Are you "unfiltered"?
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Some people are fast and free with delivering a message that with a little time, could have been just as honest, but delivered more tactfully and maybe a little more effectively, myself included in that description from time to time. I do think someone who delivers the line " Oh, I'm not a bicch, I'm just unfiltered." though is likely to be the person who says, "Not to be (rude, mean, disrespectful, a bicch, whatever), but..." and then proceeds to be rude, mean, deisrespectful, a bicch, whatever. I think people should be whoever they are, but when they preface with those statements, they know they're jerks, but want to give themselves a fake out.
On the same note, it annoys me when people apologize but either add "I'm sorry but..." or "I'm sorry if it hurt your feelings", either apologize for what you did or don't, don't add provisions, otherwise, it lacks complete integrity to offer provisional apologies.0 -
I am an extremely honest person, but in my experience honesty also involves intelligence and taking time to really think about things, process them, think them through, determine if something is in fact true or not before just spouting it out, pass it through many filters of understanding and what you have learned over the course of your life before you can determine the truthfulness of what you are saying and where it is coming from. Honesty requires self reflection, not mindlessness (because it is impossible for a person's every single first thought to always be correct). Being "unfiltered" could just mean lazy. But, from reading this thread, I see that some people have a different definition of what this all means (it is not my intention to insult anyone. People are more filtered than they realize)
^^ This exactly !! Only I never could have stated it so eloquently0 -
n2thenight24.................yes I do. Thank you for asking.0
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I am an extremely honest person, but in my experience honesty also involves intelligence and taking time to really think about things, process them, think them through, determine if something is in fact true or not before just spouting it out, pass it through many filters of understanding and what you have learned over the course of your life before you can determine the truthfulness of what you are saying and where it is coming from. Honesty requires self reflection, not mindlessness (because it is impossible for a person's every single first thought to always be correct). Being "unfiltered" could just mean lazy. But, from reading this thread, I see that some people have a different definition of what this all means (it is not my intention to insult anyone. People are more filtered than they realize)
^^ This exactly !! Only I never could have stated it so eloquently
Thank you!
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I am an extremely honest person, but in my experience honesty also involves intelligence and taking time to really think about things, process them, think them through, determine if something is in fact true or not before just spouting it out, pass it through many filters of understanding and what you have learned over the course of your life before you can determine the truthfulness of what you are saying and where it is coming from. Honesty requires self reflection, not mindlessness (because it is impossible for a person's every single first thought to always be correct). Being "unfiltered" could just mean lazy. But, from reading this thread, I see that some people have a different definition of what this all means (it is not my intention to insult anyone. People are more filtered than they realize)
Mad respect.0 -
This thread would be more exciting if it was about beer. Because as a great band once said "Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good, AND STUFF"
This is what I was thinking when I read this post. If I was as unfiltered as my thoughts I'd be jobless, friendless, and my kids would hate me. Also many of the thoughts I may have initially I find are not what I'd consider my best thoughts, because anger, sleep deprivation, annoyance, etc it all plays into your emotions and how you think... But I agree that some people deserve brutal honesty.I am heavily filtered. Heavily.
Sometimes I surprise myself with the level of insensitivity of some of the thoughts that pass through my brain. I'm glad I have enough sense to keep them there.
That's not to say I am not truthful. I don't think honesty and filtered are mutually exclusive.
Ultimately, and perhaps ironically, I think this has made me a better communicator. If I am truly wanting something I am saying to be received, then I need to communicate it in a way the receiver will best understand it. Using my "filter" allows me to do that.0 -
This thread would be more exciting if it was about beer. Because as a great band once said "Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good, AND STUFF"
This is what I was thinking when I read this post. If I was as unfiltered as my thoughts I'd be jobless, friendless, and my kids would hate me. Also many of the thoughts I may have initially I find are not what I'd consider my best thoughts, because anger, sleep deprivation, annoyance, etc it all plays into your emotions and how you think... But I agree that some people deserve brutal honesty.I am heavily filtered. Heavily.
Sometimes I surprise myself with the level of insensitivity of some of the thoughts that pass through my brain. I'm glad I have enough sense to keep them there.
That's not to say I am not truthful. I don't think honesty and filtered are mutually exclusive.
Ultimately, and perhaps ironically, I think this has made me a better communicator. If I am truly wanting something I am saying to be received, then I need to communicate it in a way the receiver will best understand it. Using my "filter" allows me to do that.
This^^ People will not take your "advice" if you come across brash and rude. It may hurt their feelings, but anything you say will not be taken to heart. At least not in a good constructive way.0 -
In this case, I think 'unfiltered' essentially means I lack tact, charm and/or sublety.0
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Ya'll dont want me "unfiltered" the things that already come out of my mouth i can't believe half the time..
but, seriously my head is a scary place..be thankful i keep my mouth shut,because if i didnt,lord, id probally make people cry.but, i dont want to be that person.and i was taught to keep my mouth shut if i cant say anything nice.
but, it's gettin hard these days to keep my mouth shut with hoe-hoe number 1 & hoe-hoe number 2 in my classes airing there buisness..0 -
I am heavily filtered. Heavily.
Sometimes I surprise myself with the level of insensitivity of some of the thoughts that pass through my brain. I'm glad I have enough sense to keep them there.
That's not to say I am not truthful. I don't think honesty and filtered are mutually exclusive.
^^^ this....I filter EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth. And I've still been told I'm a mean drunk....I'm not..but I do suffer from less inhibition when I drink...and sometimes things that really need to be said, come out. I'm pretty sure I'll never get all the shoe prints off my back...and yet I still allow it. Still...the crap that crosses my mind that never comes out of my mouth boggles the mind....y'all are welcome.0 -
I can only quote one but I must refer to Binary Pular's often quoted 2nd post. Eloquent and dead on.I think you nailed it. Society demands that we "filter" ourselves. Even these "unfiltered" types are still filtering. They're not walking around nude are they? Because society demands that we clothe ourselves (okay, it's February and freezing, and that may have something to do with it. Still.) These unfiltered folks still look to compliment the people they care about (or want something from). Everything that is said and everything we project into the world goes through our own personal filter. People with Asperger's Syndrome suffer from not being able to filter correctly, and this is a mental disorder. No one chooses to be "unfiltered". They choose to be rude, or condescending, or whatever. But not unfiltered.
^this too. I see the word "filtered" and think of it in a clinical context and feel like that people who are "borrowing" the term to excuse themselves from the rules of the rest of humanity are just using a catchy term they may not know the full meaning of and hiding behind it to be all those negative things you've all said they are. It's like all of a sudden everyone's a shock jock or crass comedian on the level of Howard Stern or Eddie Murphy Raw. Not good. Not for the whole entire world of people with regular jobs and roles in life. Especially not good when used as an excuse to bash anyone. Now in my case I am a little less on the side of PC and a little more on the side of accurate with my descriptions of people, and truth is a major big deal to me so I err on the side of honesty in any dillema even with the risks that entails. However, I will write, rewrite, think, hem and haw, and ponder to find the right way to be honest when the situation demands it. I do like to have my fun though, so if you'll all excuse me I don't mean to be a bicch but I've got other fish to fry, like the hairy chested men board. Ciao!0 -
I rather like this quote from a book I was just reading:
"A skunk is better company than a man who prides himself on being frank."0 -
Filtration is akin to refinement.
So when someone says they are unfiltered, they are essentially saying they are unrefined.
They are unrefined and they know it. They could strive toward greater refinement but settle for crass vulgarity.
It's a scandalous state of affairs and reflects rather poorly on our cultural as a whole, if you ask me.
NOTE: This post has been edited to correct typographical errors and to add that I'm so fancy that I poop into a tophat.
Agreed.
On a side note, I'd also have to add that communication is only as effective as it's heard. So hurling insulting "observations" at some people will be far less effective than throwing the same words & tones at others, and less than half the time would it really ever have been helpful to better the world anyway.0 -
I have been told I am brutally honest and say what I think, but I also love that quality in another person.
All of my closest friends are the same (sparing a few who I share a yin/yang relationship with) and I think it's important to be this way. I have learnt when to bite my tongue and am getting better at it as I get older but generally it gets you further to just be honest with people.0 -
I can only quote one but I must refer to Binary Pular's often quoted 2nd post. Eloquent and dead on.I think you nailed it. Society demands that we "filter" ourselves. Even these "unfiltered" types are still filtering. They're not walking around nude are they? Because society demands that we clothe ourselves (okay, it's February and freezing, and that may have something to do with it. Still.) These unfiltered folks still look to compliment the people they care about (or want something from). Everything that is said and everything we project into the world goes through our own personal filter. People with Asperger's Syndrome suffer from not being able to filter correctly, and this is a mental disorder. No one chooses to be "unfiltered". They choose to be rude, or condescending, or whatever. But not unfiltered.
