Food Police And Nasty Hurtful Comments

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Replies

  • PyrateWench
    PyrateWench Posts: 10
    Are you sure there isn't something in the water where you live? That is some crazy behavior.

    This....I cant believe these stories are real.

    I've seen people actually hang out of car windows and moo or bark at overweight people. Disgusting behavior and never an excuse to behave like that. I'm sure it has everything to do with their upbringing.

    I've never had anyone comment on what I'm eating but since I lost a lot of weight, I've noticed that my friends and family pay a lot more attention to what I'm eating, or more likely, what I'm NOT eating :smile: I think that is actually to my advantage now because it makes me hope that I'm setting a good example for them.

    Gina
  • 130annie
    130annie Posts: 339 Member
    Hi....You're giving them to much time in your head.....
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    You have a lot more reserve than I do. I would have gone off on them. How dare they! Do they know at all what goes into losing weight? I eat pizza, cupcakes, etc...but I moderate! Next time some one does that to you stop, look at them in the eye and say, "It is good to know why there are bullies in our schools. I see now where it comes from." I bet they stop.
  • ausfgrad
    ausfgrad Posts: 10 Member
    Wow, totally unacceptable. I don't encounter that very often and when I do, it's usually my mother. I distinctly remember around 8th or 9th grade (we're going back 25 years people, so it left a dent) that my mother at lunchtime on a weekend suggested that perhaps I should only eat 1/2 a sandwich for lunch. I was about 10 lbs overweight and I truly think it was about that time that I developed the mentality, "well, if I'm fat already why not keep eating". It's served me well - now I have 80 lbs to lose. I think people don't even realize how much words can hurt, though how much the right words can make such a difference. I'm sorry you had to experience those things, but I hope you are finding great support from your MFP community!
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
    When I was younger, I was shy and insecure, which resulted in being picked on and bullied. As an adult, I've gotten to a point where I don't really give a *kitten* what other people think of me, so I don't really take notice of what other people are saying about me, but in the rare instance where someone has said something rude that really pisses me off, I find that calling them out on it is immediately gratifying. People like that are bullies, and aren't used to being challenged or put in their place, so usually calling them out on their rudeness is enough to shut them up. On occasion, you'll find the particularly belligerent one who's looking for a fight, but they're far and few between.

    My suggestion is, ignore the random stranger and their snark, but definitely call out people you must interact with, like people at work, acquaintances from your neighborhood, etc… Standing up to them and calling them out on the carpet may not only prevent them from saying things in the future, but will hopefully give you a sense of empowerent.

    edited for spelling.
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
    Where do you live? Skinnymeanieville? This is horrible!!!
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
    The best revenge in life is success. Use it as motivation to attain your goals.
    This is exactly what I did to get even. The only person you should think about is yourself. Don't let others dictate how you should live your life. Your life is your own, and you get only one of them to live. These two quotes are from a 2011 episode of ThunderCats, but they've become two of the best motivational quotes I've ever heard:
    "In the end, what matters isn't how long we've lived, but how fully we've lived...the good we've done, the friends we've made, the love we shared along the way."--Emrick the Petalar

    "We're all leaves passing in the wind, here and then gone. But while we're here, we live to the fullest!"--Lion-O
    Live a full life that makes you happy. For those idiots in the food police, forget about them. It's your life. Go live it! :flowerforyou:
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    The best revenge in life is success. Use it as motivation to attain your goals.

    ^^this

    Agreed. Now, when I feel stares or hear whispers, I just think to myself, "I've lost 52 pounds, jerk. Think whatever you want." It's very empowering. I don't feel nervous going out in public anymore.

    That's just awesome. Good for you!
  • anifani4
    anifani4 Posts: 457 Member
    Insulting, rude, hateful... I could go on...comments are all about the person delivering them, not about you. Others have given some excellent advice about what you could say to these ignorant people. But I am more concerned about how you have internalized the pain and kept it for years. This is not good for your mental health. Find a way to let it go. Maybe write down every single comment and have a little ceremonial fire to burn them up...they will turn to ashes and smoke which is all they are in the first place. Not worth your consideration at all. Know that you have the power over this situation.

    Personally I have never encountered this rude behavior. I think a silent glare would be all I could manage. Hugs, Ani
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
    The best revenge in life is success. Use it as motivation to attain your goals.
    This is exactly what I did to get even. The only person you should think about is yourself. Don't let others dictate how you should live your life. Your life is your own, and you get only one of them to live. These two quotes are from a 2011 episode of ThunderCats, but they've become two of the best motivational quotes I've ever heard:
    "In the end, what matters isn't how long we've lived, but how fully we've lived...the good we've done, the friends we've made, the love we shared along the way."--Emrick the Petalar

    "We're all leaves passing in the wind, here and then gone. But while we're here, we live to the fullest!"--Lion-O
    Live a full life that makes you happy. For those idiots in the food police, forget about them. It's your life. Go live it! :flowerforyou:

    this must be from the reboot. In the original ThunderCats Lion-O was sort of a douche bag.
  • OddballExtreme
    OddballExtreme Posts: 296 Member
    this must be from the reboot. In the original ThunderCats Lion-O was sort of a douche bag.
    Indeed, it is from the reboot. This version was a whole lot darker than the original. On top of that, the original Lion-O went from being a cub to a full-grown cat fast after a problem with the pod. The newer Lion-O was about 17 or so when the reboot started. (Sorry, the 80s kid in me knows a lot of this stuff!) :laugh:
  • BetsyAnn2013
    BetsyAnn2013 Posts: 37 Member
    I agree with anifani4, I'm more concerned about how you've held on to these hurtful memories. You are letting these morons continue to hurt you each time you remember their comments. Yes, I've been mooed at, humiliated in public, and hurt by those who were supposed to love me most. And I know how difficult it can be to confront these people. I would agree with previous posters that if this takes place in the work environment it does produce a hostile work environment and should be reported. If "friends" or aquaintances treat you this way, you need to find better friends. I would make an effort to speak up in these situations, but what you say needs to be determined by you. :smile: Good luck.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,026 Member
    In life, there will always be people who'll "look" for people that they believe they can talk down to or bully. They won't do it to others that look better than them or are better looking than them, but will do it to others.
    To fix it all, I just fart.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
    That's some extreme jealousy. I'd probably punch someone in the face for that kind of behavior. Or at least ridicule them until they're considering suicide (my favorite).
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
    Next just tell them, "I can lose weight but you will always be an *kitten*. There is obviously no cure for that."

    WTH is wrong with people. Mooing really.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    The best revenge in life is success. Use it as motivation to attain your goals.

    My thoughts exactly
  • SweetSailor
    SweetSailor Posts: 81 Member
    Hi....You're giving them to much time in your head.....

    I have to agree with this, and hard as it may seem to let go of, it happens to everyone in some form or another.

    There isn't just food police, there's gender police, sexual orientation police, skin color police, nationality police, accent police, career police, income police and as someone mentioned, grammar police, physical ability police... (I've been victim of every one of the above)

    You are in the right place, and just keep doing what you are doing.
  • ThePersnicketyOtter
    ThePersnicketyOtter Posts: 147 Member
    Are you sure there isn't something in the water where you live? That is some crazy behavior.

    ^^THIS. That is ridiculous. People talk everywhere, of course, but I haven't seen such outright horrible behaviour since I was in middle school... wow.
    I'd probably punch someone in the face for that kind of behavior. Or at least ridicule them until they're considering suicide (my favorite).
    Also this.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Howard Stern theory. Some people use rudeness and crudeness to garner attention they want.

    Just ignore it.
  • Sjerseysetter
    Sjerseysetter Posts: 2
    Last week I spoke up to a man who was berating his wife in a doctor's waiting room. I told him he was making me and everyone else uncomfortable. Later, two people thanked me for speaking up. He was acting like a. Child, and I called him on it. And he stopped. A simple thing todo is say, "excuse me?" And make them repeat their stupid comment. Then say, " wow I can't believe you said that". Then don't engage them, and they look stupid. Like the man at the doc.s office. He didn't get the last word and I hope his wife realized she deserved better.

    I'm not too heavy, but have mobility issues and have people question my handicap parking. I hear your pain.
  • mklassy123
    mklassy123 Posts: 153
    I live in New York City.

    These things don't happen daily, they have happened over the years. Each time a new comment comes up, I think of the others - but I don't dwell. I had a friend telling me yesterday about something obnoxious that was said about her weight and these stories of mine come flooding back. I have a friend in California who got "oinked" at one day AT WORK!

    You can't fix stupid, but these comments do hurt.

    I don't work in that same office anymore (the fat *kitten* story), but when I was there I knew other people who were "food policed" and I would hear people gossip about others.

    My highest weight I have been a size 14/16. Certainly not skinny but also not so obese where I can't fit onto a subway or bus seat.

    Maybe I'm not as strong as so many of you on here, but I do find these food police comments and snickering (not from MFP) hurtful.

    The pretzel neighbor - she lost over 150 pounds at least five years ago and has kept it off. Of all people SHE should know not to food police other people!

    To those of you who have never had a comment made to or at them, I am happy for you and I hope it never happens!
  • dena789
    dena789 Posts: 165 Member
    I've experienced some of this myself. I found that it is sometimes those who I may have confided in or complained about my weight to at some point who feel that, because I confided in them or made a comment regarding weight, they now have the right to police what I am eating or doing. I believe that, for the most part, they believe that they are trying to help and don't understand how hurtful their comments sound to us.

    The strangers who make rude noises or comments are just nasty people who need to make others feel bad so they can feel superior in some small way.
  • pronetocrash91
    pronetocrash91 Posts: 125 Member
    I have a lot of hate (I know, strong word) for people like that. :\
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    I was about to ask where the hell you live...saw New York City...all wonder vanished, and all became clear. I think that city actually breeds a special type of *kitten*.
  • DaddyCrossfit
    DaddyCrossfit Posts: 35 Member
    I have a lot of hate (I know, strong word) for people like that. :\

    Ditto
  • DaddyCrossfit
    DaddyCrossfit Posts: 35 Member
    I was about to ask where the hell you live...saw New York City...all wonder vanished, and all became clear. I think that city actually breeds a special type of *kitten*.

    Ditto again! :)
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    Next time, stomp their scrawny little butts.
  • LilEmm
    LilEmm Posts: 240
    When that woman moo'd, you should have said you'd love to understand her but you don't speak bovine. Maybe that horrible woman shouldn't have strayed from the herd...
  • angel79202
    angel79202 Posts: 1,012 Member
    I usually get the reverse food police..meaning.."what is that?"..if I'm eating a fruit or veggie..
    Hold ur head up girl!
  • droneofvelvet
    droneofvelvet Posts: 290 Member
    After reading the forum I thought of another "food police" moment I have had recently at work. I gained 30 lbs in the past few months (mostly under the influence of anti-depressant medications which I do not disclose at work). This girl at work said to me, "It is probably because you always get Chinese food and eat the whole box". Crap like that bugs me because it was really healthy food and I already have had some issues with food and I find it triggering and hurtful.

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