Do your partners/family give you support or not?

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  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Just have to move on and not let every comment get to you. Or you will drive yourself insane. I cope by running.

    ^^^^Do you RUN AWAY, or do you run back also? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^:huh:

    I run in a circle
  • CCusedtodance
    CCusedtodance Posts: 237 Member
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    My husband is trying to support me and is even doing the Shred with me; HOWEVER he does not get the calorie thing. He keeps trying to shove food under my nose and asks me if I want some. I went to Taco Bell the other day and ordered one tostada to which he asked said "that's all you are getting, you need more". I use these message boards and a co-worker for my support the most. I finally realized my 6', barely overweight, can eat just about anything and loses weight if he gives up a snack husband will never understand my body.
  • 2013queen
    2013queen Posts: 82
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    Mine doesnt really know Im dieting. He knows Im watching what I eat and exercising a lot but not really for losing weight purposes.
    He has noticed and commented that Ive lost weight but not actually complimented me about it.
    I still want to lose 20 pounds so lets see what he thinks then.
  • danibu98
    danibu98 Posts: 281 Member
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    My husband is super supportive and even works out with me a couple of days a week. He doesn't comment on what I am eating, he knows I am doing what I need to do. He cheers me on when I share my successes and offers support when I'm frustrated.

    FWIW, He's 6'1", 180 lbs, and has perfectly scuplted muscles that many of us dream of. He's built but not bulky. He also runs 5 days a week, plays hockey 2x a week, and works out with me 2x a week. He eats a ton (but not much junk) and he's blessed with a great metabolism and is of course very active. He's never been overweight so it's hard for him to understand how I am feeling sometimes, but that is OK.

    Sometimes I get jealous of him and all the attention he gets from women, but 95-99% of the time I am straight up proud to have a smart, wonderful, hot-as-heck loving man who is a great father to my children on my arm.
  • CharT5188
    CharT5188 Posts: 57 Member
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    My husband and I are on this journey together. We are very supportive of each other. We work out together every day. The only difference is that we eat completely different - he is doing no/low carb and I am counting calories but we don't criticize each others food choices. We cheer each other on when we lose weight or have a NSV. It has done wonders for our marriage! :wink:
  • Phrick
    Phrick Posts: 2,765 Member
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    Hmm. My husband is supportive in that he knows what I'm doing and would never purposefully try to sabotage me; he tries to make sure there is going to be more than one thing I can eat if he's planning dinner to be eaten out; he will ask "how was your workout?" - but at the same time, I climbed onto the fitness bandwagon just about the same time he fell off it. So it's kind of mutual encouragement at this point, I'm hoping to encourage him back onto the wagon and he's encouraging me to stay on it!
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,154 Member
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    I don’t think we men are (for the most part at least) trying to be unsupportive. We have just been taught from an early age that saying anything about a woman’s weight other than “You’re beautiful just the way you are” is a surefire way to end up in trouble. Plus, I think a lot of them feel like it is starting to intrude on their lifestyles since this a choice they didn’t make, but it is affecting their lives in a significant way. I’ve had to be on this end of things multiple times: as a vegetarian living with a carnivore and as someone trying to lose weight with a partner who isn’t. She has flat-out told me before that having to live around choices you haven’t made sometimes feels intrusive and confining (I do my best to research restaurants before I go so I don’t have to make things difficult there and I do most of the cooking for the same reason). Plus, she worries that it can become slightly obsessive (and in a world where anorexia is as prevalent as it is, and where the poor body image the causes it is often caused or exacerbated by comments from men, tv has taught men to be careful about saying anything or aiding anything that could conceivably lead to that kind of obsession). If you feel he is being unsupportive, talk to him. Explain what he is doing and why it is hurting. If he is a decent human being, he’ll at least try to improve.
  • mokotutza
    mokotutza Posts: 20
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    My husband constantly tells me I'm not doing enough and he makes rude remarks about my body,even if I'm overweight,not obese.And he always tells me about these thin and fit girls he sees everywhere...He's a keeper,I know!
  • Morgalla
    Morgalla Posts: 25 Member
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    I have been every size from 4 to 24 and the only unpleasant thing my husband ever said was, Will you quit losing weight? You look like Skeletor! (My face never holds fat, even when I am big so when I am thin I can look gaunt) He never teased me when I was big, or acted like he thought I was unattractive, but he knew I hated my own appearance. For a while when I was just dieting he would constantly bring home candy (my weakness) and leave it laying around. I can't eat "just one" of anything so I don't buy it. I wouldn't call it "sabotage," but it came close enough that I had to put my foot down and ask him if he liked me fat and miserable, because he was doing his best to ensure I stayed that way forever.

