Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
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Let HIM go shopping! Then when he comes home, THROW out his food!!!!! There has to be something more than just being an jerk. It sounds like to me, he is afraid of you getting thin and leaving him. Unless he is just the control type of guy.0
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this!
Let him do his own grocery shopping. Give him his own cabinet and fridge space. Tell him to cook his own meals. And while your at it, tell him to do his own cleaning too. You do what makes you feel good and if cant support you then throw him out with the junk food!0 -
I know you're just venting, but yes, I'm about to judge...
1- You're husband sounds like an immature *kitten* in this instance. If he's frustrated fine, but to order you to the grocery store? And to try to sabotage your health plans by pestering you about the nachos? That is not being supportive or even base line respectful at all.
2- You are trying to change your eating habits, not his. So if you have only bought stuff for the house and are forcing him to change his habits, don't. Whoever buys the groceries should buy two sets of groceries, what you want and what he wants. But don't feel obligated to cook his stuff if you know it's going to trigger bad eating habits in you.
3-Clearly you two need to sit down and discuss clear expectations of shopping, real support, etc.
Honestly I find his behavior disturbing and slightly abusive in a controlling way.
And not going to lie, if my guy did that, he'd find his debit card cut in half on the table when he got home. Then we'd be talking more about how we treat each other in our relationship than our eating habits.0 -
I hope you won't consider ending your marriage on the advice of some strangers on the internet. Do you have children? When they ask you why they don't have a father at home "He threw my food away" is not going to be a very satisfying answer.
It's not a divorce offense, but it is a counseling offense and/or serious talk offense. Her post, keeping in mind we are only getting her side of it, had relationship red flags all over it.0 -
Let HIM go shopping! Then when he comes home, THROW out his food!!!!! There has to be something more than just being an jerk. It sounds like to me, he is afraid of you getting thin and leaving him. Unless he is just the control type of guy.
According to one of her other posts, he works 13-15 hours a day - I'm not sure when he's supposed to fit in the shopping as well.0 -
I agree. He would be going. Does not sound like he is going to give you the support you need to succeed.0
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In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
I disagree. He has his own debit card? Well he can go buy the crap he wants to eat himself. From now on, cook your own meals... let him fend for himself and see how he likes it!!
*** On a side note, I hadn't read all of the other posts. If he's working, and you are not, then you need to include his wishes as well since part of your 'job' in the relationship seems to be grocery shopping.0 -
I agree with this. I think he's feeling threatened by your loss. Was eating out (buffalo wings and stuff like that) a big part of your relationship up until recently? He may feel that you changing is going to change the relationship. He's being childish about it, but maybe talking with him about where your relationship is and where it's going would help. if someone has never had a weight problem, it can be really hard to watch someone else who struggles.Oh dear.
Trying to lose weight is already hard enough and it's even harder when the person that you're in a relationship with, doesn't need to lose weight. If you want to be with this person, you will have to conquer the biggest task in weight loss... willpower. I understand where you're coming from about wanting healthy food in your body and working out but, that doesn't mean that he has to have healthy food in his body. The house that you live in is both of yours- You both need to feel welcome and satisfied in your home. He needs to feel like there is food for him to eat and you need to feel the same way. Can I suggest making your own cupboard and giving him his own? You could have your healthy food in that cupboard and he can have his crap (lol) in his cupoboard. You can also have your own space in the fridge. I am not trying to come off as being rude but, I know how it feels to be in a house with someone who has different ideas than you do and it doesn't feel very good. The two of you CAN work this out if you can learn how to talk to each other without these strange outbursts. He sounds like he has been bottling up his emotions for quite sometime now, (I see that you have lost 80 pounds) and it sounds like he just exploded for no reason at all. You didn't and don't deserve what he did or what he said so, don't get me wrong when I am sticking up for his eating habits. You should have a conversation with him explaining WHY you want to lose weight and WHAT kind of support you need from him. He should want you to be happy even if that means losing weight. I guess you could take it as a compliment that he loves you the way that you are. It isn't fair for you to have to walk on eggshells everyday and not be able to talk to him about things that you're passionate about.... you need to get that point accross to him. Is there any way to have a nice conversation without fighting and without using foul words on each other's emotions? That should happen soon so that you can continue on your weight loss adventure.
Good luck to you. Add me as a friend if you'd like.
I also agree that you should have his/her food. If he really wants buffalo wings, let him eat them, and you have a healthier alternative, but maybe share something else with him. You need to take care of yourself, but you also don't want to just wash your hands of the relationship, it sounds like. I think a good conversation is in order, and maybe some reassurance. My guess, he's feeling threatened. 80 pounds is a lot. That's awesome for you!!!
