WOMEN and cooking.

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  • turtlefitnessdad
    turtlefitnessdad Posts: 585 Member
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    I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
    There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.

    But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.

    Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.

    Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.
  • joe7880
    joe7880 Posts: 92 Member
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    So long as somebody is cooking then your ok. Most people today seem to just pick up some fast-food after work and feed that to their families almost every night. Obviously thats a big problem in society today.

    As for me, my wife and I both cook, but she likes to take charge in the kitchen more often than not, and I'm fine with that.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.

    this is why i'm not having kids, i like my car, boat and too big house!!!!!!
  • and thirdly i dont believe its the mans duty to look after the family in that aspect . just my opinion

    tumblr_mihujdtB7B1rk8jx0o1_500.gif

    "The Man's Duty", oh god.

    tumblr_meqflt5s6q1rqlnw2o4_250_zpsa63e0f39.gif

    I'm not married so I don't ~have a man~ but I do most of the cooking for me and my roommate and I hate it. I constantly get upset that she doesn't help me at all. If I do even get married (which I don't want to) or if I end up living with a dude, he'd better help out or that relationship will not last because I will get grumpy and be mean all the time.

    Also, isn't it funny that cooking is traditionally "The Woman's Duty", but most professional chefs are men? Hm...
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    i also dont like it being called "traditional" its OLD SCHOOL LOVE


    Agree!!!
  • lioness803
    lioness803 Posts: 325 Member
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    I cook most of the time because I like to, but my husband will cook on the days I work and he doesn't, or we'll cook together. He makes amazing chili, so he makes that every couple weeks
  • jaebennetti
    jaebennetti Posts: 44 Member
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    I cook mostly unless I get busy at work then he takes over.
  • jsimler1
    jsimler1 Posts: 168 Member
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    I cook every night for my fiance...I don't see a problem with it. I'd stay at home, make the babies, do the laundry, cook and clean, and have fresh baked pies waiting if I could lol...

    I like having the option to not be in the "women" role and have a career, etc. but my choice would to be a housewife...to each their own :drinker:
  • I like having the option to not be in the "women" role and have a career, etc. but my choice would to be a housewife...to each their own :drinker:

    The important thing is that it is your choice and you're not just doing it because that's what's expected! Making choices = good!
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
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    I like having the option to not be in the "women" role and have a career, etc. but my choice would to be a housewife...to each their own :drinker:

    The important thing is that it is your choice and you're not just doing it because that's what's expected! Making choices = good!
    in that case teach women how to choose :P
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
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    I'm single right now, but when I am with a man I do all the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy catering to and caring for them. Old fashioned I know, but it is what it is and how I was raised.
    i want to know the 2013 mentality, do women still do this for their men?

    I have been dating recently. A lot. And I guess for the last 4 years, I will say that the answer is NOT much. lol. I know I am being very general but this is my experience and I can only talk about the things I find over and over. I noticed that most single women I meet don't cook at all. Don't know how they survive. I cook a lot so it has never been a problem. I also clean. I was raised by a military father so yeah no mess in my house.

    Anyway, I don't know what has happened in the last 10 years but I find that men are doing most of the cooking nowadays. I asked my married friends if their wives cook and the answer is always: "HELL NO." I remember dating this girl a few years ago and coming over to say hi around dinner. She was eating some peanuts and I asked if she was gonna have dinner. She looked at me and said that was dinner. I said, cool and left.

    I remember growing up and loving my Mom's food. That is gone for this generation. I find that most men and women don't bother to learn the cooking and those traditions are lost. If I ever have kids, I know my kids are not going to say: "I love my mom's cooking...." Different times I suppose.

    Now, I am sure this is not always the case, but that has been my experience for the last 4-5 years. When I really want a girl to cook for me(it is nice when someone does it for you every now and then), I can always count on some of my Spanish girl friends. Most of them cook.
  • Willowana
    Willowana Posts: 493 Member
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    In 2013,people do what works for them. My ex would never be the bread winner of the family. I make far more money than he did. I love to cook, but he had a few recipes until his belt he could whip up, so he cooked some nights. But, he was an absolute slob, and that royally ticked me off. I worked as hard as he did at my job, came home and cooked, and his lazy *kitten* would just sit in front of the tube and make a mess around himself. Clean up your *kitten*! I'm not your mommy.

    Finally dumped his lazy *kitten*. My house looks better for it, and I couldn't be happier. I think men have an unrealistic expectation of women. It used to be that women did all the dometic work, and men were out there working or hunting bears.