^this too. I see the word "filtered" and think of it in a clinical context and feel like that people who are "borrowing" the term to excuse themselves from the rules of the rest of humanity are just using a catchy term they may not know the full meaning of and hiding behind it to be all those negative things you've all said they are. It's like all of a sudden everyone's a shock jock or crass comedian on the level of Howard Stern or Eddie Murphy Raw. Not good. Not for the whole entire world of people with regular jobs and roles in life. Especially not good when used as an excuse to bash anyone. Now in my case I am a little less on the side of PC and a little more on the side of accurate with my descriptions of people, and truth is a major big deal to me so I err on the side of honesty in any dillema even with the risks that entails. However, I will write, rewrite, think, hem and haw, and ponder to find the right way to be honest when the situation demands it. I do like to have my fun though, so if you'll all excuse me I don't mean to be a bicch but I've got other fish to fry, like the hairy chested men board. Ciao!
Lol, you're my new BFF.0 -
[img]http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x56/amtrak12/Gif Collection/tumblr_lxob6cuppA1qb4mxmo1_500.gif[/img]
BRAVO. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm unfiltered.
And I HATE it. It's not fun and it's not cool and I'm not particularly proud of it. It's embarrassing and mortifying and I wind up saying all the wrong things at the wrong time in front of the wrong people. If I'm lucky, everyone around me just thinks I'm an idiot. If I'm not so lucky, I've actually wound up hurting someone and then I feel awful.
(Not to long ago I managed to crack a joke to a dear friend that he was a womanizer - not knowing that his recent girlfriend had died of cancer. I hurt him with that and should have remembered that she had been ill - I did not. And recently the filter came off when I made an off-hand comment to a professor of mine that I had to back up with "But I'm not hitting on you, I swear!") *facepalm*
Part of the problems that come with my head - and over the years, I've picked up some tricks to help keep my mouth shut in mixed company. It doesn't always work, though, and I just have to pray that those around me will either laugh or else just roll their eyes and brush it off.
Consequently, I've discovered that human beings are much more tolerant when you apologize and explain to them what was going on. It's reassuring and helps me keep working on it.0 -
I think you nailed it. Society demands that we "filter" ourselves. Even these "unfiltered" types are still filtering. They're not walking around nude are they? Because society demands that we clothe ourselves (okay, it's February and freezing, and that may have something to do with it. Still.) These unfiltered folks still look to compliment the people they care about (or want something from). Everything that is said and everything we project into the world goes through our own personal filter. People with Asperger's Syndrome suffer from not being able to filter correctly, and this is a mental disorder. No one chooses to be "unfiltered". They choose to be rude, or condescending, or whatever. But not unfiltered.
I'm thinking society isn't demanding enough. Have you been in a class of 8th or 9th graders recently?0 -
I'm self filtering and if I can't be then I step away from the thread.0
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It is possible to both 'filter' and be honest - you just have to be even more selective about the filtering.
I do pride myself on being pretty honest.
It means that people will ask my opinion because they know they'll generally get the truth - and hopefully a well thought out and considered one.
If I'm not provoked and don't want to offer a positive opinion, I won't.
So people know that if they get praise from me it's because I genuinely mean it, not because I'm just trying to make them feel better.
And sure; there are a lot of times where I might think all sorts of nasty things, but manage to keep my mouth shut.
With someone I know better, I may open it, but keep it coldly logical, rather than getting emotional - throwing a hisssy fit isn't going to help me (though I appreciate it may help some to convey the sincerity of their feelings.)0 -
It is possible to both 'filter' and be honest - you just have to be even more selective about the filtering.
I do pride myself on being pretty honest.
It means that people will ask my opinion because they know they'll generally get the truth - and hopefully a well thought out and considered one.
If I'm not provoked and don't want to offer a positive opinion, I won't.
So people know that if they get praise from me it's because I genuinely mean it, not because I'm just trying to make them feel better.
And sure; there are a lot of times where I might think all sorts of nasty things, but manage to keep my mouth shut.
With someone I know better, I may open it, but keep it coldly logical, rather than getting emotional - throwing a hisssy fit isn't going to help me (though I appreciate it may help some to convey the sincerity of their feelings.)
Yes.
if i said even 8% of the first things that pop into my head theres a good chance id be institutionalized. my mind is so freaking random its not even funny. I never try to be funny to impress people. i only say things i find funny. sometimes its a hit sometimes its a miss.
if i dont say something smartassery to my friends they assume i am mad at them. since im single and a guy it is expected of me to say things the others in the group are thinking but cant cause their married and husbands and wives etc...
i dont go up to people and say ewww youre ugly or youre fat or you smell or hey nice rack (guys always take THAT the wrong way). but if you ask me a question or my opinion on something i will give it to you. and i wont sugar coat it or say it in a way to try to get in your pants. thats probably one of the reasons i am single is i dont kiss *kitten* to try to sweet talk a gal.0
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