Why are people so mean?!
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nm too much trouble0
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I agree...I don't understand why some people feel that they can use their anonymity to be nasty - it really bothers me, and believe me, I'm a totally happy, confident person - I just don't get why people do that. I guess maybe to make themselves feel better because they believe their comments to be witty?0
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Where is this ignore button?0
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I just keep seeing this question time and time again... and all I can think about is a little kid who can't get their way or was told something they don't want to hear.... all I want to do is shake my head and walk away... but here it is... again...0
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Also, I'll take a forum full of responses that are humorous/snarky/sarcastic/sardonic over one filled with nothing but bland politeness any day.
I suspect others are the same.0 -
Correcting bad advice is not the same as being mean.
Not validating someone's bad idea (e.g. eating 500 calories) is not being mean.
Someone who disagrees with you is not "mean".
The "mean" posters are the ones who've lost weight, know how to strength train properly, and give good, to-the-point answers to people. They correct misinformation and try to prevent people from screwing up, plateauing, and then quitting. That's called HELPING. Being supportive doesn't mean we have to support bad advice and bad ideas. Part of being supportive means correcting errors and guiding along the way.
I'd rather have the "mean" people answer one of my questions than some noob with three posts who's addicted to Dr. Oz and gets their weight loss tips from "Good Housekeeping" and internet ads.0 -
Where is this ignore button?
Click the blue arrow next to a poster's name. You should see "View Profile - Send Message - Ignore User".
The rest is history.................
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Also, I'll take a forum full of responses that are humorous/snarky/sarcastic/sardonic over one filled with nothing but bland politeness any day.
I suspect others are the same.
This. Nothing but "Yes, I agree, you wonderful spot of wonderful wonderfulness" agitates me to no end. It's boring and utterly false to boot. I expect the internet to be full of people - and that means full of human nature, too. Seems reasonable to not only expect that, but to want that.0 -
I put on my big girl panties before I come to the boards. Some people are just rude. If internet strangers hurt your feelings you have 'bigger fish to fry'. Just ignore and move on.
Agreed. Let it go! A lot of people who use MFP think they are experts.0 -
When the site was first started, the founders wanted it to be called Mean Fat People.
Marketing thought this was a bad idea, but, thanks to a dedicated group of hired trolls, the original essence lives on.
I like you! This made me crack up.
Cheers!
In all seriousness, I've been here a few weeks, and I've seen very little of what I interpret to be genuine cruelty. What I do see a lot of, however, is:
1) People getting frustrated at seeing the same questions/comments/complaints over and over- questions that could easily be answered by searching the forums, a Google search or, God forbid, a little common sense.
and
2) People taking posts personally like it's their friggin' job. We're talking about pulling out all the stops- every red herring, every straw man, every false analogy. Let no fallacy be spared in making a post be all about how it offends you!0 -
i agree 100% with you O.P. to answer your question the answer is simple. people are mean simply because they choose to be.
I support all my friends no matter what calories they eat. the journey is all about them not me. just like my own journey is all about me. I have no room to judge anyone. the only person I have a right to judge is myself.0 -
I just want to thank all the mean people on the internet and especially this site.
Someone made fun of my spelling one time and I have made a effort to improve it. WIN
I followed some bad advice for a few months and passed it on to someone else on the forums. I was promptly told that I was was wrong which led me to do some research of my own. I found out the internet meanie was correct and I made an effort to educate myself better in the future. WIN
Thank you mean people.0 -
People are mean everywhere not just on MFP, so just smile and remember you can not fix stupid and some people will never change :bigsmile:0
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Case and point, here is some bad advice that OP posted today to the forums, and I'm guessing people explained that it was incorrect, so she got butt hurt.I am afraid of bulking up muscles, so I am focusing on cardio over weights for the time being. Strength training is a huge part of it, but I want to lose some of the fat before I begin toning. I would ease up on the weights and keep up the good cario! Sounds like you're doing awesome!Eat when your body tells you too. If your tummy is rumbling, it's not good to let it go like that for too long or you might over eat or your body might store too much of what you eat, bc it's afraid your not going to feed it again. I stay under my calorie goal by quite a bit eat day, but I feel like I am constantly eating. It works for my metabolism. Each person is different. I just recommend not eating too too close to bed time. I've read that your tum should rest for a bit and have a chance to digest before sleeping. Then shock your system awake the next morning with a big glass of water. Water first thing in the morning is awesome!
Her info DOES seem a little misguided.0 -
Correcting bad advice is not the same as being mean.
Not validating someone's bad idea (e.g. eating 500 calories) is not being mean.
Someone who disagrees with you is not "mean".
