I'm just going to come out and say it

tpfoodie
tpfoodie Posts: 148 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I love it when new people add me as a friend. It feels great to lose weight with other members of the MFP community.

But the first time I see the "so and so has been inactive for three days" thing, I unfriend them. It's not because I don't want to be supportive, or because I think less of them. But I really want to stay committed to this, and the more people I see who have been away for a week or even a month, the harder it is to convince myself that I should take the effort to track everything, every day.

So if you add me, wonderful! But please don't be offended if I unfriend you if you go on hiatus.
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Replies

  • mdepko
    mdepko Posts: 283 Member
    Feel free to friend me. I have along way to go and plan on staying on here even after the weight loss. If I can't get to a computer, I at least log my food and exercise from my phone and check messages.
  • JamesChargerWolf
    JamesChargerWolf Posts: 83 Member
    I'm with you too. I know I'm relatively new but this isn't a fad. I made the decision to do the damn thing and I'm doing it! At 3 days I consider unfriending. I see how many friends they have and give them another chance if they don't have that many.

    But I also unfriend people that decide to do fad diets and eat too few calories. We're just not on the same path.
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
    I'm forgiving with 3 days. Computers crash, vacations happen without laptops or cell phones (heaven forbid haha), and life happens in general. 3 just seems too strict.

    I don't know that I'd 'hang up' on someone until they've been gone for about a month. I'd probably send them a message first though. "hey, just checking in" kinda thing.
  • ittybittybadonkadonk
    ittybittybadonkadonk Posts: 11,634 Member
    Anyone is welcome to add me .... wishing you much success in your healthy lifestyle :bigsmile:
  • Nerdybreisawesome
    Nerdybreisawesome Posts: 359 Member
    I only do it if it's been weeks not 3 days. What if the went on vacation and were out of cell range?
    I also unfriend if their ideas about eating are super duperly different than mine. If we clash that much, there won't be any support from either side, just bickering. I also unfriend if I find out you eat way to few calories.
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
    I have logged everyday for almost a year, more friends the merrier.
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
    Weeks yes. days no.
    Life happens.
    People die.
    Pets Die.
    Computers break.
    Power goes out for a week.
  • auntiemsgr8
    auntiemsgr8 Posts: 483 Member
    I love it when new people add me as a friend. It feels great to lose weight with other members of the MFP community.

    But the first time I see the "so and so has been inactive for three days" thing, I unfriend them. It's not because I don't want to be supportive, or because I think less of them. But I really want to stay committed to this, and the more people I see who have been away for a week or even a month, the harder it is to convince myself that I should take the effort to track everything, every day.

    So if you add me, wonderful! But please don't be offended if I unfriend you if you go on hiatus.


    Just curious, what if you were friends with me and I have inactivated that on my profile? Along with the 'so and so has logged in 525 days' and all/most of the other updates???
  • TNR32
    TNR32 Posts: 110 Member
    I think 3 days is too strict. I don't log for 3 days each month. Drill weekends. And no cell with internet capablities or laptop that I can bring with. So yeah I think 3 days is too strict.
  • lotusspark
    lotusspark Posts: 367
    I've only unfriended a handful, the reason in the past was non participants.. not trying to return the support.
    I have come back with the thought, even they might need a support motivator+ one day appreciate me.lol
    Besides I get a lot from the friendships on here..I have sent emails asking when they go absent 'hey, are
    you ok'?
    Aside from all that, I log everyday, have open diary+ accept new friends. =)
  • hubtech
    hubtech Posts: 43 Member
    I only do it if it's been weeks not 3 days. What if the went on vacation and were out of cell range?
    I also unfriend if their ideas about eating are super duperly different than mine. If we clash that much, there won't be any support from either side, just bickering. I also unfriend if I find out you eat way to few calories.

    ^^^ This for me too. Any one can add me if they are up for some mutual support.
  • baja572
    baja572 Posts: 94
    I wait longer than 3 days because some have been sick with fl;. and with families to tend they don't have time and energy to be on here. I understand your reasons.
  • Jubee31
    Jubee31 Posts: 93 Member
    3 days seems really short -- people go on vacations, have family emergencies, etc.... And what if they come back and see people have unfriended them? It's your decision obviously, but what if the tables were turned?
  • GrammyStacey3
    GrammyStacey3 Posts: 5
    just joined this site today trying to meet other people who are trying to eat healthier and excercise I am doing insanity with my husband. Anyone else doing insanity? any success stories?
  • leftoverbun
    leftoverbun Posts: 111 Member
    3 days? Wow. If each of my friends doesn't post a witty or supportive comment on my profile every 2 hours, I kick 'em to the curb.
  • tchnlrn
    tchnlrn Posts: 15 Member
    I didn't login most of this week - not because I wasn't committed but because I've had two days of work crisis M/T, my husband had a car crash W, and a family member died F. Life is like that.
  • kelcro40
    kelcro40 Posts: 115 Member
    I love it when new people add me as a friend. It feels great to lose weight with other members of the MFP community.

