Folks with daughters....

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SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
in Chit-Chat
I don't really like posting this under chit chat fun and games and such, because this is where I go to post things of a not so serious nature, but tonight, I have a serious topic (I know it's a miracle). I want to share with those of you who have daughters, something I witnessed today that torqued me to no end, and caution you to have a frank and honest discussion with them about their safety.

This afternoon, I took my youngest to the local Y so he could get his workout in. Because I had already completed my official workout this morning, I decided to go for a swim and spend some time in the hot tub and steam room. After swimming a few laps for 30 minutes, I hit the steamroom.

I was in there with another guy who looked to be in his late 30s early 40s. These 2 teenage girls came in and sat down. They were at most 14 years old. They were both slim and wearing bikinis. They were discussing their drama in the school that they went to. This guy starts cutting into the conversation and talking to the girls. Pretty soon, he is scooching over to their side of the steamroom, and talking with them. I begin to take notice more as he moved in closer to the girls.

After about 10 minutes, he starts to subtly guide the discussion towards the inappropriate. The girls begin to laugh nervously. One of the girls, you can tell, is getting uncomfortable with the situation. She stands up, and tells her friend that it is getting too hot for her, and she is going to go to the sauna instead. She moves toward the door, and her friend stands up as well. The guy grabs her wrist, and says something to the effect that the girl is obviously having fun talking, and her friend will be fine in the sauna without her. Won't she stay and talk with him some more? He appeals to her desire to be grown up, and not a child with some line about understanding that when you're not a grown up woman, you have this need to be with your friends, but a grownup would hang out and talk. The girl went to sit back down next to the guy, and looked to the door.

I looked at her and said, she should probably not ditch her friend as they came together, and that was not a cool thing to do and her friend would probably be upset. I gave the guy a dirty look, but I don't know if he saw it through the steam. The girl got up, and hesitantly walked to the door, and then dashed through it. The guy then laughed and got up and left.

I stayed back for a couple of minutes, and then my conscience got the better of me. I got up and went to the sauna, and saw the two girls there talking about how creepy/awesome it was that that guy was totally interested in talking with them. The guy was not there, and I checked the locker room to report him to the front desk, but there was no sign of him. He must have high-tailed it outta there.

Just make sure that your kids know that there are some creepy predators out there, and teach them how to resist. It really irked me that this guy appealed to the girls desire to be grown up, and used that as a tool to try and get friendly with this girl.

grrrrrrr.
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Replies

  • babyshme
    babyshme Posts: 310 Member
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    Thank you for being a man and saying something! I have 3 daughters. I am mean. I have told them if any one tries to touch them or even talk to them. To kick them and bite them and scream. I don't care how they hurt the person.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    Thank you for stepping in.

    Wow. That he would do it while someone else was in the room too... disgusting! I'd want to find his face with my fist.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    All I have to say is that in this situation, I am very glad you were there. I am glad there are more men like you in this world than men like him. But you are right. Teaching daughters (and even sons) to be wary of predators is very important.

    Thank you for being there.
  • jaf0507
    jaf0507 Posts: 1
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    Thank you so much for saying something! I'm an 18 year old senior girl and you wouldn't believe how often this happens, or how at that age how difficult the situation can be! REAL men like you give me hope.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    Well done sir. I almost want to say you should have gone after him then and there but I get it. You did the right thing by intervening in the way you did.

    And yes, always be having this conversation with your daughters. It's not a one time, oh I've given the talk type of thing.
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Thanks for stepping in.

    3 daughters, 5 hand guns. I got this covered.
  • Crazy4Healthy
    Crazy4Healthy Posts: 626 Member
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    All I can say is WOW... and thank you for stepping up. It's enough to worry about the teenage boys and girls and their hormones, shouldn't have to worry about grown men and women. Thank you!!
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Yes...thank you for stepping in & saying something. Creepers lurk everywhere, unfortunately...I have an 11 year old daughter & I've told her she's allowed to use everything she learned in karate and a few other dirty tricks to get away from someone like that.

    I've told my son (he's 8) the same thing, too.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
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    Holy Crap.


    Well done. I would've punched him in the nuts. Hard.
  • RobinvdM
    RobinvdM Posts: 634 Member
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    Kudos to you for stepping up. That other guy was completely inappropriate, borderline needing a punch in the face. Good for you for restraining yourself and helping the girls out.
  • fmebear
    fmebear Posts: 172 Member
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    Thank you for stepping in as well as reporting the creep. It sounds like he is trolling the Y for a young girl. I have a little girl who is still just a baby (age 3) and she is the most social little thing. I can see this will be a HUGE topic over and over in our house with her. Also with my son and how to appropriately step in to protect someone.
  • Bbwnomore2
    Bbwnomore2 Posts: 225 Member
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    thank you so much for being there.
  • originalkazila
    originalkazila Posts: 200
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    I am so happy you stepped in. As a security guard I often get involved professionally after the creeps have followed them home and now the girls are afraid even to walk to class.

    From a professional stand point, record the event on paper with times and dates and if you ever see that man again, report him. It's never too late to report this kind of thing. Hopefully those girls learn that it was more creepy than awesome.

    So help me God if I ever saw a man grab a random girl like that.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    Goodness.

    One thing I do note here is that the conversation they were having afterward should have remained about how it was creepy, because that's not at all awesome. I think a good reminder here is to teach our teens that although it could be considered 'flattering' in some sense, it was more creepy than awesome.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Thank you for saving these girls!! I wish my parents had been that involved when I was in my early teens, would have saved me a lot of heartache.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    i was gonna send you a link to the topic "did i overreact at the gym today" but it won't come up. unsure if that means it's deleted.

    but here is this one

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/864976-father-brings-his-daughter-into-the-men-s-locker-room?hl=4+year+old+in+men's+locker&page=14#posts-13030644

    clearly gym's need to rethink the amenities they provide and whether they are coed or not and age limits. the whole thing seems to be making people uncomfortable in many ways.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    We need to teach our girls that they don't need to be so nice and polite that they get themselves molested when they go out their front door. They don't have to put up with that kind of behavior in order to be polite. That guy was way out of line. Thanks for stepping in.
  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
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    I would never allow my scantily dressed young teen daughter to sit in a steam room with strangers!
  • paulabubble
    paulabubble Posts: 3 Member
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    I would have told the dirty child molester to get the @#$% out of there. This is how these things start, those poor girls were just hanging out - look what could have happened? Good on you - but I would have been more aggressive toward him and told him he was a dirty pedophile.......................
  • coyoteo
    coyoteo Posts: 532 Member
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    Kudos to you for saying something!

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