Good luck!0 -
I cannot imagine throwing away FOOD!
![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
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I wouldn't buy food, he's on his own for the rest of the week.
this right here!!! agreed0 -
I hope you won't consider ending your marriage on the advice of some strangers on the internet. Do you have children? When they ask you why they don't have a father at home "He threw my food away" is not going to be a very satisfying answer.
It's not a divorce offense, but it is a counseling offense and/or serious talk offense. Her post, keeping in mind we are only getting her side of it, had relationship red flags all over it.
Sure, but 4 pages of "kick him out" doesn't help0 -
So today I just join this site however in December I started to change the way I eat. More organic no fried or process food.
Well my husband seem so supportive please keep in mind he is 5'9 155 lbs very active so he eats any and everything. Me on the other hand is a different story I look at food it goes straight to my thighs and stomach. LOL. For the last two months he did not complain about the groceries nor what I cooked until tonight. He came home with buffalo chicken grande nachos. He offered me some I decline he kept saying come on try them their so good. Again I politely decline, I don't know what that triggered but he snapping saying he can't live like this anymore. He wants to drink whole milk instead of skim. He hates yogurt , he miss me cooking with salt, Mrs dash is disgusting. what he have to do to get some soda in here.This man was on a full rampage but the kicker is he threw all the food out then puts his debt card on the kitchen counter and said he wants "real" food here by time he gets home from work. I never been so pissed off in my life. He complains when I work out or mention anything about it. I just needed to vent. I refuse for this incident to discouraged me. little do he know I'm going repurchase my food he tossed out. *smiling* good night
What a bull**** attitude, hope he changes his tune.0 -
I hope you won't consider ending your marriage on the advice of some strangers on the internet. Do you have children? When they ask you why they don't have a father at home "He threw my food away" is not going to be a very satisfying answer.
It's not a divorce offense, but it is a counseling offense and/or serious talk offense. Her post, keeping in mind we are only getting her side of it, had relationship red flags all over it.
This^ it is definitely a serious offense if my husband talked to me like this. Throwing her food away and saying there better be some food in there by the time he gets home?? Yeah, there would be a BIG problem if my husband spoke to me like that.0 -
Man that's awful! It would have scared the heck out of me for my husband to flip out like that. It seems to me that something much more is bothering him. Hopefully he is feeling bad at work for yelling at you and throwing a fit. When he comes home, tell him if he wants that crap to eat that he will have to go buy it himself but you are not going to be an accessory to his early death and you want to live with him for a long long time. Tell him that is why you want to be healthy, so you can live a long healthy life WITH HIM. That might make him feel better. Tell him if he wants that junk food that he can go ahead and have it but you are going to still eat your healthy way and you'll be really disappointed if he ever acts like that or treats you like that again. Tell him it scared you and you want to feel safe in your home...that ought to get to him! Good luck. Don't give in.
Although many of the replies made me think "heck ya!" and "ooooo" or even laugh a bit...this is a pretty serious situation. Patty, your response made *me* feel better and I wasn't even in the situation! Lucky girl to have had you read her post and take the time to reply to it.0 -
I'm sorry you're husband lost it but, it is hard for some to get used to all the non-fat stuff, myself included but I have the determination to lose so I can handle all the change. My husband HATE's diet food too, anything non-fat so, I just buy my non fat stuff but I also get him his real milk and real half & half for the coffee. We both win. So go shopping and get him what he wants.0
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Amen! Don't let anyone discourage you. You have lost so much weight already. You should be really happy with the changes you've made. I make sure my husband has the food he chooses to eat, but the majority is healthy. He isn't a stranger to healthy eating he has just lost his way. Good luck with this and keep up the good work!0
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Let him cool down and then have a talk with him about what's going on. Then do rebuy your food. You are a grown woman and need not be controlled by someone else. If he doesn't like the food you are buying, he knows his way to the grocery store, right? Or if you are the main shopper and want to work with him, talk to him about some of the things he enjoys that he would like to have "in stock" around the house. He needs to respect and support you and you need to do the same, and having a screaming fit of pent up resentment is not the way to do it. Good luck to you and keep up the good work you're doing for your body.
^^THIS0 -
Wow! Im sure my Husband is going to go on a rampage soon also. :laugh: I try to encourage him to eat somewhat healthy by stocking our fridge with options. Instead of hamburgers we have turkey burgers, instead of junk snacks we have fruit, instead of regular peanut butter we have natural pb, etc. etc. He has pretty much embrassed the change and actually likes some of the food.
