My wife left me once I lost the weight.

You might consider group fitness. When I was having a rough patch (lost a business, lost the house, lost our retirement savings in the real estate bubble) I joined a yoga class at the local YMCA. I also lost a lot of friends at that time because we went from comfortable middle class to totally broke in a short period of time.

You need to get around other like-minded people, be it at church or the gym or taking classes or whatever. Some counseling would be helpful as well.

Jesus!!! Jesus!!? He is the only answer...
Ps.....what has happened to our vows?! People just don't take till death due us part anymore. My heart breaks for you, but I know deep down in my heart that Jesus will never put u threw anything that u can not handle. So, with that said, I would check out a local community church, and see where that leads you. Jesus has a wonderful plan for u!!

I am confused how that could be the only answer.

First off, I am so sorry to hear about this. Try not to be too hard on yourself and beat yourself up for it. It is your wife's issues at play, not yours. Insecurity can destroy people and relationships. I would suggest to seek out therapy so you can talk out your emotions instead of drinking to cover them up (been there done that) which goes to negative town pretty quickly. Also, surround yourself with positive people that love you and care about you. Keep up the positive changes you have made in your life and consider trying something new to keep yourself busy. Think towards the future and focus on yourself.

If you are uncertain about speaking to a pastor do you have health insurance or a employee based mental health benefit (where you can meet with someone a few times w/o cost)?

You said you wanted to live a healthier life, so you know what you need to do. Your wife had issues and now she is free to do what she wants. Take care of yourself and you will be able to move on. Congrats on your loss--weight and wife. You deserve better. Good luck.

My initial thoughts on your issue is that you losing weight wasn't the problem with your relationship. I don't know what she looks like so it is somewhat hard to gauge but the fact that she didn't want you to lose weight speaks volumes in my eyes. It could be something as simple as she has low self esteem and seeing you doing well for herself started to make her resent herself and in turn you. It could be she was a controlling partner and you improving yourself was causing her dominance to slip away giving more and more power in the relationship to you. Maybe you were subtly telling her she needed to get skinny and she just wasn't ready to change herself and that led to her thinking you didn't love her anymore. Again, I don't know your circumstances so please disregard any or all of this if it doesn't fit, but maybe she was cheating on you as it is odd to hear that someone loses weight in a relationship and a persons assumption is "he's cheating on me" only for her to start seeing other guys immediately upon breaking up. That's just an odd conclusion that someone would jump to in my opinion.

That said, as far as coping with your separation, I'd honestly keep hitting the gym as it's a natural stress release. So what if you aren't losing weight as fast, or you aren't progressing as fast as you were, you're leaps and bounds ahead of where you were. Even you just stay status-quo for the next month or so, as long as you keep at it, the results will come over time. After all, you're only competing with yourself in the end.

I hope this helps, as none of what I said above was meant to offend you in any way.

Don't feel bad for me or selfish for your feelings. Everyone has gone thru *kitten*. Losing a spouse who you were obviously very emotionally invested is like a piece of you died I am sure. I know if I lost mine, I'd be utterly lost.

Counseling works! Counseling helps you see there is an end to this. Church doesn't have to be the answer. There are great therapists out there that aren't connected to Christian ties. Google therapists in your area. I'm sure there are some great ones.

No more drinking! No more smoking!

Honestly, I'd go with the counseling advice. It can't hurt if you give it a shot for a month at least.

If that doesn't work, we can go kick her *kitten* for you.

Stop it with the Jesus preaching, OP didn't even disclose his beliefs...

I've worked in the mental health field for ten years now. What stood out to me most was the drinking. I don't know how often you are drinking, but no one intends to be an addict. Please don't let this be your downward spiral, you've been so positive with the weight loss. You could send me a private message with your city and what insurance you have and I can look up a few choices for you if you are ready to pursue counseling. Best wishes.

Hey Mike! I am sorry you are going through this. I went through some really tough stuff with my husband a few years ago. It was devastating to me. My confidence was destroyed! Therapy really helped. It will be hard, but a therapist will help you to order your thoughts and begin making healthy emotional choices to match your healthy physical choices. I recommend you check with your insurance to see what they cover. I have been in therapy for a year and a half and I haven't had to pay a dime out of pocket. If you look to your church for counseling, make sure you see a certified therapist. Preachers don't get much training in counseling and it is not their true passion. I am not saying they can't effectively counsel, but a trained licensed professional is gonna be the best help.