    But the first time I see the "so and so has been inactive for three days" thing, I unfriend them. It's not because I don't want to be supportive, or because I think less of them. But I really want to stay committed to this, and the more people I see who have been away for a week or even a month, the harder it is to convince myself that I should take the effort to track everything, every day.

    So if you add me, wonderful! But please don't be offended if I unfriend you if you go on hiatus.

    I feel the same way, but usually wait a while in case they just have life going on and can't get on for a few days or week etc. I went on two 2 week trips in 30 days time and logged in every day from my phone even when sick! Dedicated!
  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
    Feel free to add me!
  • ukloveme
    ukloveme Posts: 125
    This topic is hilarous, how you going to unfriend a person after 3 days. I wouldnt want you as a friend anyway what kind of support our you. One of my friends on MFP hadn't log in for two weeks and I was sending her email to say please come back. When she did reply it was a week later and her dad had die in car crash. i was amazed she even could reply after what happened. I was not logged in for a whole week due to my account been locked by MFP.

    Good Luck in your journey
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    I have never been affected by others not logging in. Also, there are times when mfp has gone awry and it has reported people as not having been on for the past month that I had interacted with earlier that morning. To each his own. As for me, I really don't worry too much about that. Occasionally I'll drop somebody I have not seen anything from for a fe months... but not a major factor with me.
  • ConnieAGinther
    ConnieAGinther Posts: 515 Member
    I'm forgiving with 3 days. Computers crash, vacations happen without laptops or cell phones (heaven forbid haha), and life happens in general. 3 just seems too strict.

    I don't know that I'd 'hang up' on someone until they've been gone for about a month. I'd probably send them a message first though. "hey, just checking in" kinda thing.

    Love this!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,284 Member
    I don't drop someone after 3 days unless they do it consistently....like log in once, then don't log in for a few days, then log in, then don't. I will unfriend someone if they are gone for a few weeks but not before I send them a message asking about them and see if they respond. Life happens and not everyone is a quitter....sometimes we just hit bumps. But to each his own. :)
  • Lovestoscrapbook
    Lovestoscrapbook Posts: 295 Member
    I personally think 3 days is too strict but to each their own. Life happens, people or pets die and I am here for my friends for the long haul. That means truly supporting them thru crises, whether it is food related, family or other life challenges. I would not want a friend who can't even stick with me for 3 days while I dealt with other things going on...I want them there when I return and need the continued support. Good luck.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I only do it if it's been weeks not 3 days. What if the went on vacation and were out of cell range?
    I also unfriend if their ideas about eating are super duperly different than mine. If we clash that much, there won't be any support from either side, just bickering. I also unfriend if I find out you eat way to few calories.

    ^this. i'm new but when i was new-ER i also unfriended at 3 days until one of my "friends" said he was in another country then i realized that was too strict. so now i keep them longer and then today got my first notification that someone unfriended me! haha karma.
  • jaycuepea
    jaycuepea Posts: 10
    I'm glad to read these replies. I'm just starting today and when I saw the post about unfriending someone who is "gone" for three days, I thought, "Oh my. I'm not in the right place." Sticking with cleaner ways of eating and also exercising is quite a struggle for me. To get on the computer each day and log things and maybe blog.........that a whole other battle! I need a place where it's okay to be imperfect.
  • crazydaisy15
    crazydaisy15 Posts: 47
    Just curious -- what do most of you expect from your friends? Do you expect a 'good job' or equivalent every time you exercise or complete your diary under your calorie goal?
    Personally, I read through my friends activities and if something hits close to home to me, or strikes a chord with me, I will comment. I also do the occasional 'good job' etc. Nothing wrong with that.
    Just wondering, because I really don't do it a lot, but don't want to disappoint any of my friends.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,861 Member
    Most people delete inactive friends but I have a no delete policy... it doesn't bother me and sometimes they come back, in fact most of them come back, and are grateful to still have a few friends still here.
  • friendly71
    friendly71 Posts: 4 Member
    Well you say it you have. It is very rude. Like things happen in life with people like the readers have mentioned.

    Oh I am sorry but that is a real hurtful remark. One of my family members broke her hip and she was rushed to the Hospital.


    Will be off her feet. For 8 weeks.

    I hope you never eat your words. Life is not perfect.

    Three days is a little much to throw them off the boat and let them swim home.

    For goodness sakes give it a month. Like the man said. Holidays, people die of cancer.

    Everyone is responsible of themselves yes and we know sooner or later that we have to be the boss of us. Yet we need the


    encouragement of others. You must of not read what they expect of us in this site or you would of never said that. . To be gentle

    and not being hurtful.

    So sorry but that was really a hurtful remark. So you made your point. Does that make you feel good?
  • wtfusernameisnttaken
    wtfusernameisnttaken Posts: 192
    to each their own... we had a death in the family not too long ago, and I lost my stride for about a week and bounced back. I didn't stop following my new lifestyle, but I did forget to log it all due to the stresses going on in our day to day. I have unfriended people after a month of hiatus, if you're gone a month, chances are you're not coming back.
  • coffee_rocks
    coffee_rocks Posts: 275 Member
    And this is why I have 0 friends on purpose. Friggin' high school all over again. No thanks.

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