Trouble from your family about losing weight/eating healthy?

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

Good for you, she obviously can't. How about you be supportive?

How about we all stop making EXCUSES for her? CAN'T is the excuse for everything. She CAN buy her own food.

Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.

I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.

You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

So because you were able to do it at a time when things weren't as expensive, everyone else should be able to do the same thing? Conceited much?

Conceited? No. Realist. Absolutely.

I can't do this because....(insert excsue here). I can't do that because......(insert excuse here)

Wow, pg3, that was rude. She said why she can't obtain her own right now -- not all of us are so fortunate as to strike out on our own at her age. Everyone's circumstance is different, and I don't see her using her lack of food as an excuse. She's just venting about something that makes it difficult. But she's still here, tracking and posting, no? Way to not be supportive.

I can understand where you are coming from, Beetle. I am fortunate enough to have a good job and a wife who also brings in good money, so while we're not rich by any stretch, we can afford to keep food in the house most weeks. But my wife has crazy good genetics and high metabolism -- one of "those" people :P -- and likes her food how she likes her food. She is as supportive as she can be, but doesn't care to make the switch to things like wheat bread, for example. So while she helps where she can, I still have things I need to do on my own.

You're doing great though. I saw your diary for today, and it was excellent. Just keep it up, and don't get discouraged when you have a bad day. Keep it up. And prove those people wrong

You are mistaking the truth for being rude. At 25 years old, 20 years ago, I was married with one child and the wife was pregnant with twins. I took home 300 bucks a week after taxes. Wife didn't work. I paid rent, gas, phone, electric, travel expenses, food and everything else.

People need to STOP making excuses. Plain and simple.

So because you were able to do it at a time when things weren't as expensive, everyone else should be able to do the same thing? Conceited much?

Conceited? No. Realist. Absolutely.

I can't do this because....(insert excsue here). I can't do that because......(insert excuse here)

She's not making excuses. If you can't afford to shop for your own food because you've already spent your money on other bills, then you're at the mercy of whomever buys the food in the house. It happens. It's how things are for some people. If you have no actual advice, why not just skip over it and move on? All you're doing is being an *kitten*.

Who is being rude now?

I am giving her the best advice out of everyone here. Stop making excuses and buy your own.

Where is your advice? I haven't seen any from you.

I have to say I am a little disappointed in the way things are being said here. I can understand telling the truth, and I can understand personal opinions; however, the tone by some posters is mildly disturbing since we are all here to become successful in weight loss, health and physical fitness.

To the original post, I have a family that prides itself on large meals and borderline competition eating on a regular basis. It used to be considered funny when I (as a young kid) would pack away 6 deep fried tacos, and all the toppings that could be shoved inside... I was always very healthy because regardless of the amount of food I ate, I always played it off outside.

Calories were never a topic or concern for me until the last couple years. Back when I turned 17 and worked for McDonald's I gained 80 lbs due to a lack of understanding and a deep seated belief that it was still funny. Now every time I see my family if I say I'm eating small it is a joke. They will laugh, then fill my plate fuller. I still feel like they expect me to eat big and bad even though I now know that is not the way to be healthy. I can be relatively successful unless I eat with them. My personal solution has been to eat my meals before I get there, and then there is nothing they can say that would have me joining in on their meals, and I no longer gorge myself on food that is less than the best.

The best advice I can offer is that if there are real downers in your family who don't believe in you, give them something to talk about by proving that you are serious. If you make an effort for long enough and make your actions match your words, eventually they will take you seriously, and may even decide to join along. You don't have to give up hamburgers to lose weight, you just have to replace the mayo with mustard or add lettuce. Those little changes coupled with smaller portion sizes will get you where you want to be and you will also feel less deprived. I have actually lost a total of 45 lbs, I have 35 to go, but I joined MFP after I started my goals.

