Why is everyone judged/ashamed of their lapband?

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Kwilliams75
Kwilliams75 Posts: 231 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I personally know that the lapband for me was the correct decision! Everything I read is about people not judging them for having lapband and I really don't understand why people have such a negative outlook on people who have had the procedure. It is meant to be a tool to help you change your lifestyle not to take a short cut to lose weight. People with the lapband have to watch what they eat and exercise to lose weight just like everyone else. The only difference is that we have help with the hunger and how fast we get full. Weight loss is a struggle for each and everyone of us so don't judge people for a tool to help them and for those that have the lapband be proud that you took the first step into a healthy lifestyle. I AM A PROUD LAPBANDER!!!
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Replies

  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
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    My neighbor had on across the street and she looks great. Shes still glad she got it.She had to go to classes and learn how to eat before she was able to have it done. So she had already lost 50 pounds before she had it and not o whole lot after
  • skygoddess86
    skygoddess86 Posts: 487 Member
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    I personally don't have an issue with it at all. I have thankfully never been heavy enough to need a tool like that but I would do it if I needed to.
  • mama22girlz
    mama22girlz Posts: 291
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    Good for you. :flowerforyou: I think that people can judge people too quickly these days. Honestly I think were all here to encourage each other in our common goal, to get heathy. Wether you eat all your exercise calories, or some, work out daily or try when you can, log each and everything you put in your mouth or let the little tastes and licks go, or have a lapband or not, really?? why put someone down or look poorly on them because they are not doing it the same way you are? I say motivate each other; celebrate the succsesses and pick each other up if we fall. And as your mother always said, if you can't say something nice, then shut your trap :wink:
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    I say motivate each other; celebrate the succsesses and pick each other up if we fall.
    :flowerforyou:
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    My neighbor had on across the street and she looks great. Shes still glad she got it.She had to go to classes and learn how to eat before she was able to have it done. So she had already lost 50 pounds before she had it and not o whole lot after
    I think it's great that classes are offered before hand on how to relearn how to eat (heck who doesn't need THAT, right?:drinker: ). I hadn't realized that was offered I can really see the importance of that for anyone of us!.:drinker: :wink:

    All the best to you,:flowerforyou:
    Becca:heart:
  • sparkles321
    sparkles321 Posts: 107
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    Alot of people hide procedures because alot of people DO view it as "giving up", "the easy way out", or even plainly "avoiding the responsibility". When my mother had gastic bypass, she didn't tell many people at all and asked us not to tell anyone either. I knew she eventually would tell more people, and she did, but she had to do it on her own time when she was better able to deal with the comments or the disappointed "oh" when asked what she was doing to lose the weight. I don't think people who hide it are ashamed. I think they're just not ready to deal with other people's opinions about it. Keeping in mind that many of us who are overweight have a major sensitivity in that area, it's easy to understand why someone wouldn't want to open up that easily injured spot for everyone to poke at.
  • BetterVersion
    BetterVersion Posts: 459
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    I'm two weeks post-op from getting my lapband. I let all of my closer family and friends know because, obviously, they're gonna find out about it at some point. However, I have NOT announced it to anyone on MFP (Surprise, Friends!) yet and I will not be telling random ppl about it in the future because I do feel like I'll be judged for "taking the easy way out." The truth is, I lost ninety pounds on my own in eight months before getting the lapband. I've done all the hard work myself. The ONLY reason I even went through with the surgery after losing so much is to assist me in maintaining a healthy weight in the future. But NO ONE understands that, and I've already been judged by SEVERAL of my close friends and family. But honestly, the real reason I won't be making a big deal out of it in the future is because all this hard work I've put into making a drastic change in myself will no longer count; most ppl will just automatically assume I'm lazy and have only lost any weight because I had surgery, and I'm sorry but that's just not fair to me. So, yea...
  • Tamishumate
    Tamishumate Posts: 1,171 Member
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    Can I say, without anyone judging or getting mad, that I get a little offended when people ask me if I had it done. ? I didn't, but I. Am always slightly taken aback when people ask me how I lost so much weight. Proper diet and tons of exercise is how, and proud of it. :).
  • sakitchens
    sakitchens Posts: 37 Member
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    I think that everyone makes there own choices and no one should condemn, ridicule or make fun of them. I think that it is great that you have found a positive way to help ensure your future weight loss. I do not think it matters how you loose the weight as long as you do. I myself have considered lap-band. My doctor however wants me to get my diabetes in check before we think about surgery. I am glad that people have shared and hopefully continue to share the stories that got them on the road to healthier new selves. I think that we are all insperations to someone else going through the same things we are.
  • msarro
    msarro Posts: 2,748 Member
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    I hope I don't upset anyone with this, but here's my opinion.

