WOMEN and cooking.
Options
Replies
-
Every relationship is different. The thing that makes my relationship with my wife work so well is that there are things she likes to do, things i like and things we both hate to do. I like to cook and she is a neat freak. The rest of the stuff that we both hate doing turns into a rock paper scissor battle. last week i lost the best out of three battle on who has to clean up dog poo once the snow melts. I take care of her just as much as she takes care of me. BTW she can cook but only if no oven or heating of the food is involved. She makes great salads (cause you cant burn it)...haha!0
-
Another "look at me I'm single thread"
:yawn:
Yep, and with that attitude, I imagine he will remain single for quite some time!0 -
My point was directed toward those that choose to live lavishly, not the couples in situations that require double incomes or in single parent homes.
That being said a couple that chooses to love their vocation more than their children should not have had children. There is no other way to say it. If an individual needs to work to feel a sense of self-worth then they are not putting their children first. In the example you gave of your own childhood i would point out to you that your parents should have been the ones giving you the love and affection that you received from a caretaker. Of course there are situations where this may be the best option considering the circumstances but it should not be what a couple actually tries to do. It sounds shameful to think that a parent would send their child to be essentially raised by someone else just so they can live a life that is self-centered and/or materially focused instead of understanding the value and self-worth that could come from being a good parent.
Wow. Just Wow... You make an awful lot of assumptions about other people's lives, don't you. Firstly, my parents, in particular my mother, who had the more high-profile job, gave us both plenty of love, care and affection. In fact, we almost certainly had a better mother because she was happy and fulfilled, mentally stimulated by her work, and therefore more, not less, able to provide us with stimulating, energised and fun times spent together. Yes, she needed her work - why on earth would she, needlessly, have given up the product of a couple of decades' striving? That did not in any way make her a less-good mother. In fact, my sister and I both have a much better relationship with her than many of my freinds have with their mothers, stay-at-home or working. Perhaps because she had an identity that we recognised, apart from being 'Mummy', both sides of the equation were more inclined to treat each other as interesting individuals, worthy of respect, as well as someone to be loved unconditionally and tickled mercilessly.
Many of my school friends hugely envied me my parents - there were superb costumes, brilliant birthday cakes, silly games and family rituals, educated and informative homework help, free-ranging discussion and someone was always available, and willing to drop everything, for us in a crisis. I cannot think of a single instance in which a real crisis was handled by a nanny. Though the many wonderful women who looked after us at various points certainly provided affectionate care and support, they never, in a million years, would have dreamed of trying to supplant our parents in that regard.
Neither myself nor my sister ever felt that we came second to work for either parent, and can now appreciate, through the eyes of adulthood, how much value we got from the various influences of other adults in our lives - my sister's eye for art comes from one nanny, my profession was heavily-influenced by another, and we both enjoy a range of activities that our parents may or may not have introduced us to - things that were outside their own interests, or abilities, for example. The way we lived was good for us, and good for our parents. To say that couples who both maintain their adult, autonomous life outside the home should not have children is absurd.
The point is that it is about individual families, individual people. What works for one will never work for another. No family is a cardboard cut-out - you cannot machine-replicate families and put them in little boxes. Instead, try to appreciate that every family is made up of different personalities, different structures, and it is these very differences that can make them strong, as well as weaker.0 -
I cook.
His cooking sucks.
So unless I'm in the mood for leathery, over-dead meats, its all me.0 -
my man works all day. I do not. It makes sense that I do the cooking as I m home all day to shop for and prepare food.
My boys make meals sometimes, too.
I do not cook big meals daily. 3-4 times a week I cook dinner, the other days is more of a "Get Your Own Dinner" thing... or Something super easy like i will make a big bowl of pasta for everyone and they get whatever they want to eat along with it.
My husband makes dinner sometimes. not often.0 -
My dear, sexy, beautiful, hardworking wife continually tells me that I won/win her with my cooking. I have been the chef in our home for 33+ years. Download a book...take some free online cooking classes. This is not about gender or manhood..it's about serving the one you love.