GOOD LUCK TO YOU in your weight loss, and GOOD LUCK TO YOU showing your family that you really do want this!!!

pg3 -- can you point out, exactly, where she was making excuses? Where she said that this is the reason she is at the weight she is? I don't see it. She is sharing a frustration. I don't see anywhere where she said "Because of this I am not able to lose weight" or any such statement.

I'm 25 as well, and have a full time job and a wife and two children. My wife works full time too. Occasionally we have trouble stocking the fridge. Stuff is expensive these days. Why the hostility?

You may be trying to "tell the truth", but whether you like it or not the "truth" is that you come off sounding like a cranky old man. "When I was your age we lost weight the hard way! Up hill! Both ways! In the snow!".

"And it was 15 miles and we had no shoes!"

Unsuportive family is a tuff thing to overcome but you can do it, just be polite and ignore the coments, 99% of the time they arnt trying to be unsuportive, they just dont understand what you hope to acheive

comunication is the key but I know its hard when only one side is truly open to listening

pg3 -- can you point out, exactly, where she was making excuses? Where she said that this is the reason she is at the weight she is? I don't see it. She is sharing a frustration. I don't see anywhere where she said "Because of this I am not able to lose weight" or any such statement.

I'm 25 as well, and have a full time job and a wife and two children. My wife works full time too. Occasionally we have trouble stocking the fridge. Stuff is expensive these days. Why the hostility?

You may be trying to "tell the truth", but whether you like it or not the "truth" is that you come off sounding like a cranky old man. "When I was your age we lost weight the hard way! Up hill! Both ways! In the snow!".

Henry. She is making an excuse by saying she that she works but does not have the money to buy her own food and is at the mercy of her parents.

As far as me being a cranky old man, maybe I am. I was just pointing out what my situation was when I was 25.

And I also did lose the my weight the hard way. Hard work and dedication. Without EXCUSES.

That may be an excuse -- maybe she could look for a job that pays more or something. But last I checked, MFP did not stand for "My Financial Pal", it is "My FITNESS Pal" and as long as she is not using this inability to purchase her own food as an excuse for her weight I don't see where your advice about buying things comes into play.

Spaghetti Monster forbid that you ever get frustrated with anything during your diet and ask how others deal with it.

pg3ibew, you said that years ago you made about $300 a week. Do you know how much that would be today? With inflation, the buying power of $300 then would require about $475 now.

Now, I don't know the work situation of the OP, but, as an example what if she is working full time at a minimum wage job? That's only $290 a week, before taxes. You can see that obviously, if this is the case, her purchasing power is much less yours was 20 years ago. AND prices have gone up in the food market faster than in any other market - they increase approximately 3x faster than pay increases.

Frankly, you are being judgmental over something ridiculous and you do sound like a cranky old man. If her money can only go so far, how in the world do you expect your 'advice' for her to buy her own food to pan out? When you are out of money you are out of money, plain and simple. Sometimes people need help - that's OK! Kudos to her for paying all her other bills and for having a job AND for making the choice to be healthier. There are plenty of people in this world who do none of those things.

What are her OTHER bills? Does she pay 750 a month in rent? Phone Bill? Gas? Electric? Diapers? Please notice that she does NOT, at any point, say what her OTHER bills are.
Maybe she is a smoker. A drinker. A recreational drug user. Maybe those are her OTHER bills. We have no idea.
No, I am not being judgmental. All of you are making excuse for her.


And I wasn't making ABOUT 300 a week. It WAS 300 a week, exactly 20 years ago. And please show me the inflation charts to prove your point.

I think she's mostly talking about being surrounded by unsupportive family members that circumstances make her live with. People who talk about supporting their wives (who actually are working at home themselves) are presumably getting the benefit of emotional support from someone who loves them, and who also is dealing with tight finances.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time that way. When you live with your family, mealtime is pretty important emotionally. I hope online support is helpful, and you can get through the rough patch with your family. They'll probably get used to your concern over your weight, so maybe just being persistent with portion sizes and being patient will work till you can get your own place.