Stupid questions you hear in customer service.
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Had a lady call on Christmas Eve 5 min before we closed when I worked in a doctors office.
Me : How may I help you ?
Crazy Lady : I am bleeding out my *kitten* and need to see a doctor today.
Me : mam how long has this being going on
Crazy Lady: 6 weeks and I HAVE to be seen today.
Me: mam we close in 5 min if you feel this is an emergency you need to go to the ER.
Crazy Lady : Noooooooo the wait is too long let me see if I can get a ride and just come to see my doc.
Me: We close in 5 min let me take a message for the nurse to call you back.
Crazy Lady: I am not where I can be reached I will come by in a little while. Crazy lady hangs up.
We leave.........Merry Christmas to us. LOL0 -
Not a customer story but a customer service rep story.
I've been having trouble with Comcast HD DVR cable boxes (I'm on my 7th one in 6 weeks.) I've talked to Comcast reps more than my family of late. Every time you call they start at the top of their troubleshooting script and work their way down. Here's an excerpt from an exchange that occurred a couple weeks ago:
CSR: "Sir, what do you see on the front panel of your cable box right now?"
Me: "I see the clock, it's displaying the current time."
CSR: "OK sir, could you verify that the cable box power cord is plugged into the wall outlet?"
Me: <slaps forehead>0 -
While working at a Dollar store, every day
"Is everything a dollar?" or "How much is this?"
When I worked in a gently used clothing store, we got people every day asking where our "plus sizes" were. The idea that the sizes started at 0/1 or XS and went up to 20/22 or 2X 3X apparently confused people so much.
Also, had a woman the other day. I work in a national chain of offices that get used during tax season which shall remain nameless. "Hi, I need a copy of my (form) from last year's taxes. I got my taxes filed in (different office in town) but that's too far, can I come pick them up here?"
"Okay, so you need a copy of last year's taxes-"
"(FORM!!)"
"Yes, I understand the (form) from your documents last year. You can actually go online to (taxcompany.com) and print them out if you don't want to come in..."
"I WANT TO COME IN!"
"Okay, then you need to call the (other) office and ask them to send them because we don't have access to your forms for security purposes.... the number is (#)."
"Screw it I'll just go to (competing company)!"0 -
I'm a desk clerk at a motel. There is no end to people trying to get lower rates and they lie to do it. I'm a stickler for not giving any. The owner checks on what we are charging frequently and can tell who sold what. One gal constantly gave discounts because the first thing out of her mouth, in person or over the phone, was "Do you have AAA, ARP, or a military ID?" She never charged for all the adults in the room either. Needless to say she was canned.
Guest: That's pretty high do you give any discounts?
Me: We have three, AAA, ARP, or military.
Guest (gleefully): Triple A, yeah that's the one.
Me: (knowing he was lying) You do have to present a card or military ID when you check in.
Guest: (crestfallen): Oh. I'll have to pay full price then.
He went ahead and made the reservation.
A drunk who pulled the fire alarm: He was Hispanic so his skin was darker than mine. You'll see why I mention it farther down.
Guest: I can't find my room.
Me: I'll take you to it.
Guest: Why are you so f***** white?
Me: Guess I was born this way.
Guest: Not trying to insult you I respect and love you.
Me: Okay, let's go to your room.
Guest: I don't want to go with you I can see you are shooting out evil because you are so white. No disrespect I respect you and love you.
Me: Uh Hu
Guest: I thought something was fishy about this building. It's you causing it by sending out evil.
Me: Do you want me to show you to your room or not?
Guest: No, you are evil and I'm afraid.
He walked off and about 20 seconds later he pulled the alarm and all hell broke loose. This was at 1:30 in the morning. Drunks are never good news.0 -
While I am sure that there are many idiots calling customer service, it doesn't seem customer service is manned by Mensa members looking for some extra cash. Personally I'm sick and tired of companies that screw up and when I call their customer service departments, they have been replaced by customer sympathy departments. I don't need some nimrod on the other side of the phone 'understanding my frustration'. Luckily, I have been blessed with great friends and a WONDERFUL wife who offers me the sympathy I need in life, now I need customer 'service to get off their *kitten* and help me with the problem I called about.
Whew, thanks for letting me get that off my chest, I feel much better now.0 -
I manage an upscale condo HOA, here's a couple of my complaints from homeowners from the last couple of months:
Lady: Can you ask the ambulance to turn off their lights and sirens if they have to come in the middle of the night, they're waking me up.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't control the emergency vehicles that come onto the property
Lady: I guess I'm just going to give them a piece of my mind if they come again!