Stop whining and bashing...much better ways to spend your energy.0 -
Wow! I have missed a lot of excitement. Forget the coffee, this will keep me awake just fine.0
-
i want to know the 2013 mentality, do women still do this for their men?
I'm not married, no kids, full time job, etc; but I love to cook for my boyfriend. However, it's something I decide on my own to do, because I want to do it, and because he likes what I fix, not because it's expected or required of me. And yes, I do make things that I know he loves, that I don't especially love (nothing I hate though).
In turn, he periodically cooks for me, and while it's delicious, it's usually lacking in fruits and veggies.0 -
I do the majority of the cooking because I enjoy it and because this way I can sneak vegetables into his diet that would otherwise consist on meat, meat, and roast potatoes wrapped in meat.
I do the majority of the cleaning because my idea of clean is different to his (can't complain - its free exercise) To me dust is EVILS and MUST BE DESTROYED - to him its something to write his name in.
I do all the washing of clothes and ironing because I don't want to think that my delicate underwear has been trashed around with his overals ... and it amazes me that his attempts to iron shirts haven't burnt the house down.
I do the majority of the shopping because as the person whose in the kitchen the most I can remember what is and isn't in the freezer / cupboard.
I sew his buttons on his shirts and repair his trousers when he's ripped the knee.
I make him tea in bed every morning before work
I tend to the garden and prevent it from becoming a patch of over grown weeds seeded with the occasional car part that he thinks I don't know he's brought for his latest project.
I do the majority of my own vehicle servicing including rebuilding a six wheel drive fire engine because being practical saves me no end of money on garage bills.
I do not
- Lift anything heavy
- Mow the lawn
- Vacuum
- Repair anything even slightly electronic
- Wash my car either inside of out unless I've had a spot of rallying and need to pressure wash it at Tescos to try and find out what colour it should be
- Advanced mechanical repairs
- BBQ
- Make tea at the weekend0 -
no, no no I am saying when both parents choose to work instead of raising there own kids. Pawning them off only so they can maintain a higher level of a lifestyle then they need to.
And if it's not about lifestyle, since you seem to think that a nice house, car, boat are the sources of bad parenting? If it's about two wonderful individuals and parents, both of whom enjoy and are fulfilled by their work? Whose working lives make them happier, better parents, either of whom would be miserable as a full-time home-maker/child-carer? That may result in a lifestyle you disapprove of, but also in parents who are happy, involved, and cherish time spent with their kids...I hardly think that's a bad thing.
To come back to the point of the thread (sorry!), a man who can cook well is a very sexy man. I enjoy cooking, as it happens, but watching a competent man, sleeves rolled up in the kitchen, creating something delicious for us to share, is a source of great joy to me.0 -
i want to know the 2013 mentality, do women still do this for their men?I'm single right now, but when I am with a man I do all the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy catering to and caring for them. Old fashioned I know, but it is what it is and how I was raised.
Yes. I still do this. I don't do it because I feel I have to. I do it because I want to. I'm not with some repressive weirdo. My husband would love me all the same if I didn't. With that said, this works for us. He works and brings home the money and I make sure the house stays clean and his meals are prepared and brought to him. He is very pampered but on the flip side, I am pampered in a different way since he affords me the ability to stay home
. It's a mutual agreement and we like it. 0 -
my husband irons his own shirts. I only iron fabric when I am sewing.0
-
My boyfriend cooks for me. Not because I don't want to but because he really likes to cook. If he is busy doing work or something though I will make dinner for us. I would prefer to do the cooking though because I clean as I cook and he definitely does not1 It's always a mess.0
-
i luv cooking 4 my man! When he compliment a new recipe,i am on cloud 9.. Taking care of him,fullfill me..0
-
We cook together and for each other. Usually I cook more because I'm better at it and don't want to eat burnt food, and he cleans. This isn't the 1950s.0
-
He cooks a couple times a week. When he cooks, I often help (chopping, prepping ingredients, etc). I cook the most though, and I cook the more complicated dishes with the least amount of help. We're both generally good cooks. We enjoy cooking something nice for the other, especially when one has had a long day at work. While sometimes cooking feels like a chore for each of us, I often truly enjoy cooking--as does he. We plan out the menu for the week together so we tend to have a good idea of who is cooking what (as well as which days are leftovers/fend for yourself).
