Why are women always on a diet?

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  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    edited for duh.
  • sk_pirate
    sk_pirate Posts: 282 Member
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    I think they are probably not truthfully logging their food and exercise.

    When I am militant about logging, I lose. When I start eyeballing portions and not counting that cookie I ate after supper, I gain. Also the funny thing I notice about a lot of my friends is that they will go to the gym and burn say 300 calories, but then they'll stop and have a 400 calorie smoothie on the way home!

    ...if they log at all!

    I used to work in the very same environment and I was losing weight being a good little MFP'er, the ladies all claimed they ate well and had a salad for lunch which I suspect was just for show. I would always see them snacking all day on those Hershey miniatures, or pretzels, flavoured popcorn etcetcetc.... Meh, if they want it to wok, they will make the changes.

    My vote is lying to themselves but at the same time "show off" that they "want" to lose weight without actually putting any work in.

    Just my 2c..
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    This isn't true for every woman, but as someone who intends to have kids in the next few years, it's really depressing to me that I will have to lose weight all over again 2 or 3 more times even if I'm doing everything "right." I am going to try to avoid gaining too much extra weight while pregnant, but some weight gain is inevitable (and only about half of that disappears soon after giving birth). Basically, I can look forward to carefully watching what I eat for the next 8 or so years (and then have a brief reprieve before hormones change again, making weight maintenance more difficult). My husband still has 30 or so pounds to lose, but I'm jealous that once he loses the weight, he'll only have to try to maintain.

    Admittedly this is an issue for a lot of women who plan on future pregnancies. I lost 82 lbs after my son was born and was in awesome shape. I had a really hard time accepting that I intended to do the whole pregnancy thing at least once more. I gave it a LOT of thought and made sure I was ok with everything pregnancy entailed before we decided to have another. Yeah, I've gained more than I wanted to so far (with two months to go), but I've still done way better than I did the first time (no gestational diabetes with either pregnancy, thankfully), and I know what I have to do to lose it again. I also know that I'm capable of losing it, and now I have a lot of fitness-minded friends, both on MFP and in real life, to support me. By staying active on MFP I've actually learned a lot and within the past four months or so have determined that I am going to do the Roadmap and incorporate lifting into my fitness regime. If you'd asked me about either one 6 months ago, I wouldn't have known what to say (I didn't know the Roadmap existed, and I didn't think lifting was worthwhile).

    It sucks that I have to "start all over," but it's ok. I have had minor issues with this pregnancy (the last one was totally uneventful) that have convinced me that I am stopping after two kids. My husband has changed his tune, too, so I know that this is the last time I'll be doing this. To be honest I am a bit sad about only having two months left of extra leeway with calories!

    ETA that I apologize for going slightly off-topic, but I wanted to respond to this person, since the issue she posted about really messed with my head, personally.
  • Sunny_fit4life
    Sunny_fit4life Posts: 157 Member
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    I think it is in our culture that a woman needs to claim to be "on a diet" if she is overweight. It's a way of publicly acknowledging, "Yes, I know I'm overweight and I'm trying to do something about it."

    Good point. But that pressure is a bunch of bologna.

    Personally, I feel pressure to not tell people that I'm trying to lose weight. I guess because I want to give the impression that I'm super secure in who I am. I know I'm doing it for my health and own well-being, but once people hear I'm trying to get fit they suddenly think "Oh no she's insecure!" and start telling me, "You, know, you're just fine the way you are!"

    Women are weird. I am a woman, so I can say that, right? Or no?
  • nehushtan
    nehushtan Posts: 566 Member
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    I was thinking the same thoughts as the OP. I came to the same conclusion, that for many people (but for whatever reason especially a lot of ladies) "being on a diet" is primarily a social thing while the result -- actually losing the weight -- is secondary.

    I don't think it's because they are just putting up a front, I just think it's easy to be distracted from the goal by the social aspect of it. Knowing that friends, co-workers, or acquaintances know you are dieting is comforting because it lets you tell yourself and others "At least I'm doing something". It's also comforting that the rest of them struggle -- so the fact that you aren't making much progress doesn't seem so bad. When everyone talks and jokes about how they cheat on the weekend you can feel like this lets you off the hook also.

    Joking is a big part of social dieting. People are joking with each other all the time about how "bad" they are, and joking how they are going to "start back tomorrow" after eating some pie & ice cream in front of everyone, and joking how this or that food's calories "don't count" because of x y z funny reason. Joking is the social lubricant for accepting the failure that everyone considers normal.