The "mean" posters are the ones who've lost weight, know how to strength train properly, and give good, to-the-point answers to people. They correct misinformation and try to prevent people from screwing up, plateauing, and then quitting. That's called HELPING. Being supportive doesn't mean we have to support bad advice and bad ideas. Part of being supportive means correcting errors and guiding along the way.
I'd rather have the "mean" people answer one of my questions than some noob with three posts who's addicted to Dr. Oz and gets their weight loss tips from "Good Housekeeping" and internet ads.
i hope to be "mean" one day...0 -
I put on my big girl panties before I come to the boards. Some people are just rude. If internet strangers hurt your feelings you have 'bigger fish to fry'. Just ignore and move on.
Agreed. Let it go! A lot of people who use MFP think they are experts.
A lot of them ARE.0 -
People are mean because of insecurity. People get offended because of insecurity. People who feel confident in themselves and their decisions don't feel the need to be aggressive or rude when disagreeing. People who feel confident in themselves and their decisions don't get hurt when someone is rude or aggressive.
Unfortunately, this site is dedicated to people who are/were insecure about their body image. For some just starting, or those recovering, getting in shape mentally is as tough as getting in shape physically.
TL; DR: Insecurity Breeds Hostility and This Site is Full of Insecure People.0 -
Ignore Button works great0
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It's the internet.0
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This happens all the time on The Knot too.
OP: We want to have goldfish centerpieces.
Brides: You want your guests looking at fish poop? And what will you do with the fish afterward? Fish aren't props; they're living creatures. Fish centerpieces are bad for the fish, and some end up dying in the middle of the reception. Maybe try something else? There are lots of "beach" DIY things you can do.
OP: OMG YOU'RE ALL SO MEAN
Brides: No, we're just trying to prevent you from looking stupid and harming fish in the name of "decor".
OP: SEE YOU'RE ALL MEAN
Brides: We're trying to help. Here are 10,000 suggestions for lovely decor that would work just as well.
OP: YOU'RE ALL STUCK-UP SNOBS
Brides: Umm... no... we were trying to help you have a really nice wedding. Calm down.
OP: YOU'RE MEAN.
Brides: Not validating your bad idea doesn't mean we're "mean". It just means we disagree with you. Newsflash: people disagree sometimes.
Then the OP runs off and starts a thread about how mean everyone on the site is and blah blah blah. Every. Freaking. Week.0 -
Too many people don't know how to properly lurk on public forums.
Those that do learn the personalities of the posters and see who knows who and how they interact. They also see how humor is conveyed. All this while likely seeing which posters consistently give good* information and which give bad information - aka broscience. The people that do lurk tend to have much more enjoyable online experience, because by the time they actually start posting - they've learned the lay of the land and will likely not get butthurt because someone was direct with them.
On another note... Pretty much the only people I've seen here that are truly "mean" or "rude" are either a) close-minded and think their way is the only way and insist on telling everyone they're doing it wrong - even when what others are doing obviously works for them. This often - but not always - means that person follows a strict form of diet. Or b) the ones that seemingly didn't lurk, got offended because someone told them (and often times provided actual evidence) that they were wrong, and then started telling people that they're mean or a-holes or something to that effect.**
*Good information is defined by citing/linking actual well-conducted peer-reviewed studies - not blogs or endorsements or hearsay or other articles, etc.
** Disclaimer: I am not accusing OP of doing this. I am merely pointing out that many of the threads like this are started by people who fit this description.0 -
Evolution, we evolved to be mean and cutthroat. Heck we killed off the other Hominid species to dominate the planet. It is in our blood. On the other hand as you said we have the ability to control that and be quite nice and supportive. Overall I have found MFP to be a pretty supportive place in the little time I have been here unless someone posts about supplements or foods you MUST avoid or what time of day to exercise or what time of day to eat or what color the sky is.....come to think of it you are right we are a bunch of jerks. JK 0
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There are some legit arguments here. But a lot of what you're seeing is just back and forth between friends.
A lot more of what you see is people trying to keep misinformation from going unchecked in the forums. If they just ignore a thread full of incorrect info then it's as good as saying that info is correct.
Often when someone is disputing incorrect info, they aren't just or even primarily doing it for the OP's benefit. It's for the people lurking who may not realize that a source isn't reliable, or that a practice isn't healthy.
Don't you think it's worth a little arguing to make sure that you're getting correct information?
I am quoting this for the OP because THIS is what most of those people are often trying to do. I hope you didn't ignore this because it didn't support your point.
I don't have a problem with legitimate responses. This guy posts alot and he isn't rude. there are people who just go on 'attack' and have to be snarky and cocky with their responses. They never give any legitimate help. One forum comes to mind: a woman said she lost weight and would like to know how to lose more weight in her abs. Soooo many people responded with 'lose more weight'. She was looking for exercises, nutrition tips, etc to help her lose more weight. Responses like that don't help people. Only a handful recommended workout tapes and things they have done to concentrate on their core, but too many responded with a 'duh' response.
