I'm just going to come out and say it

13

Replies

  • oneofakind0
    oneofakind0 Posts: 8
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  • Beazy23
    Beazy23 Posts: 5
    3 days? Seriously? That seems somewhat strict and a bit controlling. Do as you wish. I thought this site was about encouragement and support? Anyway, do not bother to friend me because I travel for work and do not get the chance to log in each and everyday, each and every hour or each and every second. I will use this site solely for my purpose. My success depends on me. If anyone wants to friend me - Welcome!- I won't judge you. :flowerforyou:
  • Smoothroz
    Smoothroz Posts: 77 Member
    I don't unfriend those that are having a hard time with sticking with a plan. I feel they need encouragement from others. I thought we were here to help not to hurt or abandon others when they stumble.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    You are welcome to add me, but the same goes if you disappear. I try to give the benefit of the doubt for just in case there was a family issue or a trip, but if I see you haven't logged in for 15 days or more, I delete you. Things happen.
  • tpfoodie
    tpfoodie Posts: 148 Member
    All,

    Life does happen. I absolutely agree. People go on vacation, family members get sick. I don't look down on those who are away for three days, and I don't expect people to cheer me on. I'm surprised at the assumptions many jumped to about this.

    I'm not saying that people who do not log in or lazy, or unforgivable. It's not that at all. But I joined with a number of resolutionists, and began to lose motivation when I saw that 1/4 of my friends or more were going inactive. I sent a LOT of "hey, come back! How are you doing?" messages, but many of those people rarely returned.

    I am very supportive to those MFP friends that stick with it, and I'm sure those that I have unfriended don't even notice I'm gone.

    That's thing about this community. We have a lot of friends, but actually know anything about very few of them. Their successes drive us on, and their challenges motivate us to tackle our own. This is a great way to lose weight. But when people start dropping like flies, it's hard not to think "maybe this is too much for me right now" when I know that I can do it.

    I accept any and all friend requests. In fact, despite a lot of the negativity about my personal preferences on this thread, I've gotten about 30 requests since it has been posted. I don't know anything about the people that friend me other than the fact that they are on the way to making their lives better. That's why I don't worry too much when I unfriend someone - unless we have had regular interaction through MFP, I don't know anything about them. As for those that I DO know through the site, or those who announce that they will be away from MFP for a bit, I remain friends with them because I've become invested in their success.

    For those of you just joining, MFP IS a great place to be, and a good way to find motivation. But you need to find ways to keep you motivated, whatever it takes. Even if it means clearing your MFP feed of inactive users every now and then.
  • dolphinswimmer15
    dolphinswimmer15 Posts: 30
    I agree with 3 days being strict. If you look up color personalities, I have an orange. Organization and strict plan following come as a challenge for me. It's hard enough for me to follow the calories and the exercise. I log everyday because that makes following the calories and the exercise easier. This past week I took a break from the logging and keeping track. Yes for my own reasons I probably won't again. I logged in everyday, to read some blogs and check some message boards. I just didn't log my food or exercise. However a day may come where I don't log in, because I got distracted with life. Does this mean I fell off the wagon? Not necessarily, but I may have. If I fell off the wagon than I'd hope I'd get a note saying "hey, are you ok?" or something to that effect. I don't plan on unfriending anyone, as long as they treat me with respect and kindness. Just like I will treat all users (friend or not) with respect and kindness. As already stated in above comments, to each their own. I just think 3 days is too strict.
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    I just let it go. It makes me sad to see people give up but it does not deter me from path, nor does the fact they are trying a diet.
  • tpfoodie
    tpfoodie Posts: 148 Member
    And for the record, those of you referring to me as a control freak as using the term inaccurately.

    con·trol freak
    Noun
    A person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control and to take command of any situation.

    The only thing I seek to control in this situation is my MFP news feed. I don't warn my friends that they'll be deleted if they don't conform to my standards, and I don't demand anything from them. I don't exercise control or my will over them, and I certainly don't take command of whether or not they log their calories.
  • nonafit
    nonafit Posts: 582 Member
    This topic is hilarous, how you going to unfriend a person after 3 days. I wouldnt want you as a friend anyway what kind of support our you. One of my friends on MFP hadn't log in for two weeks and I was sending her email to say please come back. When she did reply it was a week later and her dad had die in car crash. i was amazed she even could reply after what happened. I was not logged in for a whole week due to my account been locked by MFP.

    Good Luck in your journey

    ^this
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    Yikes. I don't have a smart phone and my personal computer is a desktop, so if I go out of town I can't log in. I'm glad I have understanding friends. I'm still very aware of my intake, but I'm unable to log.

    Or I need to get really dedicated and start taking my desktop with me. Uber practical. :D
  • dwalt15110
    dwalt15110 Posts: 246 Member
    In actuality, you are controlling. You have told us that unless we log in every day, you will not be friends with us. Wow. It sounds so primary schoolish. You know what I mean: If you don't do what I want, I'm going to take my ball and go home.

    As far as I am concerned, whether a person logs on or not should have no direct bearing on you personally. Some people have busy schedules and are lucky they find the time to log their food choices and exercise. I have a lot of weight to lose, but I certainly am not going to stop my journey because someone else doesn't log on and I am not about to defriend anyone either.
  • skunkyg
    skunkyg Posts: 1
    just joined this site today trying to meet other people who are trying to eat healthier and excercise I am doing insanity with my husband. Anyone else doing insanity? any success stories?

    I am new as well and just started Insanity today! I've been trimming down since Christmas (11 pounds) but now it's time to ramp up from casual Zumba on the PS3.

    Too early for success stories but I took my before pics today, excited to see what the afters look like in a few months.
  • klmetcalf89
    klmetcalf89 Posts: 25 Member
    im on here everyday and will be for a while.. anyone feel free to add me love the friendship and motivation!
  • neniplatas
    neniplatas Posts: 25 Member
    Wow....you actually have time to go through your friends list every 3 days?


    I just came back to MFP after a pretty hectic month, happy to see my MFP friends spared me :p

    LOL! :tongue: Really!
  • MariaHammer750
    MariaHammer750 Posts: 86 Member
    3 days? Wow. If each of my friends doesn't post a witty or supportive comment on my profile every 2 hours, I kick 'em to the curb.



    LOL
  • Supern0va81
    Supern0va81 Posts: 168 Member
    I wonder if you can add food ahead and still have it log you in? E.g. if you know that you are going on holiday and are self catering so can plan your food ahead? Just a thought...

    Anyway, thanks to my friends that I have made on here and welcome to the new ones. I am committed to this as a lifestyle change realising that I am weaker when I don't plan ahead and more likely to overeat/binge unnecessarily. A healthy lifestyle balance seems to work best for me; no diet plans and reflecting on how I feel at the end of each day. If the intake is junk food and the morale is low and the weights sticking then I know what needs to be done ;) Good luck on your journeys :smile:
  • beskimoosh
    beskimoosh Posts: 375 Member
    I've got friends on here who struggle with their health, or who have a lot going on in their personal life, and they're just the ones I know about! I usually unfriend after a month of not logging in, because I realised that not logging in for 3 days doesn't mean they're not committed, it means they have a life outside of this, that things sometimes happen in.

    The main reason I unfriend people is if they're constantly whinging, creating drama or eating like 200 calories a day. I have friends who have ED's and are trying to beat them, but if people are boasting about it, then I unfriend pretty quickly!
  • ISABELCOADY55
    ISABELCOADY55 Posts: 113 Member
    I joined 8 days ago and already I see these messages that people haven't logged in for so many days.

    I'm thinking, day-um, did I put them off or someting...
  • janatarnhem
    janatarnhem Posts: 669 Member
    Three days is too short... I think unfriending them is unsupportive for only 3 days!
  • autumnsnow786
    autumnsnow786 Posts: 279 Member
    Lol I give it a month.
  • mummielle
    mummielle Posts: 2
    The same thing always happens to me! It's really annoying, so just feel free to friend me. I'm committed to this and will not stop. :)
  • debs398
    debs398 Posts: 24 Member
    Crikey that means when I o on holiday for two weeks and don't log I am probably coming back to no friends
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    Wow. I guess I'm glad I'm not friends with some of you, because when i was in the hospital for a week and didn't have access to either a computer or a phone, I was really in need of support and understanding when I came back. Life happens. But you do what you need to do, it is your account, after all.
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
    I tend to drop people after they have been inactive for at least three weeks. I know sometimes people go on vacation and dont log during that time. I would still log..because even the ugly days can help you learn something...but thats just me. By the way...anyone feel free to add me anytime. :smile:
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I love it when new people add me as a friend. It feels great to lose weight with other members of the MFP community.

    But the first time I see the "so and so has been inactive for three days" thing, I unfriend them. It's not because I don't want to be supportive, or because I think less of them. But I really want to stay committed to this, and the more people I see who have been away for a week or even a month, the harder it is to convince myself that I should take the effort to track everything, every day.

    So if you add me, wonderful! But please don't be offended if I unfriend you if you go on hiatus.

    what abou tpeople who go on holiday, or isnt that allowed?!
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    I delete after 3 months.
  • SStrauss79
    SStrauss79 Posts: 124 Member
    Agreed. I just did a sweep of my friends list the other day. Feel free to add me!
  • EllennD
    EllennD Posts: 96 Member
    i make sure i log on daily or if i am unable too at least every other day!
  • beequipped
    beequipped Posts: 34 Member
    I agree
  • christabel6
    christabel6 Posts: 173 Member
    I had flu just after Christmas after logging in every day since I first started back in October so missed logging for about a week - I wasn't eating anything except two scrambled eggs a day anyway. So another vote for 3 days is too strict ;-)

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