Is it rude to delete/decline friends with a private diary?

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Well, I don't even log food consistently, and I don't ask for help or support with my food choices.

You are free to use this site as you see fit. I don't look at my "friends" food diary.

I have my friends list restricted to people who I have something in common with and who I interact with. Tbh I don't really worry too much if a friend chooses to have a closed diary I just do not comment on it when they post, as it would be pointless to comment on something I haven't seen. I respect my friends decisions to do this their way and concentrate on the things I have in common with them.

I'm friends with people, not diaries.

Now, if they're griping and need help, then ok open that diary. Otherwise, who cares? What you eat and whether or not you log it is your business. I'm nobody's food police.

i didn't even realize my diary was set to private i thought everyone who was my friend could see my diary automatically. It wasn't until i went into my profile for another reason did i even see the diary settings and put it to where my friends could see it. maybe some people just don't know they are set to private, it's the default setting when you sign up for MFP.

Too be honest I never look at anyone's diary so I don't care.

It really is helpful to me to see what others are eating. Just for ideas, you know?

You have to decide what you want from your friends here and act on that.

Do you really care if you decline some random stranger to your FL? Does anyone?

My diary is viewable by my friends. However, I don't "complete" my diary at the end of the night. Because I don't need other people to cheer me on in that aspect, plus I don't like seeing the "If every day were like today..." message that comes up when you complete it. I don't like getting caught up in the weight it tells me I should be in five weeks. I also don't look at my friends diaries very often or comment on them. A couple people eat similar to me, or eat what I want to be eating, so I may look at theirs for some new ideas. However, I have a lot of friends that don't eat like me and unless they ask me for my opinion, I am not going to give it. I always try to comment on exercise to be an encouragement with that. Yes, I do think it would be rude to delete someone for not having an open diary. Many people who start on here are not ready for that kind of openness, but are still looking for support. Many of my friends started out with a closed diary and after building friendships, felt safe enough to open them.

some people don't know their diary is private I just recently opened mine because I kept seeing these type discussions.

I have my friends list restricted to people who I have something in common with and who I interact with. Tbh I don't really worry too much if a friend chooses to have a closed diary I just do not comment on it when they post, as it would be pointless to comment on something I haven't seen. I respect my friends decisions to do this their way and concentrate on the things I have in common with them.

This how I do things.

This is an interesting question.

My gut reaction is why would I want to be friends with someone who has "restrictions" like I have to share my diary with them (this is a generalization, not directed at the OP specifically, just using her example).

It carries over to friends in general. I had one who had so many restrictions that it became tedious even just to send her a text. She didn't do phone calls. She didn't do emails. She only wanted texts between certain hours of the day (understandable to an extent as they have to keep the phone nearby even when sleeping since her husband is a state trooper) and these hours would change without notice. She wouldn't tell me major events - she assumed I would read them either on Facebook or on another forum we frequent. It got to a point where I didn't know when I could text her (her preferred method of communication) and I am trying to cut back on online time and spend more time doing "me" things like becoming more active, painting and writing so I was missing out on a lot of her life.

For me, it seems more rude to put conditions on friendships. However, I also understand that if I want you to help me with my dietary habits, you need that information. So I guess -- helpful answer -- it depends? :ohwell:

And what's with the obsession people have about diaries?! It is a TOOL, for the person using it.

Do your friends know how big your husband's *o*K is if you're asking for advice about intimacy?

Who really cares?! lol Get on with your own life and if you don't want to be friends with someone who doesn't list all their foods for you to see, well my guess is that loss is yours.

I try to friend people who have similar goals to me, or who encourage me in some way. If someone wants to friend me but their profile doesn't tell me anything about them, then I ignore the request.

If a person asks me about their eating patterns and does not explain to me what they are, then it is helpful to have access the the diary. I sometimes look at friends' diaries for meal ideas, or to learn how I can budget my calories better. But, the diary is not a dealbreaker for me.