Ah but see that is the only legitimate response. You can't reduce body fat in a specific area. You can work specific muscles, but abs are made in the kitchen not the gym. Telling someone that doing 37 crunches per second will not make their abs any more visible. It might be seen as mean, but that is the truth.
You can't lose more weight just in your abs. Recommending specific exercises is misleading, but the others are seen as mean?
Its not what you say, its how you say it. You just offered an explanation for why she needs to lose more weight. They just said "lose more weight". She was dieting and exercising and had already lost weight. She wanted to start focusing on how to get abs. Losing weight helps you do that of course. Ab exercises and machines were made for a reason. Every workout video I have ever bought has a section on ab training. Recommending a few would not have hurt them. To not do that is what is 'mean' to me.
Sorry but this is a great example of people that has been here for a while - and that has seen the same thing over and over trying to be helpful - and the poster not wanting to accept good advice, and then crying "bullying"
Ab machines were made for a reason - to make someone money.......I have NEVER seen anyone that owns a ab machine have abs - they don't work!!
People with great abs - like fitness models - works their butts off lifting heavy in the gym - and eats right to get rid of their bodyfat - simple as that........they don't work only their abs with ab machines and DVDs....
Disagreeing is not bullying - we are trying to help new people in here cut through reams of misinformation - and get to the basic simple facts of life.....and hopefully save heaps of money not buying ab machines!0 -
I just keep wondering why people don't take advantage of the ignore button. If you don't like the way someone responds to posts, just hit that little triangle next to their username, select "ignore" and POOF, no more posts by that person. Easy, and no need for whiny "everyone is so mean to me" posts.
Ive always wondered where ppl were getting the "Just ignore so n so if you dont like em" idea.. Thanks for the tip, lol
:drinker:0 -
I
mean, snarky people. They've given me some awesome advice. Keep it up Meanies. 0 -
Case and point, here is some bad advice that OP posted today to the forums, and I'm guessing people explained that it was incorrect, so she got butt hurt.I am afraid of bulking up muscles, so I am focusing on cardio over weights for the time being. Strength training is a huge part of it, but I want to lose some of the fat before I begin toning. I would ease up on the weights and keep up the good cario! Sounds like you're doing awesome!Eat when your body tells you too. If your tummy is rumbling, it's not good to let it go like that for too long or you might over eat or your body might store too much of what you eat, bc it's afraid your not going to feed it again. I stay under my calorie goal by quite a bit eat day, but I feel like I am constantly eating. It works for my metabolism. Each person is different. I just recommend not eating too too close to bed time. I've read that your tum should rest for a bit and have a chance to digest before sleeping. Then shock your system awake the next morning with a big glass of water. Water first thing in the morning is awesome!
Her info DOES seem a little misguided.
Yup. It's all classic weight loss misconceptions. Unfortunately they get posted to the forums every day, and when knowledgeable people try to politely correct it, they get labeled as "mean".0 -
When the site was first started, the founders wanted it to be called Mean Fat People.
Marketing thought this was a bad idea, but, thanks to a dedicated group of hired trolls, the original essence lives on.
*** Hitting Ignore button ***0 -
Correcting bad advice is not the same as being mean.
Not validating someone's bad idea (e.g. eating 500 calories) is not being mean.
Someone who disagrees with you is not "mean".
The "mean" posters are the ones who've lost weight, know how to strength train properly, and give good, to-the-point answers to people. They correct misinformation and try to prevent people from screwing up, plateauing, and then quitting. That's called HELPING. Being supportive doesn't mean we have to support bad advice and bad ideas. Part of being supportive means correcting errors and guiding along the way.
I'd rather have the "mean" people answer one of my questions than some noob with three posts who's addicted to Dr. Oz and gets their weight loss tips from "Good Housekeeping" and internet ads.
Girl you deserve some bacon!! Oops hope you are not vegetarian ;-)0 -
Because they are unhappy. Period.0
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Some of the snarkiest people on MFP are the smartest. I have gleaned some amazing information about losing fat and lifting weights from smart a$$e$. I don't take things to heart - I listen to learn. I don't always have great days - but I am not a whiner. I don't want to read any more threads about people who just "can't do it anymore", who "need motivation", who get advice but continue to do what they want to do and then 3 weeks later they're back whining that things aren't working. I am tired of hearing from people who want something to be a quick fix and are only looking for someone to pat them on the back and tell them they will be at goal weight in 2 months.
The forum is the playground of MFP. Pick your friends. Ignore the people who you feel are bullies. Don't come on the playground if you can't stand getting honesty. Listen and learn.
OMG!!! This is awesome x 100000000000000!!!!!!0
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