Mixed weight Couples: what are your thoughts?

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Replies

  • DrCaspianDoll
    DrCaspianDoll Posts: 87 Member
    I'm five foot tall I've fluctuated between sizes 2, 4 (even 6 at a sad sad time ahhh) Every man I have ever dated is 6 foot tall and over had a 6 pack, but one of my ex's gained weight (college football player with a foot injury=bad news) I still loved him at the time, but now once I am out of love with him, I couldn't give him a chance to be honest. It takes more than a hot bod to keep my attention but definitely need a hot bod to grasp it initially.
  • AmberB519
    AmberB519 Posts: 336 Member
    Never even crossed my mind as something that should be thought about...
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    My fiance weighs more than me. He's also eight inches taller than me.
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
    I had one ex, who was not only overweight (I was overweight as well) he smoked, was very sedentary and older than me. I used to worry that he would die years before me and I would be alone.
  • SemperAnticus1643
    SemperAnticus1643 Posts: 703 Member
    Most of the "martini couples" (you know, toothpick and olive visual) I know have been together for a while.

    I prefer my men to be a little "huskier". Whether it's due to lifting or good eating, I like my men to be broader than me, must be the sense of safety when I am with them.
  • RobfromLakewood
    RobfromLakewood Posts: 684
    When my wife and I met, we were both leaner than we became. She started eating like me and I worked out like her (as in not at all). I got fed up this last summer and went back to working out, after the first month, she joined me. I eat more like her, she works out more like me. We've lost a combined 90 pounds. I think mixed-weights would work for us, but mixed lifestyles are harder to balance for us.
  • blondemom1979
    blondemom1979 Posts: 64 Member
    I had one ex, who was not only overweight (I was overweight as well) he smoked, was very sedentary and older than me. I used to worry that he would die years before me and I would be alone.

    I can understand that, I worry about my husbands bad eating habits (6-9 pepsi's a day and no water at all) even tho he is much thinner than me, he's one of those damn people with amazing metabolism!. I would hate worrying about my partners weight, and smoking etc. because of the history of cancer in both of our families etc. I hope he doesn't worry about my weight being a health issue....something to concider, good point!
  • AngryDiet
    AngryDiet Posts: 1,349 Member
    I had one ex, who was not only overweight (I was overweight as well) he smoked, was very sedentary and older than me. I used to worry that he would die years before me and I would be alone.

    I can understand that, I worry about my husbands bad eating habits (6-9 pepsi's a day and no water at all) even tho he is much thinner than me, he's one of those damn people with amazing metabolism!. I would hate worrying about my partners weight, and smoking etc. because of the history of cancer in both of our families etc. I hope he doesn't worry about my weight being a health issue....something to concider, good point!

    Pepsi is mostly water.
  • ShannonGo
    ShannonGo Posts: 60
    Seriously flawed study is seriously flawed. We should talk about this again when the sample size is over 1,000.

    My husband's definition of being overweight is NOT having a six pack. He had his body fat analyzed (pinch test) and came out "average" for a guy his age. Now? He's on my diet plan because its unacceptable to be average when you're my super husband. *SIGH* and he's lost 6lbs in less than a month. Part of me was like, "no, we can't share diet plans. Not yours, you can't have." But that's a douchey thing to do, so I don't say that. I thought it hard though and if he would just get around to reading my mind, he'd have known how I felt about this.

    He's supremely supportive of my efforts to lose weight, we do lots of active things together and he's now kind of understanding where I am coming from when I say its hard to stay focused on the diet I'm on. Someday, I'd love to weight less than he does, but he keeps insisting his ideal weight is obscenely low, which I don't think I could ever beat without being skeletal. He loves me anyway, I love him too. My weight is not a source of conflict, and despite jokes about him reading my mind, I don't blame him for being who he is!
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    20 years so far, and we don't have conflicts. I think we're doing fine (I'm very obese, and he's tall and lanky). My parents have been together for 42 years and get along really well still (she's small, he's very obese).

