Please some help- Extremely abusive mother

Hi there, I understand a bit because my mother was verbally abusive, probably since the day I was born, an event which she told me on two occasions that she wished had never happened. I was told on a daily basis that I was thick, ugly and a fat cow all of which were hurtful but I believed her. I was lucky in that I have a very good looking, smart and extremely confident older brother who used to look out for me when she got physical, up until the age of about 12 when someone told him he was a cissy for hanging around with his sister. Then when I was about 16, all the boys started to chat me up and I was totally confused - why would anyone want to go out with a big fat ugly cow like me? Turns out I wasn't big or fat or even ugly she had just convinced me that I was.
To cut a miserable story short, I met my husband, he asked me to marry him on our second date and 29years later we are still extremely happy, so much so that I am now fat, but quite good looking and definitely not a cow.
My mother is stuck in a loveless marriage and my father is her full-time carer; she has suffered 2 severe strokes, has heart failure lymphodema, cannot walk at all or talk for long and relies on others to do her bidding. She does not live in England now, but my brother lives just up the road from them and never visits her, he does take my father out for a break from her. She 'died' just before Christmas and they brought her back, she doesn't know why. They call it Karma. My father is stuck there because he never defended me, and she is stuck there for all the terrible things she did to me. She rings me constantly and I listen to her rantings 'cos she has no-one else. The thing that really annoys me is that the rest of the family knew what she was doing but daren't interfere.
Talk to someone because you are not the things she says you are, you are a lovely person who deserves a lovely life away from this despicable woman.
I am thinking of you and always remember , what goes around comes around-don't wish her ill, that will just happen.

You don't need family like that.

Get some therapy, find your inner self, make friends, leave this woman behind.

Carve a new and better path for your life.

Best wishes XO

It might help to think of her not as your mother but as your birth vessel. The way she has treated you is not mothering, so she isn't your mother.

I was just thinking the same thing. I hope you find the strength to leave and start living your life. She makes my mom look like a saint. Best of luck to you.

If you are paying 95% of the bills, then you can pay 100% of the bills. Get your own place. Put some space between you and her. I know she is all the family that you have, but that doesn't mean that you have to put up with her ****!

All my best! I'm so sorry that you didn't have a better mother. :flowerforyou: