Thigh gap - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

They look good on some, awful on others, but I wouldn't say they were unfeminine.

At 5'8" and 115, I did not have a thigh gap. I think it's safe to say I was quite thin, then (college - always on the go, and as a technical theatre major, also always LITERALLY running up and down stairs/ backstage/ across campus).

I think it is also safe to say I figured I was thigh-gap-deficient: it was clearly not in the cards for someone like me to ever be that kind of thin.

Now, *grumble*grumble* years later, I'm still 5'8", but now I'm 145 -- with a thigh gap, because I've changed my body composition through a completely different kind of exercise.

I don't think either one is better/ worse/ sexier/ less sexy -- I think women have different body types, and different lovers will find different things beautiful. YOu may not find my gap attrtactive, but the people who matter in my life aren't looking to see if that's present - they love the person that lives inside the skin that may/not be a body type you find attractive.

What I don't understand is why so many people seem to care?

Do we really care whether one teenager on the internet thinks thigh gaps are unattractive or unfeminine?

I know I don't.

It's too early in the morning where I live for body shaming.

Some days I care more than others, honestly.

But I do think that people need to be called out on stuff like this, in case they don't realize that they're being hurtful. My self-image isn't tied up in what this OP thinks, but someone else coming across a thread like this might be more affected.

^^^^ totally this. I couldn't really give a rat's hairy behind whether some random internet person would like how my legs look or not... but there are a lot of women (especially very young women) who are a lot more vulnerable to being negatively affected by body shaming, in some cases to the point of doing unhealthy things to try and fix a "problem" when there isn't even anything wrong.

I agree with you both. I'm just not eloquent before coffee, and when the coffee-deprived old lady reads these ridiculously offensive body shaming posts, I react the way I did. OP's a girl telling other people what's attractive and feminine. Her purpose is nothing other than to remark on a body type that she, in her almighty internet power, has deemed unattractive. It's ridiculous.

My point of saying "I don't care what she thinks" is young girls who are worried about how they look shouldn't care what this one judgmental person thinks, either. I had an ED as a teen, and while girls like her weren't the cause of it, they sure didn't help.

Do we really care whether one teenager on the internet thinks thigh gaps are unattractive or unfeminine?

I know I don't.

It's too early in the morning where I live for body shaming.

Some days I care more than others, honestly.

But I do think that people need to be called out on stuff like this, in case they don't realize that they're being hurtful. My self-image isn't tied up in what this OP thinks, but someone else coming across a thread like this might be more affected.

^^^^ totally this. I couldn't really give a rat's hairy behind whether some random internet person would like how my legs look or not... but there are a lot of women (especially very young women) who are a lot more vulnerable to being negatively affected by body shaming, in some cases to the point of doing unhealthy things to try and fix a "problem" when there isn't even anything wrong.

I agree with you both. I'm just not eloquent before coffee, and when the coffee-deprived old lady reads these ridiculously offensive body shaming posts, I react the way I did. OP's a girl telling other people what's attractive and feminine. Her purpose is nothing other than to remark on a body type that she, in her almighty internet power, has deemed unattractive. It's ridiculous.

My point of saying "I don't care what she thinks" is young girls who are worried about how they look shouldn't care what this one judgmental person thinks, either. I had an ED as a teen, and while girls like her weren't the cause of it, they sure didn't help.

Tbh I had the same thought in between posts-- why would I even let it bother me that some random person thinks I'm unattractive or "gross" (another thread, same poster). I totally agree that people should not care what random people on the internet think. :flowerforyou:

For some they look okay, for some they don't.
I'm indifferent.
The thing I want is muscle in my legs...with or without the gap, I don't care.

wow, so what about those of us who have this without having "tried" for it (I lost a whole person and have a noticable thigh gap now), maybe I should put on 20 lbs so you think I'm attractive.

Oh wait, I don't give a flying *kitten* what you find attractive or why. Have a nice day.

I have a big huge thigh gap that is never going to go away. Unattractive and unfeminine are not words I would use to describe my legs, but hey, if that is how the op and others feel, then there it is. It's probably a good thing she doesn't have one. I, on the other hand, have legs that have done and continue to do great things. The thigh gap hate strikes a nerve with me- young women should not be hurting themselves to try to get one, but as for my legs, it's sort of silly to see someone talk about how unattractive it is, when my legs are a physical feature that I frequently get complimented on irl.

I know what IS unattractive.......

:laugh:

How dare you body shame my thigh gap!

:laugh:

I know what IS unattractive.......

Moronic people who create moronic threads to put other people down. Your life must be pretty slow at the moment......

Well said!!

Or "lets make ourselves feel better about something we can't be bothered to work towards by making out it's not attractive".

I'm proud of my body. I work hard for this *kitten*. And I can eat all the cake I want.

Personally, I think it's hotter when a woman aspires to be the best at who she is. To capitalize at whatever her genetics have given her by working as hard as possible, whether or not that includes a thigh gap or anything else. I think it's better when they aspire to their own best end as opposed to any singular percieved ideal "trait". If you have one, good on ya, if you don't, hey you're hot too!

WOW she's skinny. Hmmmm how do I feel about thigh gap..... I lose sleep at night worrying about it...... i feel like - well - if you want it- get it and if you don't want it- don't.

Completely insulting thread.. I'm 168lbs with a slight thigh gap, I've had two kids, I'm curvy, fit and fabulous.

I'll tell you what's unattractive? Jealous, malicious people who nothing better to do than judge OTHER PEOPLE'S bodies. Judge your own, I KNOW it is far from perfect.

QFT!! :drinker:

Hating on other women's bodies is wrong, and needs to stop. Whether or not you have a thigh gap depends on your bone structure. Some women will have one even when their body fat percentage is quite high (e.g. high end of the normal range) - others will not have one even at 13% body fat.

Calling it "unfeminine" and "unattractive" is not really fair on women who naturally have one. Maybe a thigh gap looks bad on someone who starved themselves ridiculously underweight to get one..... but they look good on women who have them naturally when their body composition is healthy.

This is one thing I really can't stand.... when women of one body type hate on women with another body type.... it's all over MFP. Why can't you learn to love yourselves without putting others down in the process?

This, so much this. It's obviously completely OK to not find it 'attractive', everyone has their own opinions. But threads like this, "Who else hates this body type/feature?" are so incredibly hurtful and unnecessary. I don't know why there's this bandwagon for hating the thigh gap - maybe because it's become unofficially symbolic of thinpso or pro-ana - but it's absurd. There would be enormous backlash if someone posted a thread about hating small breasts or body hair or someone's skin color. When it comes down to it, the thigh gap is part of how someone is built. Dismissing it as unfeminine is not different than saying because a female has less than a certain cupsize, they're also unfeminine.

This! I think you really hit the nail on the head with where the backlash about the "gap" originated. I am 35 and I had never heard of a thigh gap or the desire to have one until a couple of years ago. My nieces told me that in school a girl is considered fat if she doesn't have one. There are plenty of women who have them naturally, and with skinny jeans being so popular now, I think it has become a goal for many girls/women who don't have them naturally to achieve this. I think the OP's choice of wording is harsh and a bit judgemental, but I can appreciate her aggravation for this unhealthy trend. Don't kill yourself trying to get a body that you weren't meant to have.

*waits for all the guys to come on and say otherwise*

I think you're more likely to have women coming in here and saying otherwise actually.

I think if a woman wants a gap between her legs she should just open them.

QFT!