(Her neighbor is dying of cancer- seriously sick... emergency vehicles don't come that often though. I REALLY wanted to say that I was so sorry someone dying is affecting her sleep so much).
Lady: Someone broke into my house and had diarrhea everywhere!
Me: Were your doors and windows closed and locked?
Lady: Yes, I think they came in through the attic because my alarm was set too.
Me: My only suggestion is to report it to the police.
Seriously, someone with diarrhea climbed through an attic crawl space (bahahaha.... it still cracks me up imagining that) just to crap all over her house. My guess is that it was her dog.0 -
While I am sure that there are many idiots calling customer service, it doesn't seem customer service is manned by Mensa members looking for some extra cash. Personally I'm sick and tired of companies that screw up and when I call their customer service departments, they have been replaced by customer sympathy departments. I don't need some nimrod on the other side of the phone 'understanding my frustration'. Luckily, I have been blessed with great friends and a WONDERFUL wife who offers me the sympathy I need in life, now I need customer 'service to get off their *kitten* and help me with the problem I called about.
Whew, thanks for letting me get that off my chest, I feel much better now.
By saying they "understand your frustration" and the like they are just trying to diffuse what could become an angry customer.0 -
I work in a a finance company and come across the same problem everyday.
Cust: Your charging me interest! at a ridiculous rate! (5 years into agreement)
Me: You borrowed money from us. You have to pay interest. And the rate was agreed in the paperwork you signed and you've been paying this for 5 years and only now you realise how much interest your paying?
Cust: I didn't read that! who reads their agreement! and only now I've bothered to look into it!
PEOPLE READ YOUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS! PLEASE! IT ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF US IN CUSTOMER SERVICES!0 -
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While I am sure that there are many idiots calling customer service, it doesn't seem customer service is manned by Mensa members looking for some extra cash. Personally I'm sick and tired of companies that screw up and when I call their customer service departments, they have been replaced by customer sympathy departments. I don't need some nimrod on the other side of the phone 'understanding my frustration'. Luckily, I have been blessed with great friends and a WONDERFUL wife who offers me the sympathy I need in life, now I need customer 'service to get off their *kitten* and help me with the problem I called about.
Whew, thanks for letting me get that off my chest, I feel much better now.
Well, as someone who qualifies for mensa and works in the service industry, I can tell you that we're told to say that because people will literally tell us their life story instead of "I bought this product and it's defective." or something. Someone will call and tell you that their defective product means they can't go to this event or do this thing and they really needed it yesterday and blah blah blah. Also, often people will make a complaint about a company policy or something else we have no power to change so all we can offer is empathy. For example, people often have no concept of what BUSINESS DAYS are when ordering things through the mail, and if something says it will be there in 5-7 BUSINESS DAYS people will call on the 5th calendar day and yell at you for half an hour because their package is late.0 -
I don't need some nimrod on the other side of the phone 'understanding my frustration'.
YES!
In my numerous conversations with Comcast reps they always say, "I understand you must be frustrated and I know what you are feeling right now". I now answer with, "No you don't! Have you been forced to reboot your cable box the last nine times you wanted to watch TV, then call Comcast to have it re-activated and be put on hold for 15-20 minutes per call? Have you gone to the Comcast store four times in the past month to exchange faulty cable boxes?"
I had a Comcast guy, obviously in India, with heavy Indian accent, start off on the wrong foot with this:
CSR: <imagine lilting Indian accented voice> "Hello, my name is Andrew, how can I help you."
Me: "No, it's not."
CSR: No, it's not....what?"
Me: "Your name is not Andrew, let's be honest here."
and so it went....
I'm really not an @ss when I call. I will say things like, "I know it's not your fault this is happening to me" or "I really want to scream at someone but I won't do it because you're not to blame".0 -
customer: I need tire chains for my car
me: do you know your tire size?
customer: they are 15"
me: thats your rim size, do you know the tire size?
customer: I know they are 15"
me: ok, can you tell me the year, make and model?
customer: why does it matter?
me: because I need to know the tire size and not just the rim size to find chains that will fit
customer: I told you they are 15"
or
customer: the gas pump stopped working
me: thats because you pumped $20 worth and you had only paid for $20
customer: but I need more
me: ok, how much would you like
customer: well I dont have anymore money
-and they wonder why pre-pay was made mandantory-0 -
I manage an upscale condo HOA, here's a couple of my complaints from homeowners from the last couple of months:
Lady: Can you ask the ambulance to turn off their lights and sirens if they have to come in the middle of the night, they're waking me up.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't control the emergency vehicles that come onto the property
Lady: I guess I'm just going to give them a piece of my mind if they come again!
(Her neighbor is dying of cancer- seriously sick... emergency vehicles don't come that often though. I REALLY wanted to say that I was so sorry someone dying is affecting her sleep so much).
Lady: Someone broke into my house and had diarrhea everywhere!
Me: Were your doors and windows closed and locked?
Lady: Yes, I think they came in through the attic because my alarm was set too.
Me: My only suggestion is to report it to the police.
Seriously, someone with diarrhea climbed through an attic crawl space (bahahaha.... it still cracks me up imagining that) just to crap all over her house. My guess is that it was her dog.
That's too funny. If she called the police I wonder what they thought. Probably the same as you.0 -
I work at a grocery store, and I do my best to come to a resolution for the customers, but sometimes I wonder. This is a situation that happens on a regular basis.
Customer: I bought this item (most of the time it's fresh meat), about a week ago, went to cook it and realized it had a bad smell (after or during cooking).
Me: Do you have the receipt?
Customer: No, I throw them out
Me: Do you have the outer packaging with the store sticker and price?
Customer: No, I threw it out... But I do have the meat here.....
Me: Well, I thank you for bringing us back the bad meat, but how can I give you any type of refund without a price?
Customer: Oh, it was about $20.00. If you can't give me the $ you can give me a store credit.
Me:While I'd love to help you out, without any proof of purchase from our store, I can't give you any money.
Note to customers: Please keep receipts, especially with fresh products. Also check on return policies at the store. I'm really not a mean person, there's just only so much that I can do...0 -
I work at a blue & yellow, well-known, big box electronics store, and we got a call once asking if we rented out computers.
Also, calling and asking about an ipod. It was square but two sides were longer than the others. "So its a rectangle?" "No, its a square."
Ok.0 -
Oh, I also had someone call and ask how to open a laptop.0
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I work in a a finance company and come across the same problem everyday.
Cust: Your charging me interest! at a ridiculous rate! (5 years into agreement)
Me: You borrowed money from us. You have to pay interest. And the rate was agreed in the paperwork you signed and you've been paying this for 5 years and only now you realise how much interest your paying?
Cust: I didn't read that! who reads their agreement! and only now I've bothered to look into it!
PEOPLE READ YOUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS! PLEASE! IT ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF US IN CUSTOMER SERVICES!
this reminds me if when I worked at canadian tire, a customer called to complain about their canadian tire options mastercard
I explained to the customer that the store doesnt manage the credit card, and he would have to call the number on the back of the card with his complaint because there was nothing the retail store could do about it. apparently I must be difficult to understand because he continued to voice his complaint, I placed the phone down on the desk and continued to help another customer while I could hear the guy on the phone going on and on about everything that is wrong with the credit card. after a while I picked up the phone and told him again that he would have to call the 800 number on the back of his card t have his complaint resolved, then I hung up.
yeah, Im not good at customer service, I've actually told a customer who tried the "the customer is always right" line that no, in actuallity the customer is rarely if ever right.0 -
wowOh, I also had someone call and ask how to open a laptop.0 -
I work at a grocery store, and I do my best to come to a resolution for the customers, but sometimes I wonder. This is a situation that happens on a regular basis.
Customer: I bought this item (most of the time it's fresh meat), about a week ago, went to cook it and realized it had a bad smell (after or during cooking).
Me: Do you have the receipt?
Customer: No, I throw them out
Me: Do you have the outer packaging with the store sticker and price?
Customer: No, I threw it out... But I do have the meat here.....
Me: Well, I thank you for bringing us back the bad meat, but how can I give you any type of refund without a price?
Customer: Oh, it was about $20.00. If you can't give me the $ you can give me a store credit.
Me:While I'd love to help you out, without any proof of purchase from our store, I can't give you any money.
Note to customers: Please keep receipts, especially with fresh products. Also check on return policies at the store. I'm really not a mean person, there's just only so much that I can do...
yes, keep receipts! and go back to the right store to return it,
customer: I would like to return this
me: do you have a receipt
customer: yes
me: this is a wal mart receipt, you will have to go there to return it
customer: this isnt wal mart?0 -
This is a rather amusing thread :P0
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