and have a problem to fix, it be your problem and not everyone else's. I can only HOPE you were not putting the calorie restrictions of a woman on a man?! He was only trying to sabotage your diet because you put him on it too! He just wanted it to be over for everyone.
I would seriously go out and get him some things he likes. I would have done this even if he hadn't made that terrible demand but the fact that he did, at least shows that he is somewhat in touch with his emotions. He was trying to keep it in for a full month! I would have snapped too. Imagine this lady I just quoted she wouldn't have taken it for a hot second. You're lucky he held out this long, but would have been luckier if he had starting telling you he doesn't like that stuff sooner....OR HAS HE?
Usually whenever someone makes a complaint during an argument LOTS of omissions are made and that's why I ask.
Get YOU and HIM both food you both like and make him and yourself happy and agree to disagree on what to eat for the next year or two or however long it takes you to lose your excess weight. You're on a diet NOT him. Poor guy. :noway:0 -
well said MyChocolate!0
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Thats exactly what I would do! Agreed 0
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That is fine. He's a grown man and can eat outside daily. My favorite spot is at my mistresses place and/or strip club. He'll find someplace too
Ah yes...troll.
" This"0 -
Honestly I can see why your husband is mad, although the way he raged out was wrong. Just because you want to eat healthier does not necessarily mean he does. And that's not a bad thing! He's fit, if he doesn't have health problems from the way he likes to eat, I don't see anything wrong with it. By changing your eating habits, you've changed around his eating habits (though clearly he didn't want you to). If you're the one who grocery shops, buy your healthy food, buy his indulgent foods, tell him he has to make his food himself if you feel you have to, but don't keep the foods he enjoys out of the house just because you want to be healthier.
Well said, as grown adults, we should be able to choose how we eat. Should he have thrown out your healthy food? No. But it clearly boviousy that the drastic change is getting to him. Imagine if the tables were turned and you could eat anything you wanted, he couldn't and you didn't want to adapt. All this talk about kicking husbands out, etc is a bit harsh. Learn to work together and supports each others needs and desires. Not just yours or his.0 -
Wow.
I would have told him "This IS real food. You've just been eating man-made chemical crap for so long you don't know the real thing when it's right in front of your face!"
Don't like my food? Don't eat it! You're supposed to be a grown man, so quit your temper-tantrum, man up & make your own meals then.
Then I'd go replace every single thing he threw away with the maximum of that product. Threw out a yogurt? Buy every flavor in whole cartons. Couple strawberries? New fruit plate!
Take care of your damn self if he has such a problem! Don't make his problem yours!0 -
Simple if he doesn't want what you cook, tell him to stop being lazy and cook himself!!!0
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Wow.
I would have told him "This IS real food. You've just been eating man-made chemical crap for so long you don't know the real thing when it's right in front of your face!"
Don't like my food? Don't eat it! You're supposed to be a grown man, so quit your temper-tantrum, man up & make your own meals then.
Then I'd go replace every single thing he threw away with the maximum of that product. Threw out a yogurt? Buy every flavor in whole cartons. Couple strawberries? New fruit plate!
Take care of your damn self if he has such a problem! Don't make his problem yours!
That is called spiteful and will dent a marriage big time. We should always take the high road and work these issues out. Like I said before, his response was clearly wrong. I cook most of the meals personally. I make sure anymore that people serve themselves and fill their plates. Otherwise, I will put what I think looks good to me because it makes sense.0
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