Left Handed Compliment. Who's getting them....

heymirth
heymirth Posts: 448
in Success Stories
Ya know what I mean. Someone try's to say something nice but comes out $hitty. Like the person that asks if you've been sick because you look withdrawl/losing weight.
Or for the girls, a guys says he liked your look better when you were chubby.

Lets hear them

I realized my whole life that when I do start to lose weight my MOTHER (insert therapy session here). Would tell me "you look terrible" and unhappy. No, that didn't lead me down a FAT Road

I'm left handed too.
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Replies

  • ashleyShades
    ashleyShades Posts: 375 Member
    The first time I lost weight I had my mom ask me if I was on drugs haha... granted, I was away at college and had lost about 50 pounds from exercise and diet but I only saw her every couple of months.
  • MeeSooHungry
    MeeSooHungry Posts: 5
    Someone at church walked up to me and said I looked great, but that they were afraid to tell me because maybe I was ill. Next time I might play along. Hell, they started out all up-beat but then got this concerned, sorrowful look in their face. I'm going to play light-headed or something...
  • SnicciFit
    SnicciFit Posts: 967 Member
    Ugh... lately I've been disturbed by people saying things like "you better not lose any more weight!"

    Excuse me, you don't even know how much I weigh. And... just because I'm still eating better and exercising does NOT mean that I'm trying to "lose more weight". Maybe I trying to maintain my weight loss or (gasp!) gain muscle.

    I know people don't mean anything by it, but I still think it's rude. I wouldn't say "you better not gain any more weight" to anyone, would I??
  • Jimaudit
    Jimaudit Posts: 275
    "Hey, you're not as fat as you used to be"
  • rugbyphreak
    rugbyphreak Posts: 509 Member
    When I really started to lose weight, at about 45 pounds down, my residents at work started asking me if my cancer had returned and if I was undergoing chemo...

    Nope, cancer is still in remission, I'm just losing weight to get healthy.

    Why? Did your boyfriend threaten to dump you if you didn't get hot?

    Ugh... I just said no and walked away from that one.
  • 1JenMilam
    1JenMilam Posts: 108 Member
    I like the ... You look so good NOW comment.. I knew I was over weight but I'm sure I had some pretty days :tongue:
  • mb1127
    mb1127 Posts: 36
    " Did you and your boyfriend break up? Your face doesn't look as chubby. "
  • kolkol
    kolkol Posts: 300 Member
    i have been asked what were you on crack when i lost weight once, i was approx 150 at almost 5'6" so I was just in the normal weight I think?
    I have been told i looked sickly (by bigger friends) smaller friends said i looked good, weird!
    I take they were jealous or just used to seeing me bigger. the most I had ever lost was 40ish lbs, never getting smaller than 150
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    My MIL hugged me and said in my ear," Wow! You are so small and your face is drawn now. You look old."

    B%tchy
  • ptbodacious
    ptbodacious Posts: 65 Member
    I'm in the beauty shop, the beautician says to another client "Doesn't she (me) look fantastic?!", client says "Yeah, but I don't want to lose weight bad enough to mutilate my body like she did". I say "What? I did this through diet and exercise, not surgery!", and the woman proceeds to argue with me, insisting I couldn't possibly have lost 67 pounds "just by diet and exercise" and that I didn't need to be ashamed of having surgery! Sometimes you just shake your head and move on.....
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    "You're much smarter than you look"
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    I'm left-handed and all I ever get is grief for doing stuff "backwards".
  • jrompola
    jrompola Posts: 153 Member
    I enjoy people who ask are you on a diet. I usually respond nope I'm just eating healthy and then I show them what I eat in a day and they're amazed with how much I eat. Eating 1700-2100 calories of non junk is hard to do!!
  • bear0624
    bear0624 Posts: 5 Member
    I'm a teacher and recently one of my kiddos said " You didn't like being fat"!!!!

    My 5 year old son told his cousin, " my mommy does excercise so you can be skinny like your mommy"!

    :)
  • tigerblue
    tigerblue Posts: 1,526 Member
    "You have the skinniest legs I've ever seen. . . ."

    Yes, I know that! I've known that all my life. It's just now that the rest of me is skinny too, I'm willing to show them off!!

    Now, would ANYONE say "You've got the fattest legs I've ever seen"?

    I also got the "are you sick" comment several times.

    They're just jealous!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    As a left hander I am offended by the term... :wink:

    ETA: and I think you meant back handed compliment... :happy:
  • Jenncoc86
    Jenncoc86 Posts: 203 Member
    thanks for making us lefthanders feel inferior,lol
  • kteamhill
    kteamhill Posts: 21
    I remember when I was in High School and I lost 40 lbs. I was really proud of myself and worked really hard (I'd always been bigger my whole life and struggled with self esteem issues in HS) - one thanksgiving my grandmother told me I looked terrible and sick and that I shouldn't have lost that much weight. Needless to say, I gained it all back and some. Those back handed comments suck.

