Is it better to respond or let it go?

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SMarie10
SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
in Chit-Chat
A friend said something not so nice to me last night. I bit my tongue and let is pass, but been stewing about it all day, and wish I would have said something back to her about how she treated me. I also think maybe it was better that I did not respond and took the high road.

So, do you regret more what you wish you would have said or what was you did say?
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Replies

  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    i regret more the things I do say. after the days pass, i am always happy of whatever i did not say. makes me feel like i took the high road in the end.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I would say what I think. Except I am usually ready for whatever consequences that come.
  • yager8725
    yager8725 Posts: 267 Member
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    I think twice about everything I say. Let the other person be the DILL WHOLE!!
  • Cognito1025
    Cognito1025 Posts: 323 Member
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    I think twice about everything I say. Let the other person be the DILL WHOLE!!

    This.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    You could always write it out in great detail, then burn it, put it away to read it a month from now, or put it in a bottle and toss it into the ocean or river.
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
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    You could always write it out in great detail, then burn it, put it away to read it a month from now, or put it in a bottle and toss it into the ocean or river.
    THe whole thing wasn't too dramatic, it just really pissed me off. This is happened before with this friend, and I've never said anything back. I think I'll let her know how I feel next time I see her.
  • KainStar
    KainStar Posts: 197
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    Depends on the situation and whom it was. 9/10 I say how I feel. But as I got older I ignore a lot of things people say to me if its hurtful. I don't let anyone alter my mood.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    You should defend yourself. To prevent behavior. But not in the lash out or come-back type approach. Just tell them straight up what they said was hurtful and not what you would want or expect to hear from a friend. Take a logical approach. Sometimes people are totally oblivious to what they say around others or are having a horrible day anyways. If they are a true friend they will apologize and move on. If not then you can know you took the high road and distance yourself.

    Above all things though do not tolerate disrespect. Especially if it was a serious comment leaving you hurt. But misunderstanding can be a easy contributor to this.
  • navywendy00
    navywendy00 Posts: 40
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    I used to bite my tongue on a lot of things, but then people walked all over me. More I say what's on my mind regardless.
  • oudixon
    oudixon Posts: 389 Member
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    I am always reminded by an old saying my dad once told me "Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." I have always thought this was good advice, because usually it's pointless to argue with them anyways.
  • Larisonlj
    Larisonlj Posts: 426 Member
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    You could always write it out in great detail, then burn it, put it away to read it a month from now, or put it in a bottle and toss it into the ocean or river.
    THe whole thing wasn't too dramatic, it just really pissed me off. This is happened before with this friend, and I've never said anything back. I think I'll let her know how I feel next time I see her.
    If you do say something, make it clear what she said and how it offended you. Also that you would like her to remain a friend but you won't tolerate being treated xxx way.
    Otherwise, choose to forgive so you can let it go and not let it burn negatively inside you, then maybe distance yourself somewhat.
    Good luck.
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    Try talking to her? let her know how it made you feel.
  • hanahughes
    hanahughes Posts: 5
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    I can get a bit hot headed when I'm in the moment and say things i want to say but perhaps shouldn't of haha..I do regret it once I have calmed down and thought about it though!! So i think that it's maybe better to sit and think and let your self calm down and if it still bothers you then perhaps politely go and say something
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
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    If you are still stewing about it, then you need to talk it over with her. BUT think it through. You don't want the situation to snowball. But letting it fester isn't any better.
    I had a friend mad at me a while back because another person didn't want her to go on a ladder to fix something, and she thought I told people she was afraid of heights. She was mad at me for WEEKS without telling me why. Then she did. I ended up telling her a) I didn't mention it to anyone. b) I'm not mad at her for THINKING I did, because I didn't realize it was a secret and COULD HAVE if the topic somehow (unlikely) came up. c) I am mad at her for stewing about this for weeks and treating me like I've done something wrong and didn't know what. If she had TOLD me right away, I'd have probably snapped that I didn't, but it would have been OVER in two seconds. d) As far as I'm concerned the situation is over now and I'm putting it behind me and the rest is up to her.
    The point of my story? The more it festers, the more out of proportion things get.
  • whitehairedguy64
    whitehairedguy64 Posts: 105
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    I've been told that I'm "unfiltered". You can guess what that means. There are times, such as today, when it is best for me to keep my mouth shut!
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    I would say what I think. Except I am usually ready for whatever consequences that come.

    I agree. Because there are really consequences for holding your tongue too. i.e., your friend is left thinking that it is ok to talk to you this way.
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
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    If you've been thinking about it all day. I say; say something.
    Don't be all argumentive about it, don't call your friend names or get upset, but let them know that what they said made you mad. If things heat up, then take yourself out of it.

    The regretful things we say, most often happen when it comes from anger. But if you're simply expressing how you feel, without trying to jab at the other person, that's when improvements can be made.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    I would say what I think. Except I am usually ready for whatever consequences that come.

    I agree. Because there are really consequences for holding your tongue too. i.e., your friend is left thinking that it is ok to talk to you this way.
    This. And this.
    "We teach people how to treat us."
  • skm4jc
    skm4jc Posts: 62 Member
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    It's probably better that you didn't respond in the heat of the moment. If this person truly is a friend, approach him/her about it now that a little time has passed. Be as polite as possible, perhaps saying something like "I can't get what you said the other day out of my head. It really hurt me." If you need to ask why it was said, that is also the time to do so. I, personally, was recently your friend and had to fix things. I was drunk and stupid and it came out badly. I went to drastic measures (including but not limited to lots of crying, begging, and apologizing all over the place) to make sure my friend understood how important our friendship was. If this is a true friendship, things will work out. They may be rough for awhile, but it will work out.
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
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    Nvm

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