    To succeed you may have to distance yourself a bit -- maybe even radically -- from the group's groupthink. In fact, if you succeed at losing the weight this may actually exclude you from the circle.

    Friends who diet can be distractions or stumbling blocks... for example, your friend found a new grapefruit cleanse and lost a couple of pounds with it last week and so you decide to try it too; or you and your friends start going to a Zumba class together... everyone's excited ... but you stop going when they stop as well.

    So be warned -- you may think you are king or queen of your own fate when in fact you are being controlled by the crowd.
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
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    I vote for they're lying to themselves. My friends all tell me how lucky I am to be thin because no matter how hard they try they can't lose weight. If I spend any time with them I know exactly why they don't lose weight but they don't want to hear it.

    QFT
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I for one can tell you not ALL women are on a diet. I'm not now, nor have I ever been. I just changed my lifestyle to more good for me food and less bad for me food. *shrugs*
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    Diet is an ugly four letter word. If you are making changes they have to be life style changes, you cant go back to your old ways and expect to keep weight off. They are most likely lying to themselves or "dieting" for 2-3 days a week and old habits the rest of the week.

    This.

    Plus, they might be on their best behavior while eating in front of people, then indulging at home . Probably 'dieting' and watching what they eat on weekdays and letting loose on the weekend. Diet mentality... has 'cheat' days. :I

    It might also just be the social aspect. I have friends all the time talking about weight loss and diets. Girls seem to do that, a lot.
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
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    I think I know the kind of attitude you are talking about although that is not my experience here (and I'm the short fat one who works with two tall and super thin ladies).

    I had friends like this in high school and one of them is honestly the most ignorant person I know. She tried every stupid fad diet out there and the worst part was she always tried to make everyone else feel like **** too. "OMG are you EATING AFTER 6PM??" things like that. One of her big diet plans included just eating a banana. I remember I was so excited to fit into a smaller pair of jeans and she immediately went into this "WELL SOME SIZES JUST RUN DIFFERENT" (which is true but I had lost weight over summer) because god forbid someone have a success and celebrate it. I had had enough of her comparing the size of her thighs to other girls we knew and I suspect one of her favorite things about me was I was fatter than her. Needless to say we are no longer friends and she has gained at least 100 lbs since high school. I remember after I stopped talking to her she went and told everyone that I was ***** for "not supporting her while she was trying to lose weight"... no mention of how my dad was in the ICU at the time and I didn't have time for her bad attitude and awful boyfriend. I don't like being around women like this anymore and I think it has contributed to the fact that most of my friends now are guys.
  • 1Kristine1
    1Kristine1 Posts: 697 Member
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    Because the media is always telling us we should be?
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
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    I'm a bit insulted everyone is jumping on the "it's just a woman thing" bandwagon here.

    It's really not.

    More of the men in my office are on "diets" and yet still go grab burgers for lunch, snack all day on chips and candy and barely exercise.

    I'm on paleo brah, I'm on keto, dude. I'm on atkins, man.

    Really? :noway: ...cause it doesn't look like it.
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    I think it is in our culture that a woman needs to claim to be "on a diet" if she is overweight. It's a way of publicly acknowledging, "Yes, I know I'm overweight and I'm trying to do something about it."

    Yet, I think "always" being on a diet is impossible so it turns into this on-again, off-again diet that can go on indefinitely. Tracking food for three days, then having an off day, giving up for a week or two, back to tracking, etc. etc. That was my pattern for the past few years until I finally realized that I need to commit to working on my weight for a longer period of time if I want to see any real results. It has been a couple of months now and I am still going strong.

    Congrats on your couple months of consistency! c:

    I agree... I feel like I avoid criticism by criticizing my weight out in the open or letting people know I am on a diet. It's like telling them I'm not happy with being overweight either and I don't need them to inform me of my problem.. it's letting them know I'm already working on it to prevent them bringing it up first.
  • 1Kristine1
    1Kristine1 Posts: 697 Member
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    I'm on paleo brah, I'm on keto, dude. I'm on atkins, man.

    Really? :noway: ...cause it doesn't look like it.

    I just laughed at this. :)
  • Annette_rose
    Annette_rose Posts: 427 Member
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    Everywhere we look, beauty is defined by being slender; magazines, t.v., billboards etc. I have two daughters who struggle with also trying to be what society claims as beautiful. I got up to 185 at one point years ago after my 3 children and had a husband who cheated because he said "she was slender". Well, I lost the weight AND THE HUSBAND :happy: He is now sucking the life out of another woman. All of the men I know do actually have an easier time losing weight when they put their minds to it, where I have seen some women truly try yet struggle. I do find that logging my food and not cheating does make a difference. I didn't realize how many calories I was taking in until I logged every single thing. I will always be a more curvy person and not the 105 lb person I was at 20. I know a couple of women who are thin as rails and try all they can to GAIN weight but can't. I work in a medical clinic and every woman in here is trying to lose weight at some time or another. And, they all go around telling each other which "diet" works best; low carbs, high protein. I hear it all. I wonder if part of it could be that women are more vocal about their strides to lose weight than men are? I don't hear the men in the clinic talk so much about losing weight, even if they are overweight.
  • TheKoren
    TheKoren Posts: 20 Member
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    Something I'm going to toss out there that no one else has mentioned yet...if they are seriously overweight, they may be having modest success but you won't *see* the difference until they've lost the first 30-40 pounds.

    Do you spend a lot of time studying your co-worker's overweight bodies in detail? I would venture a guess...no. So you might not pick up on a subtle loss - it might not be obvious until they've already dropped 3-4 sizes!

    That being said...if the ladies are admitting no weight loss, probably some of the things you suggested: denial, not tracking, etc.

    I think sitting around talking about it can *sometimes* be counter-productive. That's why I didn't stay with a support group when I quit smoking - spend all your time talking about smoking, you're gonna want to smoke all the time!! So if you sit around talking about your diet...food is going to be on the front of your brain most of the time. Too easy to binge, IMHO.

    Maybe it would be better to spend their time talking about the latest trail you hiked, best places to run/swim/ski, or getting together a sports team of some kind. I don't know...body does often follow mind though.
  • bbydl64
    bbydl64 Posts: 30 Member
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    oh shut up u man....lol:smile:
  • xoxsashaxox
    xoxsashaxox Posts: 23 Member
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    I think its more difficult for women to lose weight in general expecially after having children. But mostly i think that its because of the fact that many women are fooled and believe diets are long term ways to keep weight off..when the only real way to KEEP weight off is CHANGEING YOUR LIFESTYLE. i cant stress that enough! Diets are short term and you will gain every pound back, you really have to get to the point where you decided this is your life now and you will always live a healthier lifestyle...FOREVER
  • Jonesie1984
    Jonesie1984 Posts: 612 Member
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    I vote for they're lying to themselves. My friends all tell me how lucky I am to be thin because no matter how hard they try they can't lose weight. If I spend any time with them I know exactly why they don't lose weight but they don't want to hear it.

    ^^ THIS. My friends have worked out with me and claim that "it just doesn't work, your metabolism is fast" and it's not.. it's because when they leave the gym the stop and get a double cheeseburger lol..

    calories in vs calories out. gotta move more than you consume.
  • tRiNaBeAnZz
    tRiNaBeAnZz Posts: 114 Member
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    I have been one of those women. The reason they don't lose any (substantial) weight is because it's a diet, something they will do for now and then go back to their previous eating habits. I've definitely done it, you name it, Weight Watchers, Biggest Loser, Slimming World.....

    But now on MFP I'm not on a diet I'm changing habits and adapting my way of eating, portion control etc.

    This!!! DIETS DON'T WORK. You need to make a lifestyle change and make healthy decisions for life. Does that mean skip the foods you love and eat like a rabbit? No. It means, go out with friends and family and watch your portions, try the grilled chicken, swap out a few things. :)
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    The ability of people to fool themselves should never be underestimated. I gave up smoking over 20 years ago but when I smoked if asked I would always say I smoked 20 a day. I truly believed this was the truth. It was not until 6 months after I had stopped smoking that I realised that if I bought a pack of twenty every morning on the way to work and a pack of 20 on the way home, I was actually smoking 40 a day. Yet I repeat, I truly believed, (desperately wanted to believe), that I only smoked 20 a day.
    If you don't count your calories accurately you can believe what you want about how your diet is going. This Is what happens to too many dieters. Oh and it's not just women, men are just as bad, it's just that there are less men talking about their diets.

    THIS THIS THIS excuses excuses and plain old denial. Most people are just blind to reality. They binge when the come home from work. They only eat those disgusting prepackaged diet foods at work. The drink a soda here and there. It's easier to blame some outside uncontrollable source then take a real hard look at yourself and realize you are the problem. Accountability is a 4 letter word.

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