Left Handed Compliment. Who's getting them....

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Replies

  • weightnomore33
    weightnomore33 Posts: 64 Member
    Wow. Do ya say Thank You after that, I don't know?

    "Hey, you're not as fat as you used to be"
  • Kat5343
    Kat5343 Posts: 451 Member
    My mother's, what I call "Back-handed" compliment, was always..... "..... but you have such a pretty face." Which, in translation means, "You are so fat, but you have such a pretty face.".. or "you are so pretty but you cover it up with all that fat." ... UGH
  • TxLdy3
    TxLdy3 Posts: 31
    Gotta LOVE the neighbors that you see all the time telling you now how good you look !! AS if I didn't before???? Or the age old "Honey, you are SO PRETTY If you just lost some weight ....
  • nbischoff15
    nbischoff15 Posts: 35
    At this point, I would like even a back handed compliment!
    Granted, I've only lost 19-20 pounds... but that is a big difference. It should be noticeable in some fashion, right?
    I wait and wait and wait to hear someone say SOMETHING.
    Seriously.

    Either the people around me have noticed and they just don't want to say anything...
    or I carried those extra 20 pounds really really well and people really haven't noticed. :)
  • zilea
    zilea Posts: 31 Member
    I was at my goal weight back in 2007 and living with a close friend of mine who has always struggled with her weight. She tried, it seemed, to deter me every step of the way and when I finally got to goal, she just started being mean. She told me I looked like Nicole Richie once (during her eating disorder days) and mocked my "tiny" body to my sister. Her lack of support was awful and we eventually had a falling out due to it, at least in part.

    Most people who say these cruel things to people who are losing weight are jealous and insecure and you have to recognize that. Only a few of them are informed enough to actually be worried. Remember that the USA has an obesity epidemic – many people don't even realize what a healthy body looks like, let alone a healthy meal.
  • SunnyAndrsn
    SunnyAndrsn Posts: 369 Member
    From a middle aged co-worker:

    Wow, you have such a shapely waist NOW. It's so well defined NOW. Yada, yada, yada. She went on for a few minutes about how great I looked now that I actually have a waist. I can't remember exactly how she said it, but there were numerous references to my big old former gut. Apparently, it was so obnoxious it was worth going on and on about now that it's shrunk.

    Thanks...NOT.

    I'm also getting a lot of the "how much more do you want to lose--you're going to fade away". I have a good 50 pounds to my initial goal, and I'll still be overweight when I get to that point. No chance I'll be blowing away in the breeze :-)

    I do think those comments are based on insecurities. I was the biggest person at work, and now that I'm not anymore, well, no one else wants that label either.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    At this point, I would like even a back handed compliment!
    Granted, I've only lost 19-20 pounds... but that is a big difference. It should be noticeable in some fashion, right?
    I wait and wait and wait to hear someone say SOMETHING.
    Seriously.

    Either the people around me have noticed and they just don't want to say anything...
    or I carried those extra 20 pounds really really well and people really haven't noticed. :)

    A lot of people are just generally uncomfortable commenting on another's weight, even if it's to compliment. They may also be unsure if you're having a health issue or are genuinely losing weight with proper diet and exercise...they're afraid that their compliment will be mis-interpreted...i.e. "wow...you lost some weight"..."so what...you thought I was ugly and fat before?"...that kind of thing. A lot of people are just generally uncomfortable commenting on weight.
  • tripodsmom
    tripodsmom Posts: 95 Member
    :laugh:
    My face is longish and always "skinnier"...I actually had a friend tell me not to lose any more weight from my face! WTH...i'm BOTTOM heavy....it'll go from where it goes from...EVENTUALLY maybe it will go from my thighs and butt ;) Really though!
    I would've said "You can choose where to lose weight from? Hmmm I never knew that. Maybe you should try to lose some weight. From your FAT MOUTH!
  • nbischoff15
    nbischoff15 Posts: 35
    Very true.... but just like everyone who has made positive changes and has worked hard to do it.... I think it is nice to know when someone notices. :)
  • Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt
    Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt Posts: 226 Member
    I once lost 30+ lbs, and went to a party where an uncle started out saying how much better I looked, then turned to his new girlfriend and started loudly (in that just-drunk-enough-to-not-know-how-loud-I'm-talking way) proclaiming "You should've SEEN what a porker she was before! Seriously, she used to EAT! But now she's doing better. Keep it up, kid!" He seriously had no idea how humiliating that was. At least his girlfriend had the decency to look uncomfortable at that point.
  • alowry007
    alowry007 Posts: 52 Member
    I thought they were "back handed compliments" but either way.

    I have a friend that always says "You look hungry."
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
    "Hey, you're not as fat as you used to be"
    I have heard this one...
  • thethinnydiaries
    thethinnydiaries Posts: 111
    Now that my weight loss has finally started actually showing, one of my friends said something along the lines "good, now that you're getting skinny I can say this and not feel bad... You really needed to lose the weight. But you're starting to look so good! Keep it up!"