    My grandmother has since apologized and I have accepted. Now, I'm back on the healthy lifestyle kick!
  • dugoley
    dugoley Posts: 1 Member
    Ugh... lately I've been disturbed by people saying things like "you better not lose any more weight!"

    Excuse me, you don't even know how much I weigh. And... just because I'm still eating better and exercising does NOT mean that I'm trying to "lose more weight". Maybe I trying to maintain my weight loss or (gasp!) gain muscle.

    I know people don't mean anything by it, but I still think it's rude. I wouldn't say "you better not gain any more weight" to anyone, would I??

    I get this a lot too. They start by saying something nice like "wow you've lost a lot of weight." and then something like "you better be done, you don't want to be to skinny."

    WTF people. I still weigh 230 pounds, give or take, and I'm hitting the weights to get rid of the left over fat and add on some muscle. I do believe it is straight up jealousy. Not that I look that great, but they wish they had the mind set to do it themselves.
  • marqcutie80
    marqcutie80 Posts: 68 Member
    Back-handed compliments - none so far from most people since I started losing weight around Christmas (joined MFP about a month ago), however my grandmother is notorious for saying things like:

    "You're doing a good job...but then you'll go out to dinner and ruin it all"

    and "You'll probably get tired of it and quit school" - one Master's Degree later she's quite proud of me! ;)
  • autopilot_on
    autopilot_on Posts: 388
    I have not had any personal experiences with this but I did have to field questions about my dad who lost 60 pounds through diet and exercise. People were always pulling me aside and asking if he was sick, or had cancer, or had an eating disorder. Well I've seen my dad eat, and man he EATS. It's just the good stuff that he eats. I've seen him put away a TON of food (fruits, vegetables, etc). I think overall these back handed compliments come from other people's own insecurity about their body image. They feel like they need to pull you down to justify their own poor eating choices. That's probably a bit judgmental, but there ya go.
  • jonesin_am
    jonesin_am Posts: 404 Member
    Wow! I guess I am lucky enough to be surrounded by wonderful, supportive people. I have gotten the occasional "don't get too skinny", "you're done losing, right" comments but I'm 5'4" and 188 pounds. Nope, not done losing. Another poster had it right on when they said that these comments mostly come from people that are jealous, not of our body, but of our mindset and the ability to take control of our lives.
  • LauraW1219
    LauraW1219 Posts: 71 Member
    Kinda. I've lost almost 34 pounds now and I've been working out like crazy. So I basically don't have much weight other then my upper thighs and OHGOsh the stomach. So now instead of people just thinking I'm fat. I keep getting how many months are you. Ugh it makes me feel terrible. Unless someone is in hard labor and you can see the head please stop asking if someone is pregnant.
  • marathon_mama
    marathon_mama Posts: 150 Member
    As a left hander I am offended by the term... :wink:

    ETA: and I think you meant back handed compliment... :happy:

    lol. I'm sure that's what she meant. That's funny though!
  • kbodnaruk
    kbodnaruk Posts: 67
    I too have gotten the "You have lost weight, you look great" --- hmmmm....did I NOT look great before?!?! I know they are trying to compliment but still.......
  • ppotoch
    ppotoch Posts: 11 Member
    Ugh... lately I've been disturbed by people saying things like "you better not lose any more weight!"

    Excuse me, you don't even know how much I weigh. And... just because I'm still eating better and exercising does NOT mean that I'm trying to "lose more weight". Maybe I trying to maintain my weight loss or (gasp!) gain muscle.

    I know people don't mean anything by it, but I still think it's rude. I wouldn't say "you better not gain any more weight" to anyone, would I??

    I get this a lot too. They start by saying something nice like "wow you've lost a lot of weight." and then something like "you better be done, you don't want to be to skinny."

    WTF people. I still weigh 230 pounds, give or take, and I'm hitting the weights to get rid of the left over fat and add on some muscle. I do believe it is straight up jealousy. Not that I look that great, but they wish they had the mind set to do it themselves.

    This is the one that I heard most, too. A "friend" said to me "people our age don't look good if we get too skinny". Seriously??
  • Valera0466
    Valera0466 Posts: 319 Member
    Bump
  • DoctorsaubeR
    DoctorsaubeR Posts: 29
    When I lost 40 pounds after a divorce, I'd say about 5 people in my life said they were concerned that I was on drugs. I was like, "Um, no. It's called exercising more and eating less -- and also grieving the divorce makes you lose your appetite a little." Jeesh!
  • DoctorsaubeR
    DoctorsaubeR Posts: 29
    When I really started to lose weight, at about 45 pounds down, my residents at work started asking me if my cancer had returned and if I was undergoing chemo...

    Nope, cancer is still in remission, I'm just losing weight to get healthy.

    Why? Did your boyfriend threaten to dump you if you didn't get hot?

    Ugh... I just said no and walked away from that one.


    Holy CRAP that's so rude!!! I would've lost my mind with the boyfriend comment...and yay about your cancer being in remission!
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    You're pretty... for a girl.

    Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to compliment OP was I? :)

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