Folks with daughters....
SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
Posts: 6,256 Member
in Chit-Chat
I don't really like posting this under chit chat fun and games and such, because this is where I go to post things of a not so serious nature, but tonight, I have a serious topic (I know it's a miracle). I want to share with those of you who have daughters, something I witnessed today that torqued me to no end, and caution you to have a frank and honest discussion with them about their safety.
This afternoon, I took my youngest to the local Y so he could get his workout in. Because I had already completed my official workout this morning, I decided to go for a swim and spend some time in the hot tub and steam room. After swimming a few laps for 30 minutes, I hit the steamroom.
I was in there with another guy who looked to be in his late 30s early 40s. These 2 teenage girls came in and sat down. They were at most 14 years old. They were both slim and wearing bikinis. They were discussing their drama in the school that they went to. This guy starts cutting into the conversation and talking to the girls. Pretty soon, he is scooching over to their side of the steamroom, and talking with them. I begin to take notice more as he moved in closer to the girls.
After about 10 minutes, he starts to subtly guide the discussion towards the inappropriate. The girls begin to laugh nervously. One of the girls, you can tell, is getting uncomfortable with the situation. She stands up, and tells her friend that it is getting too hot for her, and she is going to go to the sauna instead. She moves toward the door, and her friend stands up as well. The guy grabs her wrist, and says something to the effect that the girl is obviously having fun talking, and her friend will be fine in the sauna without her. Won't she stay and talk with him some more? He appeals to her desire to be grown up, and not a child with some line about understanding that when you're not a grown up woman, you have this need to be with your friends, but a grownup would hang out and talk. The girl went to sit back down next to the guy, and looked to the door.
I looked at her and said, she should probably not ditch her friend as they came together, and that was not a cool thing to do and her friend would probably be upset. I gave the guy a dirty look, but I don't know if he saw it through the steam. The girl got up, and hesitantly walked to the door, and then dashed through it. The guy then laughed and got up and left.
I stayed back for a couple of minutes, and then my conscience got the better of me. I got up and went to the sauna, and saw the two girls there talking about how creepy/awesome it was that that guy was totally interested in talking with them. The guy was not there, and I checked the locker room to report him to the front desk, but there was no sign of him. He must have high-tailed it outta there.
Just make sure that your kids know that there are some creepy predators out there, and teach them how to resist. It really irked me that this guy appealed to the girls desire to be grown up, and used that as a tool to try and get friendly with this girl.
grrrrrrr.
This afternoon, I took my youngest to the local Y so he could get his workout in. Because I had already completed my official workout this morning, I decided to go for a swim and spend some time in the hot tub and steam room. After swimming a few laps for 30 minutes, I hit the steamroom.
I was in there with another guy who looked to be in his late 30s early 40s. These 2 teenage girls came in and sat down. They were at most 14 years old. They were both slim and wearing bikinis. They were discussing their drama in the school that they went to. This guy starts cutting into the conversation and talking to the girls. Pretty soon, he is scooching over to their side of the steamroom, and talking with them. I begin to take notice more as he moved in closer to the girls.
After about 10 minutes, he starts to subtly guide the discussion towards the inappropriate. The girls begin to laugh nervously. One of the girls, you can tell, is getting uncomfortable with the situation. She stands up, and tells her friend that it is getting too hot for her, and she is going to go to the sauna instead. She moves toward the door, and her friend stands up as well. The guy grabs her wrist, and says something to the effect that the girl is obviously having fun talking, and her friend will be fine in the sauna without her. Won't she stay and talk with him some more? He appeals to her desire to be grown up, and not a child with some line about understanding that when you're not a grown up woman, you have this need to be with your friends, but a grownup would hang out and talk. The girl went to sit back down next to the guy, and looked to the door.
I looked at her and said, she should probably not ditch her friend as they came together, and that was not a cool thing to do and her friend would probably be upset. I gave the guy a dirty look, but I don't know if he saw it through the steam. The girl got up, and hesitantly walked to the door, and then dashed through it. The guy then laughed and got up and left.
I stayed back for a couple of minutes, and then my conscience got the better of me. I got up and went to the sauna, and saw the two girls there talking about how creepy/awesome it was that that guy was totally interested in talking with them. The guy was not there, and I checked the locker room to report him to the front desk, but there was no sign of him. He must have high-tailed it outta there.
Just make sure that your kids know that there are some creepy predators out there, and teach them how to resist. It really irked me that this guy appealed to the girls desire to be grown up, and used that as a tool to try and get friendly with this girl.
grrrrrrr.
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Replies
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Thank you for being a man and saying something! I have 3 daughters. I am mean. I have told them if any one tries to touch them or even talk to them. To kick them and bite them and scream. I don't care how they hurt the person.0
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Thank you for stepping in.
Wow. That he would do it while someone else was in the room too... disgusting! I'd want to find his face with my fist.0 -
All I have to say is that in this situation, I am very glad you were there. I am glad there are more men like you in this world than men like him. But you are right. Teaching daughters (and even sons) to be wary of predators is very important.
Thank you for being there.0 -
Thank you so much for saying something! I'm an 18 year old senior girl and you wouldn't believe how often this happens, or how at that age how difficult the situation can be! REAL men like you give me hope.0
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Well done sir. I almost want to say you should have gone after him then and there but I get it. You did the right thing by intervening in the way you did.