    I know she had only the best intentions for that, but it kind of hurt. Especially since I haven't lost that much and am still really self conscious. :/
  • tazhinshaw
    tazhinshaw Posts: 297 Member
    Haha my step-dad: You look great how you are, guys like thick girls. Uhhh NOT getting in shape for anyone but myself, thanks! ;)
  • kaycepo
    kaycepo Posts: 42 Member
    At Christmas my grandma says to me "you look great but you don't need to lose anymore you will start looking old" I AM ONLY 35!!!!
  • leopardjunkie
    leopardjunkie Posts: 149
    I had someone say Oh wow you are not as fat as you used to be and then drew in the air their interpretation of the fat on my face as they used to see it!
  • buffalowings78
    buffalowings78 Posts: 6 Member
    Congrats on such incredible change- 131 # - wow!!!
  • buffalowings78
    buffalowings78 Posts: 6 Member
    The absolute worst ones for me are any comments (directed at me or not) about looking like a man, getting too muscular, losing "curves" (ie. fat boobs and fat butt). I don't recall it being acceptable to tell people they had too many curves, too much cellulite, were too weak, flabby or untoned, etc.

    I agree, these people are all jealous, because you are proof that they - if they made the right decisions and worked hard - could also be in good shape and they have no one to blame but themselves. To make themselves feel better, they convince themselves that they are "superior" because they have giant boobs (which are really just all fat) or they have a "youthfully fat" face, etc. Please!
  • CallmeFrida
    CallmeFrida Posts: 197 Member
    I enjoy people who ask are you on a diet. I usually respond nope I'm just eating healthy and then I show them what I eat in a day and they're amazed with how much I eat. Eating 1700-2100 calories of non junk is hard to do!!

    love this one^^
  • MrsSummerM
    MrsSummerM Posts: 26
    Everytime I start to lose weight, my grandmother starts shoving food at me. She sends me home with cookies, candy, pop tarts, and a ton of left overs from dinner. When I put weight on, she tells me that I am too pretty to be fat.
  • LauraDotts
    LauraDotts Posts: 732 Member
    "You look great. Your husband better watch out." Like, what, my morals and my love for my husband are embedded in my fat? I know they actually mean to compliment me but...yikes.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    My mother was kind enough to point out that I "have less of a muffin top". My dad just said I look great. I choose to listen to my dad.
  • Neeser926
    Neeser926 Posts: 100 Member
    I think I've gotten all the left handed comments.....

    On a related note"

    When people finally started commenting and asking what I was doing they seemed so sad and disappointed when I said 'eating less and moving more' that I came up with a new more exciting answer for them. I tell them it's crack cocaine and wild sex. Gets their attention and shuts them up!
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
    Mom - You look absolutely terrible. (said it to me three times in a matter of an hour. Until I told her to shut the *kitten* up. Yes, I said that to my 76 year old mother)
    Friends- You have an eating disorder.
    Please stop losing weight(I have been the same weight since October)
    You'll gain it all back. And then some.
    Work Friends - Do you have cancer?
    Are you dieing?
    Where do we get the drugs you are using?
    When did you turn gay and get the AIDS?
    People that have NEVER met me and hear these comments, scratch their heads and tell me I look awesome.

    I prefer to listen to the people I have never met.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    When did you turn gay and get the AIDS?

    WHAT???? :noway:

    What kind of ignorant schmucks surround you?
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
    When did you turn gay and get the AIDS?

    WHAT???? :noway:

    What kind of ignorant schmucks surround you?

    LMAO. You have NOOOO idea how many people have asked me that question. I never said they were intelligent.

    PS. I love the use of the word SCHMUCK. You must be a transplanted New Yorker.
  • postrockandcats
    postrockandcats Posts: 1,145 Member
    When did you turn gay and get the AIDS?

    WHAT???? :noway:

    What kind of ignorant schmucks surround you?

    LMAO. You have NOOOO idea how many people have asked me that question. I never said they were intelligent.

    PS. I love the use of the word SCHMUCK. You must be a transplanted New Yorker.

    I've only been there once! My family is from the midwest, I live in the south but I was born in Los Angeles; fair bit of Yiddish use there. :)

    I'm still stuck on weight loss = sexuality change/ AIDS. Because science? :huh:
  • Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt
    Drop_it_Like_Its_Hawt Posts: 226 Member
    When did you turn gay and get the AIDS?

    WHAT???? :noway:

    What kind of ignorant schmucks surround you?

    LMAO. You have NOOOO idea how many people have asked me that question. I never said they were intelligent.

    PS. I love the use of the word SCHMUCK. You must be a transplanted New Yorker.

    I've only been there once! My family is from the midwest, I live in the south but I was born in Los Angeles; fair bit of Yiddish use there. :)

    I'm still stuck on weight loss = sexuality change/ AIDS. Because science? :huh:

    Yeah, that kind of commentary takes a special kind of schmuckery. You need new friends, dude. (And I'm from the Cali coast, but still copiously use "schmuck". And "dude".)
  • amydriesbaugh
    amydriesbaugh Posts: 22 Member
    My MIL hugged me and said in my ear," Wow! You are so small and your face is drawn now. You look old."

    B%tchy



    that is just so wrong!!!
  • KellyJessen
    KellyJessen Posts: 1 Member
    I was told my weight loss was making me look like a "normal person". Although, that was from my daughter, who is 5 :)

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