Is it rude to delete/decline friends with a private diary?

Its one thing if someone asks "what am I doing wrong" and their diary is private then you can ask them to open their diary. Personally my diary is private. I don't ask silly questions nor do I ask people to critique what I eat. Its no ones business what I eat, when or how much. I log in for myself and no one else. Too many know it all's out there making rude comments so I closed mine up.

I dont think so. You are supposed to be supportive and encouraging and you need to see these things. I wont accept a request if someone wont at least leave me a message with the request ( is that to much to ask?) or if they havent filled out anything on their profile at all. I want to know about you! As far as the food diary....it would be nice to be able to see what they are eating but, if they are too embarresed to share it i understand. I dont know why anyone would keep it private otherwise.

^^This! ^^

to be honest it is your choice to accept or delete as you feel fit too, or you could just ask them to share there diary with you x x x

Just to throw the cat amongst the pigeons...IMO most people ( I may be wrong) add people who they thing have done or are doing well with losing weight/gaining muscle so it would make sense to me that those people would want to check out the diary you are keeping?

If you have an open diary then it could be because you think it is a good diary to share and you are not bothered if people check it out?

So, if you add a friend, they are going to be looking at this diary, can they question you about it?

If this friend sees something that they find `wrong` about your food/exercise logging can they not message you about it? What is the whole `friend` thing about?

What is the whole `friend` thing about?

I have a very active friends list and none of it is related to food diaries. I run as do many of my friends. They congratulate me on good runs and console me over bad ones. The commiserate when I whine about work or other things in life. I do the same for them. I don't know what a deadlift is, but it sounds impressive that one of my girl friends can deadlift my 22 year old son. So I congratulate her for that. I am constantly entertained by my friends lives and antics and I occasionally give them a laugh too. We share a common goal of weight loss/fitness at various stages, and I rely on my friends to provide insight and experience with things I'm struggling to do. My friends encourage each baby step forward, and help me not get sucked into the pit when I take a step back. They answer my dumb questions, which are nearly endless. I do the same things for them-although none of them ask dumb questions. I've never looked at a friend's diary, and they have never seen mine. I have a race tomorrow that I'm incredibly worked up about. And even if I trip and break my ankle and ride the course in an ambulance, my friends will have encouraging comments. And that will make it all ok. That is what the "friends" thing is about to me. If anyone ever cared what I ate, I would tell them. My running is already on display for the world to see.

How can I support you if I don't know what I'm supporting? How can I offer suggestions if I don't know what you are doing and what you're not doing?

You don't want friends with closed diaries and I don't want suggestions. See how well this works out?

I think it is more important what *MFP friends, pals* say to you rather than what they put in their mouth. If they are staying under their calorie goal, hopefully, they are doing it healthily. If they want support they will ask for it I guess. I am here for support too, and try not to judge how someone is eating but don't like the less than 1200 calories club either. There are so many ways to figure out calories in and calories out so it must be working for them. I find the MFP exercise log so far off as I use the bodybugg and I trust that I am not burning more calories than it says. Haha! I KNOW I am not burning more calories than the BB says because I am not losing any weight, so definitely there is some irony there. Oh wells, decline/delete or unhide as you need to for your own reasons. We are here for each other and not everyone is available for whatever reasons. I wouldn't feel guilty cuz this is your program and you are not to be judged. Ask for help like this and you will get many kinds of opinions. What matters in the end is your own mental health, you have to live with yourself 24 / 7 right? I wouldn't beat myself up over this because someone told me that in the big scheme of things, MFP is here to help me on my journey and that's not meant to make me or anyone feel bad - hope this helps.

Depends on what type of friends you want. Personally, I don't care if your diary is open or closed. My diary is private because I don't feel I need advice or support around what I eat. Food is a bit of a triggery issue for me after struggling with eating difficulties in the past, so I don't find it remotely helpful to have my food choices scrutinized. I've found a healthy system that works well for me, so I'm going to keep doing it. Your opinions will mean absolutely nothing, so I don't see the point in having an open diary. I'm more likely to need motivation to work out, so that's what I make public.

I'm willing to offer other people diet advice - I've lost quite a bit of weight so far, so I think what I have to say might be worth hearing - but if my closed diary puts you off, fair enough.

Its being uptight but you can do whatever you want to do.