I also clean the most (especially dishes), but he cleans as well. It freaked him out when I would first do his laundry, but often I had a small load and so I just grab a few of his things to toss in with mine. Once he got accustomed to that, sometimes I do a whole load for him. It still gives him a double take because he's been doing his own laundry sense he was a little kid, but he doesn't get upset about it anymore. He just smiles and then helps fold it. I do most of the household cleaning, including the bathrooms, but he does other chores (like taking out the trash, changing light bulbs, etc) on his own or by request (aka, Honey, will you move the chairs so I can vacuum?) I generally don't mind. I like being "domestic" on occasion and he always treats me so sweetly afterward that it just works for us.
I even sew a bit. It's amazing how grateful a man can be when you fix the button that fell off his favorite shirt. I'm also becoming more like my mother in that I buy most of his clothes as well. He'd wear things till the holes were embarrassing if I didn't. Often this means I buy a number of items and bring them home. He tries them on and then I return what he doesn't like or what doesn't fit well enough. When we were dating and I first did this, he paid me back for the items he kept (obviously). Now it just comes out of our combined "bucket" so it's even easier for me to do it. The end result is that he is better dressed and that he wears only things we both like.
He makes more money than I do too (about double actually), but what I bring home is nothing to scoff at. He manages the overarching finances but keeps me informed as to what they look like (and which bills he just paid or should be arriving soon) and then we both work to try to improve on things (they're already pretty good, but tweaks can always save money). We each have a set amount of "personal" money to spend on whatever we please no questions asked, so it's not like he has full control of the cash in the house. I like that I don't have to worry about things generally. When we started to draw up the overarching budget I actually told him to do whatever he felt was best, so it was him that set the personal allowance levels. Honestly, his personal cash allowance is higher than mine by a tad, but then again he eats lunch out with the guys whereas I pack my lunch from home, so while his lunch comes out of his personal allowance, mine comes out of the grocery fund. So in the end, the "spend on whatever" cash is pretty equal in the end, even if on paper his is higher than mine. It doesn't bother me any.
For bigger purchases or for things for the house, we talk about them first and buy them together. I feel I have more control over what we ultimately get, but that he has more control over the cost we're willing to pay. Sometimes he gets sticker shock in the process, but that's mostly because we're looking for things we've never looked for before (first home, so we need things we didn't need before, plus we want higher quality than cheap college kid stuff now). Usually, I will price out some examples at the high and low ends of the range and some reasons why they are/aren't better/worse and then let him know which one I prefer (typically something in the middle) and why. He'll think on it for a bit and often review the range of quality and features that we'd get for the price, as compared to something higher or lower on the scale. Then we end up getting what I preferred or something very close to it (sometimes he goes for the upgrades, but he rarely downgrades from what I prefer). It feels like a reasonable compromise to me and I know he appreciates the thought I put into picking what I prefer when I tell him about it. I certainly feel like I have an equal say in the process.
I probably do more of the yard work right now, but that will change to even out once the grass starts growing in because he'll likely do the mowing and edging. Right now, I enjoy getting my hands dirty and working out what we want to do with the yard (our first home). I'm pretty much in demolition mode right now and he is letting me have at it pretty much as I please. I really want a nice herb and vegetable garden. We both want to add a patio (that'll be a big project).
On the other handy, hubby takes care of anything that requires a plunger in the bathroom or the purchase and set up of an electronic device. As for the plunger--ew--he's better at it and I hate that sort of thing, so no complaints from me. As for electronics, I can use them just fine and can follow directions to set them up, but he tends to do most of that. He has more interest in it and he can do it better and faster than I can anyway. He also has a much better idea of when quality does and doesn't matter with an electronic device than I do.