    I judge because its a shortcut, and usually outside of medical necessity. My reasoning? My cousin died, leaving behind 3 children to be taken care of by a disabled father (injured in a garage accident) - because she refused to get off her butt and walk once a day. She viewed it as a way to make things easier. You know, a tool. She started bleeding internally during the surgery, and they couldn't stop it. She would be alive today if she would have listened to her doctor and just eaten appropriately and gone for a walk. Her kids would still have a mom, and her husband would still have his wife. For what reason? To avoid eating healthy and exercising?

    See, people forget that its surgery. And it can kill you. Is the risk of death really worth taking a shortcut? Now I know there are certain people who have no choice (and thankfully some of the doctors who perform the procedure will require seeing proof that you are in that category), but 99% of the people who get these things done DO NOT fit in that group. Think about who you'd be leaving behind to grieve and consider whether or not the shortcut is worth it. If you think it is, then by all means go for it.

    You can call it a tool, call it a crutch, whatever. Unless its medically necessary its a shortcut.
  • beMyself
    beMyself Posts: 29
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    First of all, I think it is kind of obvious when someone gets it because they lose the weight really fast. Should we judge them? Not at all. I would like to get the surgery but first of all, I have never been cut into and I only need to lose 100lbs not 400...

    Although I am 100lbs + overweight, I do not have diabetes, high colesterol or high blood pressure. I have asthma though, but I don't have any of the major health issues (you guys know what I'm talking about) so they will not give the surgery to someone like me even though I am really overweight. Also I am 6'2" for my height so I carry the weight really well. This may be why I don't have any of the health problems a lot of people have when they are obese because I have athletic genes, who knows.

    The guy who said you should not have the surgery unless medically necessary is probably right. If it would save your life...I think that was the purpose of it...but nowdays you have everyone wanting the surgery

    Having struggled with my weight for so long I can't blame people for wanting the surgery because I understand it gets so damn frustrating dealing with being up and down with your weight your entire life.

    In the end it is a personal decision and it is a shame some people have to hide it.
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
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    Lap band is a choice and everyone needs to make the choice that is right for them. Although I would not do it myself I know a bypass patient and a lapband patient and I have to say the lapband patient is healthier looking and the bypass patient said if he had to do it over again he wouldn't have, even though he was diabetic because of the issues he has had since.

    When you make a choice to become a healthier person you should be proud of your choices. It isn't anyone's business to judge you when they haven't been in your shoes! Pat yourself on the back for making a choice that has made you a healthier individual! :drinker:
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
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    If someone has been properly screened and evaluated and makes a decision to have the procedure, no one has any business judging them--as long as they are following the eating protocol that is needed for the lap band to give results. Even then, not appropriate to judge the person.

    This post made me go on a hunt for a post I was in a few weeks ago where someone was trying to decide whether or not to get the lap band surgery. I am quoting part of it below. My comments did not "judge" those who had the surgery, but I did pass judgment on their behavior in general, and in regard to food, both of which to me were unacceptable, and did nothing to improve the outside world's opinion of people who have weight loss surgery:
    ....For myself, I found MFP a year ago, and made permanent changes in what I eat and my activity level. I lost 50 lbs. in about 7 1/2 months. I still need to lose more, but because of my new habits, I am maintaining for now, and now that a personal situation is over with, I am planning on getting back onto a losing streak again.

    Last year, I changed the department I worked in and my new supervisor appeared to be very health-conscious--always talking about working out, etc., and not to be judgmental, but the reason for her interest was obvious, as she was about 60 - 80 lbs. overweight.

    At first I was impressed with her focus, and shared information on foods I had found helpful, such as sandwich thins. Then came the team meetings. The first one I attended, she brought bagels and full fat cream cheese, and insisted everyone have one. I refused, and took some flack for it. Subsequently, there were muffins. There were potlucks at which she and another person, also overweight, always consumed food with great "enthusiasm."

    I continued to watch what I was doing and lose. By February, it was clear that the supervisor and this other guy had taken a dislike to me, and it wasn't until about a week before I left the company that I figured out what was going on. She, and the other guy, who also went out of his way to be unpleasant toward me, had BOTH had lap band surgery, and since their eating habits remain atrocious, neither of them have lost hardly any weight!!

    As I reviewed previous events, I realized her attitude toward me changed when she found out that I had lost more than twice what she had in less time and without surgery. (She just assumed I had surgery because I was losing.) In the last meeting I attended, which was a pot luck, both of them were making jokes about how they had to eat lots now because they were going to have their lap bands tightened in the next few days and wouldn't be able to indulge themselves.

    I have moved on and no longer work with these two, but they are examples of people who appear to me were not very well-screened prior to surgery, and it doesn't appear to me that either of them have derived much benefit from it...

    ....if you are unable to change and control your eating habits before you have surgery, it is more than likely that you will have the same problem after surgery.

    If that sounds harsh, it is not meant to offend anyone. ....Surgery can be very helpful. I know of someone on this website in my age group who has done fantastic since her surgery. I think she has lost about 130 lbs. in less than a year and a half, but she has made major changes in her eating habits, and she is into running and training to do a triathlon....
  • dj_stevie_c
    dj_stevie_c Posts: 270
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    As long as when the band is 'removed' the person doesn't go right back to what they were doing before, I've seen it happen, there was a big deal made of a girl over here in the UK who's done just that and as long as the person is doing it for the right reasons then I don't have a problem at all. And I wouldn't like to cast judgement, I'd like to ask a few questions about it :) but I certainly wouldn't judge someone, would I have it done? I don't think it's something that's available to me (I don't have the cash and it's not really available on the NHS for people like me, although I am big enough) I would rather do things through diet and excersize.

    It should never be used as a quick fix, it should only be used if the person has tried and failed other ways or if there are health problems the need to conquer. Anyone who loses weight, keeps it off and lives a healtheir lifestlye deserves congratulations, whether they did it through Atkins, Lapbands, plain diet and excersize or whatever, even lipo. That's what we are all here for after all.
  • SimonLondon
    SimonLondon Posts: 350
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    I don't think anyone has the right to judge. There are many medical and psychological reasons why people struggle to lose weight.

    I would call having this fitted as a last resort and not a quick fix. We all know people who have been on every diet conceivable and yet still have lost no weight. If you've spent most of life trying wouldn't you consider it?

    I have not had one but I can understand why people choose them. Yes there will be "some" that regard it as an easy option but I am certain the absolute overwhelming majority of people have spent their entire life trying and are so desperate they look at this as their last resort.

    I would never judge anyone for any method they choose to lose weight. People will have their own reasons for choosing how to lose the weight and we don't know the reasons behind the "why" so what gives us the right to judge?

    I will support anyone who is committed to losing weight no matter how they choose to achieve it!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    Though I've not had a weightloss surgery myself I did find this quote I thought fit well on many issues that come up on this board.

    "Understanding is the beginning of approving."
    Andre' Gide


    Becca:heart:
  • jerren
    jerren Posts: 196
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    I have type II diabetes, blood pressure and high cholestoral and tipped the scales at 320 at one point in my life. I refuse to get the lapband or gastric. My main reason for this is because I never felt I was so big that I couldn't exercise. And I also knew that I could change my eating habits on my own. Its been a struggle getting down to where I am now but I'm happy that I've gotten to where I am now.

    I don't judge those who got the lap band or gastric either. This is a decision they chose for themselves and will live with. I hope all goes well for them and we can all be fit and healthy together!
  • lisalynn35
    lisalynn35 Posts: 250 Member
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    I'm a proud LapBander too! I don't know why people are so judgmental nor do I care, I sure wasn't losing weight without it. I tell everyone willingly and proudly. There is no short cut involved; I still have to watch what I eat, I still have to exercise and if it is a choice between death by fat or improbable death by surgery well...

    My high blood pressure is gone, my arthritis is better, I'm learning how to eat well, and finally able to get off my *kitten* and exercise. I had hormonally based breast cancer twice and fat stores estrogen so having all this fat on me is like asking for my cancer to return. I spoke with a breast surgeon, oncologist, etc. prior to talking to the bariatric surgeon and they all said that the benefits far out weighed the risks.

    Don't judge us. We all have our demons and our own ways of getting healthy.
  • LilMissAngi
    LilMissAngi Posts: 127
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    I hope I don't upset anyone with this, but here's my opinion.

    I judge because its a shortcut, and usually outside of medical necessity. My reasoning? My cousin died, leaving behind 3 children to be taken care of by a disabled father (injured in a garage accident) - because she refused to get off her butt and walk once a day. She viewed it as a way to make things easier. You know, a tool. She started bleeding internally during the surgery, and they couldn't stop it. She would be alive today if she would have listened to her doctor and just eaten appropriately and gone for a walk. Her kids would still have a mom, and her husband would still have his wife. For what reason? To avoid eating healthy and exercising?


    Im sorry about your loss... your post really opened my eyes, my dad has diabetes... has lost 2 toes in the process and soon to be more if he doesn't eat right and get up to exercise.

    I don't know what his deal is.... he got another chance at life (kidney transplant) but still won't eat right or exercise.

    I refuse to turn into him and I was headed down that path, but Im turning around and going down this other path.
  • SassyMissDasha
    SassyMissDasha Posts: 614
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    I'm not ashamed of the lapband, I'm ashamed it didn't work for me ...
    ETA: I am making it work for me now, I realise now I do have the tool, and it's really not fair to my dad he payed for it to be done. He has since passed away .. and I gave up on myself .. but that's not an excuse anymore, I know he wants me to make it work. I am waiting to lose more wait, but I am going to go in and get my lapband tightened. That really struck a nerve with me .. because I used to be that person ..that said "Oh i'm going to get a fill soon, so I better binge and get as much of good food as I can in" .. I don't want to be that person. Yeah so that's about it! What makes me upset, is when people say "are you sure you are eating enough? I'm really worried about you" .. because they don't know. That's why I really didn't want to hide the fact that I had it. But people do understand.

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