Some people don't like change so try to gradually make changes instead of throwing him in the water without a vest. If he wants nachos then make them at home. Ground turkey, low sodium taco seasoning, tons of veggies, fat/low-fat cheddar cheese and one small bag of tortilla chips. He can have the chips and you can make your nachos with lettuce instead (like a taco salad). That way you both are getting what you want.
BTW - My Husband does not do yogurt, cheese, veggies, oatmeal or anything healthy. lol. So far no melt downs but we do go out once a week to eat what he wants.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
Is there any reason he can't have whole milk in the refrigerator next to your skim? I don't think he behaved well, and throwing out food is never cool, but it sounds to me like there needs to be compromise on both sides here. Put salt on the table for him to add to his food (though it's really not necessary to cook without it anyway to be 'healthy'), buy the things he wants to eat, as well as those you need. Look at ways to bulk out a low-calorie meal so he doesn't feel under-fed or deprived (and don't forget his calorie needs are very different from yours right now!). For his part, he needs to get back on board (and it sounds like he's been supportive up til now, so he probably will) with your choices and needs, and work with you to find ways to make your different food choices work - different cupboards, a small 'soda' fridge in his office/den/somewhere out of your line of sight - whatever you need to make it work. Maybe he needs to understand that you really don't want to be tempted by his pushing fast food on you (though having a bite of something he brought home as a treat isn't going to undo a week's worth of work) because you're committed to changing things - look for the compromises, and embrace a little moderation.0
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He can buy his own f*cking food.
Don't cook a damn thing for him - don't give him any booty - make him sleep on the couch or OUTSIDE.
This kind of behavior is UNACCEPTABLE.
I would have punched him square in the jaw and given him a "HOW DARE YOU..." speech.
Oh, even better, Throw a bunch of HIS stuff out - maybe a cd collection or dvd collection and see how HE feels. What a jerk!0 -
Ok, 1. your husband sounds like a controlling abusive a$$hat, and I'm sure you wil defend his abusive ways, people do that for some reason when they think they love somebody. 2. you shouldn't force him to eat what you are, he is a grown up, he should be able to eat what he wants. 3. go out with his debit card buy your stuff, and tell him if he wants something different, he can go out and buy it this time, and then the next time you go shopping you can just get the stuff you both want.
So why do you have to make him dinner everynight anyways? You sound more like his maid than his wife. Unless you don't work, and that is the deal you two have, then I think that is ok.
She doesn't work. He does...13-15 hours a day. If my husband worked that many hours a day to support me while I didn't work, he'd be getting anything he darn well wanted for any meal.
Would even try a few fancy sauces to say thank you.0 -
see that's why i buy my own food if you don't like what i buy or cook. Buy your own damn food.0
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An active, healthy guy plays along for months with your "health food" approach and he's finally had enough? No surprise there.
... if he was doing his share of the cooking, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds like she's doing all the cooking and shopping, so if he wants certain foods and she doesn't, maybe he should get off his hole and make it
I don't understand why anyone would think this is acceptable behavior, even if she does not work outside the home. In fact it does not seem to even be on the same level here. Unemployed, stay at home mom, housewife, whatever, there is still no excuse for a grown man to act like that. What the HECK does that have to do with anything? Seriously? I DO agree with compromise, but if my husband threw a fit similar to that of my TWO year old, I'd be either frightened, enraged, or both. Grown men should act their age. Besides I didn't read everything, but did she SAY she "didn't work"?
ANYWAY, my husband is very much on board with my healthy lifestyle, but he still buys his chips. and some other "junk food". I just don't eat it. I eat my healthy food, and it's up to him whether or not he does. He was more into healthy eating than I was for the longest time, so we're good.
Thank yu, We decided that I would stay home with my son. But I didn't state that here but its in my profile that someone went to then commented. Like I said in the title it was my food, maybe I should have stated more in the initial post but hey what can r you do. My husband is not abusive actually this surprised me because usually he doesn't talk much. I was being inconsiderate aftera long talk he said the reason he brought the food home was show me how he felt. It blown out of control he told me that it wasn't his intention. but I do tell if he eat what I cook he have to reseason it. It's regular table salt amongst other seasonings in my home. We both was being selfish. When I was working I barely cook because I worked 12 hour days so he became use to all the fast food we was eating. This is an adjustment for the both of us.0 -
you *might not* want to hear this but I wish someone had told me back about this time last year - would have made life sooo much less fraught with tension.
Being successful at losing weight when you have a partner is communication.