    Like has been mentioned, studies with small sample sizes are not generally reliable.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    It's funny, because in my 2 relationships I have been both the fatter and the thinner member of the couple. With my ex (who is over 400 pounds), I was the one trying to gently get her to eat healthier and be more active. Not because I didn't find her attractive, but simply for health reasons. My boyfriend is ~170, so now I'm the fatty, and he doesn't seem to care. He calls me sexy all the time :3 the only thing that's gotten a little annoying recently is, whenever I say I want ice cream or fast food: "Don't throw your diet!" *grumbles*

    But really, he's a sweetheart, and has been very supportive of me the past few months as I've become more serious about exercising and watching what I eat. I think the reason mixed-weight couples don't work is because it boils down to one person being shallow :P if you truly love someone you will love them regardless of their size!
  • twanthe1
    twanthe1 Posts: 407
    Like race it shouldn't be an issue - imo you can't love someone for their looks.
  • icyeyes317
    icyeyes317 Posts: 226 Member
    I love my husband through thick and thin, and he loves me the same way.
  • Saaaam42
    Saaaam42 Posts: 154 Member
    <
    chubby chaser
  • xDawnsgrace
    xDawnsgrace Posts: 436
    My boyfriend is the same weight as me, but almost a foot taller.(he's def. skinnier). He thinks i'm sexy, i think he's sexy. It works out. We love the other for who they are.
  • CuddlyIrish
    CuddlyIrish Posts: 149
    This is honestly something Ive never even thought about. Good people love good people.

    Can I say though that if it came down to it that the majority of men would go for the tall, thin, big boobed type as apposed to the plus size pretty girl who has an awesome personality. Way it is, way it always will be in my opinion.
  • kgilbert75
    kgilbert75 Posts: 70 Member
    I had always been 50-70 pounds heavier than my husband. I am now 10-15 pounds lighter than he is. I can now run and jump into his arms, and side-by-side we look really good together. It's wonderful to now be his "little lady" but I would love him regardless of his weight as he has always loved me regardless of mine. His sense of humor, his personality, his wonderful fathering skills, and how he helped me deal with the death of my parents will always make him the best man in the world to me, regardless of how he looks! Lucky for me he's hot no matter what!
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    At my starting weight, I was more than 100 pounds heavier than my husband.
  • angellepen
    angellepen Posts: 24
    I don't really have an opinion or care about it. If your happy then so be it! :)
  • lilmissbamaqueen
    lilmissbamaqueen Posts: 184
    This is honestly something Ive never even thought about. Good people love good people.

    This!! Nice to hear it coming from a guy. :flowerforyou:
  • kwilliams386
    kwilliams386 Posts: 156 Member
    My ex was 350lbs and I was 115. I didn't care. I thought he was sexy. He was theone who was insecure about his weight. I only got pissed and brok eup with him when for 7 weeks straight he chose food and Glee over sex.. Big, thin, buff, fluffy, I dont care, but I don't give up sex!!
  • AmberB519
    AmberB519 Posts: 336 Member
    My ex was 350lbs and I was 115. I didn't care. I thought he was sexy. He was theone who was insecure about his weight. I only got pissed and brok eup with him when for 7 weeks straight he chose food and Glee over sex.. Big, thin, buff, fluffy, I dont care, but I don't give up sex!!

    Word!
  • LMT2012
    LMT2012 Posts: 697 Member
    The only problem I see is that there could, over time, be a big difference in health and energy levels. Attractiveness to yourpartner is only one aspect of perceived overweight.
  • mpschultzMTV
    mpschultzMTV Posts: 1
    I work in casting for MTV True Life and we are currently in the process of finding talent for our new episode - True Life I'm in a Mixed Weight Relationship. I am going to post the casting call below in this reply in case you fit the criteria/are interested. If not perhaps you might know a friend or blog reader who might be interested in being on TV and sharing their story. Thank you for your time!

    TRUE LIFE: I'M IN A MIXED-WEIGHT RELATIONSHIP
    Is weight the number one problem in your relationship? Do your partner's snide comments and judgmental looks turn every meal into an argument? Do you feel guilty when your partner goes to the gym because you'd rather just sit on the couch? Do you dread going out in public because you're afraid people will wonder why you're not with someone your own size? Do you even eat in secret to avoid being judged? Are you afraid that if you don't lose those extra pounds you might lose the one you love? Or... Are you physically fit and the attention you receive is causing jealousy? Is your mate growing mentally and romantically distant because they're uncomfortable in their body? Do you feel like the only option to save your relationship is to give an ultimatum to your loved one to lose weight? If you appear to be between the ages of 16 and 28 and you're ready to tackle the relationship issues caused by your weight differences, MTV wants to hear your story! Write to us at mixedweight@gmail.com and give us your name, location, phone number, picture, and a description of your situation and what you plan to do about it.