    My sons are very supportive. My daughter makes the Jabba the Hutt laugh if she sees me with ice cream (her way of helping)
  • hinzee4
    hinzee4 Posts: 155 Member
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    I give my wife mixed messages! She's skinny as a rail and I'm on and off eating healthy and not. But I have to decide for myself that it's me that puts the food to the mouth. I have to think that way or forget it. I have been angry at my wife before for not supporting me when half the problem was me to begin with. It can be complicated the way I think sometimes. I just keep pluggin along. Good luck!
  • wbandel
    wbandel Posts: 530 Member
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    My husband wasn't really supportive until he caught the fitness bug. Now he is the one throwing my stuff out of the cart and looking for even better calorie choices. I don't think he wanted to focus on what I was doing before he started, as it made him feel worse about himself, and he just wasn't at the point of being ready to make a change. I don't think you can ask someone to support you, but it's at least important to have them respect your decision and not make it harder for you.

    As for my family, my older sister and younger brother lost weight first, so they're super happy for me. My twin sister on the other hand is worried she'll be the "fat sibling" now, so I don't talk to her about it much to spare her feelings. In my experience you just have to talk with other people who are interested in the same things to get support, whether it's on here, or it's your aunt you hardly talked to before. A lot of people in my family have been supportive, it's just not the people I normally talked to before.

    Try expanding your support network.
  • NYCNika
    NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
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    My husband if very supportive. Before, it was as if he was completely oblivious to the fact that I gained weight.
    It was sweet but almost weird -- I mean how can you not see? I gained it during pregnancy though, so that was expected, but than I never lost most of it. But he still believed I was fine, until I looked up my BMI and it showed me as "overweight". He could not believe it.

    Now, when I decided to work on it, he is making sure that I have every opportunity -- he will take care of the baby or anything that needs to be done so that I can run whenever I want to.

    I am also lucky that he likes anything I cook and is into healthy eating and exercising himself.

    He is also very patient with me rambling on about calories. He and MFP are my outlets for this, because I don't want to be one of "those" women and try not to talk about it to other real life people.
  • horrorghoul
    horrorghoul Posts: 59 Member
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    My boyfriend gets so jealous and he says I am not spending time with him. Its annoying. Says I am going to leave him for someone else. Funny thing is that he is over weight also and if he wanted he could be out there with me losing weight to.
  • wbandel
    wbandel Posts: 530 Member
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    My sons are very supportive. My daughter makes the Jabba the Hutt laugh if she sees me with ice cream (her way of helping)

    LMAO! This is great! I love quirky support. My husband likes to compliment me by saying I don't look like a hippo anymore. It sounds horribly mean, but we say stuff like that for the shock value, rather than to be cruel. We're always looking for the most shocking backwards compliment to out do each other. I'd totally do this the next time I see him eating something questionable, but I don't think he'd get the reference.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    No, I don't get any encouragement at all. Totally alone.

    I'm glad, though, that people around me rarely try to undermine me.
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
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    My family is very supportive. My friends also. My brother doesnt say much but other than that, whether people compliment me or say nothing at all I find ways to motivate myself.

    If i was doing this to appease other people then I would definitely want their support but since i am doing this for me it is just much easier to find motivation.

    the girl in the yoga pants in front of me on the treadmill
    knowing i am running faster when playing basketball
    knowing i am boxing out better and getting rebounds when playing basketball
    my clothes fitting looser
  • Bownzi
    Bownzi Posts: 423 Member
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    Well for the most part my wife does not give any real support.... i get more at work than at home....
  • kymkan
    kymkan Posts: 444 Member
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    Mine acts like he doesn't notice, but when he sees me naked, getting in the shower, I catch him looking.... lol. God forbid he say something positive. He thinks that I'm doing it to get attention from men.... Why can't we do something just to make ourselves healthier and happier without them thinking it has to do with someone else. Not only that, but he is a gorgeous, blonde haired, blue eyed 6'4" guy and I don't want ppl saying 'what is he doing with her?' when we're out - which is how I used to feel. not so much now, and not once I get it all off and get toned :)
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    My husband is along for the calorie-counting ride, and is supportive, though he does tend to encourage me to indulge in treats. I resist, so it's kind of a joke between us.

    Me: I wonder how many calories were in those three fries I took off your plate.
    Him: ZERO, because they weren't yours.
    Me: . . . (logs an educated guess)
  • 4ever420
    4ever420 Posts: 4,088 Member
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    My husband has never had a weight problem. When chips or chocolate is on sale at the store he buys a bunch of it and when I say that I don't want that stuff around he says just don't eat it. As if I got to the point I have by being able to say no to temptation! Argghh, he just doesn't get it.

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