And yes, always be having this conversation with your daughters. It's not a one time, oh I've given the talk type of thing.0 -
Thanks for stepping in.
3 daughters, 5 hand guns. I got this covered.0 -
All I can say is WOW... and thank you for stepping up. It's enough to worry about the teenage boys and girls and their hormones, shouldn't have to worry about grown men and women. Thank you!!0
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Yes...thank you for stepping in & saying something. Creepers lurk everywhere, unfortunately...I have an 11 year old daughter & I've told her she's allowed to use everything she learned in karate and a few other dirty tricks to get away from someone like that.
I've told my son (he's 8) the same thing, too.0 -
Holy Crap.
Well done. I would've punched him in the nuts. Hard.0 -
Kudos to you for stepping up. That other guy was completely inappropriate, borderline needing a punch in the face. Good for you for restraining yourself and helping the girls out.0
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Thank you for stepping in as well as reporting the creep. It sounds like he is trolling the Y for a young girl. I have a little girl who is still just a baby (age 3) and she is the most social little thing. I can see this will be a HUGE topic over and over in our house with her. Also with my son and how to appropriately step in to protect someone.0
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thank you so much for being there.0
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I am so happy you stepped in. As a security guard I often get involved professionally after the creeps have followed them home and now the girls are afraid even to walk to class.
From a professional stand point, record the event on paper with times and dates and if you ever see that man again, report him. It's never too late to report this kind of thing. Hopefully those girls learn that it was more creepy than awesome.
So help me God if I ever saw a man grab a random girl like that.0 -
Goodness.
One thing I do note here is that the conversation they were having afterward should have remained about how it was creepy, because that's not at all awesome. I think a good reminder here is to teach our teens that although it could be considered 'flattering' in some sense, it was more creepy than awesome.0 -
Thank you for saving these girls!! I wish my parents had been that involved when I was in my early teens, would have saved me a lot of heartache.0
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i was gonna send you a link to the topic "did i overreact at the gym today" but it won't come up. unsure if that means it's deleted.
but here is this one
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/864976-father-brings-his-daughter-into-the-men-s-locker-room?hl=4+year+old+in+men's+locker&page=14#posts-13030644
clearly gym's need to rethink the amenities they provide and whether they are coed or not and age limits. the whole thing seems to be making people uncomfortable in many ways.0 -
We need to teach our girls that they don't need to be so nice and polite that they get themselves molested when they go out their front door. They don't have to put up with that kind of behavior in order to be polite. That guy was way out of line. Thanks for stepping in.0
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I would never allow my scantily dressed young teen daughter to sit in a steam room with strangers!0
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I would have told the dirty child molester to get the @#$% out of there. This is how these things start, those poor girls were just hanging out - look what could have happened? Good on you - but I would have been more aggressive toward him and told him he was a dirty pedophile.......................0
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Kudos to you for saying something!0
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Thanks for speaking up!0
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You know, I know you are trying to do the right thing here, and hindsight is 20/20... but there were lots of other things you should have done other than post this experience on the internet.
Personally, I would have laid his *kitten* out when he grabbed the girl by the wrist. I would have at least followed him out of there and made sure I brought him to the attention of security.
I hope, at the very least, that you reported the incident to management so that they could keep an eye out for anyone acting suspiciously. Odds are, he is there often.0 -
wow that is creepy0
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As somebody's daughter, and a mother of one, THANK YOU!
You did two things there. 1: Got a young impressionable girl away from a creep (biggest yay!) 2: Helped that girl learn that ditching your friends for a guy is NOT a grown up thing to do. I know 2 is completely besides the point, but I just felt that needed pointing out as well. This creep's desire to tell her, "being a grown up means talking to guys", completely negates the whole, "being a strong woman who has solid friendships" thing.
Back to #1 though. What you did there? Just awesome
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Thank you for standing up for them and helping her exit the situation when she should have. My daughter is only 6 but I get comments like "you're going to have to keep a gun around" and it bothers me because I think of situations like this.0
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It is a really messed up world out there.
My niece was raped from age 2 to 7 by the guy my sister paid to watch her.
My best friend's niece was raped and murdered, and left in the woods to rot (RIP Amanda Lankey)
One of my former co-workers is in prison... a repeat offender. He had three years worth of video tapes of him raping is granddaughter, from infancy to three years old.
This stuff has hit me so close to home, so many times, my daughter does not leave my sight unless she is with my mother or her day care lady (whom I have a very close relationship with- I know she's safe there). My father-in-law gives me crap about being over-protective... too freaking bad.0 -
Would NEVER let my girls in a mixed situation like this, to begin with.
And for a woman, (and especially a naiive girl), for a man to show interest in her is a TEMPTATION. Sorta parallel temptation as for a man to see/look at a woman.
In age-appropriate terms, I have already begun such topics with my girls. I want my girls to be able to interact with the opposite sex in an appropriate and respectful way, and to know when something is not right/okay.0 -
I applaud you sir for stepping in, my daughter is only 3 but I already worry about things like this and it does make me feel good that there are people that would step in from bottom feeders like this. I am not sure if I could have restrained myself to talk in your shoes though.....0
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good job for stepping up, and letting that creeper know you were on to him0
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I will say that you did a good job.
I will be leaving this thread now, because I know it's going to turn ugly.0
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