He was definitely wrong in tossing all that stuff out - it accomplished nothing but hurting you and causing strife. Talking to you about it would have been so much better, don't get me wrong B U T...
Your hubby isn't watching his weight ... You are. You're the one trying to manage your calories and keep within a smaller intake budget - he isn't. You said yourself he is tall and slim, the man needs to eat! Try and make meals that he can enjoy that aren't hard on your calorie intake. Something you won't mind him having seconds on, if you can handle NOT having seconds. Have foods in the house for him to enjoy and just do your best to exercise self control. Or ask him to "stash it" somewhere out of your sight. Talk to each other.
Talk to each other about how he can support you better, while you try to find ways to be equally mindful of his food needs too. My hubby isn't watching his weight (though lately I see him definitely considering other food options which is nice!) so he goes back for 4ths while I sigh inwardly and say "someday.." Hah!
I don't think he is feeling threatened or scared - just hungry. Feed the beast, and make sure you keep your own staples in the home. Once he is content he will be more prone to thinking rationally.
My best to you!
:flowerforyou:0 -
I really want nachos now.0
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He can buy his own f*cking food.
Don't cook a damn thing for him - don't give him any booty - make him sleep on the couch or OUTSIDE.
This kind of behavior is UNACCEPTABLE.
I would have punched him square in the jaw and given him a "HOW DARE YOU..." speech.
Oh, even better, Throw a bunch of HIS stuff out - maybe a cd collection or dvd collection and see how HE feels. What a jerk!
Because a guy who works almost double a normal work day has time for all that stuff and deserves to be hit and abused when he gets home.
That's wonderful advice. Maybe you should write a self-help book for men.0 -
So today I just join this site however in December I started to change the way I eat. More organic no fried or process food.
Well my husband seem so supportive please keep in mind he is 5'9 155 lbs very active so he eats any and everything. Me on the other hand is a different story I look at food it goes straight to my thighs and stomach. LOL. For the last two months he did not complain about the groceries nor what I cooked until tonight. He came home with buffalo chicken grande nachos. He offered me some I decline he kept saying come on try them their so good. Again I politely decline, I don't know what that triggered but he snapping saying he can't live like this anymore. He wants to drink whole milk instead of skim. He hates yogurt , he miss me cooking with salt, Mrs dash is disgusting. what he have to do to get some soda in here.This man was on a full rampage but the kicker is he threw all the food out then puts his debt card on the kitchen counter and said he wants "real" food here by time he gets home from work. I never been so pissed off in my life. He complains when I work out or mention anything about it. I just needed to vent. I refuse for this incident to discouraged me. little do he know I'm going repurchase my food he tossed out. *smiling* good night
I see no reason why you cannot compromise with him. Buy him a half gallon or a gallon of whole milk, and some soda ( maybe a kind you do not like?). cook without seasoning and add salt to his and mrs dash to yours.
The secret to a happy household while you are trying to get healthy is to NOT drag everyone kicking and screaming with you. Hubby has definite opinions about what he would like to see in the house. He went through a phase some years ago where he was anti-milk because he had heard about what is *allowed* in milk. I told him straight up that I had toddlers that needed to be drinking milk. I didn't give a rat's behind if HE didn't drink it, but I would kick his butt if the kids stopped drinking it. He also went through a phase where he didn't want to see sugary cereals ( cap'n crunch, froot loops, etc) in the house...so I bought cheerios and mini wheats until HE went to the store with the kids and brought home like 3 boxes of *banned* cereal.0 -
Alright yea don't do the things I said, that's bad.
But I sure would be pissed!
Point 1 - He has to understand that his behavior is NOT OKAY.
Point 2 - If he has something to say or an opinion to express... like oh I don't know "Hey I would like some high-calorie foods" then he should just tell you. If he can't communicate like an adult, wtf is he doing?
Point 3 - Just talk about it. There's nothing wrong with YOU having YOUR food, and HIM having HIS food. You have different bodies with different needs, you don't have to eat the same stuff.
Point 4 - Protip: ANYTHING in a relationship can be resolved with OPEN COMMUNICATION. If both of you understand this and the above points, then I'm sure you'll come to a mutually agreeable conclusion.
Good luck.0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
^This! My husband is exactly the same as yours! He is in the Army & super fit so yeah I have healthy things in the house but he has soda, cookies, chips for him...it's about self control for me & I've done wonderful on it!0 -
In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
This....I make separate meals or he makes his own. I want him to get healthy but I cant force it. As for the throwing out of the food, that is juvenile. What a waste. I buy the crap he likes but I dont eat it.
Good luck. Without your spouse's support you have a hard road a head of you0
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