We're more traditional about the division of labor than some of his colleagues. Apparently many of their better halves don't cook and clean like I do, even though I also work more than some of their SO's do (some SOs are students, others are unemployed). That I would work, cook and clean seems a bit amazing to them and a few seem to envy the arrangement slightly (I'm told). It makes me proud to know that my domestic side gives my husband something extra we can both be proud of. My efforts are well rewarded so to me it's fair. Not only do we have a strong loving relationship but our home is much nicer than some of his colleagues' homes. For them, their homes aren't as nice, or as clean and they "waste" a lot of money eating out because neither partner cooks. I'm not saying that to brag, but rather to show that I make a difference (and hubby is grateful for that difference). My role is important to our standard of living. Without me, we wouldn't have as nice of things as we do and they wouldn't be in as good of condition as they are. When we have his friends over, I take pride when hubby lets me know he thinks I've been a good host (AND I have fun doing it too).
Both of my parents worked full time and mom did most of the cooking and probably more of the cleaning. Dad helped out a lot though too and they have a strong marriage still. It wasn't uncommon for Dad to cook, clean or get me ready for school/church. (Oddly enough, Dad could braid my long hair much better than my mom when I was a kid. ) I guess to me, that's just normal division of labor for a family. Hubby's mom worked part time and they had a maid help with cleaning, so it's a somewhat new para-dime for him for the wife to do as much as I do. Plus there were more strong feminists in his life as a child. (Whereas my family was more traditional but still women were clearly strong and well respected. I think this is because his family were from the big city and mine were from farm country.) He says we can get a maid if we want one, but right now I can't justify that sort of cost so I'm plenty willing to take it on most of the time. I'd rather save the money to spend on other things... like books and vacations.
I'm probably the more handy of the two of us. I grew up helping my dad a lot so I can use power tools, change a tire, and drive stick shift. Hubby is only just learning power tools and some other "manly" skills. Hubby's dad was more likely to pay someone to fix things, so my dad has taken to teaching my husband some tricks of home-care whenever he comes to visit us.Even though sometimes I wish it was me helping my dad during these lessons, the fact is that I already know how, so I'm glad they get along well enough for the visits and glad hubby is a good sport about learning and doing new things. :laugh:
To me, there is nothing anti-feminist about a bit of tradition, so long as there is respect. When you dance with a partner, only one of you can lead at a time, but both dancers are equally important.0 -
I cook for myself nearly every day. I'm usually home first and I generally let my bf know what i'm making and ask him if he wants to join me. About once or twice a week he does, the other nights he cooks for himself. I'm a veggie and carefully count calories, he's not and is more free with his diet.
When he cooks he offers the same. We're both good cooks, we just have different preferences.0 -
Mother-in-law lives with us, does the majority of cooking.
Next on the list, eating out
Third, me cooking
Last resort, my wife cooks0 -
Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.
this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.
My god who died and gave you the all-knowing recipe to a healthy and happy family with well-adjusted children? I honestly can't tell if you are trolling or not, because that is how ludicrous your blatant statements come across. You are in no position to judge the decisions of other families. I'm sure everyone on here can name messed-up friends who come from conventional one bread-winner families while in the same breath recalling the class president in high school who was raised by a single mom.
Stereotyping what is best as a lifestyle is one of the biggest issues I have with people. I mean, your profile says that you work the night shift-- I could easily comment on how that negatively affects your health and circadian rhythms along with your family's lifestyle....so maybe you shouldn't have made the choice to have children if you work nights?
But of course, I literally don't give a s*** about your lifestyle and family choices because it is not my life and different ways work for different people. When I graduate from medical school I will have a very hectic career and will not be staying home to "properly raise" the children that I hope to have. That is a choice I have made and my future partner and I will have to create a lifestyle that works cohesively to accomodate all preferences and puts everyone's best interests on the forefront.0 -
I do 99% of the cooking in my house. my husband is also an excellent cook and he likes to cook..I LOVE to cook but i'm always the one who has to clean up too and that part sucks LOL0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 393 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 935 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions