Online Dating: The way to go or just plain desperate?

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  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
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    It's far from desperate to try something new if what you're doing isn't quite working. Just be careful and use good sense. It's always best if you can meet someone fairly quickly to get the real life vibe, since people can present themselves however they want to online.
  • futureshopaholic
    futureshopaholic Posts: 64 Member
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    I'm totally fine with online dating but its hard. I really, really fell in love with a guy in Texas and had to break it off because we're just teens. We couldn't do anything thing about the distance. I don't regret the two years at all but I wish it was easier. So if you think you can face those struggles and let's be honest, Have the money to see them if/when it gets serious. Then you should go for it.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Back when I had more time, I got on a dating site and purposely chose the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with, just for the good story it would produce. And trust me, I got some GOOD stories.

    I see that as clever, not desperate.
  • SarahKhristan
    SarahKhristan Posts: 134 Member
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    I met my husband on POF. I tried a few dating services, mostly because my work schedule stunk and I never was able to go out with friends nearly as much as I wanted to. Online dating allowed me to at least talk to guys online, and I had the choice of meeting them if I chose to.

    I will say this - I tried again and again and again(and again, etc) with online dating. Meeting my husband was the best thing, but I dated many fellas prior (and had a few bad experiences to boot).

    P.S. - Real men DO love cats!
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Back when I had more time, I got on a dating site and purposely chose the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with, just for the good story it would produce. And trust me, I got some GOOD stories.

    I see that as clever, not desperate.

    This is how we met.

    :flowerforyou: :love:
  • WDEvy
    WDEvy Posts: 814 Member
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    I met my husband online.

    It's not 1995 anymore, online dating is normal these days.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    I met my husband online.

    It's not 1995 anymore, online dating is normal these days.

    Is it?
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
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    I think the stigma of desperation has long been dispelled with online dating. Like anything it's not going to just magically work, you have to work at it and wade through the unsavories. But it gives you the benefit of exposing yourself to a wide variety of people who you'd never meet in a bar or at a club or wherever. Go for it.
  • tsikkz
    tsikkz Posts: 404 Member
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    I met my boyfriend on an online game and we knew each other for a year before we met

    You do some pretty good bonding when you slay dragons together with your +6 sword, just sayin'
  • OneLoveUnitedFamily2007
    OneLoveUnitedFamily2007 Posts: 19
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    All of my relationships I've met the people online.I was on Myspace when I met my husband
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    Has the mail order bride business moved online yet? I wonder if Amazon has a section for that.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Back when I had more time, I got on a dating site and purposely chose the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with, just for the good story it would produce. And trust me, I got some GOOD stories.

    I see that as clever, not desperate.

    This is how we met.

    :flowerforyou: :love:

    It's true. Once we have kids, we're going to produce a hilarious, but endless TV show to tell them all about it, starring ourselves and our oddball friends who live above a bar.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
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    If I ever decide to date, I'll probably have to go online to do it- or start stalking the clubs. We're not supposed to date people we work with, and pretty much everyone I know here are people I work with, because I moved here for the job and work with awesome people. I don't think there's anything wrong with internet matchmaking, but I do think there are good ways and bad ways to go about it. There are a ton of articles and books out there that have theories about how to best present yourself to attract the right person, and how to search profiles for someone who might be a good match for you. And maybe you just need to meet a bunch of people until you meet the right one- after all, that's usually how it happens in real life.
  • BaileyP3
    BaileyP3 Posts: 151 Member
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    I met my husband online 13 years ago. We lived in different states and never would have met each other otherwise. Even way back then, I didn't think of it as a sign of desperation. I just wasn't satisfied with the guys I was meeting in "real life" situations, where it was only about initial physical attraction and sometimes beer goggles. :laugh:

    It's just another option... another way of meeting people. And it's becoming as commonplace as meeting at a bar or club. I remember watching old episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore show from the early 70s on TVLand, when meeting someone at a bar was considered scandalous and reeking of desperation. Times change.

    ^^^^This . Met my husband 10 years ago this way.

    I think that meeting online on a site like MFP (one where you have a common interest) is the way to go. Seems to me that if you walk into a bar hoping to meet someone, you may or may not have something in common. Meeting on a board indicates you have a shared interest which is always a good place to start :)
  • jodie_t
    jodie_t Posts: 287 Member
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    I think it's a terrific way to meet compatible ppl, certainly no worse than the usual hit n miss, at least you have a chance to test the water first with emails and phone calls. Just take sensible precautions, but then u would do that in real life as well of course. Have fun!
  • SheilaG1963
    SheilaG1963 Posts: 298 Member
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    I met my husband that way. He talked a good talk and I went to Texas and brought him home and married him. I've spent 12 years asking myself what the hell I did. I'm thinking divorce and wish I had never done it. 12 miserable years of my life wasn't worth being scared of being alone. He lives in a seperate room. I just want out, but can't afford it right now. I have to hang in there until fall, when I will be in better shape financially.
  • JusticeGirl25
    JusticeGirl25 Posts: 703 Member
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    Online dating worked for Manti Te'o, right? RIGHT? ;)

    I won't attempt online dating. I'm a people person and I like to interact with people and have no intentions of meeting people online.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
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    If you never tried it, you should give it a shot. I've found Plenty of Fish to mostly be a hookup site. Horny guys lowering their standards to get a quick lay. It's very shallow, but it's fairly easy to hookup, if that's what you want. It's not the best place to find your life mate. I've done Match before and have had good luck. I've met a handful of pretty attractive girls over the past 6 months. Most of these women were professional (nurses, lawyers, etc) and wanted a relationship. I would recommend this site over POF any day of the week. I've also heard Chemistry.com and eHarmoney are good for landing a relationship

    The dynamic of online dating is different and there are A LOT of serial daters on there, especially if you are good looking. A decent looking guy can have a date every day of the week and it's just as easy (if not easier) for a women to do the same thing.

    While the dating online can be fun, it's no substitute for the bar scene, grocery stores, and the friends of friends network. Good luck out there!
  • bmqbonnie
    bmqbonnie Posts: 836 Member
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    I think it's kind of a necessity in this day and age. People are very mobile, move around for different jobs, often to where they don't know anyone. That's what I did. I moved to MN for an internship and the only people I knew were people that did the same thing and also didn't know anyone. Other than hitting the bars where you'd end up with who knows what, online was the way to go.

    I signed up for match first and went on one date with a guy from there. He didn't like dogs so that wasn't going to work out, lol. I then went on okcupid. Went on a few dates with a guy I didn't really like at all. Then I met my boyfriend and we've been together for a year and a half. I was infatuated with him from the start.

    I like it. Unlike just talking to random people, I know from their profiles what their religious and other beliefs are. I can also weed some out that sound desperate or really bitter. I'm a fan.

    A couple months after meeting my boyfriend I went with him to his hometown to meet some old friends of his. There was a total of five couples there. Four of the couples met online. Two are married and the other two are engaged. I think the stigma is gone.

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