Do your partners/family give you support or not?



  • ze_hombre
    ze_hombre Posts: 377 Member
    Not at first. My wife was great through most of it (although there was some eye rolling and questioning looks). My friends were supportive in that they didn't give me grief or make fun of me, but I had to remind them that I wasn't eating carbs or that I needed to skip a double quarter pounder because I was close or over calories for the day. Then around the 30 pounds lost mark, it all kinda snapped into place for everyone. From that point, everyone was commenting how much I lost, and asking how I did it, and not offering me carby food. Many even started joining in or starting their own regimen.

    But I didn't do any of this for them. I did it for me. I was tired of looking like a blob. I was tired of looking like an easter egg if I wore pastel shirts. I was tired of always being tired. You should never let other's views or beliefs have direct impact on your own personal view points.
  • norcal_yogi
    norcal_yogi Posts: 675 Member
    No, mine likes "more cushin' for the pushin"...and has been very vocal about that.
    yeah my husband prefers this as well..... lol.
  • brittaney10811
    brittaney10811 Posts: 588 Member
    My husband is my biggest supporter. It helps so much that we are doing this together!! We will grocery shop together, sit down and plan out our meals for the week, i'll cook and he'll "help" haha.... i.e. measure out seasonings and anything that doesn't involve the actual "cooking" part of the meal, haha... but he'll stay in the kitchen and keep me company, as well as do the dishes with me after the meal. He asks what i had to eat for the day, and i'll ask him. we work out together in the mornings at crossfit and really root one another on and push each other to be better. He's fully my partner in all of this, and i'm very aware how lucky i am :smooched:
  • mgpage
    mgpage Posts: 123
    I have to say that my husband and daughters have been very supportive. I am the only one in the house that is trying to lose weight, but my husband does most of the grocery shopping and he will call me and say "I got you a new healthy snack to try, man eating healthy cost a lot." My oldest daughter told me she loves it when I lose weight because I cook more, and I like your meals. My daughters also walk with me and I use that time to talk to them about whatever they want to talk about.
  • Danieboo757
    I've been blessed to have a very supportive BF he works out with me and when we go out he makes sure whatever I order is something I'll feel good about later even if its a burger he'll simply ask are u sure u want tht and ur not gonna cry about it later? I love that he helps me with this but with that said the bottom line is he's always been supportive but I just started doing the "right thing". I had to make that choice for myself and stick with it. YES it makes it easier to have support but its not NEEDED...u can do this with or without any body else and when you do it and get it done don't forget to flaunt it and be PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Yes, but I don't rely on it. Never have, never will. This is not anyone else's mission. Just mine.
  • shrinkingbrian
    shrinkingbrian Posts: 171 Member
    At first, things were hard with my wife but over time, she has been more supportive. We don't spend as much time together because I am exercising a lot (up to 2-3 hours a day) but I still try to spend some time with my wife. I was over 400 pounds and didn't want to make my wife and young widow so a little time away each day means that I will hopefully live longer with her. I still try to go out to eat once a week with my wife for lunch or breakfast while our kids are in school on a date. I have also offered to go on walks with my wife so we can exercise together. Sometimes, she makes desserts and has sweets around but I just try to resist. It takes a lot of will power though with lots of sweets around the house. My wife is very supportive of buying lots of fruits and vegetables at the store and helps cut up fresh vegetables (carrots, green peppers, broccoli) for me for dinner which I really appreciate. As a whole, our meals have more healthy and I also appreciate that.
  • carrieous
    carrieous Posts: 1,024 Member

    whatever, i dont care, I do it anyway because i eat right and work out for myself and no one else.

    every once in awhile he will get on a kick and say he is going to be healthier. He asked for a yoga mat and videos for xmas. I bought them for him. He has not used them once and its march. (!)
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    My husband is pretty supportive. At first he didn't get it...he'd say things like "you're not supposed to eat peanut butter" or "can you have that?" and so I had some good conversations with him about how starving yourself isn't the right way to lose weight and yes I can eat what I like as long as I don't overindulge. He'll still ask questions once in a while but I don't take it as an accusation, I take it as an opportunity to share my knowledge and help him get healthier as well. And obviously at this point I've made it clear that I know what I'm talking about because I've been able to stick with it for the first time ever and weigh less than him for the first time in our 15 years together. :)

    He also is great about my fitness goals. I'll be lazing around the house and say something like "I was thinking about going for a walk (or run) but it's kind of cold out (or I'm tired)" and he'll be like "come on, don't be a woosy, get out there!". And he pays more attention to my activity than I realize For a while I was going to the gym after work and would just shower when I got home. Then I changed my routine to going mid-morning and he thought I stopped going! LOL - it's good to know he's looking out for me!
  • MichelleZB
    I'm living with my mom right now who refuses to cook anything healthy. She bakes cookies constantly. And when I work out in front of her all she can say is "Michelle, you are working too hard... you need to stop." I just want to yell at her NO I need to work HARDER. Push myself so I can become healthy. Grrrr. So frustrating.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    Not really, but I don't require it.
    This is my thing. Nobody elses.

    I don't think I have ever made any announcement or proclamation that I am losing weight. I have not taken any pictures of myself in the mirror. I have no progress pictures. All I am doing is trying to eat healthier and exercise a bit more. So, I don't think I have given my wife any indication that I need that verbal and active support. I'm pretty unassuming, in general - so I don't want me getting healthier to be an overblown crusade - i'd rather just do it under the radar.

    my wife loves me if i am 160lbs or 460lbs, and that's all the support from her i need.
  • heathercicle
    heathercicle Posts: 91 Member
    My boyfriend eats whatever the f@#k he wants, and when we go grocery shopping he's the one throwing cookies and chips in the cart. He's got a little bit of a belly himself (mostly from soda I think), but it's not my business to criticize him when he's still at a normal, healthy weight. He doesn't exercise with me, he doesn't constantly encourage me, and he says "don't blow your diet" every time I talk about wanting to eat something like ice cream. And then proceeds to snarf down a whole bag of snack mix in front of me. :P

    But you know what? It doesn't bother me. Because this is MY weight loss, not his, and ultimately at the end of the day it is most important to ME. Sure, I liked it when he told me tonight that he's proud of what I'm doing. But praises from him like that are few and far between. He's not required to be supportive simply because he is my boyfriend, and to expect that from a loved one is just setting yourself up for disappointment and upset. Your family is there to support you, yes, but that doesn't mean they have to be your personal cheerleaders all the time-- you can't force everyone to be on your same game plan.

    If you feel like your husband is demoralizing you on accident (or on purpose), then communicate that to him. Tell him that his teasing is discouraging to you, and that you would appreciate more positive encouragement. But don't expect him or anyone else to hold your hand and guide you every step of the way. Be grateful for support you DO receive, but realize that if you want this bad enough, if you really want to change your life, you'll do it for YOU, and not for recognition or approval from anyone else!

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. My S.O. is very different than I and will go about things in a different way which leads to a certain amount of criticism or no support at all. Despite that, I know that my weight loss is MY job, not his. He rarely says anything to congratulate me and is rarely open to eating healthy food with me. It's been a learning process but one that makes me realize just how strong I am to continue meeting my goals.

    You don't need anyone but yourself to keep you running on the treadmill. You don't need anyone to tell you "Good job!" when you put down the box of cookies. Your body will tell you just how well you've done because it will show when YOU (and no one else) have put in the work.

    I hope this helps!
  • ElizabethKG1983
    ElizabethKG1983 Posts: 76 Member
    My Fiance is very supportive and constantly tells me to stay on track and how proud he is of me. It would be much harder for me if he wasn't supportive. I also do the grocery shopping so I make sure that for the most part the food that is coming into the house is healthy and if not I make sure it is small amounts of things that don't tempt me!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    My husband sometimes gets annoyed that I spend what he considers too much of our precious free time exercising. But other than that, he varies between supportive and indifference. He is fine with the healthy meals I cook because I'm a good cook and he is lazy. And he is very complimentary of my body and my fitness improvement, but doesn’t like to hear about my fitness goals all the time. MFP forums and other online fitness groups have helped with that.
  • Queen_Adrock
    Queen_Adrock Posts: 130 Member
    My parents are supportive of everything I do to better myself as a person, so absolutely! My husband has been wonderful, too. He has taken this whole journey with me and changed his lifestyle, too -- picking out better options at the supermarket, finding new and interesting vegetables and fruits that we can add into our diet, buying and using healthy cookbooks (and he's formed a newfound interest in cooking as an art). We'll take walks together, go to the gym together, and he'll even join me in the basement for Gillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I couldn't ask for a better guy! :smile:
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    [My husband] varies between supportive and indifference. He is fine with the healthy meals I cook....and he is very complimentary of my body and my fitness improvement, but doesn’t like to hear about my fitness goals all the time. MFP forums and other online fitness groups have helped with that.

  • dramallamaduck
    dramallamaduck Posts: 97 Member
    My fiance is surprisingly quite supportive. I started the MFP journey and made up my mind to not give up this time. I talked to my fiance and he told me that no matter what I did he supported me. A week or so into the logging, I get a friend request on MFP from him! I asked him about it and he said, "You don't have to do this alone. I'm with you." My last relationship was...complex. I'm still very hesitant with anything weight related around my fiance. My ex was a FA and every time I tried to make a positive change I was met with guilt trips and manipulation about how fat people can be healthy too. I tried to explain that my goal wasn't ultimately weight loss, it was making my body healthier. He wasn't going for any of it. Let's just say I lost about 160 pounds of *kitten* when I dumped him!

    My mom is also a huge support. She buys me healthy snacks and doesn't mind when I order a fruit cup instead of chicken at Chick Fil A. She never asks how I'm doing, but she cheers when I annouce a loss and encourages if I have a gain. She also always helps when I get random muscle cramps.

    My dad isn't that supportive. He typically has pretty harsh words if he sees me eating something fried or sweet, even when I've worked it into my calories for the day. He lost about 100 pounds a few years ago and is adamant that the only way to lose is his way. His way or the highway. I'm sorry but I can't survive on soup and crackers all the time. I need veggies and fruit and dairy and more than just around 1000 cals a day.
  • dmusler
    dmusler Posts: 3
    The perfect answer, bravo!
  • KrazyAsianNic
    KrazyAsianNic Posts: 1,227 Member
    My boyfriend supports me 100%. He tells me what a great job I'm doing when I keep up with working out and always enjoys the food I make. And he's patient with me.

    My family is a different story. I feel as if they want me to lose weight for different reason. No one gets excited about the things I do because I've done it before years ago and they think I'll give up again. I have had one person tell me I look like I lost weight and then my dad ask me if I gained weight and have been working out.

    Just hang in there. If you're doing this for yourself, be proud of how far you've come. ignore everyone else's negativity
  • Lisah8969
    Lisah8969 Posts: 1,247 Member
    I live with my brother. He started on MFP about 2 weeks before I did. Thank goodness we aren't competitive with each other since I would definitely lose (he has lost about 1.5 pounds to every 1 that I have lost). I won't say that we comment on each other's weight loss, but we will say something if we hit a milestone. When one of us makes dinner, everything that had a bar code sits on the counter until the other has had a chance to scan it. There is no finger pointing when one of us blows those extra calories that we have left since we both understand that it is allowed. I can, however, honestly say that I would not have been this successful on my own. I do hate that he is a guy and I have to work twice as hard for less results, but at least it's working.

    Outside the house, I have friends who I can talk about this stuff with in minute detail and they are all right with that and offer help and compliments when warranted. A lot of people at work are also very complimentary which is a great help especially now that I have been at a plateau for about 3 months. I know I have to just keep on doing what is best for me and still hearing people tell me that I look good even when I know the scale hasn't moved in 90 days is just what I need.
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