    Now that women work, men STILL expect every aspect of life to be handled by a woman. We cook, clean, work at our professions, and raise the children, be the bread winners....no thank you. If a man can't "be a man" by being a responsible adult in my house, there's no way in hell I'm going to be both a wife and mommy to him.
  • k_winder
    k_winder Posts: 65 Member
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    Sometimes.

    My husband has a gluten intolerance and a dairy allergy. We have both agreed I should not have to give up gluten and dairy. So.....sometimes I cook things we can both eat. Sometimes we make our own meals. (And usually when he cooks I don't eat it - it's yummy food, but he reverts to a lot of staples like rice and sweet potatoes, which are high in carbs....and I'm type 1 diabetic so I try to limit carbs somewhat).
  • I like having the option to not be in the "women" role and have a career, etc. but my choice would to be a housewife...to each their own :drinker:

    The important thing is that it is your choice and you're not just doing it because that's what's expected! Making choices = good!
    in that case teach women how to choose :P

    eun6so.gif

    I... don't even know how to respond to such blatant sexism.
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
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    I'm single right now, but when I am with a man I do all the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy catering to and caring for them. Old fashioned I know, but it is what it is and how I was raised.
    i want to know the 2013 mentality, do women still do this for their men?

    I have been dating recently. A lot. And I guess for the last 4 years, I will say that the answer is NOT much. lol. I know I am being very general but this is my experience and I can only talk about the things I find over and over. I noticed that most single women I meet don't cook at all. Don't know how they survive. I cook a lot so it has never been a problem. I also clean. I was raised by a military father so yeah no mess in my house.

    Anyway, I don't know what has happened in the last 10 years but I find that men are doing most of the cooking nowadays. I asked my married friends if their wives cook and the answer is always: "HELL NO." I remember dating this girl a few years ago and coming over to say hi around dinner. She was eating some peanuts and I asked if she was gonna have dinner. She looked at me and said that was dinner. I said, cool and left.

    I remember growing up and loving my Mom's food. That is gone for this generation. I find that most men and women don't bother to learn the cooking and those traditions are lost. If I ever have kids, I know my kids are not going to say: "I love my mom's cooking...." Different times I suppose.
    TRUTH be told finally , women dont give a shyt anymore (our generation) , its ALL about the man spoiling the woman. Women just want want want and think they can give us sex and we satisfied? not me , the reason u in a relationships is because u care and love one another . SHOW IT .

    well said
  • vicky1804
    vicky1804 Posts: 320 Member
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    I do 99% of the cooking in our house.
    My hubby has very basic skills that means id get pasta or something can can be shoved in the oven.
  • jsiricos
    jsiricos Posts: 338 Member
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    My ex liked to cook - but it all tasted the same, a Garlic version of whatever

    His workmates prefered when I cooked :)
  • Pookylou
    Pookylou Posts: 988 Member
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    I cook every night for my fiance...I don't see a problem with it. I'd stay at home, make the babies, do the laundry, cook and clean, and have fresh baked pies waiting if I could lol...

    I like having the option to not be in the "women" role and have a career, etc. but my choice would to be a housewife...to each their own :drinker:

    In an ideal world I want to be a 1950s housewife (without the kids) and spend my day cooking, making house and knitting. Will never happen mind you!

    Me and my boyfriend live separately at the mo, but share cooking when we're at each others houses, he cooks for me quite a lot. I'd expect a sharing when we live together too!!
  • castadiva
    castadiva Posts: 2,016 Member
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    I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
    There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.

    But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.

    Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.

    Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.

    Right or wrong, there are many places, and many couples, where this is simply not feasible - both incomes are needed just to get by, to pay for necessities, rather than the luxuries you decry.

    Also, what about situations where both partners have careers they enjoy, and have worked hard to achieve? By your logic, one of them should give up that part of themselves to be at home with the children (assuming they have any). As someone raised by two loving, working parents, with the assistance of various nannies etc over the years, I can informedly say that it is far better for children to have two happy, fulfilled parents, working at careers they enjoy and which contribute to their identity, and the energy and interest of other adults who enjoy spending time with children, than to be cared for by someone who is miserable, bored and resentful of the sacrifice (of their career, their time, their energy, their ambitions) made to fulfill an 'ideal' of a home-making parent - which is not to suggest that all homemaking parents feel this way, but rather that many career-oriented adults would feel that way should they feel compelled to stay at home because of an ideal, rather than a vocation.
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
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    I cooked for my (now ex) bf until he complained that it was too healthy & he didn't want to eat this way, that he wasn't used to it, etc.

    Then I let him fend for himself. Since every week, I'd ask him what he'd want so I wouldn't bored him with the same meals (I can do repeat meals easily - I don't get sick of it lol). Never gave me ideas/suggestions.