    Best,
    Mike
  • TheBitSlinger
    TheBitSlinger Posts: 621 Member
    I work in casting for MTV True Life and we are currently in the process of finding talent for our new episode - True Life I'm in a Mixed Weight Relationship. I am going to post the casting call below in this reply in case you fit the criteria/are interested. If not perhaps you might know a friend or blog reader who might be interested in being on TV and sharing their story. Thank you for your time!

    TRUE LIFE: I'M IN A MIXED-WEIGHT RELATIONSHIP
    Is weight the number one problem in your relationship? Do your partner's snide comments and judgmental looks turn every meal into an argument? Do you feel guilty when your partner goes to the gym because you'd rather just sit on the couch? Do you dread going out in public because you're afraid people will wonder why you're not with someone your own size? Do you even eat in secret to avoid being judged? Are you afraid that if you don't lose those extra pounds you might lose the one you love? Or... Are you physically fit and the attention you receive is causing jealousy? Is your mate growing mentally and romantically distant because they're uncomfortable in their body? Do you feel like the only option to save your relationship is to give an ultimatum to your loved one to lose weight? If you appear to be between the ages of 16 and 28 and you're ready to tackle the relationship issues caused by your weight differences, MTV wants to hear your story! Write to us at mixedweight@gmail.com and give us your name, location, phone number, picture, and a description of your situation and what you plan to do about it.

    Best,
    Mike

    Is he serious?
  • rshcraig
    rshcraig Posts: 53
    My husband and I started dating almost 11 years ago and have been married close to 9 now. When we first met, I was in a 15/16 juniors pants size, he had to wear a belt to hold up his size 30 jeans. Now, I'm in a size 26 going on 24 and my husband is a solid 38... we've both gained a lot together and now we are both working on going backwards. But we love each other, thick or thin through thick and thin and thats that. The only time weight has been a problem is when my hormone issues have cause bedroom issues, but I've always been one to believe that even when *your* not in the mood, your partners needs have to be met and so it was never a huge deal. I think some people are attracted to certain aspects, and my hubby is definitely a chubby chaser anyway, but when it comes down to it, physical attraction isn't the only attraction, just the first one.
  • Mrs_Goatess
    Mrs_Goatess Posts: 15 Member
    Our only problem is that since we both started using mfp, we realized that I need to eat only *half* the amount of calories he does. Meal planning gets a bit weird, but we're managing well so far. :)
  • JenCatwalk
    JenCatwalk Posts: 285 Member
    This is honestly something Ive never even thought about. Good people love good people.

    Really. I'm 125 lbs. my hubby is... a little more up there. He's trying to lose the fat, because ultimately you want to be with someone who desires to be healthy. You can be with and love someone who is big, lazy, or both, but eventually it's gonna put a damp in the relationship. If you really care about your loved one you will push them to be healthier, in a loving way.
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    My husband is 5'4" and 236. I'm 5'9" 264. I started at 294.

    He's dropped comments that are hurtful. I assume it's out of insecurity. But I know that as much as he hates my body (and I found IM transcripts to his ex wife stating that he did), I'm not thrilled with his belly either.

    I'm trying to change my life, but it's hard when I hear how he's waiting for me to give up, and how 'so and so' is HUGE, at LEAST 250 lbs!

    Yes. I'm fat, but he's mean and tactless. I'm going to lose my weight, but he'll still have the attitude. Yeah, we're mismatched.
  • MrsMck22
    MrsMck22 Posts: 44 Member
    This is definitely something that unfortunately takes up alot of my headspace . My husband is 5'11 165lbs and i am 5'9 310lbs (but getting less everyday!). He tells me I'm beautiful and he loves me, he doesn't see me as fat he just sees me - the woman he fell in love with 10 years ago and the mother of his child. He's very supportive and is happy to eat what i do as we have both put on alot of weight together (he needed it, i didn't!). I'm sure looking forward to seeing myself as he sees me! :-)

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