Obese Friends Alienating Me

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  • lexielexie40
    lexielexie40 Posts: 25
    I also may add you will find friends who want to be healthy . So don't give up.
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
    I try not to talk about changes that I'm making (except to my wife - but she signed on to listen to my nonsense.) If the topic comes up - I keep the answers short.

    With any changes people make - while they might be really excited and want to share their thoughts, theories, feelings, good or bad, it can be annoying to the people that get this inflicted on them.

    I'm not saying that you are necessarily doing this - but it's really common in my experience and the people doing it are often not completely aware of doing it. (weight loss, workout plans, divorce(!), medical issues, etc.)

    If people are interested in talking about a topic - they will tend to ask probing questions. My advice is to try to be aware of that (and check the clock before you start talking). :)

    The drug use accusations are just weird - so, I'd assume that they were made in jest?

    I agree with this.... you have lost weight and that's a great thing - you should really be proud of yourself, but constantly talking about those "morbidly obese" like they are somehow sub-par and labeling them the way you seem to isn't cool and I suspect its why you are getting the cold shoulder.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    humans suck... when you lose weight the shallow ones will love you more and the insecure ones will love you less. It sure isnt fair. Keep up the hard work dont let anyone stop you from being the most healthiest and fit that you can be.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Maybe I can lend a different angle to this. I have lost and gained weight many times. Right now I am on a losing streak. I have a friend, I'll call.... Sue. I realize that she has been a bigger gal most of her life but when she turned 40, she started a diet and lost a lot of weight. She and I have been dear friends for years, raised our kids together, our husbands are best friends. Well, once she started losing weight, and lots of it, she started getting a little extra self esteem, I'm not saying that's bad, but she started dressing pretty sexy, again I'm not saying that's bad. I don't know if it was the effect of being married for 20 years or what, and probably her husband wasn't giving her the compliments she deserved, but she started hitting on men wherever she and I went. Sometimes the men would go for it, and more than once she slipped out the back door with those men.

    She fails to see how this affects ME. I don't want to be in the one who has to lie (or not?) if and when her husband or mine asks me if she is cheating. I love her husband like a brother and she is betraying him, and she has put me in this awful place. I avoid her now and dread being around her. My husband has asked me why she and I don't go anywhere..... I don't want him to know what she has turned into. No, I'm not jealous of her weight loss, I am happy she got her health back and her self esteem. What I really dislike in her now is her behavior. I hate how she thinks she is such hot stuff, with no regard for her husband or kids. She's not the girl who she was when she was overweight. A girl who would go out with the girls and joke and laugh and have fun with us...not on the prowl for a man. She's a man hungry, attention hungry, self centered, inconsiderate human being. I wish she would have never lost all that weight, it has ruined or will ruin so many lives. :(

    See I'm worried this will happen to me. I dont get all that I want out of the relationship, and know that that attention will be very tempting.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    ONE THING: You don't have to be on drugs to lose weight, where are these people getting this?

    What?? I decided to lose weight so I'd have an excuse to do coke. That's it, I quit.
  • _kannnd
    _kannnd Posts: 247 Member
    They're intimidated by your awesomeness.

    THIS!
  • packratpatty
    packratpatty Posts: 46 Member
    Maybe I can lend a different angle to this. I have lost and gained weight many times. Right now I am on a losing streak. I have a friend, I'll call.... Sue. I realize that she has been a bigger gal most of her life but when she turned 40, she started a diet and lost a lot of weight. She and I have been dear friends for years, raised our kids together, our husbands are best friends. Well, once she started losing weight, and lots of it, she started getting a little extra self esteem, I'm not saying that's bad, but she started dressing pretty sexy, again I'm not saying that's bad. I don't know if it was the effect of being married for 20 years or what, and probably her husband wasn't giving her the compliments she deserved, but she started hitting on men wherever she and I went. Sometimes the men would go for it, and more than once she slipped out the back door with those men.

    She fails to see how this affects ME. I don't want to be in the one who has to lie (or not?) if and when her husband or mine asks me if she is cheating. I love her husband like a brother and she is betraying him, and she has put me in this awful place. I avoid her now and dread being around her. My husband has asked me why she and I don't go anywhere..... I don't want him to know what she has turned into. No, I'm not jealous of her weight loss, I am happy she got her health back and her self esteem. What I really dislike in her now is her behavior. I hate how she thinks she is such hot stuff, with no regard for her husband or kids. She's not the girl who she was when she was overweight. A girl who would go out with the girls and joke and laugh and have fun with us...not on the prowl for a man. She's a man hungry, attention hungry, self centered, inconsiderate human being. I wish she would have never lost all that weight, it has ruined or will ruin so many lives. :(

    See I'm worried this will happen to me. I dont get all that I want out of the relationship, and know that that attention will be very tempting.

    It IS tempting, but one thing we all hate, as a group of well behaved MARRIED or TAKEN women, women of all sizes and fitness levels (don't assume we are all just a group of fat old jealous bats) is women throwing themselves all over men, acting like desparate pathetic human beings. I will be willing to bet that the friends of this women dislike what the OP has become. How she is now acting like the way her whole group of friends despise. I HATE being around my friend now. I dread being around her because she is the epitome of what we all dislike in a person. My friend, she dresses like a fifteen year old girl now. It's rediculous and embarrassing to be around her and I can fully understand why the OPs friends are acting the way they are.

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