Everything I didn't want to know and/or be

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Replies

  • xXxHBICxXx
    xXxHBICxXx Posts: 370 Member
    Been with my hubby for 6 years and he has yet to hear me fart, poop or pee .... I was raised not to do that in front of other people so I don't. Your a different case though, you have stomach issues and your BF must know about that so he has zero right to get upset when you do it. I would have also deleted the pics but I sure as hell wouldn't have let it go ... I would have deleted them while asking him what was up.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Ask for advice.
    You were given advice.
    "Thanks for the advice, but I am going to ignore it and do what I want"



    Good Luck to you...honestly.
  • BrieGoorts
    BrieGoorts Posts: 48 Member
    So, now I have this terrible feeling in my gut. He's going to check his phone and realize the pics are no longer there.

    was going to make a joke about your IBS......but then the thought struck me.......WHY are you feeling nervous or upset at how he might feel when he discovers that you deleted the pics that he should never have had on his phone?


    Are you mad, woman?

    Dump him. Quickly.

    Just the other day I found a folder on my bf's computer titled Eden. I snooped, and found at least 20 or more half naked and full naked photos of an ex gf of his. I deleted the folder, then deleted it from the trash can. I can say that I to was a little nervous about what would happen when he found out, but just the other day the relationship ended, so now I don't care and realize that even though I am having heart ache, I should have dumped his *kitten* right after finding the pictures... No man has any right to hold onto stuff like that when they are in a committed relationship with someone else. Respect..
  • gailmelanie
    gailmelanie Posts: 210 Member
    I would say something is going on with him and between you that needs honest discussion. Not knowing either of you I couldn't say what's up, exactly, but you've seen some red flags. The tip-off is that a noticeable change has taken place in both your behaviors and perceptions of ordinary stuff. The business of peeing and farting is superficial, and in this case it's a distraction from the real problem. There are camps on both sides of that kind of sharing. But, I know if a person knows their farts are really rank, try to do it away from others as much as possible. Still not worth fighting about, though. Where you pee shouldn't matter unless it's on his clothes, shoes or face. Bottom line on that is you have to agree on what is acceptable to share intimately with each other.
    I have to say, though, that my experience with a similar occurance is that he's doing something he needs to hide and is feeling guilty, or wants a reason to separate, but doesn't want to be the initiator of that, hence that baiting to get you to do just what you did. What I did when I saw that happening was to say, "Looks like you want to pick a fight so you have a reason to leave. Is that what you want?" He admitted that was exactly what he wanted. I still didn't find out until much later what, exactly, was going on, but at least he knew it wasn't going to be easy to hide trying to leave.
  • Pepper_Pea
    Pepper_Pea Posts: 91
    Alarm bells much??

    I believe you will either get hurt or sick of being a door mat or He will get bored with your complacent nature and leave.

    Keep in mind I am ONLY commenting on what you have put across I have nothing else to go off so I am probably off base but I'm going to comment anyway because that’s just what I do.

    That is all.
  • Ryokat
    Ryokat Posts: 168 Member
    I can't believe you told him to "get it yourself I'm not your slave"...how DARE you?!? I'm glad he sat you down afterwards and let you know that you have to THINK before you say crazy *kitten* like that.

    Seriously, what ARE you allowed to say?
  • rlmadrid
    rlmadrid Posts: 694 Member
    He is right. You dont fart/pee/poop near your man..ever.

    ^ sarcasm font malfunctioning?

    I have IBS too and I know as much as you try, sometimes the worst is inevitable. Just evaluate the situation. Naked pictures etc. aside, do you really want to keep investing in someone who can't respect your uncontrollable stomach problems?
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    'stupid things come out of your mouth!"

    stayed away from him in another room because I know it bugs him.

    I sat down and he flipped out!

    he FREAKS OUT! Tells me I'm disgusting and disrespectful.

    . I went pee and he freaked again telling me I was disgusting because I peed upstairs instead of downstairs (WTF?) and said I was doing stupid things.

    "appologize for what you said and I will!" He said he wasn't going to because I should have peed downstairs.

    everything I do and say is stupid... blah blah... long convo he sits with me, I'm still upset and he told me he loves me and that I just need to think before I do and say things

    So, now I have this terrible feeling in my gut.

    Read all that again. You are scared of his reaction, you walk on eggshells around him, god forbid you'll disturb him with your disgusting bodily functions.
    When you confronted him and asked for an apology you basically got an "you are making me do this".
    You have this terrible feeling he might find out you went through his phone, why? What do you fear?
    He is being controlling, you might not see it now but that's how it starts. It will most likely escalate.
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    'stupid things come out of your mouth!"

    stayed away from him in another room because I know it bugs him.

    I sat down and he flipped out!

    he FREAKS OUT! Tells me I'm disgusting and disrespectful.

    . I went pee and he freaked again telling me I was disgusting because I peed upstairs instead of downstairs (WTF?) and said I was doing stupid things.

    "appologize for what you said and I will!" He said he wasn't going to because I should have peed downstairs.

    everything I do and say is stupid... blah blah... long convo he sits with me, I'm still upset and he told me he loves me and that I just need to think before I do and say things

    So, now I have this terrible feeling in my gut.

    Read all that again. You are scared of his reaction, you walk on eggshells around him, god forbid you'll disturb him with your disgusting bodily functions.
    When you confronted him and asked for an apology you basically got an "you are making me do this".
    You have this terrible feeling he might find out you went through his phone, why? What do you fear?
    He is being controlling, you might not see it now but that's how it starts. It will most likely escalate.

    This, this, this and ALL OF THIS.

    I was so afraid of upsetting my ex husband in the last few months/years.. I was so stressed out about it, my hair was falling out, I was a total basket case.

    My hair has grown back and life is so much lighter and better without him. You want to think his behavior is "just him" and yeah, it IS, which is why you should leave. Let him not have some one to abuse for a while and he's going to have a breakdown of his own, and that's exactly what he needs.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
    He is right. You dont fart/pee/poop near your man..ever.

    Uhhhh... seriously? If i didn't fart/pee/poop rainbows and sunbeams, this would be a problem.

    [/quote]

    Yes, seriously.. You can hold it when you're at work/school, right? Why cant you do the same when you are around your man?
  • iLoveMyPitbull1225
    iLoveMyPitbull1225 Posts: 1,690 Member
    hes being a d*** because he's cheating on you. leave him...
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    This reminds me a lot of my exH - telling you that you say stupid things and are disgusting for having natural bodily functions is a form of control and abuse. It's a mild one, and it's easy to glaze over because it's subtle, but it's there. Making you feel like you are undesirable to anyone else is a form of keeping you for himself. Does he ever accuse you of cheating? Or when you're out with friends does he ever crack jokes about you 'sleeping around'?? I bet he does, because it's par for the course with guys that act like this.


    But, just to be fair, you are probably not right for him, either. No matter what you think or suspect, going through his phone is disrespectful and crazycakes. If you can't talk to him about your fears and concerns, you are not communicating like an adult in a relationship should.

    This 1000%!! His behavior is do textbook emotional abuse it's not funny. Any talking you do with him will probably go one of two ways..... He will suck up and promise to change. That might last a few days or weeks. Or he will crazy make you and turn it all on you.
    You've done the telling him to leave the house part. Now.... Tell him to leave your life. Spend some time alone and build yourself up.

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